54Critiques
4.62
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Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯
Δ°s he enter shrek?(140char..........nmm.................................m..mmmmmmm.................................. ...............................mmmmmaaaaarrrrr...gggggggggggg)
For me this novel is good, I can see author improvement in this story. I very aware that not all story is perfect... but even though the novel is still lacking at few aspect, I still give author 5 stars
Sorry bud but i feel like this is not a good representation if the Douluo Dalu world at all and is just a typical cultivation world with the cultivation system of douluo dalu. Unexplained power use, the mc and his mother somehow randomly learn how to fight without any type of training involved nor are they over spirit level 10. All enemies doesnβt even have any brain, a typical young master, their parents who are city lords (not sure how they became that if they are like that). You left so many plot holes that it literally hurts to just think. What happened to the mistress of Yuhaoβs father and his fatherβs reaction? There was even a period where you just copypasted from slime tensei and just changed the names! Also, (Donβt read any further if you get triggered by my opinion on ******): Wtf is with people in the comment section? Almost all of them want to see ****** between Yuhao and his mom, which is in my opinion something really disgusting. I wonder how many of these 14 years olds (cause 9 years old usually donβt get horny) would love to have sexual intercourse with their own mother. I happen upon 15 comments on a single line with All 15 people asking for ******. in my opinion and as a son, i would love to see them all burn in hell. Harem is one thing in novels that i mostly canβt bear if the novel have characters without brain but ****** is just something i canβt bear at all. Go die in a fire all of you disgusting fuc*s
Spoiler de rΓ©vΓ©lation
i will give 5 star for the incest..... thanks sensei --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amazing concept amazing story, and grammar improving. Suggestions of world travel. Over Lord Naruto Marvel Dc Dxd Familiar of zero. Transformers. High school of the dead. Dragon ball z One punch man
πππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
Im just gonna day this to me the story is turning out amazing and the grammar needs work but hey weβre going to get there also please if only by. A little bit could we get a mass release up to like chapter 30 or somethings I canβt keep waiting for these chapters yah know
πππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
Spoiler de rΓ©vΓ©lation
Need more chapter 9yxy0xy9xipxoyxpyxyoxyoxpoyzt8zt9zyozpypyioyyoxypxypx0hcooyxhocoycypcypypxoyycpupcuppucuvpuvpupupypyotiityoocouxooyxyoxyoxupui0ucic9yxt8xuy99yy0cy0c0yxy0duc0u0cu0f0uu0cupcicupupupcupvupcupc Vevev6d
Spoiler de rΓ©vΓ©lation
Nice chapter Need mass release chapter Lol me 8hiyt8dtd7r7dt7xfu9uf9yf8tdt8dy9fu0vi0g0ig9yc8txt7st8fr7sr7srt9u9g8tf9fgh08txt8d0hu0g8yxfy9ihu0g8txt8s7rs47st8y9fu9g8yuuuhoyu9g0ugu9fhohoghy0g9y9f8tdt8st8d8t8tst8dy8yyuig88td7rsr7yhujhovjohgviohhhocochi8yxt8dtid8ts8ts9yxc9hiovjiijjpjvpjcjoyfgiditditx9g
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The story is good,it has a nice Character development, good mc and system. The only thing lacking is the grammar but it is still passable...
After reading this so far its still good to read but at least keep update regulary! After reading this so far its still good to read but at least keep update regulary!
good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........
Lanjuuuuut bro Semangat terus ...... keep update your fic Good luck ππ» ππ»πͺπ»βπ»ππ»πͺπ»βπ»ππ»βπ»π¦βπ»ππ»βπ»πͺπ»βπ»ππ»πͺπ»βπ»ππ»πͺπ»βπ»
Why does he look like such a prick in that cover? He has such a punchable face...I just get this feeling like I want to just beat the **** out that face. Lmao! Now onto the actual story. It's...ight. There's a system if u like that.
