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6.44% Breaker: From A Nobody To A Villainess / Chapter 27: Notebook

Capítulo 27: Notebook

Not too long had passed since Ash had returned to her home and a young teenager had returned back to their home.

Upon opening the door and entering, there was an envelope that had been kicked aside by his feet. "Hm?"

He had a gloomy and timid appearance which suggested that he was quite withdrawn and probably suffered some form of bullying.

The youth saw that the envelope had no address or name on it to let him know who it was addressed to so he became quite curious about it and picked it up.

If the letter was addressed to one of his family members then he may have left it there or put it somewhere that his parents could easily access it but it was not addressed to any of them so there was nothing stopping him from peaking at what was inside.

Once he had opened it and took out the small notebook that was inside, he had flipped through it quickly and was left feeling surprised.

A small note was left on the notebook which had been written directly to him. "The book was real. As thanks for letting it fall into my hands, I have decided to grant you the parts you may be able to put to use."

His hands trembled a little as he recalled what kind of book he had purchased in the past and how he had lost it.

The book had been briefly looked through by him before he had lost it after he encountered a disguised figure late at night.

It was enough for him to know what kind of book it was and what some of the methods could possibly do but it was not long enough for him to be able to clearly remember them enough to be able to perform them from memory alone.

He had seen the book and skimmed through it before he had purchased it from the store, if it was someone else then they may have put the book back and laughed it off but he had been in that much of a bad place at that time.

If a person was desperate enough for a solution or a way out of their miserable life then they would seek out all kinds of methods even if it was something they held little belief towards.

Some sought of strange cults or weird practices just so they could try to seek out some form of spiritual relief or find an easy way to solve their troubles.

The youth had been outcasted by many in his school and suffered from bulling often in the form of mental and physical abuse.

His home and support system was not so great so he did not get help when he returned home from a hard day at school.

There was usually nobody in his home when he returned and his parents usually came home very late and left very early for work so he rarely saw them before he slept late at night or woke up in the morning.

When he returned home, there was usually ingredients that he could make use of or readymade meals but there would occasionally be some money left for him to order some food or to get something from the shops nearby.

It was very lonely inside his home and the abuse he suffered at school each day continued to bring down his mood and made him feel helpless.

It started small with minor incidents and he had resisted at the beginning but as it had worsened, the bullying became much worse and he had stopped even trying to defend himself.

When someone hit him, he would just curl up or protect his body a little without hitting them back.

When someone came to take his spending money from him, he had started to give up resisting and handed it over before they became more violent.

He was excluded from talking to others and was used as an example for the others of what could happen to them.

It would not have been strange for those who had tried to befriend or help him to be subjected to the same treatment and they would stop hanging put with him after experiencing that kind of treatment.

He could not rely on his parents who rarely saw him but placed high expectations on him and did not listen to his side of the story.

There had been many times when he had tried in the beginning but he was just labelled as a bad child and a thug while being made to apologise to his bullies and their parents.

His parents may have cared for him but he did not feel their love and had mainly experienced how they did not believe in him and were constantly disappointed in him.

It did seem like their time was much too valuable for them to spend it cleaning up after his messes so he stopped causing a fuss at school when he encountered difficulties.

His situation made him feel like dying at times and he had no way to escape or overcome it so once he had seen the book, it was his way of purchasing something that could give him the fantasy of being able to do something about it all.

To have the notes appear after he had continued to suffer without the book to use to vent his frustrations, his emotions had become more unstable and his grip on the notebook had become stronger. "Haha..hahaha real? Real or not.. I have to try."

There was no other information besides the message that had been left behind by Ash so he could not go looking for her or ask anything about what had happened to him previously and what he should do but he had the notebook to give him some guidance.

He grabbed a couple of snacks and went to his room where he started to study the notebook while taking some notes and drawing some sketches to try and replicate what was written within.

There was a vengeful look in his eyes that were focussed on the notebook.

Ash had been tormented by what she had done to him so she had corrected it in her own way by giving him the parts that he could make use of.

She knew that she would be partly responsible for any future actions he would take but it was something that he should have been on the path towards doing if it was not for her intervention.

Fear had taken root within Ash and that had played a small role in her changing her mind as she had given the choice back to the youth on whether he would make use of the notebook or not.

If he used it then it was just his destiny to act that way but if he had decided against it then she would not force it any further.

What she had changed could not be put back to its perfect state without there being some minor differences.

If fate was intervened in then it was difficult to arrange things perfectly to put everything back to how it should be and it was likely that no matter how someone tried to do so, the outcome would still turn out differently.

Ash was aware of that but she could not just leave things as they were after she had intervened with a part of the revelation.

The revelation was her only reliance in the world and she could make use of that information to know future events and to find ways to help herself navigate through the future dangers.

Having one thing out of order right at the beginning that could disturb the whole flow of future events was something that she could not just leave to chance so she tried to correct it and hoped that it would not have that big of an influence over how the future played out.

The hero of the revelation was supposed to get a task to arrive in the school and to solve the problem but if there was no problem at the school then it was likely they would be assigned another task.

They would be assigned a similar task that may have suited their rank as a Balancer but there were always tasks that were under-graded or over-graded.

A task that was too low for the heroes capabilities would not provide a challenge and would not provide a suitable environment for their growth and a more difficult one would put them in too much danger that they could not handle.

If there was no hero to solve many problems and grow strong enough to deal with bigger threats then it would all be up to her to handle and that was not something she wanted in life.

