Kapitel 1: So I died...

I hate traffic.

I'm sitting here on a Friday evening after a long week of pulling overtime to make up for my boss' sudden and unannounced vacation and now, after a week of sweat, tears, and a lot of paperwork, I can finally go home and take a nice cold shower and watch the newest episode of my favorite anime 'That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime Season 2 Part 2'.

I've loved that world since I binged the first season and ever since then I have been hooked. The videogame-like power system in the world of swords and magic wasn't anything new, but the way it was fleshed out and all the unique abilities and powers got me so excited.

If I ever get to meet a ROB like in those fanfics, the world I'm going to is Tensura for sure. I could chill out in Tempest living the slow life while casually getting stronger and not have to worry about hardships. Not only that, but Rimuru isn't an insufferable idiot like most isekai protagonists. I could genuinely see myself being his friend.

I am taken out of my daydreaming when the car in front of me starts rolling slowly forward.

'Finally!' I think as I roll forward with them. Of course, being that I'm in gridlock traffic, I only move forward a few feet, but that's all it took for my dreams to come true.

I hear a commotion from several cars ahead of me as I peer out the window in the dark of night. I can't see much due to the glow of all the car's rear lights but after a moment I jolt in shock as I see what was happening.

A rouge tire is rolling down the middle of the street going the opposite way. It's like something out of a Reddit post but it's just coasting along all by its lonesome.

I smile a bit before considering taking a video, but think it'll be all over social media tonight anyways so there is no need to tempt fate or a ticket with that Highway patrol officer behind me. I shake my head and move forward a bit more before hearing a screeching noise.

I look over again to see that some asshat driving down the road in the opposite direction way too fast swerved out of the way to dodge hitting the tire but overturned and is now headed directly towards me.

'Shit' Is all I have time to think before I hear a loud crash along with the crumpling of metal and the shattering of glass. I'm strangely not in pain, all I feel is numb, like that feeling where your leg falls asleep but it's my whole body.

The last thought I have before leaving this world was, 'If I was going to go... I at least wanted it to be truck-kun...'

...

I jump awake after a moment. I seem to have been completely surrounded by some type of white void. I look down and see that I'm wearing white cotton clothes that are very comfortable, white fuzzy slippers, and I seem to be shorter than I was in life.

After a moment of confusion, I snap out of my stupor and begin to almost shake in anticipation. 'It's that cliche! The one where you meet a ROB and get wishes!' I think to myself while being excited before suddenly stopping and thinking hard to myself.

'Wait a minute... why would I meet a ROB who would give me wishes? Even if that does happen, why would an omnipotent and seemingly omniscient being do such a thing? If they are omnipotent and omniscient, then it is impossible to have killed me 'by mistake' and even if, in the completely unlikely event that that is true, they could have just used their powers to reverse time and stop themselves from making the mistake to begin with.

Additionally, even if that did happen, they wouldn't meet with me without reason. They would just read my mind and send me to where I wanted to go without even meeting me. It wouldn't make sense unless they are trying to trick me into doing something for them. Probably entertainment, but then again, most of a person's life is spent doing mundane tasks and isn't exciting at all...' I begin to think myself in circles all the while waiting to see what happens next.

After what feels like an eternity, but what was probably only a few minutes given I was still on that one train of thought, the world around me shifted and I ended up in what looked to be an office of some type.

There were pictures on the walls of beautiful women and children with white wings and golden halos floating above their heads. I was slightly confused, at suddenly being in an angel's office but was knocked out of my stupor when a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair, golden eyes, and a slender build walked into the room. She was wearing what appeared to be white robes similar to what I imagined Jesus would have worn.

She plopped down on the table next to me and extended her hand to shake mine. "Welcome *****. You've died!" She said cheerfully.

My eyebrow twitched but I just hesitantly shook her hand back. "Hello Mrs..."

"Ah! Where are my manners, you can call me Gabriel, and I am a boy." He said.

As I was busy reeling from the shock of actually being trapped for the first time in real life, I heard Gabriel continue.

"So you died. That stinks. But hey, it's time for you to move onto the afterlife and heaven." He said.

I looked at him with incredulity. Sure I was Christian, but it was mostly technical since I didn't go to church or pray all that often, so I was shocked but a little relieved I was at least spared from hell.

"Oh good... I still get to go to heaven and not hell. You had me going for a minute there. I thought for a moment you were going to be a ROB and reincarnate me with wishes or something." I said.

Gabriel looked at me with incredulity before sighing and lowering his head. "Everyone wants to reincarnate nowadays... can't they just be happy with eternal peace and happiness." He says under his breath.

Before I can ask him what he means his head snaps up towards me and looks at me with an intense glare. I'm pretty sure I can't sweat in my spiritual body but I still feel my forehead getting wet.

"Alright then. You'll get your wish. It's the job of the angels to give you the afterlife you desire after all. I'll send you to over to ROB, just... be careful. That guy doesn't follow the rules and will erase you if you become annoying. Nothing I can do for you then." He says as I am suddenly pulled backward out of my chair and out of the room. I feel like Dr. Strange from that one scene as I am hurdling through space(?) before suddenly being stopped dead by falling flat on my face.

"Ugh..." I groan as I get up.

"Oh please, that didn't hurt." I hear.

"I look over to the ball of kaleidoscopic energy in front of me. It kinda reminds me of the Augur of Dunlain from Skyrim if he was a myriad of colors instead of just the floating light blue.

"You get three wishes. Make it snappy. Since you ants started writing isekai fanfics I haven't had a break to actually relax in a while and you are the last client before I get to go home and have the two millenniums off." He says slightly annoyed.

I can feel his pain. Even a near-omnipotent being wants to have his days off.

"Alright then. For my first wash, I want to reincarnate into the world of That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime!" I say.

"Granted, next"

"I want the ancient magics from Arifureta!"

He raises his non-existent eyebrows and nods.

How an amorphous sphere of energy does that is beyond me. I simply 'know' that's what he did.

"Finally... let me think for a moment..." I say before thinking to myself at maximum speed.

I could wish for something like immortality, but I don't want to be truly immortal as then life loses its meaning. If I wish for more wishes he obviously isn't going to give that to me. I don't want a system because they never give out good rewards. It seems like the quest rewards of systems are all minuscule when compared to the severity of the punishments for not doing them.

I also don't want to waste a wish since using Arifureta's Ancient Magics, I can basically do whatever I wanted and get or make any item I wanted.

'Perhaps I should wish for a waifu?' I think before I hear a low groan from behind me.

"That's enough! You're getting the waifu! I don't have the patience for this anymore! Goodbye!" He says as I am suddenly surrounded by darkness as my consciousness fades.

'I feel like I've just been rag-dolled all across the afterlife today! Can't someone give a guy a warning!' I think to myself.

Just as everything goes black, I swear to ROB that I hear Gabriel yelling from the distance "Warning!"