Capítulo 59: Answering Order
AN: SO! It has come to my attention that if I want to have more comments in my story I should post more often instead of just in batches.
Thus, I've made a decision to stop posting in batches and instead post whenever I've completed a chapter.
In all seriousness, I'm changing the upload schedule so my motivation won't hit a trough like it did with Septem just as I was nearing its completion.
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I sat on the bed, my legs dangling off the edge, and my feet touching the ground. Ritsuka made himself comfortable on the bed, his head resting on my thighs.
He was lying on his side. His ears and hair were brushing against my thighs, causing a bit of a tickling sensation.
I sat upright, my back as straight as a ruler as I started gently tapping on Ritsuka's head in a rhythmic, comforting gesture as if saying 'I'm here'.
"I spotted… some of Emperor Nero's soldiers raping a girl no older than 14."
Rape? Didn't I decree that anyone found raping would be executed? Even Emperor Nero backed up my decree with her own support.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked softly, careful not to break this room's relative calmness lit by soft night light.
"I… wanted to, but I was afraid… that you would lose the Grail… again if the most optimal time to attack passed by," Ritsuka said, hiccups cut into his words. "After seeing what happened when you lost… the first Grail, I didn't want you to lose another…"
How thoughtful. I started absentmindedly playing with his spiky hair as black as midnight.
"Was it difficult?"
"Very. I feel like the scum of the Earth for not giving justice to those wronged."
From the corner of my eyes, I spotted how Ritsuka tightly balled his hands into a fist.
I remember reading SCP-2000's records on Japan and Japanese culture after selling—solving Daybreak. It was when I was trying to construct a new super culture that would combine the best of the Old World— the time before Daybreak—into a new one. It would be a culture fit for the New World.
The records specified how Japanese culture focused especially on order and hierarchy. As a result, crime rates were especially low. Living such a sheltered life, seeing that rape with his own eyes must've caused Ritsuka to freak out.
I know more than anyone how much of a difference there is between reading about something and seeing it with your own eyes.
Images of that man sitting in a pool of his own blood came to mind. That man killed himself to avoid the Sun's embrace. Only to fall into that Island.
I banished those thoughts back into the recesses of my mind.
"Kuku… tell me please, why do these things happen? What may cause someone to rape another person?"
I looked down at Ritsuka lying on my lap. His lips trembled and his blue eyes desperately cried out for an answer to this question.
"I know… that this stuff happens. But… I can't ignore it now that I've seen it happen with my own eyes. Please, tell me why?"
My lips thinned as I thought about an answer to Ritsuka's question. Rape. The act of nonconsensual sexual intercourse. My mind then brought that time when I was in Site-17 at the bottom of the ocean, when I was fighting against a corrupted SCP-343. 'God' was desperate to know my secrets— he wanted to know how I stayed unaffected by the Sun.
"Believe it or not," I began, "Rape is often not about the act of getting sexual pleasure, but rather it's a display of power. Sexual intercourse is a deeply intimate moment between two individuals, and the ability to one-sidedly determine when this intercourse happens can give the perpetrator feelings of immense power."
I was clinical in my tone with little to no emotions, half-resembling a doctor giving their patient a diagnosis. Such a serious topic demanded this clinical tone.
"However, more related to times of war. Soldiers raping is used as a way of bonding. Even in Rome, rape is seen as a taboo, and breaking that taboo with other soldiers can generate loyalty. Especially knowing you won't be reported for breaking this taboo"
Ritsuka got up from my lap and stared at me incredulously. His jaw hung open, and his eyes stared into my own.
"Personally though, I believe desperation is the source of all sins. Even stuff like rape, that desperate desire for power is what drives them to commit such horrendous acts."
"Personally…? Have you—" Ritsuka immediately clamped his mouth shut with a look of horror in his eyes. Seconds later, his hands fell as he gulped, "Oh god— I wasn't— I wasn't!"
"It's alright." I waved off his concern. "It was simple curiosity. Now, the things that occurred to me may be seen as rape by some people. But I personally didn't feel it like that looking back. It was more of an organism desperately trying to digest me, trying to figure out my weakness so it could exploit it and absorb me."
