Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Lance was still in mourning three days after his confirmation of Cara's hatred for him. If she still hadn't told his mother about what they.. he.. had done, then perhaps she never would. But that didn't stop him from regretting his actions that evening. He spent two days trying to figure out what he could have done differently. It was on the third day that he realized that there was nothing he could have done differently, but one thing he should never have done: going to her house for no sensible reason. One thing he knew though was that he owed her an apology, but when would he ever have the chance to deliver it?
**
His eyes on the ground, Lance was focused on kicking anything and everything in sight as he approached his home. He had just finished playing in a high-stake tennis match which he had lost 6-0 6-3 to a neighbor and longtime rival. On a good day, he would have easily floored Dennis, but the whole situation with Cara had completely thrown him off form.
He spent every waking minute thinking, at first, what he could have done differently and later, why he had decided to visit her in the first place. It was affecting him deeply and he couldn't focus on anything else for long. He felt like a rapist who had taken the virginity of a minor by force. Even though she had later gotten into the game, he still could not convince himself that she submitted not because she felt like she had no choice. At times, he had visions of himself sitting in a cell with his head in his hands while the prison guards slammed the cell gate shut.
He kept kicking as he traversed the lawn, heading for the front door. Pebbles, loose grasses, loose earth, anything.. he kicked them out of his path, imagining that he was kicking himself for his sins. His eyes were focused on the ground, so he didn't see the woman that was coming out of the house. His route was perpendicular to hers and he didn't watch as he kicked a particularly heavy pebble her way, which hit her on the shin.
"Ouch!", she exclaimed.
"Oh. Mrs. Holden, I.. I'm so sorry. I.. I swear I didn't see you coming."
"It's okay," she said quietly and hurried off on her way.
Lance watched as she rushed off, knowing that this was perhaps a chance that would never come again. He had to seize it!
"Cara," he called, his voice croaky and shaky.
At the sound of her name, Cara Holden stopped in her tracks, but she didn't turn around. She hadn't stopped voluntarily. If it were left to her, she'd have kept going. But somehow, it seemed that her legs had a mind of their own. When no other sound came from behind her, she started to feel her legs respond to her orders.
"Cara, wait... please," Lance pleaded as he rushed up to her.
He didn't even look back to see if anyone was watching. When he reached her side, he quickly licked his dry lips, oiling them for smooth, fast action before she'd get tired of waiting and walk away. "I.. uh.. I wanted to apologize for what happened tha.. that evening. Umm.. I don't know what came over me."
Cara's face shot up to meet his, then she quickly lowered it. But that brief glance was enough for him to see that it was a look of surprise. Did she think he would never be sorry or never apologize? Had she already told his mom? Was that why she was here?
"It's okay. It's in the past," she mumbled.
"Umm.. did you.. tell my mom?" Lance had to know. But the few seconds it took for her to answer the question felt like an eternity to him as his heart hammered against his ribcage in fear.
"No," she finally said, eliciting an involuntary sigh of relief from him.
With that, she hurried off again. He put out his hand to stop her, but wisely stopped himself in time and simply stood still as she got into her car and zoomed off.
**
Cara breathed a huge sigh of relief, in fact, two huge sighs when she had finally put considerable distance between herself and Lance. To be frank, she had never expected an apology from him. She had expected him to be bragging to his friends, and anyone else who cared to listen, about his conquest.
When Carol had earlier asked to see her, she had half a mind not to go. She thought the older woman had gotten wind of the matter and wanted to give her a tongue-lash and a warning to keep her slutty hands off her son. She had walked into the sitting room like someone going to the gallows. But it turned out that Carol had heard nothing of the matter and had only wanted to get her advice on some suits. So while she was laughing and congratulating herself on her wit in getting her friend to come over on such short notice and for such a trivial issue, Cara herself was trying to take in as much air as she could to prevent herself from fainting. She had thought she was done for!
Well, with Lance's apology and her continued friendship with his mother, she could certainly hope to sleep a little better at night. Not very soundly though. The guilt was still eating away at her. The fact that he had been chivalrous enough to take it as his own fault didn't make it any less hers, rather it made it more her fault than ever.
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