Transcendence

LV 14

Leo_Hex

Real Score: 2/5 (Well, there's a plot twist for ya! Ey, Webnovel? [But don't think this changes things. I still want a better scoring system!]) Title: A good Concept that Substitutes Passion for the Necessary Slow-Burn. Yes author, I think you're original concept is really cool, and could make this story one of the greatest revenge plots of all time, if done correctly! But first We gotta talk about the slow-burn storytelling that's necessary for classic intrigue plots. Don't worry I'll walk you through it. Revenge plots are Intriguing plots, unless the protagonist is just going on a very obvious blood fueled rampage. And I love the classics, but this isn't presented as a fight to the death, more like a duel between masters, under subtext and subterfuge. And Subterfuge needs time to unfold and entwine the characters with the facts, the "truth" on how everyone acts on those facts, and the rules beneath the rules. Again, Slow-Burn. Give the characters, and thus, the audience, new information, slowly. Have them learn something they shouldn't have and watch them struggle with the risks and rewards of revealing the secret. Have them make a taboo, early before they know the rules and watch them claw their way out of that pit(-trap). (<-- psst* That's a good way to introduce a side antagonist.) The story is good, just by going straightforward and having a mastermind slowly put together their plot, you can keep the audience engaged. Just slow down, because life isn't a race, and that speed is better used in the finale as everyone and everything comes together in a giant storm. Now for the Good news, Your concept is brilliant! I won't lie it will shake the world if you do this right. So here it is. The best part of your concept is threefold. One (1) it allows your protagonist to fail and show both their weaknesses, and that they can grow and improve. Two (2) by having the system, be a both a tool and teacher figure, the lead can explain the process of their deductions to someone, without fear of betrayal. Think a Watson to ask your Holmes the questions. It will also make your Protagonists feel smarter by not doing the classic "All according to plan!" bit. Three (3) having the protagonist world skip through their trials can be both a great exercise on worldbuilding and philosophical collision. Your leading lady can go through worlds using what they have in the past in both skill and magic system mastery (if you want to go the fantasy route, plus you already have rencarnation, so.) Thus is an opportunity to really go wild and weird with this stuff. See how they use the advantages and disadvantages of the setting to their plan. And see how that process works in a completely new setting. Have your protagonist level up their skills and make them change the methods from world to world. And my biggest piece of advice for this is to let the system teach them the magic system and worldbuilding, don't let it be the source of it. Teach, rather than Bestow. Then whether you decide if a magic system can cross worlds or only the fuel source or the way it changes the Main Character, will follow. The possibility are endless. You can even go full high speed revenge by letting one world be a battle crazy blood bath. Let the MC process straight up murder. But remember, for the Intruege plot portions, "Go Slow." That's all. Good Luck!