Chapter 60: EPILOGUE
RUTH WALKER:
An hour, and I still kept standing there looking up at the sky.
I still couldn't believe that he really left me alone!
All.
fuckin.
alone.
Why do I feel weird? Like a part of me, he took away from me when he left.
I was definitely not happy when I was with him and This was definitely all I wanted to happen to me, ever since forever.
Ever since this whole game of chase started.
And now that he is really gone, I don't know where would I go?! What would I do?!
What kind of emptiness is this that I'm feeling deep down inside my heart?!
He let me go, so then, why can't I fucking let go of him either?!
I caress my belly.
He fixed me.
And dropped me to the city he stole me away from!
What does he mean?
Does he want me to go back to my life?
But then... My home?
My Brian?
My Irene?
Should I go to Rose?
~~
I was in the subway, struggling with all this going inside my head.
The doors to my subway slid open and I was standing on a very familiar station.
All the past memories of me and Brian started to come back in my mind over and over again.
The chuckling
The giggling
The catching of subway from the same station everyday.
The going together to family picnics.
The roads, the streets, this colony.
Nothing seemed changed over these eleven and a half months.
I had no hope going back to my own home so I went to Rose's home.
It was locked.
Strange.
Did she leave London and move to somewhere else?!
"Are you looking for someone honey?!"
An old lady passing by, asked me with a gentle smile pulled across her lips.
"Y-yeah! I'm looking for my friend Rose. She used to live here..?"
I looked at the locked door, disappointed.
"Well, didn't you hear? Rose got married. She lives across the street now! Do you want me to guide you to her new place?"
She asked me with a warm smile.
"Umm... No, it's fine!"
I refused.
I don't want her to see me like this and try to support me after what I went through.
If she would have been a bachelor like before, it wouldn't have mattered, but now... After she got married and have her own life with a new partner.
I do not intend to create unwanted troubles for her and her husband.
So, what do I do now?
I took a deep breath and turned back on my feet, walking back to my old apartment.
From where, everything started.
Standing before flat no. 509, I stared at the door.
It was locked.
Maybe, the owners re-selled this apartment to new tenants.
I pressed the bell.
I don't exactly know what I was looking for.
This used to be my home.
Mine and Brian's sweet heaven.
I still remember the day he was offered this place from his office. I can never forget those moments.
Soon the door clicked and the man who walked out of the apartment had me staring at him all shocked and spellbound.
"Ruth? I-Is that you?!"
"B-Brian?!"
I couldn't believe my own eyes.
After Nick send me those haunting and horrible parcels, standing right before me was the man who I thought was dead all along.
He immediately open the door wider for me to walk inside.
"I- umm.. W-we thought you were dead?!"
I look around this house.
The interior was changed, has he renovated?
"I thought you were dead!"
I said blankly, tears rolling down my eyes
He saw some of the brutal bruises and grabbed me from my arms extremely worried
"Where have you been?!"
"New York!"
I replied, my face was still blank.
I was trying to find the warmth that used to be here before but everything... Everything here is so changed, so out of warmth.
Was it just me missing Eric?!
Could it be that?!
Maybe...
I don't trust myself anymore.
"New York?! Ruth?! What the fuck happened to you?!"
Brian asked, cupping my face in both his palm.
I grab his left hand to see his fingers.
As expected, there were only four, his ring finger was absent.
"What happened to your hand?"
I ask and he curled back his palm.
"Uhm, I got into some troubles on the day these media reporters announced me as dead to the freaking world accidentally."
"So that man who died, wasn't you?"
"Nope! That was some guy, cops found out later called Jack. I was kidnapped, sure, but they cut off my finger and let me walk away just like that!"
"Oh!" I mumbled.
Every piece was falling back into the picture now. Every freaking thing was starting to make sense to me now.
"Thank God you're alive!"
I mumbled wondering if Eric wanted me to meet Brian here?
What was this man planning.
I remember how irritated he used to be every time I used to take Alan's name but Brian...? Eric seemed like he didn't care at all with me loving Brian.
Why?!
When there was no movement in my state for thirty more seconds, Brian grabbed me from my arms and questioned me loudly.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU RUTH?!"
And this time I looked back into his eyes.
"I have been hiding away something from you. Something about my past which you should know. Being my husband, you have every right to know this, all about me!"
I say and he left me.
"I have a past. A very dark and bad past. I'm sorry, I should've told you before but I was just too scared to tell you all of it."
This is it.
I don know if Eric is gone or not, but I am doing this with Brian.
It was me, who kept him in the dark all along. I never thought they would come back, and I was scared if I tell him about my terrible past Brian would leave me and walk away.
After a very long time, after Alan's death, I actually genuinely felt something for someone, and I really didn't want to loose Brian.
I know I should've told him but there was no way he was going to stay if I told him the truth back then.
So I kept it all inside my heart.
"Alright then. I'm all ears now. Tell me everything which is related to you!" Brian said.
I don't know how would Brian even react after I tell him everything, but right now I'm telling him everything.
My past.
My present
Only to decide my future.
Or maybe.... Our future?
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-------The END-------
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