Kapitel 4: 4. Numb

The waves feel more relaxing today. Everyone wants to be part of it. Swim in the middle of summer. There's nothing more delicious than coconut water today. James leans back under the tree, watching her running and playing with water. Dark hair against the white, he loves her chocolate-covered eyes.

"James, come here this is fun." She's screaming at him and waves her hand.

James walks toward her and lifts her. Carry her back to the hotel room. After playing all day long at the beach, he just wants to spend his time with his lover. The nights come and they go out to enjoy the night. Shopping, watching movies, and dinner with the beach view.

The beauty of the moon reflected in the water of the sea. Sparkling just like her smiles, the smiles that always stuck in his mind. Just add wine at the point, and it'll be perfect. James moves to her back. Open the special gift for her. Glow just like her eyes that night. Beautiful white pearl necklaces. Put it in her neck, lift her gorgeous dark hair. Kissed her neck, and whispering softly but sincerely. Short but purposeful word.

"I love you, Christy,"

James wakes up, her sweat dripping from his body. His heartbeat moving so fast, 'what a strange dream'. Tears come out from his eyes, subconsciously. 'What is this? Huh, tears fuck'. Looked at the curtain, sunlight looks so bright behind it. 'What time is it?' Open up his phone, it says 10 a.m. Walking to the kitchen and pick up water. It makes him assured.

Light up the cigarettes, suck it like he sucks the whole world. Open his laptop, and checking to the bunch of emails stuck in there. He didn't know where to starts, there's a lot of interviews. Diana's interview was still stuck in his head. Look in the corner of his desk, Diana card is still there.

'Should I call her? or maybe she's on duty'. He still doesn't dare to call her. Suddenly his phone ring, Ed send him a message. He rushes into the bathroom, left it ringing on his desk. He forgot that he has an appointment with him. They promise to talk about his next project. James was too focus on his personal life.

After taking a shower, he opens the fridge immediately. Hoping there is something to eat, even though it is just leftover bread. James drink his morning coffee and marched to Ed's places. With his jeans and leather jacket drive his BMW full of speed. He knows Ed will be mad if he's late.

20 minutes he waited in his office, can't stop watching at his watch. Ed can't sit still, his heart beating unusually. He has a meeting with his boss in an hour. He's heard somebody running in the hallway.

"You're late," that is Ed's first word when James opened the door.

James can't argue, he looking at the ceiling hope the answer is there- "Sorry, the traffic was so bad. I can't drive with that kind of traffic."

Ed throws something at him, "Don't lie to me, I didn't have much time to clean up your mess. Just quick you already have an idea for your next book right,"

James fell silent, he didn't think about it at all. He didn't plan it because he thinks it will be like another past year. The idea will come to his head.

"I've something in my mind," he answers it with a voice full of doubt.

Ed looked at him, frowning. He still didn't believe what he said, and after what happened at the premiere party he thinks there's something wrong. Ed with his firm stature, keep some deep thought in his head.

"I don't have much time, I'll attend a meeting after this. If you can write that's good. I'll catch up later." He stands up and packs his bag. Pat James's shoulder and walkouts. "But James, there's nothing change if you didn't change it. Maybe, and it's just hypothetically. When there's a moment you can't write an action story, you can also write another. Your love experience maybe."

'Write another story?' James thinks about it for a second, he didn't have a lot of love experienced in his life. In his mind action and sci-fi story is the best. He always thinks that love story is dime and cheap.

Ed leaves him thinking in his empty room. He knows James needs something to change, from now on he can't be the same. James tried to think what story he should write, 'it's good to get over Christy'. He looked at his watch and it says 1 p.m. It's still daylight, he didn't know where to go. He sits in his car and thinks where is the best place to write in this hour.

Today's typical day in the city, busy as well. Drive around the city and he still didn't know where is the perfect place to write. 30 minutes driving around the city, the dark cloud comes approach. James parks his car on the side of the road, he walks to the park. He likes the dark and cold ambiance. Sit on the bench and start to open his laptop.

Action, he writes it on his laptop. Erase it and then he writes, 'Fighting in the. . .' and again he erases it. Again and again, he writes many words but still didn't have an idea. Everything just vanished, for the first time he feels something like this. Numb, he can't feel the imagination. He wonders of himself, lean to the bench he hopes to find something.

'There's must be something right, c'mon James thinks'. He looked at everything at the park. Couple walking and holding hands just like the romantic scene, he still didn't want to write some cheap story. Move to the other side he saw children, playing with their parents. Still didn't have an image in his mind. Usually, everything will come to his head just like a movie.

Looked at the other side of the park. Nothing interesting, tree, bench, fountain, even the skies above it. Dark approaching, it'll be rain today. He almost moves to another place, he already put his laptop back in his bag. Before it happened he sees a familiar face, just a second but it passed through him. 'There she is, Chisty'.