Great story, dear writer, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story. ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯\(-γ -)/ β₯ β₯ β₯
Δ°s he enter shrek?(140char..........nmm.................................m..mmmmmmm.................................. ...............................mmmmmaaaaarrrrr...gggggggggggg)
For me this novel is good, I can see author improvement in this story. I very aware that not all story is perfect... but even though the novel is still lacking at few aspect, I still give author 5 stars
Sorry bud but i feel like this is not a good representation if the Douluo Dalu world at all and is just a typical cultivation world with the cultivation system of douluo dalu. Unexplained power use, the mc and his mother somehow randomly learn how to fight without any type of training involved nor are they over spirit level 10. All enemies doesnβt even have any brain, a typical young master, their parents who are city lords (not sure how they became that if they are like that). You left so many plot holes that it literally hurts to just think. What happened to the mistress of Yuhaoβs father and his fatherβs reaction? There was even a period where you just copypasted from slime tensei and just changed the names! Also, (Donβt read any further if you get triggered by my opinion on ******): Wtf is with people in the comment section? Almost all of them want to see ****** between Yuhao and his mom, which is in my opinion something really disgusting. I wonder how many of these 14 years olds (cause 9 years old usually donβt get horny) would love to have sexual intercourse with their own mother. I happen upon 15 comments on a single line with All 15 people asking for ******. in my opinion and as a son, i would love to see them all burn in hell. Harem is one thing in novels that i mostly canβt bear if the novel have characters without brain but ****** is just something i canβt bear at all. Go die in a fire all of you disgusting fuc*s
Spoiler de rΓ©vΓ©lation i will give 5 star for the incest..... thanks sensei --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amazing concept amazing story, and grammar improving. Suggestions of world travel. Over Lord Naruto Marvel Dc Dxd Familiar of zero. Transformers. High school of the dead. Dragon ball z One punch man
πππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
Im just gonna day this to me the story is turning out amazing and the grammar needs work but hey weβre going to get there also please if only by. A little bit could we get a mass release up to like chapter 30 or somethings I canβt keep waiting for these chapters yah know
πππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
Spoiler de rΓ©vΓ©lation Need more chapter 9yxy0xy9xipxoyxpyxyoxyoxpoyzt8zt9zyozpypyioyyoxypxypx0hcooyxhocoycypcypypxoyycpupcuppucuvpuvpupupypyotiityoocouxooyxyoxyoxupui0ucic9yxt8xuy99yy0cy0c0yxy0duc0u0cu0f0uu0cupcicupupupcupvupcupc Vevev6d
Spoiler de rΓ©vΓ©lation Nice chapter Need mass release chapter Lol me 8hiyt8dtd7r7dt7xfu9uf9yf8tdt8dy9fu0vi0g0ig9yc8txt7st8fr7sr7srt9u9g8tf9fgh08txt8d0hu0g8yxfy9ihu0g8txt8s7rs47st8y9fu9g8yuuuhoyu9g0ugu9fhohoghy0g9y9f8tdt8st8d8t8tst8dy8yyuig88td7rsr7yhujhovjohgviohhhocochi8yxt8dtid8ts8ts9yxc9hiovjiijjpjvpjcjoyfgiditditx9g
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The story is good,it has a nice Character development, good mc and system. The only thing lacking is the grammar but it is still passable...
After reading this so far its still good to read but at least keep update regulary! After reading this so far its still good to read but at least keep update regulary!
good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........good so far, the system is interesting........β¦,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........β¦........
Lanjuuuuut bro Semangat terus ...... keep update your fic Good luck ππ» ππ»πͺπ»βπ»ππ»πͺπ»βπ»ππ»βπ»π¦βπ»ππ»βπ»πͺπ»βπ»ππ»πͺπ»βπ»ππ»πͺπ»βπ»
Why does he look like such a prick in that cover? He has such a punchable face...I just get this feeling like I want to just beat the **** out that face. Lmao! Now onto the actual story. It's...ight. There's a system if u like that.
Great story, dear writer, I'm waiting for the continuation of the story. ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