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Voice of Reason

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Chapter 1: The Creeping of the Spirit

A spade once divided a weed stricken ground. It reached the outer limits of the roots. They were loosened, to allow rich soil into the crevasses. They were collected, to be separated and released back to nature. They were interspersed. Seth Smalling’s father’s day job was that of a farmer for the business his grandfather set up after the Second World War. It was on the outskirts of the town of Maybury.

Maybury is a large town in the centre of the district of Grandoaks. It has varied architecture throughout, everything from Victorian terraces to modern estates of houses that still have a touch of the traditional styles of old. A river winds through the centre, which connects to a canal system which reaches out for many miles to other parts of the British heartland. Along the banks of the river are grassed areas where people can sunbathe in the summer, before paddling in shallower parts. Surrounding Maybury is the beautified scenery of the district of Grandoaks. This space, impossible to completely explore in a lifetime, separates Maybury from other urban settlements which became villages and towns over the centuries.

On Sunday, Seth and his father James would always travel to the centre of Maybury to attend their parish mass. This is at the parish of St Jude the Evangelist, and the parish priest was Father Oakes at the time of their attendance. The church is surrounded by roads on all sides, and a mixture of three storey and two storey houses and flats. Occasionally a corner shop is mixed in, although the town centre shops are nearby. The church has a steeple decorated with majestic carvings of angels and saints. They would enter through a varnished oak double doorway, arched to a point at the top. When Seth was 20, he had brown shoulder length hair and eyes like a blue flame. His footsteps echoed back of St Peter and St Paul, and then he would genuflect before a sandy-yellow limestone altar. The two saints are opposed, and either side of a marble white walkway. One has a book, and the other a key. Cast in glazed granite, two different voices as one. They are by the side of two supporting columns, or a pair of rocks to build a warmly lit open meeting space. A small congregation would always gather to celebrate Sunday mass, and man named Alex Jonas was the lead musician.

Seth had been a devout Catholic since his confirmation aged 12. His father, James, had built his house and family on a life of devoted faith and prayer. Their farmhouse, and livestock farm, is on the outskirts of Maybury and about a 25 minute journey to the parish in the centre. It is the family home, for a family business handed down through the generations. A bumpy mud track leads to the house with tall trees either side. Then meter high walls surround a paved front garden to the house, with occasional planting to go with hanging baskets. There is a back garden, with hedges on all sides which obstructs the space before being cut back twice a year. The kitchen, which opens out onto the back garden, has some very traditional features such as a wrought iron stove. There is a network of bells which includes one in the kitchen, as well as all the other rooms. The living room, on the front, has a wood burning stove and polished wooden floor with carpet mat. There are three bedrooms upstairs, including the master bedroom and one with a Victorian cot which Seth slept in as a child. Seth grew up here, worked on the farm whilst at school and spent many a happy time with family and friends.

Seth’s best friend, from a very young age, was a slightly taller man with short black hair and very round spectacles. They both attended Maybury Roman Catholic High school and St Judes. However, Simon attended mass in his home town nearby on occasion. This was with his parents growing up, before he left home in 2000. On a particular Sunday, in Maybury, Simon Richer received Holy Communion kneeling down. Prior to the mass, he had prayed the rosary before a statue of Our Lady of Lourdes. Her soft hands joined in prayer, whilst she gazes where St Bernadette would have stood at the miraculous waters in Southern France.

Seth used to consider Simon to be pious. Simon’s contrasted view was that Seth was someone struggling in his formation as a Catholic. Both men felt called to marriage, although Simon and some of their other Catholic friends often encouraged Seth to become a priest. Simon was a year older than Seth. As they matured, into their mid-twenties, their faith blossomed and their lives became living witnesses. With what they had received, they chose to be the children of God.

‘It was in ancient China that a great sage was once asked by a woman ‘I’m so unhappy. Please, good teacher, I need your guidance. What can I do to become happy?’ The priest saying mass at the Parish of St Jude the Evangelist was Father Oakes. His was mid 50’s, with a weathered face, warm smile and hair that was starting to grey in places. He lived in the presbytery of the church, but was much engaged in the local community. He would be a witness to the faith in Maybury Town, and also whilst out on call including when administering the Sacrament of the Sick. This particular sermon was on the feast of Christ the King, on a mid-November Sunday evening. The warmth inside the church was contrasted by the pitter-patter of descending rain drops from the outside.

‘The sage replied ‘Get me a mustard seed…’. Then the woman went away to get one. ’Father Oakes had a serious tone in his voice at this stage. There was a pause after the word ‘seed’ that seemed to captivate the congregation of about 150 people. At least Seth was someone that noticed this. Seth was someone starting out in life. He had the ambition to work in local government, and had a passion for climate change and the environment. Father Oakes’ sermons were a source of inspiration when Seth, Simon and others who were in attendance at this particular parish. ‘Now go out into the town and make everyone you see happy. She returned a year later.’

Simon owned a small electronics firm when he graduated in 2000. He had always had a passion for technology. However, he had fallen away from his Catholic faith as a teenager. In fact, part of his conversion back to the faith was the identification of a long standing addiction to computer gaming. This addiction eventually went too far and affected his mental health. He engaged with the mental health services in 2001.

