Chapter 22: 22. Geometry
El can't remember the last time she did her homework alone.
Their sophomore year, it became an unspoken ritual to pile into someone's basement every afternoon to chip away at their growing stacks of worksheets and packets and reports, probably because as high school got harder, the Party grew stronger. I know, sounds impossible, but the six of them were bound to each other in unexplainable ways.
What's even more surprising is they worked diligently and were able to focus, even though they were surrounded by their best friends. Not much was said, unless someone had a question or needed to take a break. It's not like they ignored one another, they were always very much aware of who was in the room with them, but they tended to put themselves in their own bubbles, determined to finish everything as soon as possible, with the goal of being able to hang out that night.
Which is probably why, when El set down her pencil and dropped her head into her hands, Mike was really the only one who noticed.
It's Monday afternoon and she's wishing Geometry was never invented.
It wasn't a secret that math wasn't her strongest area. She had been struggling with Geometry since the beginning of the year and had come to loathe the subject. Too many formulas and numbers and shapes clogged her brain and she had gotten the idea a little while ago that she'd never be able to remember it all, resulting in a class that frustrated her to no end.
But still, she refused to ask for help. Her friends had offered multiple times, but she always declined politely, claiming she wanted to figure it out on her own. Which was actually true—she had taught herself enough to get to this point and she didn't want to stop now. Plus, at this point, Max was in College Algebra and the boys were in Pre-Calc, so a small part of her felt bad that she was struggling with concepts that had become second nature to them.
The proof in front of her sits halfway finished, even though she's read and reread her notes countless times. Still, none of it makes sense and she's starting to be convinced that it will never make sense and she's gonna fail this class and Hopper will be furious and he'll take her out of school and she'll never get to see her friends agai-
A hand lands on her knee. "Are you okay?" Mike's tender voice asks as she lifts her head up. She stares down at the paper in front of her feeling dejected and sighs when she feels him rest his chin on her shoulder, his cheek pressing against hers. Making no move to stop him from looking over her work, she rests her forehead against his hair, not wanting to look at what's in front of her for a second longer. If their friends take notice of what's happening, they say nothing as Mike begins to gently point out her minuscule errors. She grounds herself in his soft voice, listening more just to hear him than to figure out the problem. She knows she should probably be paying attention to what he's saying, but she just...needs a moment. When he's done she glances back at the piece of paper and reluctantly picks up her pencil. Her cheeks flame as she bashfully asks him to explain it to her again, vowing to listen this time. He agrees without a second thought and as he walks her through what to do again, his hand begins lightly scratching her back, a technique that always calms her down in any circumstance and he knows it.
She follows along with his instructions tentatively and step by step, the problem solves itself. And yet, she knows she did nothing, just wrote down what Mike told her to without comprehending any of it. "I'm sorry," she whispers and somehow, miraculously, he translates that as "I'm sorry I don't understand this." "Why don't you move on to something else, okay?" he tells her quietly and she finally nods, putting the paper back in its folder.
Stupid Geometry.
Despite Mike's gracious instruction, she still finds herself not quite catching on in the class, as if there's one piece of the concepts she's just missing and it's screwing up her whole understanding. And second semester is almost over. There's such a short amount of time to figure all this out, but the one thing that she keeps repeating is her friends are here. Mike is here. They can help her. They're gonna help her. It'll be okay.
But as much as she hates to admit it, having someone in the class she can also rely on for help would be nice. She can talk to the teacher just fine, but his directions aren't the easiest things to follow, using words she's never heard before that she's too afraid to ask the definitions of. Her classmates aren't horrible, but they're not Mike. Or Dustin. Or anyone in the Party. But if she really wants to pass this class, they'll have to do.
She's not thrilled at the prospect at actually having to talk to the people in Geometry with her, but during a work day, she finally worked up the courage to ask the person sitting across from her for help, since she'd witnessed them answer questions from the teacher faster than she could even comprehend said question.
