Chapter 22: Under Plains of Dume!

"Wooo yeah!" Cuthbert grinned as the party hurried down the small corridor that they found themselves in. "High five!" he said to Percy.

"I think I lost a finger!" complained the other zombie.

"High four then!"

"Yeah!"

"I'm glad you two enjoyed yourselves," said Dreth dryly, wiping blood off his sword. "Is everybody all right?"

Apart from Percy's lost finger, it seemed the group had come through unscathed.

"I need a rest though," said Redthorne.

"Let's move a little distance away from that madhouse first," said Dreth. He looked at M. "Er, sorry about that back there. I was kind of at a loss what to do."

"So you thought you would try and cut my throat?" M replied.

Dreth shrugged. "Seemed the way to go at the time."

M made a face, but said nothing.

They hurried along the narrow tunnel, which was hewn from sandy brown rock with an uneven ceiling. Dreth and Redthorne had to duck on more than one occasion as the roof dipped down. The ground below them was loosely packed earth.

The path wound back and forth, like a meandering stream, for a good period of time. Certainly long enough for Redthorne to complain again.

"I want to get out of this passage first," said Dreth. He looked ahead. "Is that light up there?"

It was. The group approached cautiously as the route opened up, and they found themselves standing outside the entrance to a small cave in the side of a low hill. Dim light seemed to emanate from an unseen source all around them. The ground stretched away into the distance, covered in scraggly plants which hugged the earth, as if afraid to be seen.

"We're outside! Outside!" Percy bent down to touch the ground. "Out again, after all these years."

"I don't know," said Cuthbert. "Unless something radical has happened I don't think this is outside."

"Of course it is," argued the other zombie. "How could it not be? There are no walls! Look!" He pointed at the absence of such.

"I'm with Cuthbert on this one," said Dreth. "Unless things have been rearranged, 'outside' had a sun."

"Could be night," said Percy stubbornly.

"True, but even so, there are a few tell tale signs that suggest your theory is flawed."

"Like what?" Percy folded his arms.

"Well," Dreth pointed upwards. "Outside doesn't have a bloody great rocky ceiling high above for a start. And this black sand doesn't look very earthlike. We're in some sort of massive underground cavern."

"No cavern. The Under Plains!" A new voice piped up.

Dreth reached for his sword. "Who said that?"

"It was I! I spake!"

They looked around as a small skinny figure stepped out from behind a patch of dry, yellow brush.

"A goblin? What are you doing here?" asked Cuthbert. "Lost are you?"

"I'm a Black Goblin! I roam these plains. I know no master! I wander where I please."

"Ah, a local." Dreth stepped forward. "Tell me, ah…"

"Gerald," the goblin said.

"Tell me Gerald, where are we exactly?"

"Thee truly knows not?"

"I just said so didn't I?"

The Goblin puffed out his skinny chest. "Ware travelers! Thee standeth upon the Under Plain of DUME!" The small creature cackled and rubbed its hands together in maniacal fashion.

"And what, pray tell," asked Dreth, "is the Under Plain of Doom?"

"Not Doom, DUME. D-U-M-E," replied the goblin, spelling it out.

"Of course, how silly of me," Dreth stated, hanging on to his patience by a thread.

"The Under Plain is a dark, dark place. Dark and black and dark." The goblin hunched over, warming to his tale. "A vast plain of darkness, black darkness, ruled over by the Castle of Oversight, which towers above the dark black dark…"

"Yes, yes. It's very dark and black, we get the idea. Get on with it." Dreth glared.

Gerald scowled at being interrupted, but hurried on as Dreth tapped Darkblood meaningfully. "They say," and here the creature paused and looked left and right, as if someone could be listening. "They say they reside there."

"They being…?" asked Cuthbert.

"The rulers of course," the goblin whispered it. "The Lords of the dungeon."

"Interesting." Dreth scratched his chin. "And the Under Plain? No doubt it crawls with creatures both foul and depraved?"

"Oooh, foul and depraved indeed. Good one." The goblin stepped closer and pointed with a finger. "All around horrid creatures stalk the land, preying upon each other. Killing in ways too horrible to mention." It shuddered. "Many dangerous things lurk here, oh yes they do."

"Well, now there's one more," said Dreth, standing a little straighter.

"Is there anywhere safe to take a rest?" asked Redthorne, sitting down on a small hummock.

"Safe? There be no safety in the black, dark and black Under Plains of Dume," stated the goblin with some relish.

Dreth reached down and picked the small creature up by its head. "Gerald, tell the man what he wants to hear."

The goblin made a face. "Fine. Be like that." He pointed to the left. "Over yonder is the Black Desert, where they reside, or so it's said. Never been there personally."

"Okay, not a big fan of that direction," said Cuthbert. "What else do you have?"

Gerald flailed about. "Very well. Put me down and I will tell you all."

Dreth dropped him with a thud. "Start talking," he said, "or you're going to see some doom alright. Black or otherwise."

The goblin scowled. "Bully," he said.