Not that there was anything to find. I was flawless down to the last cell. The insides of my lungs, intestines, and stomach are even tougher than my skin.
"You don't have to tell me if you're uncomfortable," Ritsuka stated with an uneasy look on his face.
That was when I realized Ritsuka was more uncomfortable about this than I was. Ah, he must still be unfamiliar with this stuff, and now I'm giving him a firsthand account that he's not prepared for.
Completely understandable. No normal person would purposefully listen to such things.
I nodded, consenting to his silent request.
However, morbid curiosity must've gotten a stranglehold on him as the teen then asked me, "Why aren't you angry?"
I thought about my whole journey in the SCP World. I thought about the hatred I felt for the Sun when I returned from space after killing Gilgamesh (SCP-343). That fleeting hatred dissipated after realizing the purpose of the sun transforming all humans into something that's inhuman. 'To be a human is to end up on that island', so he made them inhuman then.
"Understanding."
That seemed to greatly surprise Ritsuka. A look of confusion descended like a curtain upon his face as the teen probably couldn't comprehend how something like 'understanding' could appease one's anger at their horrendous act.
"I understood them. They were desperate. They sought a solution that I wasn't giving them, and so They sought to assimilate me. That willingness to do anything caused by desperation, that's something I'm very familiar with." I spoke with a hint of detachment in my voice, akin to a person talking about an event that occurred far in the past.
Seeing how Ritsuka still doesn't understand it, I placed a hand on his shoulder, "Of course, I don't expect you to understand my point of view. I doubt most people could understand it. But I'll just conclude it with this: everyone has a past that leads them to their present. Don't hate them, pity them. But always be ready to oppose them."
Do not judge them. Do not hate them. Pity them. Feel sad for how their history led them to this moment. Empathize with their struggle. Understand them. But always be ready to oppose them.
"..."
I would be almost an alien to the me that just signed on with the Company.
Ritsuka then placed his hands on mine, which were on his shoulder. He squeezed them, saying, "I… will try to understand your way of thinking, Kuku."
My eyes softened as I felt a smile tug on my lips. Even if he doesn't understand me now, knowing of his earnest attempt makes me feel happy.
I closed in on Ritsuka, embracing him in a hug, "Thank you, that's all I ask for."
The teen's face was smushed against my chest as I had my arms coiled around his shoulder. We stayed like that for a while, before finally parting.
Seeing how his face was completely red, I briefly wondered why that was before a memory slid into the forefront of my mind. Because of how formal everything was in Japan, stuff like hugs must've been for really close friends or family members.
Shit. I hope I didn't just offend his sensibilities. We're not… that close are we?
Immediately, I got up from the bed, saying, "I'll leave you be for now. You must be tired after all that adventure."
While a human might've experienced a bit of leg cramp from sitting in that same position for so long, I felt completely fine.
Just as I was about to leave the room, I heard Ritsuka getting out of bed.
Turning around to look behind me, I saw Ritsuka performing a 90-degree bow.
"Thank you, Kukulkan! For answering my uncomfortable questions."
"You're… welcome?" I replied with a hesitating tone. I didn't see any of the questions he asked me as 'uncomfortable', but I could see where he might be coming from.
After that, I finally left Ritsuka's room and arrived in the sterile, white hallway that reminded me of a hospital. At the edge of my senses, in the periphery, I sensed Archer's presence.
"Hrm…" I had to force myself not to groan. I sincerely hope he's not here to question my motives again.
"What are you doing here, Archer?"
The invisible Servant approached and manifested himself into reality.
He stood by a wall, leaning on it with his arms crossed.
"I sensed my Master in distress. Just making sure that everything was alright."
Curiosity momentarily took hold of me, and I wanted to know the perspective of someone like Archer. "Do you think what he did was right? Keeping that a secret from me, making sure that I wouldn't focus on anything else other than the Grail?"
Even if I already knew the answer, I wanted to hear it from his lips. I desire that authenticity.
"I would've ignored them—"
As expected.
"—it's pointless to punish such things. Such things happen everywhere, it'll be like trying to plug a hole in a sinking ship."
"..."