And thank goodness she asked this person for help, because by the end of that class period, she felt like she had learned more in an hour than she had the entire school year.
—
Mike wasn't exactly excited when he opened his lunchbox that day. It's not like he minded leftovers, but this lasagna had to be at least a week old, leftover from the church potluck his mom had attended a while back. But, he's starving and he reluctantly starts shoving it in his mouth as the lunch bell rings and his friends start piling onto their lunch table, chatting enthusiastically about this and that. He launches himself into their discussion, always eager to participate, until a pair of arms wraps around him from behind and he feels a head rest against his.
"Hey El," Lucas immediately greets her, but by the looks on his friends' faces, he can tell she isn't in the best mood right now. He places his hands over hers and is about to turn to ask her what's wrong, when she whispers, "Can we go somewhere that isn't here?" into his ear as she tightens her hold on him. He nods immediately, hoping that whatever happened didn't hurt her too badly as he finishes chewing his pasta. "We're gonna go," Mike tells the party in a tone that signals that it isn't up for discussion. Not like they would object anyway, they know how much she needs him and vice versa. Packing up his lunch, he slings his backpack over his shoulder and takes her hand as she tugs him outside.
Thankfully, the April sun hasn't coaxed too many of their classmates outdoors yet, so the big tree that sits at the far end of the lawn has yet to be occupied. The shade underneath provides relief as they settle down on the grass, criss-cross applesauce, facing one another. But they could be frying in the sun and he'd still be concerned about what's making her so upset today.
"Geometry or Biology?" he asks when he sees she's struggling to find what she wants to say. Those are the only two classes she's struggling in and judging by her expression, he's guessing this has something to do with academics. She shoots him a half-hearted smile, before responding with "Geometry."
"Okay, well, what was the concept? You know I would be more than happy to help you figure it out," he tells her, hoping to ease her anxiety.
But to his dismay, she shakes her head. "No, Mike, it's not about...the class." He cocks his head and waits for her to continue. "I...I made a new friend," she finally admits, glancing down at her hands.
Okay, now Mike is really confused. The fact that she's branching out is awesome, so why does she look so burdened by this new development? "El, that's great! Who is it?" At his words, she bites her lip and Mike feels his stomach start to sink, although he can't place his finger on why.
"Jeremy. He's helping me," she mumbles, so quietly he almost didn't catch what she said.
Almost.
Oh. It's a boy.
Taking his position as El's tutor, the one that brings Mike so much joy and now El will never want to ask for his help and she'll stop being curious around him and never ask to hear his explanations ever again-
He shuts down that train of thought real fast as he sighs, running a hand through his hair.
"Please don't be mad, or...or jealous," she says hurriedly, honestly sounding like she's about to cry. "I just needed more help and he sits next to me and..." "El, calm down, I'm not mad at you," he tells her, not quite meeting her eyes. "But you're not happy."
This is true. He's not. And when he glances up again, she's looking him expectantly, albeit it a bit worried. So he starts talking. And once he starts talking, he doesn't stop, knowing she'll listen graciously, thank goodness.
"If I'm being honest, I've always kind of felt bad that you're stuck with us," he starts and she cocks her head to the side, opening her mouth to refute him, but he keeps going. "The party...we got to choose each other. We became friends because we wanted to. Out of all the kids in our school, we found each other because we all liked the same things and our personalities work so well together. You...you never had that choice. We only met out of pure luck and sure, it makes sense that you would stick with us that week, because...well...you were scared and running from...from them. And then...and then those horrible 353 days happened and you came back to us and...and you had no obligation to be with us anymore."
'What am I saying?' his mind whispers as he says things that have been buried by the reassurance that she truly does care for him. 'The truth,' another part of him whispers back.
"You could've gone out and made friends and found people you like better than us, because, El believe me, there are so many people better than us, and you have every right to, because no one gave you the opportunity to make friends the way you're actually supposed to make friends.
