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Perfecto me entanto el escenario de trama muy bien , hecho exactamente para para alguien que le gusta las batallas reñidas [img=recommend][img=coins]
Spoiler de révélation
It's clear that noone cares about consistency or logic, just throw random elements together and hope it sticks. Well, it doesn't! First off, the protagonist's abilities with Chakra are suddenly converted into Ki for dumb reason, But hold on, there's no Ki in this world! So why would it be converted from Chakra into Ki? The protagonist is left without any Chakra, rendering him incapable of using any jutsu. Good, You've successfully crippled the very foundation of the story. The protagonist is apparently all-powerful with zero explanation or backstory, and can deal with anything and anyone right from the start. And speaking of explanations, forget about getting any, The jutsu, physical training, and interactions between the team are all conveniently skipped. Coherent storytelling is not important when you can just jump from one random event to another without any rhyme or reason, The protagonist joins a team with no clear goal or purpose, to gain absolutely nothing from it, The other characters might as well be cardboard because their reactions and inner thoughts are completely ignored. The chapter 7 and 8, where The entire mission is skipped over, so that the protagonist can magically pull some super op skill out of thin air and save the day. The protagonist can use these overpowered techniques, But even the Hokage, who's a master of all jutsu, doesn't care. And just when you think it can't get any more dumb, the author introduces skills like 'rasengan kahehameha'. No training, no progression, no details, just the MC saving the day by stumbling upon one super op skill after another with incomplete explanations.
[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
hmm look I really really like your story's premise and I've often thought to myself just having dragon Ball Z's version of Ki and having all the knowledge of the techniques of one or two characters from the series would be overpowered in a lot of various settings and would make for an awesome si fanfic and your story's is premise somewhat close to that so I'm highly interested. but your story has some serious problems and it's hard to enjoy reading your story with these problems present in it and chief among them are grammar and dialogue issues. as there's pretty much grammar issues in every sentence of your story and the most common among them are extra words that don't need to be there or what you mean to say is there but the words are in the wrong order. and then there's phrasing and what do I mean by that it's just like you could have said it smoother or better. as a lot of the dialogue doesn't feel very natural and not like a computer unnatural more like the awkward Foreigner that can communicate his ideas but he says it like the most awkward way possible and it just makes character feel off in away I can't quite describe. I also can help think to myself is the magic pendant that increases gravity necessary? when the Naruto universe has fuinjutsu which you could probably use to replicate to the same effect. then there's a whole elephant in the room about him not being seen using dragon Ball z techniques at night or just before the sun rises or whatever. as most dragon Ball techniques are pretty much a light show and should be a beacon in the middle of the night to any civilians or Ninja who just happened to be on patrol at night and that's not even getting into the how they're super destructive. then there's the fact you give him ultra instinct in chapter 1. which made it feel completely unearned. which was kind of s***** thing to do.
Awesome work good story notso overpowered but still prettystrong ............................ if you give more chs regularly i give you more stones from thanos. So you know what to do[img=update]
Perfecto me entanto el escenario de trama muy bien , hecho exactamente para para alguien que le gusta las batallas reñidas [img=recommend][img=coins]
Spoiler de révélation It's clear that noone cares about consistency or logic, just throw random elements together and hope it sticks. Well, it doesn't! First off, the protagonist's abilities with Chakra are suddenly converted into Ki for dumb reason, But hold on, there's no Ki in this world! So why would it be converted from Chakra into Ki? The protagonist is left without any Chakra, rendering him incapable of using any jutsu. Good, You've successfully crippled the very foundation of the story. The protagonist is apparently all-powerful with zero explanation or backstory, and can deal with anything and anyone right from the start. And speaking of explanations, forget about getting any, The jutsu, physical training, and interactions between the team are all conveniently skipped. Coherent storytelling is not important when you can just jump from one random event to another without any rhyme or reason, The protagonist joins a team with no clear goal or purpose, to gain absolutely nothing from it, The other characters might as well be cardboard because their reactions and inner thoughts are completely ignored. The chapter 7 and 8, where The entire mission is skipped over, so that the protagonist can magically pull some super op skill out of thin air and save the day. The protagonist can use these overpowered techniques, But even the Hokage, who's a master of all jutsu, doesn't care. And just when you think it can't get any more dumb, the author introduces skills like 'rasengan kahehameha'. No training, no progression, no details, just the MC saving the day by stumbling upon one super op skill after another with incomplete explanations.
[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
hmm look I really really like your story's premise and I've often thought to myself just having dragon Ball Z's version of Ki and having all the knowledge of the techniques of one or two characters from the series would be overpowered in a lot of various settings and would make for an awesome si fanfic and your story's is premise somewhat close to that so I'm highly interested. but your story has some serious problems and it's hard to enjoy reading your story with these problems present in it and chief among them are grammar and dialogue issues. as there's pretty much grammar issues in every sentence of your story and the most common among them are extra words that don't need to be there or what you mean to say is there but the words are in the wrong order. and then there's phrasing and what do I mean by that it's just like you could have said it smoother or better. as a lot of the dialogue doesn't feel very natural and not like a computer unnatural more like the awkward Foreigner that can communicate his ideas but he says it like the most awkward way possible and it just makes character feel off in away I can't quite describe. I also can help think to myself is the magic pendant that increases gravity necessary? when the Naruto universe has fuinjutsu which you could probably use to replicate to the same effect. then there's a whole elephant in the room about him not being seen using dragon Ball z techniques at night or just before the sun rises or whatever. as most dragon Ball techniques are pretty much a light show and should be a beacon in the middle of the night to any civilians or Ninja who just happened to be on patrol at night and that's not even getting into the how they're super destructive. then there's the fact you give him ultra instinct in chapter 1. which made it feel completely unearned. which was kind of s***** thing to do.
Awesome work good story notso overpowered but still prettystrong ............................ if you give more chs regularly i give you more stones from thanos. So you know what to do[img=update]