Chapter 40: 40. A Rose By Any Other Name
cuddlebug (n.): a person who enjoys the soft innocence of cuddling and initiates it often
It felt very weird to be sitting in the new Byers' residence without any of the Byers in it. This house had gotten more and more familiar as time went on, but, as Mike is coming to realize, it just doesn't feel the same without their presence here.
It was an overcast Friday in March and Hawkins High had the day off...something about a teacher workday, but he was pretty sure that just meant all the teachers were burned out. Either way, he wasn't complaining, because it meant that he got to drive down to see his girlfriend and his best friend way earlier.
However, much to his dismay, El had to go into the school that afternoon for an exam that would reassure Mrs. Byers that the girl was learning what she needed to know and was on track for potentially going to school full-time next year. El had been studying for it for weeks, occasionally using their nightly calls to ask for his help in whatever subject she was struggling with. It was something that made him beam because he never got tired of helping her.
She was still anxious about it since academic tests were new territory for her, but she was a lot smarter than she gave herself credit for and he had full faith that she'd do great. Sure, he was a little disappointed that it had been scheduled for today, but it was necessary for her to get where she wanted to be and he supported that wholeheartedly, kissing her gently for luck before they left.
Since she was taking it during the school day, that meant that Will was gone too, so that's how he found himself here, alone in the Byers house watching a rerun of an action movie he couldn't remember the name of. They've been gone for about an hour and he's already fading, fast. Spring Break was almost here, so that meant that teachers were trying to finish all their third-quarter material up before then and he was tired. Tired of studying, tired of projects, tired of tests and he'd seriously been looking forward to relaxing down here with El all week.
He'd intended to stay awake until she got back, to hear all about how it went, but he was just so comfy covered in a blanket he'd found, his feet up on the coffee table in front of him and nothing had happened in the movie for a while to keep his attention. And so, he shuts off the television, letting his eyes droop closed, convinced that he'd wake up soon. A power nap, that's all he needed. It'd be fine.
He's dragged into a deep sleep within minutes.
Fabric brushing against his arm gently rouses him and he furrows his brow as he surfaces back to consciousness. He opens his eyes in time to see that the room has grown dim and the edge of his blanket is being lifted by the shape of a girl. She scurries under it to settle beside him and his sleepy heart beats faster as she nudges his arm with her head.
"Hey cuddlebug," he murmurs, raising his arm to wrap it around her shoulders and she hums, snuggling into his side, soft and warm. "How was your test?" She shrugs, tucking her head under his chin after a beat, curling up farther against him and he frowns. "El?" She sighs, causing his arms to rise and fall with the movement. "Tiring. Too many words." Her words muffle as she presses her face to his chest and he suppresses a chuckle at her annoyance. "How do you do this every day?" she continues. "You'll get there," he reassures, his thumb lazily going in circles on her shoulder. "It's more fun when you're actually learning everything, the tests are just the harder part."
"I wish I was as smart as you," she mumbles and his heart clenches, picking up on the defeated tones in her voice easily. "You're smart, El. Smart in ways I could never be. Give yourself some credit, you learned all this stuff really quickly. I've had nine years to understand it. You've had, what, two?" He pokes her stomach playfully and she giggles, curling into herself. "If you keep it up, at that rate, you're probably gonna pass us." The wide-eyed look she gives him is filled with so much hope and he leaves a kiss on the tip of her button nose, enjoying the flush that spreads on her cheeks. "You'll get there, El. Just be patient."
"I'm not good at that." "I'm not either."
When she laughs, he knows she's thinking of all the times he's barely concealed his annoyance over the phone that it wasn't the weekend yet and, consequently, he still had to wait until he could see her again. He was severely impatient when it came to the times they were apart and she thought it was cute, thank goodness.
"Thanks, Mike," she whispers after they've been quiet for a while. "Mmhm, anytime, cuddlebug."
love (n.): A term of endearment that places the entirety of love onto one person
"So...you gave up your lunch so she could eat?" "Yeah, I didn't want her to starve. She needed to eat, El." "I don't want you to starve, though." "I won't, it was one time." "...okay."