And I know it's stupid, but I keep realizing that it's possible that you find some other kids that you actually want to be friends with out of your own free will and you'll join their group and leave the group of nerds that helped you for just one week. You deserve better than us, El. And I know I shouldn't be jealous, or mad, because you're not my property-" "But you're my boyfriend," she interjects, and he shrugs, before continuing. "But that doesn't mean you have to be trapped to just me and the Party. I want you to go out and meet other people and ask them for help on your math homework and not have my personal feelings affect your decisions. I want you to make friends normally. With people...people you'll probably like better than us...who will benefit you more than us..." he trails off and refuses to meet her gaze, his face flushing and his heart racing at the thought of the scenario he's describing.
He hates this. He hates admitting how little he can control her finding other smarter, funnier, kinder people. But he forces himself to keep going. "So...so don't let us tie you down, okay? Don't let me hold you back. That's the last thing I want to do. I'm always gonna be yours no matter what you do even...even if you don't want to be mine all the time. I just..." he pauses, realizing he's reached the end of his thoughts. "I'm sorry, I know none of that probably made sense and...and didn't really have a point. We...we can go, I'm sorry, I won't keep bothering you about this, I'm sure Jeremy's great," he mumbles and rises to his feet, reaching for her hand, intending to help her up, his heart still pounding madly.
She grabs it and tugs on it, not moving from her spot. "Sit," she commands and he does. "I know what you're gonna say," he says as he plops back down and she raises her eyebrows challengingly. "You're gonna say you're friends with us because you want to be and I should stop worrying about you going away, because all you did was find someone to help you in math, but you also want to make other friends."
She's quiet, taking his hand into her lap and delicately playing with his fingers as she shakes her head with a small smile. "You're scared." It's not a question, it's a blatant statement. And it's absolutely true. He blinks, before responding. "Yeah, yeah I'm scared. I'm...I'm absolutely terrified you're gonna leave us. That you're gonna leave me. Because I'm never, ever gonna let you go. And I'd spend the rest of my life pleading with you to come back...I know, I sound so clingy, I'm sorry El, I don't know why I'm telling you all this."
"Mike." "Yeah?" "Stop." "Stop...?" "Stop being scared. Trust me." "But how can I just...stop, when I know how easy it would be for you to walk away?"
Before he can process what's happening, she darts forward and her lips land on his and she's kissing him fiercely, leaving his head spinning and his heart thumping wildly, now for a completely different reason.
"I stay with you because I can and there's no one who can be all that you are. Jeremy is helpful, but he's not you. Trust me every time I say I love you."
A two minute rant from him dissolves with a ten second statement from her. His forehead falls against hers, and she accepts it gladly, skimming her fingers up to the nape of his neck. "I'm gonna make friends, Mike. But I won't make best friends. And I'll never, ever get another boyfriend."With a quick peck that turns into three more, he feels at peace, no longer worried that she's going to just disappear because she found someone nice to ask for help. At least her resolve to attempt the class on her own has gone away. He resists the urge to beat himself up for not coming to that conclusion sooner, knowing that would be pointless and loses himself in her swirling chocolate eyes instead.
They spend the rest of lunch outside, taking advantage of the time alone together, something that school makes almost impossible. They let their worries melt away as they talk about anything they feel like talking about and their antics are nothing short of adorable. In between shared complaints of boring teachers and stories of how home life is going, he feeds her spoonfuls of his yogurt and she rewards him with feather-like kisses all over his face as he grins like an idiot.
When the bell rings, signaling that it's time to go to class, they're both reluctant to leave one another and they're noticeably more clingy as they throw their trash away and head to their lockers. So much so that when she leaves to head to her art class on the other side of the building (but not before a long, lingering kiss that sends sparks down his spine), Will and Lucas immediately ask what's up with her and what they had talked about as they walk to their science class.