I looked at Archer with something along the lines of 'Are you serious?' Did I just hear that right? Would he ignore those crimes because they would be 'pointless'?
Didn't he question how I should've saved those slaves during the events of the Septem Singularity?
"What hypocrisy."
A sneer appeared on my face. I gazed upon Archer with a look of disgust. Disgust at how far he's fallen.
I seem to remember Shirou Emiya as a very heroic individual. A Hero of Justice. How far must he have fallen to be the broken, cynical, almost nihilistic wreck in front of me?
"I seem to recall how you were the one who asked me why I didn't save those slaves of the Roman Empire, am I wrong, Shirou Emiya?"
Archer's eyes widened when I uttered that name— his old name that he'd long abandoned after becoming a Counter Guardian. I said that name because it was meant to intimidate, as if telling him 'I know your past, one that you tried to hide'.
Instead of being intimidated, or panicking at the sudden reveal of his identity, Archer simply appeared annoyed. That surprised me greatly. He's not… behaving the way I expected.
"Must you remind me of my old name?" Archer growled out, "If you know my old name, then you must know of my past. And if you know of my past, then you must know of my regrets. And if you know of my regrets… you would know how much of a mirror you are. Just looking at you makes my skin crawl."
A mirror…? What does he mean by that?
"You're not from this timeline. You're the winner of an alternate 2004 Holy Grail War. Afterward, you traveled around the world to help people. But you met an obstacle you couldn't overcome, and so you made a deal with Alaya, becoming one of humanity's Counter Guardians in exchange for overcoming said obstacle."
Archer shrugged and shook his head, "For a Foreigner, you sure know a lot about me." Then, his eyes steeled as his whole dynamic changed. It felt like a person suddenly tensing their muscles before a fight.
"Yet you're wrong about one thing. I didn't become a Counter Guardian just to overcome an obstacle; I sold my soul to the world for my ideals."
"Your desire to save everyone."
"Yes. I am just the absolute worst. I naively believed I could save both the lives of the people trapped by that obstacle and more as a Counter Guardian. But as it turns out, when you sell your soul to the Collective Will of Mankind, you're just signing up for an eternity of being humanity's janitor."
My focus zoomed in on Archer's face the instant he said 'eternity'. Eternity, eternity, eternity. I focused on the microexpressions, the speed at which his heartbeat— every physical sign that might point me towards him lying.
My face softened as I realized Archer wasn't lying. Ah, that's right; after becoming a Counter Guardian, he's experienced an eternity of cleaning up after mankind. An eternity… Anything without end is far too cruel a fate.
Do not judge them. Do not hate them. Pity them.
"Instead of saving people, I was forced to kill them under the orders of Alaya. In the place of 'saving everyone' as I once naively believed, I was forced to take so many lives to save humanity as a whole. To prevent humanity from dying out, I had to kill all humans in a particular location no matter if they were innocent or not. You could be killed by me simply for walking your dog down a street that just so happens to be where the next trigger for World War III is. My ideals shattered. My ideals broke me. My ideals damned me."
Archer gripped his hands tight enough that they were shaking.
"You may question why I'm telling you this story, even if you already know it. You are just as driven as I was back then, willing to do whatever it takes to save others. I wonder, like me, what happens if you meet a threat so great that even you with your current abilities cannot handle it? Who will you sell your soul to for more power? And what would be the price for such powers?"
Feel sad for how their history led them to this moment. Empathize with their struggle. Understand them.
"Will you look back as I do, at the choices you've (I've) made? Will you regret it (as much as I do), for the cost is too much to bear? Will you try to escape this devil's contract (as I do)?"
His words made me think. It made me remember that one time I was flying across the globe after Daybreak had ended, browsing the Smart Device of the Company.
"So all of this conflict was because you don't want to see another version of 'you' arise?"
Across its vast selection of Defenses and Perks, there was a section for Specific Waifu Perks. Only one really mattered since it was something exclusive only for me. I couldn't access it before because I didn't have the funds necessary, but now I do.
The Servant raised his hands to his sides.
"Look into this broken mirror. I am the end result of everyone as driven as you pushed to their brink and over. Look at me as a cautionary tale, of knowing perhaps it's time to give up. That some things are not worth fighting for. There are prices that are just too high."