Therefore Simon’s formation as a Catholic was something that helped him find health, stability and success. The firm he established is in a larger nearby town called Salestown. Salestown is ten miles from Maybury. It is slightly greater in size, with a more ‘city-like’ feel to it. The suburbs of Salestown are very varied in nature, including a good mix of ethnic groups. However, in Salestown there is certainly a rich-poor divide that was hot on the agenda of the local government. Simon’s prayer life was devoted to his work, family and friends. In the year 2005 he was 26 years old when he decided to marry a young woman named Stephanie. She was 23, with long blonde hair and deep green eyes.

She was a fellow Catholic he had first met on a night out in Maybury with a friendship group including Seth Smalling. Before the night out, Simon had prayed before the Statue of Divine Mercy in the Salestown parish of St Mary Magdalene. What he didn’t realise was that Stephanie saw him from afar, deep in prayer, before the night out. She then prayed herself, for him, as she had secretly been in love with him with for a year prior to this event. However, he had a condition that meant he had struggled with social interaction for a long time since adolescence. He made a fool of himself the first time they met.

He once attended his cousins wedding which was at the same parish in Salestown. The wedding was an event that brought together many of his extended family who largely hailed from the North East. Non-believers heavily outweighed practicing Catholics such as Simon, his father and uncle.

The church of St Mary’s is essentially a flat cylindrical shaped space, with additional buildings attached. This includes the presbytery and parish hall for social events. There are also extensive grounds and grassed areas surrounding. The church is a modern building with a very well lit and clean feel to it. On the wedding day, a congregation of about 75 found their way to the warmly lit pews that surround the altar in an almost hemispherical arrangement. The Stations of the Cross line the walls, left to right from one side of the church to the other. The altar sat beautifully on a sandstone plinth, and was surrounded by carved wooden seats. Simon’s cousin, Jessica, and her partner Craig had opted for a type of service that involved the strictest possible type of vows. Craig had recently turned Catholic, and had decided that that was the best option for the family he wished to start.

The service went well, and Simon read a famous biblical passage about love before the gospel reading and homily. A very famous writer, thinker and spiritual teacher once wrote about the very nature of a person’s soul. That it is almost like a bright light with specks of dust that come in and out. These specks creep from the outside inwardly towards the core of a man, or woman’s, very being. They take the same shape of the light, in a parallel being to that of pure unadulterated core. Of course, the specks can be larger patches. When Simon attended this mass, patches were everywhere. They were like a disease, on a tree, that blocked the light getting to its trunk and branches. It could also have been likened to algae on a still canal.

The power that now enters Simon’s soul has its origins in the divine. His soul is like glass, and the power which reaches it emanates from an angelic being. However, before it reaches Simon, it takes a journey similar to that of light through a series of windows. Therefore, the light is a reflection of the original intensity. As Simon is a human, this means that he is the lowest type of being in comparison to the angel. Only God is above the angel. Therefore, the light which entered Simon’s soul in the early years of his recovery caused a great deal of pain within. This is because it caused great turmoil amid the other forces such as confusion, pride and the vices. That is why the infiltration of power is allowed by God, through his angels and saints, on a gradual basis. To allow more power in, Simon would also have to turn to God in prayer. Over time, Simon reflected God’s grace in his Sainthood, as the power illuminated his soul to shine brightly.

In 2005, at the latter stages of his illness, Simon reflected on Acts of the Apostles chapter ten. In this passage, Jesus said to St Peter to ‘Take and eat’ the many insects and reptiles shown to him. One could reflect on this and say that everything is a gift. Food, water, medicine, confession and the life-giving body and the precious blood are all from God’s infinite goodness. When he received Jesus in the host at his friend’s wedding in 2005, with his condition, he felt he had no option but to do this. The Catholic Eucharist is taught to be the ‘source and summit’ of Christian life. Although Simon was completely healed a year later in 2006, he was still very single minded in his faith. He knew God’s teaching on those that were not against the disciples, so therefore were in support of them despite not being part of Jesus specific following. However, he still failed to see a merciful God in a very confusing world. Other forces, and vices, were within his soul. He had experienced this as a young person growing up in Britain. Yet still, there was one set of footsteps in the sand, despite an attitude that occasionally was very judgmental.

Five years later in 2006, from the start of his illness, Simon felt blessed to be in communion with someone, or something that had never failed him up to that point. From the depths of misery, and brokenness, he repented over that time for that which never failed to set him off course. The effects of cigarettes, drunken states and flashing screens were to be dredged out almost like the algae. This was so that the light could be made visible, so he could put it on top of a mountain. He asks himself: Am I worthy of this?

At the wedding of Craig and Jessica, Simon read a passage about love at the wedding with feeling. It’s a passage about unconditional love, written by Christ’s most zealous prophet. Seth slowed his voice down, from the heart, for the last line ‘Love never comes to an end’. He looked down to the pews at the bride and groom just after this line. This is God’s unconditional love, including for St Paul who wrote the passage. Although it is debated by scholars, many believe that this prophet had issues relating to his sexuality.

After the sermon, and the vows, a very Anglican hymn in nature was played by the hired organ player. It was ‘All things bright and beautiful’, a famous hymn about God’s love for creation and how this should make us eternally grateful. Simon left the church, in an anxiety attack, because he did not agree that this hymn should have been played in a Catholic church. He made a spectacle of himself.

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