"She's just still stressed about Geometry," he explains. "It's really beating her up. They've got a test in a couple days and she doesn't feel prepared and she's frustrated about it." "Oh...well, is there anything we can do?" Will asks and Lucas looks at him expectantly.
"I think she needs all the help she can get," he admits, knowing that El, while not a fan of their friends knowing her weakness, could use a group of people rallying behind her, even if that group has to include Jeremy.
Lucas has been silent, but suddenly he speaks up as they walk into their classroom and dump their bags by their desks. "The test is on Friday, right? What if we dedicate Thursday's homework time to helping her study? We could get our homework done during lunch so it could be all about her," he suggests and Mike is on board right away. "Let's do it. We can talk about it this afternoon," he declares, before the bell rings and their teacher starts handing papers out.
Dustin and Max show support immediately when Will casually brings the idea up later, but El is resistant, as Mike knew she would be. She insists that she's fine and that they don't need to give up their time just for her, but when he gives her a pointed look to let her know that they know she's not fine, she agrees reluctantly, thanking them with a small smile on her face.
Thursday afternoon rolls around and the Party found themselves on the basement floor, surrounded by textbooks, worksheets and more flash cards than they could count. Snacks are piled high around them as they listen to El explain what she understands just fine and what she really needs help on. From there, they build up a study plan that they maintain for the rest of the afternoon, quizzing her on different theorems and trig identities and whatever else she asks for help on.
And it's fun. To the surprise of everyone there, they're actually enjoying themselves as they keep the mood light-hearted, teasing each other for not remembering anything from this class, coming up with ridiculous ways to remember the concepts that made her giggle and soon, their study session is a game. Get five right in a row and she got an Eggo, get ten right in a row and she got to kiss Mike (though she ended up doing that anyway), recite something faster than Dustin can and he'll give her a piggyback ride to all her classes the next day, the list goes on and on.
By the end of it, they feel confident their friend is prepared, but before she goes home, they all make sure she knew that this one test grade wouldn't define her. They want her to crush this test, but not so much so that they'd be disappointed if she didn't. After they wish her good luck, since they won't see her until after she took it, she goes home and the rest of them high-five each other, happy they could provide assistance to a party member.
Mike isn't worried about it in the slightest. She's got this and he's so proud of her. Tomorrow's gonna be a great day, he reassures himself as he slips into bed.
It was a completely ordinary morning for him. El was going to go in early to review her notes with the teacher, so he met the rest of his friends outside by the bike rack and they entered the building as a group, just like they always do. His first three classes were nothing super special and he finds himself happy to be relieved of the monotony of the day by the time their fourth period lunch rolls around.
His thoughts suddenly flicker to El as he collects his R2-D2 lunchbox from his locker and he prays her test went well. He's so excited to see her and congratulate her on finally doing the thing she's been dreading that when he spots her curly hair through the sea of students, he thinks he's just seeing things.
But when he catches a glimpse of her face and his entire world screeches to a halt, he knows this has to be real.
All sound simply fades out and he's left with a silence, a muffled silence. He only vaguely registers his breathing hitch and his heartbeat speeding up, because only one thing matters right now.
She's crying. El's expression is one of defeat and anguish and it rips his heart right in two. She's shuffling towards his locker, weaving in between people who have just become obstacles at this point, and trying desperately to hide her tears, swallowing them back in, refusing to admit her vulnerability until she's reached him. But he can see right through the mask she puts on for the world, because only around him does it come off. The high school hallway no longer exists, his vision has tunneled, the lunchbox in his hands long forgotten.
As she gets closer, the backpack on his shoulders slides off seemingly at its own accord, hitting the ground at his feet, the thud lost under the racing of his thoughts. It's a subconscious move—knowing that embracing her, enveloping her fully with no obstructions, just him and nothing else, is what she's seeking.
Dodging the last student oblivious to the world around them, her books spill onto the floor, falling out of her arms without a second thought. Her gaze locked with his, her composure crumbling step by step, she rejects her backpack as well, slipping out of it half-heartedly and letting it join the rubble at their feet.