"I haven't been to Algebra in days because of it, but I've been getting all the notes from Dustin, so I'll be okay." "Just to make sure Troy doesn't beat up Ian after gym?" "Yeah, who else could protect him?" She has to stop herself from blurting out, "Lots of people." Mike was just being kind.
He's always been so good. His selflessness astounded her and, yes, she knew it was a trait she had as well, but that was different. Mike barely took care of himself as a result. Others were always, always at the forefront of his thoughts and she loved that about him. Except when he forgot to take care of himself in the process.
He overestimated his own strength, and she knew it. He could carry the burdens of others just fine, but they weighed him down in ways that he patched up with the fact that the other person was being lifted up as a result.
So she looked after him the same way he looked after her. Once he stepped over the line of hindering himself, she said something. But anything before that line and she let him use his kindness to do so much good for the people around them.
He'd crossed the line today.
It wasn't a secret in the Party that Will was slowly slipping towards depression. Even though the Byers were back in Hawkins and he was around his old friends again, he'd found himself struggling to keep up with the maturity (or lack thereof) and skill of his peers. They'd tried to restore the piece of his childhood that he'd lost as best they could, but he still found himself pulled towards the artistic and fantasy side of life, using art as a way to escape from the nightmares that still clung heavily to him. As a result, his grades were dipping and he slowly began losing enthusiasm for anything that was grounded in reality.
The Party was concerned. He wasn't shutting them out which was good and he was very honest about where he was at, but they still watched helplessly as he scrambled to keep up with schoolwork and battle the storms of his mind at the same time. They were all doing the best they could, but that wasn't enough for Mike and El knew it.
It was a little easier for her since she lived with Will and got a sense everyday of how well he was doing. She never hesitated to sit in his room with him or curl up in his bed at night if things got really bad and while it hurt to see him when he was sad, at least she was there and doing all she could.
Mike, on the other hand, literally worried himself sick over his best friend.
When he radioed the Party to tell them that he had thrown up and wouldn't be coming to school that day, the rest of them had shrugged it off, telling him to get better soon, but Mike's hesitant explanation that he had the flu set all kinds of warning bells off in El's mind. She'd waited patiently for all their friends to sign off before she told him to switch to their channel, the one the others were never allowed to listen in on. Party rules.
He'd met her there with reluctance and danced around the issue that she was convinced was there until she pinned him with a firm, "friends don't lie."
"Fine," he grumbled. "I worked myself up so much over Will that I puked." Her resolve softened at his admittance. "Do you want to talk about it this afternoon?" "...yeah. See you after school?" "Yes. Thank you for not lying." "Thank you for, you know, caring." "Of course. I love you." "...I love you too."
And that's how she found herself sitting on his basement couch with his head in her lap, his pale face becoming flushed as he talks out his anxiety and she cards her fingers through his hair as she listens to his every word.
"...because I know what it feels like to have almost nothing that makes you happy anymore and it's a really, really bad feeling and it scares me that he's feeling that," he's in the middle of saying and El bites her lip. "It scares me too. Are you afraid that he'll...he'll try to..." "Yeah. I am." The words are hushed and cracked and she nods solemnly.
"You're trying, Mike." "Hmm?" "I think that's all we can do, try and help him. You have to trust that it's enough." "But...but what if it isn't?" His hands flail as he talks and she reaches to grasp one, holding it against her chest as she continues to play with his hair. "What if nothing works and he just gets worse and—" "Mike, he's getting better." She doesn't usually interrupt him, but he's completely lost his ability to see the positive side here. "Yesterday was just a bad day for him." "Yeah, but today?" "Today he's getting better, not worse."
He purses his lips, his brow furrowing and it's quiet as she watches him.
"I guess I just...I feel responsible for him since I'm his oldest friend, or whatever. I should know him best. But I...I don't know how to help him." And that's the crux of it. She can see it in his eyes, how worthless he feels and he'd let it beat him down until he could barely move.
"Mike." He warily meets her gaze. "You help him by being his friend. That's all you can do." "But what if it's not enough?" "Then someone else will help him." He sighs and she swipes her thumb across his hairline. "It's not your problem," she whispers. "Let it go, love."
