Chapter 3: Nothing is working!
There was something wrong with this girl's head!
Even if she somehow explained the events that just transpired in some unguessable way, when it would come to her reporting it all back to her superiors, problems were bound to appear. Taking into the account that I myself had no idea what the fuck was going on, how I was supposed to agree to her request?
"I would be thrilled to accompany you there! But are you sure we can actually get to your sect in the first place? Didn't your mount run away a moment ago?"
Shit! What the hell is wrong with me?!
Just by being in this forest I was inviting troubles to come my way. After posing as someone who has any clue about what the heck is going on, how I would be supposed to act if I were to face an expert who would be actually capable of making sense of everything that transpired so far?
Yeah, if I were to lay down my pride and give up the decision whether I want to live or not into the hands of this girl, I could explain her what was really going on from my perspective, from the banishment through the strange voices in my head all the way to how flabbergasted by the situation I was myself... But the chances were, that before I would be able to finish even a half of my story, my head would be hanging from this girl's belt as a trophy!
Unless I put on a fake front and secure the odds required for survival by myself, I would be akin to asking for someone to kill me! Even if she were to take pity on me now and actually extend a helping hand, how would her superiors in the sect react upon learning about my true origins? This wasn't a hamburgerland anymore, but a place where the strong feast on the weak! My dear cousin already proved it to me in one of the worst ways possible!
On the other hand, following her back to her sect, was akin to risking her master discovering my backstory anyway, just from the fact how trash I regretfully am! No matter how I would think about it or from which side I would try to approach this subject in order to tackle it, the only difference I could see was that following her would prolong my life for as long as it would take her master to uncover my ruse and do what most people do with the trash.
Clean the mess.
But welp, it still means living for a bit longer, with a girl fawning all over me at that!
It's decided then!
"Young lady, during my exile I had to burn my cultivation down to escape my pursuers. With the previous events, I lost my last bit of strength! Even if I try to recuperate during the walk, I might not be able to recover my power at all!"
As she heard those words, the girl's face twitched, as she lowered her gaze in order to avoid my eyes. From the slight blush on her cheeks, I could only assume that she somehow felt ashamed... But why?
Maybe she thought that with me on her side, the travel back to the sect wouldn't pose any problems? Tough luck cutie, if you were to compare your problems with sitting, shoulders deep in the pit of shit, learning about my lack of combat abilities could only be compared to taking a deep breath. On the other hand, if we were to extend this analogy, I was actually swimming against the current of a faecal river!
"Master doesn't need to worry!"
Putting a bright smile on her petite face, this girl covered her fright with a cheerful attitude. From what I could recall, this forest served as a challenging place for young cultivators from nearby sects. Thinking about how well-equipped she was, to the point of bringing a damned mount to a dense forest, it has to be her first mission in this place. Otherwise, she would just go with something comfortable, instead of maximising both her defensive and evasive capabilities!
Regretfully, with her horse - or whatever the thing she was riding on would be called in this world - gone, her armour tainted by the dirt and mud from the ground and her mental state challenged by the recent stormy weather of zombie babies raining from the skies, I had no doubt that she was... In no condition to face whatever was going to be troublesome in this place!
"Let's just get going. I will do my best to protect us both!"
With adorable expression surfacing on her face, she took out a small jade from her storage ring - a few class better than the one that I have on me.
"If I won't be able to make it, I hope Master can pass this jade to my sect elders."
As she tossed the stone in my direction, I somehow managed to catch it, despite my agility being on the same level as my wits. Only existing in the tales! Despite my eagerness to check out the content of the trinket she passed to me, being a mere mortal, I simply had no means to do so!
Noticing the chance to somehow score some brownie points with her for the sake of our future relations, I gathered all the courage I had before steeling my face and approaching the girl. As if she sensed my movement, she turned quickly around, only to have her hands caught, as I leaned over her face a bit while putting up a charming smile for her to adore.
"Don't worry young girl. We will both make it, even if it will cost my life! I already burned my last bit of strength for you, I won't let this sacrifice go in vain!"