But always be ready to oppose them.
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Ritsuka woke up from his slumber. As he lay there in his bed, covered by bedsheets, he suddenly recalled how intimate he was with Kuku and instantly felt the urge to cover his face.
"Ugh…"
The teen felt extreme embarrassment from the events following his return from the Rayshift. Even three days after the end of the Roman Singularity, his mind could still vividly recall how comfortable it was, to lay his head on Kuku's lap.
Truly, she has top-tier thighs. It's soft and has a nice squishiness to it, and when Ritsuka lay upon it, it felt as if he was lying upon clouds.
"Oh my god, what am I thinking?" Ritsuka facepalmed to get rid of such perverse thoughts quickly.
Clapping the sides of his face, Ritsuka got rid of any remaining sleep left in his mind and got up from the bed. There, he walked over to the bathroom and continued his morning routine. Namely, brushing his teeth and such.
Spitting into the sink, the teen stood tall and stared at his reflection in the mirror.
"Alright Ritsuka, today is the big day! Today is when you'll summon a new Servant to aid you in the Grand Order and fixing the apocalypse."
The teen exited his room and headed towards the summoning room. As he did, Ritsuka passed by multiple Chaldean technicians running through the numerous hallways.
The rush to make sure everything was alright for the summoning was on everyone's minds. Last minute preparations and checking up on machines aplenty.
After about a few more minutes of walking, Ritsuka saw Mash outside of the room.
"Yo, Mash!"
"Senpai!"
The girl rushed over. Her shoes impacted against the metal floor creating echoes. That echo lessened as Mash slowed down, now much closer to her Senpai.
"Are you ready for the summoning?" Mash asked with a slight tilt of her head, "Everyone is waiting for you inside the summoning room."
Ritsuka took in a deep breath as the weight of what he was about to do fully sunk in.
He's about to summon the spirit of a famous person from the past, taking them away from their eternal rest in order to help with the present.
"Ahhh… Ready as I'll ever be."
Though Ritsuka knew he had no ability to influence who answered the call, if he had a choice the teen would prefer someone like Musashi Miyamoto or Oda Nobunaga— legendary Japanese figures he only read in books and stories.
Entering through the door that led into the summoning room, Ritsuka saw Mash's shield on the ground. The shield itself rested at the center of an occult circle you would only see in horror movies about cultists trying to summon Satan with a blood sacrifice.
Suddenly the teen felt a bit uncertain of what was to come next.
Ritsuka glanced to the side and saw Kuku, who nodded at him, giving him confidence to go on.
"Alright commoner, hold out your hands over the shield and repeat after me," Olga said, "'Let silver and steel be the essence.'"
Realizing that she had started, Ritsuka quickly repeated what she said, "Let silver and steel be the essence."
This chanting continued until several more lines later and Ritsuka noticed how the occult circle that surrounded the shield began to glow as if they were LED lights.
"Let it be filled fivefold for every turn, simply breaking asunder with every filling…"
The circle's radiance reached a crescendo. So bright as to blind all present except save for the Goddess.
Slowly, akin to water leaking out of a broken bowl, the light died down to reveal a new presence in the room.
He was a giant figure, taller than everyone in the room. Much taller than even Goddess. The Servant possessed large muscles with chiseled features and eyes that retained a dazzling glow. The bronze armor paired well with the Servant's red hair and beard.
"Oh, you have done well to summon me! Iskander, King of Conquerors, shall carve out your path!"
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AN: The philosophies and mindset displayed in this chapter do not reflect the author's actual thoughts and opinions. This is not an SI.
Anyway, here is the guiding philosophy Kuku made after everything that happened with Ion. As with all character first-person POVs, there are biases at play here.
I don't think I've ever read an FGO fanfic that used Iskander. Have you guys done so? It's always a waifu-fest with these new Servants (doesn't mean that future Servants won't be waifus). Thus, I feel like he can be a good, refreshing character to use and act as a new foil for Kuku.
Chekhov's Gun has been armed. God, I love this literary device.
Your comments give me motivation. I need a lot of motivation.
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