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Born as the emperor's first-born child. An abomination twice over, the Order of Bene Gesserit would move to kill this anomaly. Prophets aren't so easy to kill, especially a false one.
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4.61
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PLEASE READ,I never leave reviews as they are not helpful to readers only writers but I must see this creation prosper. So far, the story has been great, with the only Grammer being the misuse of a word or two and forgetting to use the plural version instead of singular.
It’s an ok fic, no more than that. Mc is the son of the emperor and bene gesserit and gets sent to arrakis when he’s about a couple months old, becomes fremen freedom fighter and then leader, also hates the prophecy and fights against it. Makes technology like odm gear from attack on titan, shield for the planet, etc. Grammar is barely passable, sometimes you can read it, and then other times you can’t. The person talking will be written her 10x, and then you find out it was actually a guy the whole time. It confuses me when you can’t even properly gender whoever is currently talking at the time, and makes this fic annoying to try to read and understand. Plot is just meh, reading for fun.
this has a great premise. i saw how on another side this story got a bit target by people critizing its"realism" and all. Which is funny when you are talking about a fictional universe in the first place... So to the author: dont listen to the trolls. You are writing a solid developing story that makes me check daily for updates!
I liked it so far. I've only watched the movies, haven't read the comics or novel, and one thing stood out to me: there are many references to Arabic culture and Muslims (words like: kazaab, al mahadi...).
The grammar should be improved by a lot, especially with the slow release date and word count story and pace if are alright, at the beginning the aurther tried writing where “1-a” would be like 20 years before the movie, and the “b” would be the actual start of the movie. So it’s very hard to understand what’s going on. I found myself nearly skipping all the “a parts” as there was not story progress there and only flashbacks. The mc is basically Erin Yeager from AOT and even uses the wings of freedom and the idk gear. (Which is stupid to use as the shields the guys use don’t allow fast movement past them, which is what the odm is doing). Also more context instead of statement EX: Inzal finds Harkkonen, Harkkonen die, friend dies too, he sad now, more killing, Astreides help and become friends. There is also some plot holes that I have pointed out and the aurther has not explained them(he is in pain from using somthing like the 6 eye(I think?) but he was also half Kwisatz Haderach so I stead of seeing space and time he only sees space, and so he has all the memories of his ancestors including the group of sisters, which they know how to train a Mentat which would help elevate the pain but he does no such thing at all). All in all it’s pretty good, the beginning is rushed and thes some major plot holes and spelling and grammatical errors, but I believe he could learn from all of it.
Revelar spoiler
That story is great, really good. There are some mistakes, but nothing major. I just don't like the protagonist, but everything else is pretty cool.
Plot given enough time to unravel, and mc motives are justified. Some typos here and there, but nothing too devastating. So far very promising.
a great story with intriguing writing and an excellent plot. i really hope you keep going with this.
PLEASE READ,I never leave reviews as they are not helpful to readers only writers but I must see this creation prosper. ……………………………………………………………………..
it is the dune universe so go read the original books or watch the movies for background world. update a bit slow but hey this ff already completed, so im not complaining. mc, writing quality n story devs is good. i really love reading any author making a dark grim story to become more brighter and hopeful, if that make any sense to you. anyways, congrats author for finishing ur story 🎉🎉🎉
🔥🔥🔥🔥 Captured Dune in its Essence. 👍👍 MC could have been better, but all other characters 👍👍
This an amazing story, sad that it ended but happy for its good conclusion.
This story was truly special to me. I’m overjoyed and thankful that the author brought it to a proper conclusion, especially since they often leave stories unfinished. Yet, I can’t help but feel a bit sad now that this journey has come to an end—it’s like saying goodbye to a dear friend.
Well a good fic from Bum author.. Well bum one can destroy this fic like ll the other's. ..............................................................................................................................
No waaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy[img=gift][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=thinking][img=recommend][img=disgusted][img=disgusted][img=fp][img=Envy][img=In a daze][img=Shocked][img=Out of it][img=exp]
Peak fiction, as it was written, lisan al gaib. Do not drop, we must see the golden path. My one critique is that you post too slowly, I am impatient. Your healing asoiaf fanfic was great too.