His arms have been open for her the second he met her eyes and she falls into them with the tiniest of sobs. He has a feeling he knows what made her so distraught, but he doesn't even think of getting what happened out of her, knowing how fragile his girl is. They stand pressed up against one another as he holds her in the tender, comforting way she needs to be held in while her world falls apart. Heads on shoulders, chests flush against the other, arms tight, secure, warm. He loses track of how long they stand there, oblivious to the hallway around them, oblivious to the material things at their feet, oblivious to the high schoolers and teachers that just don't get it.
And even when he thought she was starting to calm down, another wave of tears would wash over her and he'd gently guide her head further into the crook of his neck as she held onto him like he'd disappear the second she stepped away.
He squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to keep his own tears at bay (a task that the broken nature of her muffled whimpers makes very difficult) and when he opens them again, his gaze lands on the schoolwork strewn about at their feet.
His eyes flicker to her Geometry folder and, peeking out of it is what he can only assume to be the test they had just taken. But what surprises him is that, written at the top in an authoritative red pen is a large "B-".
"El?"
Her only response is a timid cry and he drops his lips to her ear so she's the only one who can hear him. "You know a B- isn't bad, right? That's above a passing grade and I'm sure-"
Her voice is low and shakes unbearably as she cuts him off. "I had the lowest score in the class. Mr. Johnson even said so. And..." At this point, she nearly crumples with the weight of her sob and he has to concentrate on keeping her upright. "And...and J-Jeremy..." He can't help it. His blood starts to boil and he grips her tighter. "Jeremy said he was di-disappointed in m-me."
She hates humiliation from adults. She had to put up with it for twelve years. But humiliation and utter disappointment from people her own age? It breaks her in half.
Ignoring how badly he wants to hunt Jeremy down, he instead focuses on bringing comfort to the girl in his arms in every way he knows how. He scatters kisses on her forehead, on her temple, on her cheeks as his fingers play softly with her hair, letting his actions do all the work, knowing there are no words on earth that could fix this moment.
What Mike doesn't know is their friends have come looking for them by now and have stopped short at the solemn sight before them. Nervously, they exchange glances, knowing full well what this is probably about and it pained them to see how upset she was.
It's Dustin who steps forward first. El's cheek is against Mike's shoulder and he makes sure to be in her line of sight so he doesn't scare her, before wrapping his arms around two of his best friends, resting his head against her shoulder. She hiccups slightly at his touch, but shows no signs that she's uncomfortable and he swears he feels her body relax, if only marginally. Their friends are quick to follow, Will going to the other side of the couple and embracing them tightly. Lucas comes to wrap his arms around the shoulders of Mike and Dustin, his hand resting on El's back comfortingly and Max mirrors him, embracing Will and El to complete their group hug.
Not a word is said, save for El's mumbled "Thank you" as she continues to cling to Mike, but every one of them can read between the lines and knows how much she appreciates their actions and the effect being wrapped up in the arms of her five favorite people has on her. They stay there in their little cocoon, offering all the love and support they can to El in the middle of the high school hallway for what seems like forever as they let time pass around them.
Later, as the Party is gathered in Dustin's basement and El is curled up to Mike's side, they'll spend all the time they need to patiently explain how little grades actually matter and how stupid it is that they let a letter define you. Their reasoning and logic will put things into perspective and they'll slowly pull her out of the hole she's fallen into.
For now, she's still at rock bottom, but she can finally see the ladder her friends have dropped to help her start climbing up. She doubts she'll ever be able to repay them for everything they've done for her and how wonderful every one of them is.
So she accepts their love graciously, knowing they want nothing in return. Something inside of her shifts and she no longer sobs out of misery, but her soft tears are for her friends. They're for the Zoomer, the Ranger, The Bard, the Cleric. And the Paladin that the Mage fell in love with.
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