It works. His eyes soften and his body relaxes, the tension rushing out of his muscles. He uses the hand she had been cradling to bring her hand down to his lips, kissing her fingers gently, repeatedly, until she giggles and cups his cheek.
"You don't have to be strong," she concludes as his eyes flutter shut and he nuzzles into her palm, pressing a kiss there too. "Be here when I wake up?" he murmurs.
"Promise. Always," and his burden lifts from his shoulders as he drifts off to sleep.
precious (n.): a term of endearment that's associated with someone who is lovely and delicate
Mike was surprised that El had made it this far without getting a shot. She'd been on heavy antibiotics for her leg last year so it wouldn't get infected, but aside from that, she'd been relatively healthy, save for a cold here and there. Still, she'd never had anything too serious.
But that was before Joyce had finally enrolled her in Hawkins High. Somehow her missing vaccination records had gone unnoticed the first semester, the business of another school year letting her slip under the radar easily, but they caught it in January as the flu started spreading and someone happened to be looking back through the records.
So, two days before school started back up, Joyce took El to the doctor with Mike in tow, because she absolutely refused to go without him. She initially refused to go at all, but she relented at the fact that she wouldn't be allowed back in school until she got vaccinated.
She was less than thrilled and Mike knew it. It wasn't the needle that scared her. She could handle pain, as much as he hated it. What she couldn't handle was doctors touching her, examining her like she was inhuman, no matter how much they reassured her that they weren't intentionally trying to hurt her or use her. He knew the doctor, which was a plus. He knew for a fact she wasn't out to get El, so at least there was that. But it didn't help that she'd still have to touch her. It was ingrained in her, that fear, but he swore to himself that he would do everything he could to ease her discomfort today. He wouldn't leave her side. That was his resolve.
She's been holding his hand since he climbed into the backseat that morning and he tried to lighten the mood by talking about anything but where they were going, but she only gave him short replies, her smiles strained and her grip getting stronger. When Joyce gently announced that they had arrived, she'd paled, biting her lip and he'd felt her hand grow clammy. He ran with his first instinct and brushed her hair behind her ears, drawing her attention towards him and he'd murmured as many reassurances as he could, cradling her hand before she set her shoulders and dragged him out of the car with her.
They didn't have to wait long in the waiting room since it was way early on a Sunday morning. Thank goodness, because even Mike was starting to feel uncomfortable at the sneezing kids and crying babies around them. "Jane Hopper?" a female voice had called and when they stood, El pressed herself into his side and he let her hand go to wrap his arms around her instead. "This is so you can keep going to school with us, remember?" he whispered to her as Joyce placed a comforting hand on her back. "We'll be with you the whole time, okay? And then when it's done, I'm gonna stuff you with Eggos and we can watch as many movies as you want in my basement," and she pulled back with a smile on her face. He had kissed her forehead for emphasis, and then they were following the nurse down pale yellow halls.
After taking her weight and height, they found themselves seated in the room they'd been assigned, Mike and Joyce in the plastic chairs and El on the exam table, her hands folded and her feet swinging anxiously as the nurse asks her questions about her health. He watches her face closely for any signs of panic, but she gets through the questionnaire well, answering honestly and confidently. Pride shines in her eyes as the nurse swaps with the doctor and he sends her a grin that makes them shine brighter.
"Alright, I know you," Dr. Williams says as she enters, pointing her pen at Mike and he waves. She turns her attention to El. "So, you must be Jane. I'm Dr. Williams, I'll be checking you out today, alright? This will get a little personal, do you want these two to stay here?" Mike feels his face flush and he moves to leave the room, but El shakes her head frantically, her eyes begging him to stay and looks back to Dr. Williams. "They can stay," she says quietly and the woman nods. "Alright then. Before we begin, is it okay if I touch you?" El stiffens and her gaze once again slides to him. He nods, urging her to remember the answer they'd rehearsed the day before. "Yes. But please tell me first?" she requests timidly and Dr. Williams smiles. "Of course, I won't touch you without telling you why or what I'll do, alright?" El's shoulders relax, her features smoothing out and she nods, pleased.