Nobody would be so willing to accept Ash who was a Breaker as a hero and she would suffer many hardships just because of her existence so saving the world while encountering such difficulties was not something she wanted for her future.

If the hero moved according to the revelation or close enough to it then it would be easier for her to plan around it for her own growth and to gain certain opportunities.

The revelation let her know more about the future and that let her have a slight feeling of control over her own fate but having it change due to her own intervention had caused her to become more anxious and question herself if what she had done was in her best interest.


REFLEXIONES DE LOS CREADORES
dancematdan dancematdan

2 advanced chapters can be found on my Kofi page for Reader tier members! Link is in the synopsis. :)

next chapter

Capítulo 28: Grounding and Stabalising

There were many things that Ash was researching and learning just in case of any sudden changes in her lifestyle or if it was needed in the future.

Some were related to ways to better control her emotions and gain a better mastery of her new abilities.

It was better to keep a stable mind during encounters with spirits and to not be controlled by ones emotions.

It was very easy to fall victim to some traps or to be provoked into acting in a way that was dangerous for a Balancer or Breaker by spirits and even by humans.

Watching all kinds of horror movies and other highly emotional films was a way to let her gather more information on a wider variety of things while being able to better control those emotions.

Fear was her strongest emotion that had taken hold of her so watching scary movies had helped her to manage that a little.

Her fears and other negativity that came from her previous experiences could not be treated by a trained professional due to her being unable to expose her identity and other details about her past.

The only way for her to manage what she was dealing with was to watch self help books or to look up more professional knowledge and techniques related to trauma.

What she had found quite useful was that there were several grounding techniques that were available so she had practiced them almost everyday.

Body awareness exercises focussed more on bringing her into the here and now by directing her focus towards the sensations on her body as she performed the steps.

Ash was seated in a chair and took in a breath through her nose over three seconds, held it in for three seconds then exhaled through her puckered lips before resting for three seconds. "Huu."

She repeated that same action five times as she could feel the air entering and exiting her body along with the contracting and expanding of her chest.

Both feet were placed flat on the ground without any shoes being on them and once the first exercise had been completed, her toes wiggled and curled up several times as her focus was on noticing the sensations on her feet.

The next exercise was to stamp her feet on the ground and when they made contact with the ground, she was focussing on the sensations on her legs and feet as they made contact with the ground.

Her hands were clenched into fists and then the tension was released as it repeated ten times.

Both palms then faced each other and were pressed together harder then held like that for fifteen seconds as she paid attention to the tension in her hands and arms.

Her palms were then rubbed together briskly as she noticed the sounds and the feeling of warmth that were made by her action.

Ash reached her hands over her head like she was trying to reach for the sky and stretched out for five seconds.

Her arms were brought down to her sides as she had relaxed and took five more deep breaths.

She was noticing the feeling of calm in her body that had not been there previously. "Ha.."

Grounding techniques usually used sound, touch, smell, taste and sight to connect a person to the here and now.

It often took people away from the bad thoughts they were plagued by or helped them get through a difficult experience they were having.

Those that suffered from trauma usually saw reminders or when they experienced similar situations, they did not handle the situation well and entered a fight or flight mode.

Some completely shut off and had difficulty functioning while others may have gotten violent or ran away in response to such incidents.

A panic attack was a common symptom to be found when most people with deep traumas would be confronted with things that would remind them of those experiences.

Ash did not want to be ruled by her fears and her past weakness and helplessness so she had to seek out some ways of coping.

She was gradually adapting to the techniques and was becoming more familiar with them as she had practiced them almost every day.

Some techniques were more suited to certain environments and situations so that they could still be used at any given time while some required the Ash to find a place to sit down.

Her body had become less tense and more relaxed.

Her breathing had slowed and become very smooth and stable.

Her thoughts had become clearer and less cluttered.

Her emotions had calmed down and soothed.

The previous complicated thoughts and emotions that had plagued her had no longer been on her mind once her attention had been placed elsewhere.

Any kind of soothing, grounding or meditative techniques that could be used and were made available to the public had been tried out by her so that she could understand herself and try to further work on her own issues a little.

Once Ash was finished, she had taken a printout and started to fill it in like any other day since she had escaped the Mental Institution.

A pen was twirled in her hand as she started to circle some parts of the questionnaire that had work and social adjustments on it. 'One to ten.. how affected is my everyday life by my condition? Work? Hmm.. I have no work but I doubt I could handle that kind of environment so just put a six.'

She looked at the next part and looked around the room then saw many left out and unclean plates along with some wrappers and packets laying around her home. 'Home management.. six? Social leisure activities? Nine? Private leisure activities? Four. Family and relationships.. ten.'

Ash went onto the next section. 'I have been thinking of ways to harm myself? Yes. I plan to act on these thoughts? No? I feel safe from harm from others? No.'

She then went on to complete the final parts that asked about her experiences within the past week or weeks to see if she had been bothered by certain things and how often she was. '0 - zero to two days, 1 - three to seven days, 2 - eight to eleven days, 3 - twelve days and above.

Little interest and pleasure in doing things? Two. Feeling depressed or down? Three. Trouble with sleep? Three. Feeling tired and little energy? Three. Poor appetite or overeating? One. Feeling bad about myself? Two. Trouble concentrating? One….'

Ash continued to circle each number until she had looked over them and compared her current one to her previous printout. 'Hmm.. very little improvement but it is better than nothing.'


REFLEXIONES DE LOS CREADORES
dancematdan dancematdan

2 advanced chapters can be found on my Kofi page for Reader tier members! Link is in the synopsis. :)

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