As the door closed behind Sebastian, the cold and dampness of the basement seeped into my bones.
The small mat on the ground was the only comfort in this stark cell. I sat down, drawing my knees to my chest, and tried to keep this damn stomach from acting down.
"Sigh….."
I couldn't help but sigh, remembering the faces of Father and Mother. I closed my eyes, trying to push away the memories, but they kept resurfacing like a relentless tide.
"….Not letting me go, aren't you."
Their expressions were understandable. I could understand why they had such faces. The situation our family was now in must look like a hard tide.
But it still hurt. Seeing such faces from the people who once looked at me with warmth and love. It was as if a knot appeared right in my heart, tightening with each thought.
After all, it is not like I am a machine. And this week, things have been a lot more hectic. Not even a minute of sleep had passed without nightmares.
The food I had eaten was stone hard and was not for my stomach. After all the time that I had eaten the food of nobles, how could I easily adapt?
The cold floor was unfamiliar as well. This was the first time I had experienced all those things at the same time.
The sense of cold, the sense of feeling like my body was out of power. They were all first. Even now, I feel like I don't even have the strength to move around my body.
'No, Lucavion, don't. Don't give up.'
However, I still must not stop right now. If everything is explained, I am sure someone will understand at least.
If that happens, maybe things can be solved.
'Isn't that right, Goddess Veridion?'
I clasped my hands together. After all, this world. Wasn't there justice here? I didn't do anything wrong. Wouldn't it be god's job to ensure fairness? Is it wrong for me to believe?
CREAK!
As if to let me give the opportunity, the door opened, and someone entered. The presence, the steps taken, everything felt familiar. The scent and other things.
I looked up, and the person revealed herself. It was my mother, Eleanor Thorne, with her hands clasped on her dress. Her expression was as stern as before, but there was a hint of something else in her eyes—something that gave me a glimmer of hope.
"Mother," I whispered, my voice barely audible.
She stepped closer, her eyes never leaving mine. For a moment, the stern mask she wore seemed to falter, and I saw a flicker of the gentleness I remembered from my childhood.
"Lucavion," she said softly, her voice steady but tinged with sadness. "I came to see you."
"..."
At first, I couldn't open my mouth since it had been a while.
It had been a while since someone treated me like normal.
At least now, after all that time, I could see someone familiar. Now, that was the expression of the mother I know.
"Speak."
She looked into my eyes.
I knew I would hardly have such a chance ever again.
I struggled to my feet, my body protesting with every movement. "Mother, please, you have to believe me. I didn't do anything wrong. I don't know how I ended up in this situation, but I swear I am innocent."
She looked at me, her eyes searching my face for a long moment. Yet she didn't say anything, as if to let me explain.
"Mother, it was Isolde. I overheard her talking about it. She planned everything. She and Adrian—" I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "They orchestrated the entire thing. I was set up. I would never do anything to bring shame to our family. You know me, Mother. You know I would never—"
She remained silent, her eyes locked onto mine, absorbing every word I said. I could feel the desperation in my voice, the need for her to believe me, to understand that I was telling the truth.
For the first time in a long while, I could finally open up to someone. Finally, speak to someone to make them understand.
I felt like a dam burst open inside me as if everything I had been holding in finally spilled.
"I overheard Isolde talking about how they needed to get rid of me and how this was the only way to secure their positions. She wanted to bring Elara down, to take everything for herself. I'm not lying, Mother. I'm telling you the truth. Please, you have to believe me."
"I would never do anything to harm our family. You have to know that. I don't know why this is happening, but I swear to you, I'm inno-"
Just as I was about to speak further, suddenly, she raised her hand. "Stop." The voice that left her mouth was cold.
SHIVER!
And I shivered.
Since I can remember.
I felt afraid to raise my head and see the expression on that face.
But I knew I had to.
And as I raised, I saw it.
The look of disappointment.
"After everything that has happened, how can you still blame an innocent young girl? After everything you have done, how can you stand here and accuse her?"
I blinked, taken aback by her words.
"Wh-"
"No, Lucavion," she interrupted her voice firm. "It is you who doesn't understand. Isolde is a frail, sickly girl who has been nothing but kind and gentle. To accuse her of such treachery is beyond reprehensible. I came here hoping to hear remorse, to see some sign of repentance, but instead, you spin wild tales and point fingers."
"Bu-" I tried to protest, but she held up a hand to silence me.
"Enough," she said sharply. "You will have your chance to speak at the trial. For now, I suggest you reflect on your actions and consider the gravity of your situation. This is your last chance to show some honor and take responsibility."
"Why don't you believe me?" I asked, my voice trembling.
She looked deep into my eyes, her gaze piercing through me. "Nobody ever believes the words of a disappointment."