If you want to rob, go for a bank, never settle for some stray wallet of some stranger on the street. If you want to lie, make sure to keep up your pretence and lie to your heart content! Since my entire rouse would be dismantled the moment I would meet any expert her sect had to offer, I could at least make sure to spend my last days in this world in the happiness of basking in the adoration of a cute girl!
My words seemed to have some effect on the young woman. With a slight blush appearing on her face, she shook her head and stood up.
"Oh, and don't mind the my muttering. I want to try some ancient chant to help me recover faster!"
With everything said and done, we already took our first step deeper into the forest, so I made sure to warn my newly found companion. I had a hunch about what I could do about those voices I heard back before going inside this God-Forgotten place, so I decided it would be better to prepare her for my peculiar actions beforehand!
When we moved a bit away from the scene of raining babies, I gathered all the mental energy I had and silently whispered.
"SYSTEM OPEN"
In a flash, my vision blurred, only to be replaced by a set of both strange and familiar images. No matter where I directed my sight, I could only see numerous pop-up like windows, containing long streaks of words and numbers alike.
It seems the hours I wasted on watching cliche animes and reading ever more cliche novels finally paid off!
While making sure that I'm still walking, I proceeded to read the short list of my stats.
{-----}
HP: 413/413
Mana: 200/200
Level: 7
Experience: 37/700
Free stat points: 0
*********
Strenght: 17
Agility: 13
Inteligence: 4
Wisdom: 15
Constitution: 14
Resistance: 78
Charisma: 9
*********
Energetical Affinity: 3
Martial affinity: 4
Mana affinity: 2
*********
ABILITIES
Charm - 3 level
{-----}
What the hell is that! It seems like only my intelligence is the same as when I was still a part of civilised society on earth! How could I judge it? Well, with the lack of any proper measuring tools on my hands, I could only resolve myself toa simple guess! After all, it would be a real achievement to be even dumber than I was back on earth! After everything that had happened, I couldn't just believe it was some sort of coincidence! Instead of worrying about it now, by taking my statistics at the face value, I could at least move on with my investigation!
But wait, what the fuck does this ridiculously high resistance is supposed to mean? Am I'm some kind of friggin tank? Where is my cannon then?! I know I used to call my gender a tank, whenever any net questionnaire was stupid enough to leave a blank option outside of two basic genders that were invented long before deciding who someone was moved from just looking between their legs!
Where did I even attain this charm skill? How does it work? How did it even appear in my status in the first place? It's not like I had any romantic experiences back on earth, outside of all the girls I ever confessed to, calling me a bunch of fat, gross and other names that I already managed to grow used to.
Well, since the most basic command worked right away, I guess there is only one thing left for me to do!
"Guide!"
Nothing happened. Well, I guess I will try again.
"Help"
"Tutorial"
"Information"
"Introduction."
"For beginners!"
FUCK!
Nothing seems to be working except for this darn status screen!
"Log out!"
Infuriated by this system unresponsiveness, I want to try the most obvious choice. If there is an RPG system, maybe I will be able to come back to the real world! Even if I had close to no expectations in regard to this function, as soon as I silently muttered those words under my nose, my entire vision went blank once again, only to return just a short moment later.
"Blop"
"Log function is now permanently turned on!"
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
MotivatedSloth
MotivatedSloth Hello guys!
Sloth-san is here! I'm writing this as I'm busying myself with rewriting the story from the scratch (not changing anything, just making sure its not as trash as it used to be).
With over 350 chapters already inside the story, I think my writing abilities grew to the point, where I can improve what I regarded for unworthy my attention, and in fact, a task too great to be ever able to tackle it.
But as I was finally compelled to read my initial chapters by some kind souls from the communities I belong to, I simply couldn't help how bad those chapters are, especially when seeing how this story is even contracted already!
So anyway, I guess no one is interested ine the insights of my work, so lemme just drop you an discord invite if you ever feel bored enough to have a chat with me. Right now, its still as dead as always, but all it takes to make it alive, is to just write a message there! :D
https://discord.gg/pJTVGZZ - current invite
Date of edit: 06/03/20
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone