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Narrative ai generated style and somethings just dont make sense my example will be on the train to Hogwarts Hermione barges in like she does but then ron comes in and is like her minder they shouldn't even know each other yet and then later she was i guess listening to there conversation later and barges in again and says something about the sorting hat that is usually a secret to the first years and ron comes yet again to ask why she is talking to slimy snakes yadda yadda like what is going on its like author doesnt care about how or why people do things and i got to there second class and by this point all the Slytherin can cast any spell fist try and only few others not in Slytherin do and it was a fourth year spell in second class what there not even students for one week so yeah garbage book
Revelar spoiler
Characters and dialogue all feel stiff and unnatural. It feels like a group of kid playing make believe Lords & Ladies. Lines are repeated so much its painful. I swear i was gonna lose my mind how many times a chapter was ended with the mc thinking some variation of "The road ahead is difficult but im ready to face all challanges for the sake of my legacy blah blah" I mean its almost every other chapter. The Plot itself is completely flat. It doesnt follow canon really other than a few similar details. (Proffessor quirrel for instance) but other elements like the Philosphers stone or notable events dont happen entirely. Instead, the MC and his group search for some wierd Peverell legacy, kinda reminiscent of Hogwarts Legacy Ancient magic. Im not sure how they even know about it or how they can competently claim a ancient legacy with less than a full 1st year education but they do and its literally pretty simple as finding a secret entrance, all you had to do was look... really the Philosophers stone test was wayyyy more difficult to get in canon than this powerful artifact of ancient magic and somehow, just finding it has a noticeable effect on them all. In short, its an Ai written mess that might have been interesting with maybe a little care and storyboarding perhaps and a shit ton of love and attention. As it is now, its a waste of time. Id probably recommend a shitty translated MTL over this at least you can kind piece together whats going on.
It’s a well written story don’t get me wrong, the world building is excellent, there’s hardly any grammatical errors or punctuation mistakes. It’s feels really two dimensional though, the dialogue is stiff and could do with a bit of polishing to make it feel more organic. Over all, it has promise. Keep updating, writing stories isn’t easy and you’ll get better the more you write.
So this story seems like it has no personality in the characters especially the main characters and seems to be heavily Ai generated. Also nothing really makes this story special or unique and it feels like it is no passion in this story
As the author of *The Last of the Peverells*, I’m thrilled to take you on this dark and enchanting journey through the wizarding world as you’ve never seen it before. This tale delves deep into the untold mysteries of Hogwarts, exploring ancient legacies, powerful magic, and the dangerous secrets that lurk within the castle’s walls. Our protagonist, Alaric Peverell, is a character forged in the shadows of a forgotten lineage, navigating the treacherous waters of ambition, power, and loyalty. Alongside his loyal court, Alaric’s story is one of discovery—of both the magical world and himself. But be warned: the path he treads is not for the faint of heart. It’s filled with dark twists, formidable foes, and moral dilemmas that will keep you on the edge of your seat. While the book is still unfolding, each chapter brings us closer to understanding the depth of the Peverell legacy and the choices that define Alaric’s destiny. With a blend of intrigue, strategy, and a touch of lightheartedness, this story is not just about power but about the bonds that hold us together when faced with the unknown. I invite you to step into this world, where the line between right and wrong blurs, and every choice can change the course of history. Welcome to *The Last of the Peverells*—a story of legacy, loyalty, and the pursuit of power.
Narrative ai generated style and somethings just dont make sense my example will be on the train to Hogwarts Hermione barges in like she does but then ron comes in and is like her minder they shouldn't even know each other yet and then later she was i guess listening to there conversation later and barges in again and says something about the sorting hat that is usually a secret to the first years and ron comes yet again to ask why she is talking to slimy snakes yadda yadda like what is going on its like author doesnt care about how or why people do things and i got to there second class and by this point all the Slytherin can cast any spell fist try and only few others not in Slytherin do and it was a fourth year spell in second class what there not even students for one week so yeah garbage book
Revelar spoiler Characters and dialogue all feel stiff and unnatural. It feels like a group of kid playing make believe Lords & Ladies. Lines are repeated so much its painful. I swear i was gonna lose my mind how many times a chapter was ended with the mc thinking some variation of "The road ahead is difficult but im ready to face all challanges for the sake of my legacy blah blah" I mean its almost every other chapter. The Plot itself is completely flat. It doesnt follow canon really other than a few similar details. (Proffessor quirrel for instance) but other elements like the Philosphers stone or notable events dont happen entirely. Instead, the MC and his group search for some wierd Peverell legacy, kinda reminiscent of Hogwarts Legacy Ancient magic. Im not sure how they even know about it or how they can competently claim a ancient legacy with less than a full 1st year education but they do and its literally pretty simple as finding a secret entrance, all you had to do was look... really the Philosophers stone test was wayyyy more difficult to get in canon than this powerful artifact of ancient magic and somehow, just finding it has a noticeable effect on them all. In short, its an Ai written mess that might have been interesting with maybe a little care and storyboarding perhaps and a shit ton of love and attention. As it is now, its a waste of time. Id probably recommend a shitty translated MTL over this at least you can kind piece together whats going on.
It’s a well written story don’t get me wrong, the world building is excellent, there’s hardly any grammatical errors or punctuation mistakes. It’s feels really two dimensional though, the dialogue is stiff and could do with a bit of polishing to make it feel more organic. Over all, it has promise. Keep updating, writing stories isn’t easy and you’ll get better the more you write.
So this story seems like it has no personality in the characters especially the main characters and seems to be heavily Ai generated. Also nothing really makes this story special or unique and it feels like it is no passion in this story
As the author of *The Last of the Peverells*, I’m thrilled to take you on this dark and enchanting journey through the wizarding world as you’ve never seen it before. This tale delves deep into the untold mysteries of Hogwarts, exploring ancient legacies, powerful magic, and the dangerous secrets that lurk within the castle’s walls. Our protagonist, Alaric Peverell, is a character forged in the shadows of a forgotten lineage, navigating the treacherous waters of ambition, power, and loyalty. Alongside his loyal court, Alaric’s story is one of discovery—of both the magical world and himself. But be warned: the path he treads is not for the faint of heart. It’s filled with dark twists, formidable foes, and moral dilemmas that will keep you on the edge of your seat. While the book is still unfolding, each chapter brings us closer to understanding the depth of the Peverell legacy and the choices that define Alaric’s destiny. With a blend of intrigue, strategy, and a touch of lightheartedness, this story is not just about power but about the bonds that hold us together when faced with the unknown. I invite you to step into this world, where the line between right and wrong blurs, and every choice can change the course of history. Welcome to *The Last of the Peverells*—a story of legacy, loyalty, and the pursuit of power.