Mike doesn't watch for most of the exam out of courtesy, listening to their casual dialogue, but keeping his eyes firmly on the floor. It's not like any of El is being exposed, but he doesn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. After a few minutes, she's deemed healthy and in good condition and Dr. Williams exits the room after once again shaking El's hand, wishing them both luck in school. When she's gone, El calls his name quietly, patting the table beside her and he tilts his head. "Are you sure?" "Please?" He glances at Mrs. Byers and she shrugs, then nods and he rises, crossing the room to hop up beside her.
"How're you feeling?" "'m nervous." She takes his hand and he can feel how clammy her palm is. "The nurse will be gentle and it doesn't hurt for very long," he tells her quietly, placing his other hand around their joined ones. "I'll be right here, alright?" She nods, her gaze still trained on the tiled floor and she lets her head fall against his shoulder after a beat. "Eggos and movies, remember sweetie?" Joyce says with a smile on her face and he can feel her relax at her adopted mother's words. "Yes. And Mike." Joyce chuckles and he turns pink. "You're right," Joyce says, winking at him.
There's a knock on the door and El startles, sitting up straight, shakily declaring, "Come in," and he squeezes her hand. The nurse from before pokes her head into the room and smiles. "Hello again, Jane. You feeling alright?" El shrugs as the nurse comes to place her kit on the counter and Mike's stomach drops at the sight of the syringe. "Then I'll make this fast, okay?" And then she starts a flurry of motion that Mike can hardly keep up with, pulling out her bright blue gloves, snapping them on her hands, then she's reaching for a bottle and a cotton swab. She unscrews the lid and tips it onto the cotton, the scent of rubbing alcohol tinging the air and then she's reaching for El's arm and El tenses, but before Mike can stop it, her gloved fingers are gripping her forearm and his girlfriend retreats into him, her body going stiff and she whimpers out a fearful, "No!"
"Stop. Stop!" Mike demands and she lets El go. "I'm sorry sweetie, but I have to—" she starts, but Mike interrupts her. "No, you don't understand. She doesn't like being touched unless you tell her you're gonna touch her," he tells her firmly as he folds El in his arms and he can feel her hand clutch at his shirt. He rubs his thumb over her skin where the nurse had grabbed her, rocking her slightly as she inhales and exhales with practiced precision. How this information hadn't been passed onto her, he has no idea.
The woman stands there dumbfounded and she stares sheepishly at his girl, who's calmed down a bit and is beginning to worm her way out of his arms. He thinks she's going to say something, but instead, she resumes the position she was in and slowly holds her arm out to the nurse, grabbing his hand and holding on tight.
"I apologize, Jane. Are you okay if we try again?" she says softly and El nods. "Okay, I'm going to steady your arm so I can clean it with this," she holds up the cotton ball, "and then I'll keep my hand on your arm as I give you the shot. I'll make it fast, okay?" "Okay," she responds quietly and barely flinches when the nurse gently swabs her arm. As soon as El sees her reach for the needle, she bites her lip and turns her face towards him, pressing her head against his shoulder and he rests his forehead against her hair. "It's okay, El, you're doing great, don't worry, okay? I'm right here—" She sucks in a breath and whimpers and he squeezes her hand tight, words continuing to spill from his mouth. "Keep breathing, okay? I've got you, precious, you're almost done." And then it's over and El's letting out her breath and Mike's kissing her head. "Great job, El, I'm so proud of you," Joyce says and he jumps because the voice comes from right beside him and he realizes he'd been so wrapped up in El to see that she had moved. "All done!" the nurse chirps and El smiles warily at her as she places a band-aid over the dot of blood on her arm. "All done," she whispers to herself, so softly that Mike barely catches it. "All done."
babe (n.): a nickname for one's significant other
She was uncomfortable.
She'd seen this boy a handful of times in the hallways and she'd picked up on enough social cues to realize that he was a jock. The football jersey, the smirk, the way girls batted their eyelashes at him. Though she firmly believed in not judging based on appearances, something about him was making her uneasy.
