Chapter 10: Chapter 10: Are you afraid of us?
''I see you're having fun. '' He told me.
I was used to his presence and as far as I can remember, it didn't bother me.
''I don't know what you're talking about...'' I muttered under my breath.
'' I see. You are so naive my young David. Don't forget that I'm you, you can't hide anything from me. You are bathing in this atmosphere, you are relaxing. Do you want to trust them? Did you forget the last time? ''
Anxiety began to gradually take control of my body.
These bad memories that resurfaced, I had locked them away. I wanted them forgotten, even though I knew the scars they created would remain forever etched in my mind.
''Who doesn't say that you are making the same mistake again? ''
'' I... ''
"If I remember correctly, it was like that with your old friends, right? Do you remember that? You really liked doing this kind of outing. ''
''...''
"There was also this guy, this gang leader who…"
I didn't let him finish his sentence. It was too much, I was going to lose my mind if he finished it.
'' Enough ! ''
I shouted, hitting the table with my fist.
I forgot that I was in a public place, and I raised my voice. When I looked up, Carole was already back. She looked at me with a worried look.
The others also looked very surprised.
''Sorry...'' I said in a frail voice.
A silence settled between us. I had just shouted so suddenly and what's more, I didn't know at what level of their discussion they were at that I could interrupt them like that.
I didn't know how they were going to interpret it. Suddenly, they made me laugh.
Were they making fun of me?
''Hey man, this is the first time I've heard you speak out loud. '' Said Adrien.
'' Sorry... ''
I said, lowering my head.
Carole sat next to me. I didn't know what to say anymore and I was sorry for ruining the atmosphere. It was proof that I had nothing to do with them. I decided to leave. But before I took the initiative, Morelle asked me a question that surprised me.
''Hey David. I would like to know one thing, are you afraid of us? ''
I was speechless at this question.
Being afraid of others? If I persist in distancing myself from others, it may be because I am afraid of them. Maybe I always knew it and that's why I chose solitude. I was probably doing this to protect myself.
Was it wise to tell them that?
Should I tell them everything?
''No, not really...'' I replied.
''I see, sorry then... It's just that I noticed that our presence makes you uncomfortable. You also keep your distance, it's a bit frustrating. ''
"We have no right to force you or tell you to trust us. Also, we don't have to prove to you that you also have to trust us. These are things that happen naturally. But, we could at least make a little effort to get to know each other better. '' Said Adrien.
''He's right. You could start by not repressing your desires or also tell us clearly what you think about a situation like you did with the penguin. '' Added Konny.
Carole then came closer to me. His body against mine comforted me as usual.
"It's not fun when everyone is having fun and one person decides to isolate themselves. So, please yourself too, you can relax, get angry, laugh, cry, we won't mind listening to you. You look a lot like the penguin from earlier. If you need a helping hand, by all means, I won't hesitate to do it. ''
She smiled at me as usual. Having a girl like her smile at me or people like them worrying about me was unreal. He shouldn't have gone to this much trouble, I wasn't worth it.
I really wasn't worth it...
Everyone having already given their opinion, all eyes turned to Myriam who was sipping her coffee.
'' What ? ''
she asked, remaining indifferent. ''I'm sorry, but I have nothing to say at the moment. ''.
She still had her piercing, emotionless gaze.
''You could make an effort Myriam...'' Said Adrien in an exasperated tone.
''I'm sorry but I have no inspiration. That's how it is. ''
The atmosphere which had previously been heavy suddenly became jovial and warm. I had to admit, it wasn't uncomfortable.
'' All right. I will do my best. '' I said suddenly.
I didn't understand why I said that. It came out on its own. Shame forced me to cover my mouth with my right hand. I then looked up to see their reaction.
Nothing had changed, they were still smiling.
"Don't force yourself either. Do things at your own pace. '' Said Carole.
"David, you are someone precious to us. ''Added Morelle.
"Someone precious...? ''
It was a bit of an exaggeration to say that. We only know each other today.
'' For what ? '' I asked looking surprised.
''You are Carole's boyfriend. You're part of the family. '' Said Konny.
Eh ?!
I turned my gaze towards Carole. She was embarrassed and the expression on her face seemed to ask me to stop looking at her.
'' I understand. '' I said simply.
A few minutes later, we finished eating and left the restaurant. It was now necessary to decide on the continuation of the program.
So it was up to me to choose our next activity.
"I don't really know…"
''Come on David! You probably want to go somewhere, right? '' Said Carole.
Thinking back, when I was little, I loved going to watch the fish at the aquarium. Then Konny's words resurfaced.
Maybe I shouldn't repress my desires anymore. I could at least do it today.
Just to play along. There was nothing wrong with doing that, right?
"I would like to go to the aquarium. It's been a long time since I've been there. ''
''Um... So let's go. '' Said Adrien.
So we went to the aquarium to see the fish. The little time spent there brought back good old memories from my childhood. I really enjoyed this moment.
After that, we did other activities like bowling or going on a merry-go-round. The hardest part for me was Karaoke. But hey, I got through it, but my honor stayed in the karaoke room and never came out again.
The sun was starting to set and put an end to this rather eventful day. Now it was time to say goodbye. Everyone was going to go home the same way they came.
A few minutes later, Carole and I were at the bus stop. We were waiting for the bus so we could go home. She didn't speak at all and looked away from me. It's been that way ever since I found out she didn't tell her friends we broke up.
Also, I was curious as to why she decided to do this. I asked him the question.
'' Said. May I know why you didn't tell them we broke up? ''
''I don't know what you're talking about. ''
I let out a sigh.
''Plus, when we saw it at the amphitheater, we didn't say we were ending our relationship. You just got up and left without saying a single word. '' She added.
''Maybe it's true...''
We remained silent for a moment, then I spoke again, saying something as stupid as it was unpredictable.
"It doesn't matter, I could still keep this lie secret if it's enough to preserve this friendship that you cherish so much. ''
I said it without thinking and now I was ashamed.
When I looked at her out of the corner of my eye, I could see she was embarrassed. She blushed, it made her look cute.
''Why would you do this for me? '' She asked me in a shy voice.
''I don't really know... I'm surprised to hear myself say that, especially since I don't gain anything by doing it. If my reaction is not logical, it is perhaps because my will is currently dictated by something else. Perhaps it is my heart that desires this...''
I said looking away.
She looked at me for a long moment, then she smiled.
"So, did you have fun today? '' She asked me.
"Let's just say I wasn't bored. ''
The bus we were supposed to take arrived.
''I see... Then we should organize this kind of outing from time to time. ''
She said smiling, then got on the bus.
In the end, this fear that I felt was perhaps not because of Carole and her comrades.
Perhaps this fear was because I knew I could have fun with them if I put my mind to it. Maybe that was what tormented me.
Finally, at the end of this day. What response did I get during this outing?
End of chapter.
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