The moment I heard this, my eyes widened. It felt like the world started spinning. My vision blurred, most likely from the tears that my eyes were releasing. It was hard to breathe, let alone say anything. I just lowered my head, looking down.
"Mother..."
But there was no response. The sound of her footsteps echoed as she turned and walked away, leaving me alone in the cold, damp cell. The door closed behind her with a resounding thud, sealing my fate once more.
The tears flowed freely now, hot and unchecked, mingling with the dust and dirt on the floor. The words she had spoken echoed in my mind, a cruel reminder of how I had been perceived.
"Nobody ever believes the words of a disappointment."
That same phrase repeated constantly, not letting me hear anything.
The disappointment of my family, the betrayal of my fiancée, and the looming trial—all of it pressed down on me, suffocating any remaining hope.
I curled up on the small mat, trying to find some semblance of comfort in the harsh reality of my situation.
'Is this it? After everything? Just to hear those words?'
When faced with such words, what would a normal person think? Would they think of what they have done for the things they did?
I am not sure.
But I do, at least.
The things that I did when I was a child.
The amount of time I had spent trying to perfect my mana.
'These hands…'
Even now, there are many calluses on my hands. All of them stemming from the training.
DRIP!
I heard something dripping on the ground.
It was probably my tears.
DRIP! DRIP! DRIP!
Yet it continued to drop, one by one.
Drop by drop.
After a while, I felt like the thing that was dropping was not tears, as they became dry at some point. And it was also hard to breathe from my nose. As I opened my eyes, I realized the thing that was dropping down was not my tears but instead was blood.
It was my nose bleeding.
The sight of the blood made my head start spinning, and then my body fell to the side. The world grew darker and darker until there was nothing but blackness.
Yet, in the darkness, I felt like I had seen a figure appearing.
"Y…..ng...M…..st...L…..c…..io..."
It felt like they were speaking, but I couldn't understand it.
'Not that it matters…..Right…..Can I finally rest a little now….'
I wanted to forget everything, not remember any of these events happening. But was that possible?
Most likely, it wouldn't.
After all, I am sure those moments will still haunt me, even in my sleep.
But, still, is there something wrong with wanting a little bit of a piece?
'I hope not.'
With that, I closed my eyes.
-----------------------
You can check my discord if you want. The link is in the description.
I am open to any criticism; you can comment on things that you would like to see in the story.
Eliza crouched behind the pillar at the base of the stairs, her heart pounding in her chest as she watched the scene unfold before her. She had arrived just in time to hear Lucavion's desperate pleas and Lady Eleanor's harsh rebuke.
"Mother, please, you have to believe me. I didn't do anything wrong…"
Eliza's eyes widened as she saw Lucavion, the young lord she had always admired, pleading with his mother. His voice was filled with such raw emotion that it made her heart ache.
Eleanor's cold response sent shivers down Eliza's spine. "After everything that has happened, how can you still blame an innocent young girl? After everything you have done, how can you stand here and accuse her?"
Eliza could hardly believe her ears. How could Lady Eleanor, someone she respected so deeply, be so dismissive of Lucavion's words?
After all, she knew that even though Lady Eleanor was busy, she was a good mother to her children most of the time.
She was even a good Lady of the house for the workers who worked in the mansion. She rarely talked down to the maids, even if they made any mistake.
But now she was saying such things….It was the first time Eliza saw Lady Eleanor in such a state. For the first time, Eliza was seeing this side of Eleanor.
She held her breath, making herself as small and quiet as possible, praying that she wouldn't be discovered.
"Nobody ever believes the words of a disappointment."
The sting of those words was palpable, even from Eliza's hidden vantage point. She watched as Lucavion's shoulders slumped, the fight draining from his body. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she witnessed his widened eyes.
"What is your name?"
Somehow, she was reminded of the times when she was young.
Eliza remembered the first time she had met Lucavion. She had just been a young maid, learning how to serve tea for the first time. The grand halls of the Thorne mansion had felt intimidating, and her hands trembled as she carried the tray, the delicate cups clinking softly with each step.
She was so anxious. Maybe because of her anxiousness, she stumbled and tackled down, spilling the tea. The hot liquid splashed onto the leg of the lord she was supposed to serve.
She felt a surge of panic. The tea was hot, and she had spilled it on the leg of someone important. The maid beside her immediately scolded her, her voice sharp with anger. "How could you make such a mistake? Apologize to the lord at once!"
Engulfed in fear, Eliza dropped to her knees, her heart pounding in her chest. She expected harsh words or, worse, punishment for her clumsiness.
She had heard of many stories where such maids were punished just because of such mistakes. Some of them were even executed for offending a noble.
Fear engulfed her heart because of those rumors as she imagined her punishment.
She kept her head bowed, tears welling up in her eyes.
But then she heard a gentle voice, a voice that was calm and reassuring. "It's fine. You can raise your head."
She slowly lifted her gaze, her vision blurry with tears. The first thing she saw was clear brown eyes looking into hers. They shook a little, looking a bit blurry.
As her vision cleared, she saw the full face of the young lord. He was young and delicate, with soft black hair that wasn't long but framed his face perfectly. Lucavion.
He smiled at her, a warm and forgiving smile. "It's okay. You don't need to fear anything."
At that time, she hadn't noticed the twitching of his corners and how his hands were clenched on his leg.
How hard he was trying his best to keep himself from showing the pain he most likely felt.
"Nobody will know about what happened here." He said, his eyes looking at the senior maid that would be overseeing her. "Right?"
"Yes, young master understood."
After hearing this, he turned to smile at her once again. "Everyone makes mistakes. What is your name?"
"Eliza," she whispered, her voice trembling. "My name is Eliza."
"Well, Eliza, it's nice to meet you," he said, still smiling. "Don't worry about the tea. It's just an accident."
The maid beside her was taken aback, clearly not expecting such kindness. "My lord, I am so sorry. I will ensure this never happens again."
Lucavion waved her off. "There's no need for that. She's just learning. We all make mistakes when we're learning."
After that moment, when she talked about this moment with her father, she understood what he had done.
"Come here, Eliza."
Her father called her into the kitchen, his face serious. He took a kettle of boiling water and held it over her hand.
"This is what it feels like," he said, letting a single drop of boiling water fall onto her skin.
The pain was immediate and intense, making her gasp and pull her hand back. The small burn hurt so much that tears sprang to her eyes.
Her father nodded, his expression somber. "That's what the young master endured when you spilled the tea on him. But he didn't show it. He protected you instead. Remember that, Eliza. Remember his kindness. And make sure that, when the time comes, you can repay the grace you received."
She nodded, the lesson seared into her memory as much as the burn on her hand. She would never forget the kindness Lucavion had shown her, nor the pain he had hidden to spare her.
That was how it began, and she started watching him. Looking over ways to repay the kindness that she had received.
And as she watched more, it slowly turned into something else.
She came to like him.
But how could she help it? Seeing him play with the cats on his own.
And now, how could she believe that he had done such a thing?
The Young Master Lucavion was something that she knew she had witnessed all the time. Such a person wouldn't even hurt insects, let alone a young girl.
Assaulting a young girl, especially the sister of his fiancée?
Such a thing could never happen.
As she knew, all the time that he had been surrounded by many beautiful people, there had never been a time when his eyes were filled with carnal desires.
Thus, she stood still.
Lady Eleanor turned and walked away, her footsteps echoing in the cold, silent basement.
Eliza stayed perfectly still, waiting until she was sure Eleanor was gone. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and took a deep, shaky breath.
As she waited a little longer, she suddenly heard the sound of a body hitting the ground. Her heart skipped a beat, and she rushed to the source, her mind racing with worry.
She saw him collapse, blood flowing from his nose. "Young Master Lucavion!" she shouted, but he did not answer. She hurried to his side, her hands shaking as she reached for him.
"Lucavion, please wake up!" she pleaded, gently shaking him.
His skin was pale, and his breathing was shallow. The sight of the blood and his unresponsive form sent a wave of panic through her.
"He-Mhmmm…." She was about to shout out loud for help, but then she remembered where she was and what she was doing.
She remembered she needed to keep it quiet. Even now, she had already risked the fact that someone could possibly have heard her voice.
"Ah..."
She looked down, realizing that he was breathing. Though from time to time he flinched and shivered, he was alive. Relief washed over her.
Gently, she sat down and placed his head on her lap, caressing his head to soothe him. His skin was cold, and his breathing was still shallow, but he was here. He was with her.
As she sat there, she couldn't help but think about what would happen to him from now on. What kind of fate would await him? Would he be banished, exiled? Would he be sent to prison? Would he be executed? The uncertainty of his future weighed heavily on her heart.
While caressing his head, her eyes fell on her bracelet. It was a simple but beautiful piece given to her by her mother, who was no longer in this world. That bracelet had always made her feel calm, especially when she found herself in difficult situations.
Looking at it, she made a decision. She would give it to him. It could at least make him feel a little calmer when he was feeling overwhelmed and alone. She knew she could not be with him anymore, but this small token of comfort might help him.
With trembling hands, she removed the bracelet and gently slipped it onto his wrist. "Please, let this give you some peace, Lucavion," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes once more.
She continued to caress his head as she whispered.
"At least, I will believe in you. Though, I am not sure you will be able to remember it."
DRIP!
A small liquid fell down from her face as she looked into his face.
"But, I will still hope that you do."
As she wiped that tear, she gently put his head on the mat.
"Goodbye."
She stood up, walking.
"My first love."
And left.
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