He'd struck up a conversation with her while she saved her and Mike a spot in the lunch line. Nothing too personal, just stuff about how her classes are going and how she's adjusting to Hawkins High (even though she was now a junior) and she answered his questions sincerely, seeing no reason not to talk to him. He was nice, at least. Didn't seem to be trying to hit on her or dig a secret out of her, unlike most of the boys she'd encountered in her school career so far. Still, she's always been wary around strangers and is struggling to believe that he doesn't have ill intent, so she plays it safe, polite.
She's in the middle of telling him about how much she enjoys her History class when Mike comes back from claiming a table for them and she knows he's there, because his fingers suddenly brush hers, intertwining them once she recognizes his touch.
The jock's eyebrows shoot up and El feels her guard come slamming back down, her chin already tilted slightly in defiance. "Huh, so it is true," the boy quips, his eyes on their hands. "You really did settle with Wheeler." He looks confused and El hates it, especially hates the breath Mike sucks in next to her. "You know...you could do better, right?" he continues, looking like he's waiting for her to tell him that this is just a joke.
But it's not a joke and it will never be a joke, her and Mike. He's wrong. She didn't settle for anything, if anything he settled for her. She found the boy of her most wildest dreams and why that isn't obvious, she has no idea.
"I will love who I want," she tells him strongly. "I couldn't do any better than Mike and I'm lucky I have him. I love him, is that so hard to believe?" She squeezes Mike's hand for emphasis, leaning her head against his arm and the boy looks taken aback, probably not expecting such a definite answer. Who would? She's seen what other high school relationships are like. And she's so glad that she and Mike are different.
"If you say so," he finally says, shrugging in a way that lets her know he doesn't entirely believe her. "See you around, I guess." The look he shoots Mike as he pushes past them is so condescending, she has to restrain herself from calling him back and slapping him across the face.
Mike's not fairing any better and she glances up at him to see his face has gone dark, his jaw set, but she can see the flashes of insecurity in his eyes as he watches the jock walk away.
"Mike," she says quietly, tugging on his hand. He doesn't respond and she frowns, watching him watch that guy. "Mike," she tries again and he grunts, still refusing to make eye contact with her and she sighs.
"Mike, babe. Snap out of it." That gets his attention. He whirls to look at her and his eyebrows shoot up with what she thinks is hope. "Babe?" he repeats and she nods. "Yeah, babe. It means you're mine and I don't want anyone else."
The grin that spreads across his face is big and beautiful. "You mean it?" he murmurs, his gaze dropping to her lips and she has completely forgotten that they're in the cafeteria line. "Yes, Mike. I mean it." She stands on her tippy toes to peck his lips twice and pulls back to see the wariness in his eyes has turned to shining admiration. "You're the best, babe," he says, trying it out and her heart flips at the delicious way it sounds coming from him. He wraps his arm around her as the line starts to move and they completely disregard the eyes on them, knowing their love would always be worth the judging stares.
"El?"
She hums, not really expecting him to hear her from her place in their bed. He'd just gotten home from his late night at work and she'd taken advantage of the time to lose herself in the climax of the novel she was working her way through. The light from the lamp was soft and the blankets around her were warm and she would get up, she really would...but this was nice and him being in here would make it even better.
"El?" He tries again and this time, she sees his head poke into the room out of the corner of her eye and again, she hums, completely distracted by the showdown between the brave heroine and the villain of her story. "Ellll," she hears again, his voice sing-songing her name and she doesn't even bother responding. The villain is drawing his sword...
"El, my darling, my love, my life—" "Mike." He moves swiftly, crossing the room and crawling onto the bed. "—my perfect angel, my teddy bear, my everything—" "...Mike." He flops next to her, poking her arm and she rolls her eyes, suppressing a giggle. "—my beautiful, charming, wonderful—" "Mike!" Without hesitation, he wraps his arm around her waist, burrowing his head under her arm and snuggling up to her side so she can no longer see the pages over his black fluffy hair. "—gorgeous, lovely, incredible wife."
"...what." He smiles up at her, innocent and adoring. "Hi."
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone