"Seon-Ho? I haven't done this before. Please tell me what I should do, so it doesn't hurt?" "What makes you think that I know anything about this?" I managed to mumble before I lost myself in her scent that was infused in her hair before I began to undress her. "I will find out if you are lying or not, so beware, or I shall kill everyone who has ever touched you." "Are you being serious?" I knew I was starting to sound like a goddamned maniac, but having her tremble at my words made my flare up inside, I was completely consumed by her smell, her taste, her milky white skin, and I needed to do something about it before I exploded...

"Seon-Ho? Are you even listening to me? I wanted to thank you for saving me from the palace jail by bringing over a new robe for you." "Is this why you asked me to come to the brothel? I have work to be getting on with, you know." I snapped at her as I downing my fourth bottle of liquor in the space of an hour to get the memory of my taking Yeon's virginity from haunting me. "I want you to straddle me, come over here." Having her sit like this in our most intimate moment so far and seeing her half-naked, in a position that no-one has or ever will get the chance to just aroused me even more. "Do you feel that? That is happening to me because of you, and I need you to take care of it for me..." I remembered that she nodded rather shyly and her face was running pleasantly pink into a much deeper shape of red that really suited her. And she was still do decibel innocent every time that we were intimate like that, it was like she was letting me relive our first time over and over again. "Be still, do not move and do not speak, unless you want this to hurt..." "Please do not hurt me." "Don't you ever give me a reason to do so and I promise you that I will never hurt you..."

"But I personally sewed them for you and it is my very firs time doing something domesticated like this. I pricked my fingers so many times when I made this for you and I ..." "Please do not waste my time like this from now on, I have my own plans to get on with as soon as possible." "I will give you and update as soon as I can. You have already drank enough liquor..." "That I am funding? In your brothel?" "...please just try it and see if it fits you for my sake." "I am homeless and miserable right now, I am in no mood to try on any clothes. You should maybe just choose someone else who can collaborate with you and give you the life of luxury that you want instead of pandering to someone unless like me..."

"Pandering? What on earth do you mean? Magnificent clothing, good food, a lofty status and more, you have it all, so why would I want to detach myself from this? You fund my brothel well, what more could I want? I just wanted to repay you with a small kindness, on top of everything else that I owe you for helping me out. And I..." "I what?" "I kept on recalling everything that you have ever said to me when I was in the jail cell, that is what kept me going whilst I was in there." "What is that supposed to mean?" "I guess that most women in the world are ashamed to confess their love..." "Hui-Jae..." "...but why should it be concealed? After everything that we have been through together." "Which is?" "What do you mean? I haven't disappeared into thin air like Yeon has, right? But I wonder where she can go and with what support since the death of her brother..." Just what the hell was I supposed to say to that? She was right, Yeon had disappeared for over a month and I had too much work going on here in the capital to just leave and find her. One of the physicians had a relative that was on board with the disaster relief plan due to his demise after the whole debacle with the Empress framing Yeon, he was pulled out and I was pulled in to work on Yeon's plans without her. And it was because I had become intricately tied to the Seo's in the palace, which was working out better for me than I could have ever anticipated. And as for the flaws that Yeon pointed out in her work, i was already well aware of them when I took a sneak peak of her plan in my mother's old quarters, which was now ruined by the Empresses men who raided the Nam manor that day. So I didn't really need her for the plan...but nevertheless, I couldn't stop thinking about this marriage plan that I had for Yeon. Bringing her back to he capital to work on her plan with me would put her in a good light and it would plant a seed in the Emperor's mind to let me marry her before he started getting ideas and chose a bride for me. If I was going to get that girl's help in my plans, she had to become my main wife and not a lousy concubine that I might have to make Hui-Jae. Or better yet, I can get her help before I married Yeon and never look back on this phase of my life again.

"...my heart skips with joy for you and I am full of gratitude. Don't you feel the same way?" I didn't, not anymore. But who knows, maybe I could use her to make Yeon jealous and bring her back to me. "Why are you not saying anything? Am I not beautiful enough? Or do I not do enough for you?" The most ironic thing about this whole situation was the fact that Yeon was turning out to be everything that I originally thought that Hui-Jee was. And because I grew up with Yeon, I knew that she wasn't unless, she was far from it in fact. But the image of herself that she showed back then, which i was now having doubts about, I was beginning to feel that way about Hui-Jee. I thought she was educated, but she was in fact quite lazy in her studies whereas Yeon always had her nose in a book every single day and educated herself to the best of her ability. There was always an essay, debate and other critical commentary with every single book or article that she wrote and she always ended the day with practising her calligraphy long before I brought her to my father's home. She was perfectly domesticated as well and knew which season went with which teas, snacks and meals. And now that I am thinking about food...

"You haven't cooked for me for a while now, ever since my father's arrest if I recall. If you want me to stay, then I need a complete meal with tea before I go back to the palace tonight." The look on her face was begging to unsettle me, more than I thought. All the times that she had given me food in her brothel's utensils, whose food was it? For goodness sake, had she really dumbed herself down this much in Hwi's absence? The food could have been poisoned or drugged for all I knew, and she was just feeding me everything she gave me without question? What on earth had happened to this woman? Why did she loose her bright spark that I was attracted to when I first met her? I had to admit now that without her intelligence, she really wasn't all that beautiful to me anymore. maybe I did naturally appreciate a woman's mind more than I cared to admit. "...we shouldn't be humiliated by our lowly statuses anymore. We should start talking about a more intimate alliance between us to resolve this issue and..." "and who else?" "Excuse me?" "You know exactly what I am talking about. How many concubines will you give me? So we can really pull ourselves from our lowly positions?" "Do you want to take on concubines?" "Concubines are a sign of wealth and prestige, especially from noble families. And it would rehabilitate your image as a brothel madame to become the wife of a palace official. So, how many will you give me?" "It all depends on how much you love me." She got me there and she knew it. I couldn't say anything to her, so I had no choice but to try on her robe, which instantly pricked me with almost 100 needles that she had sown into the robe.

"I made this just for you, so you cannot take this off. Does it hurt? Does it remind me of how you betrayed me, not only in the palace, but when you got too close to Seo Hwi's sister? Because I have felt this pain for a very long time. But although there was some pain, there was some happiness as well; because this sort of pain was given to me by you. I wanted to share this with you, to remind you that I will not share you with any other woman, I mean it. And this robe will remind you of that sentiment, forever."

Her white teeth were showing through her thickly painted red lips and it was killing me; if i wasn't being tortured by my father, I had now found- stolen a woman off of my best friend who seemed to have the same plans for me as he did. To her, I was just an object that she could use to build herself up whilst she would surely drag me down, but this was to be expected I guess. I could tell she was offended by the concubine suggestion and I had no idea why since we both knew she wasn't really in love with me. But what I did know that when I mentioned the same thing to Yeon a few weeks ago, she couldn't even look me in the eyes and always found an excuse to walk away from me. She couldn't look me in the eyes when it came to other woman, so let us see how she will react when she has no choice to be faced with such a predicament. Would she run away from me once again when I found her? Or would she pick a fight with me because of it? What better way to lure a woman that you are trying to seduce with pure jealousy?

"Yeon!" "What?" "What are you thinking about that has you blushing so deeply like that? Your face looks like a tomato right now." "Ae-Cha!" "What? You're the one who is bashing like a baboon's bottom!" "Stop it!" "I thought you told me that you were virgin and that you have never had any experiences with men at all!" "I haven't! I haven't done anything with anyone!" "Yeah right! What else could be possibly have you blushing this much!" And now I couldn't stop thinking about that night we spent in his mother's quarters and something possessive me to trace him as much as he touched me over and over again as if he had every right to, as if he wanted to do that and so much more...just like I did when I...

"Ok then tell me, have you let anyone hold you?" "I..." what was wrong with me? I knew that men thought of sex all of the time, so what was my excuse? Why couldn't I stop thinking about him every time he touched me, looked at me, kissed me, stalked me? Even when I slept all I could do was think about Seon-Ho and how his big muscular body would glisten in the moonlight with sweat when he trained as close as he could to my quarters... "...have you even let a man kiss you?" "Well..." every single time he kissed me, it wasn't a light or romantic kiss at all. It was hot, it was sweet, he always pulled me right into his chest so I could not escape, and it was as if he was hungry for it...

"Ae-Cha?" "Yes?" "Is it normal...when a man kisses you...that he...his tongue..." "Oh my goodness! Yeon!" "What!" What is it?" "Have you done...it?" "It? What on earth are you..." "you know exactly what I am talking about! Men only use tongues in kissing when they want to...have a marital night with a woman!" Myself and Ae-Cha were both conversing next to a lake in winter and I was still blushing so badly that I thought my cheeks were going to burn in embarrassment. "How do you know...that when a man uses tongue...that he wants to..." "Have you forgotten my story already? Everyone in my village knows what happened to me." "I'm sure that it wasn't your fault..." "it wasn't! But out of everybody who was supposed to support me and love me unconditionally, only you seem to believe in me." "But...did you really..." "Yes, I gave myself to a man who swore to me that he loved me he that he would marry me. But as soon as he got what he wanted, he threw me out of the inn that he rented just as my spiteful stepmother brought my father into town. Everyone saw me half naked, and he rejoined his fiancé that night for a party. He had never even mentioned her to me, he kept the fact the he was engaged hidden from me the entire time that he was courting me. But I heard that he is still messing around to this day with any woman that walks in his sight.' "But...but you did..." "he used tongue in his kiss and so much more." "So you did to it?" "Yes." "Can you tell me what that is like? Please, I am so confused." "Are you sure?" "I need to know, I really do." "Ok then, but remember, you were the one who asked for it..."

As intelligent as I was, there were still somethings about my own sex that I was completely clueless about since had no mother or sister to guide me in life. All I had was a smattering of makeup and hair accessories that the kisengs taught me how to use, and therefore, I still didn't know about a lot of things, including the relations between a man and a woman apart from kissing. "There is something else I had to ask you." "Ok" "How can you tell if someone is being genuine with you?" "What do you mean? Can't you feel it?" "This man I have...sort of been involved with...is unlike any many you have ever come across before." "Why? Is he a bad man?" "He isn't bad, but he's not all the way good either." "What do you mean?" "He has had a very traumatising childhood because he is illegitimate, even hough he has half-noble. He has had no choice but to rely on manipulation to get what he wants. He is also a very petty person; he will always get his revenge for the smallest of grievances." "Like what?" "If...you ignore him...if you abandon him..." just thinking about it all was enough to make my heart race out of fear if I ever ran into him again. 'Yeon..." "What?" "Well, I'm not as experienced as you think I am, but that type of person will need leave your life." "Really?" "He will hunt you down like one of the dogs the royal family have when they go for hunting." "Well...Ouch! Why did you just pinch me!" "He's coming! The young master is coming! Quickly look busy so it isn't obvious that we have been waiting here for him!" "So that's why you dragged me out of bed so early! I wanted to meet his father so I could go over some homework..." "Yeon!" "Now what is it?" Books, books, books. Work, work, work. Chores, chores, chores. You are turning 21 soon and you are in the prime of your youth and beauty. Men are already head over heels for you, you should be thinking about a marriage..." "You're so beautiful Yeonnie, you have no idea..." he would always touch me after that; he would either stroke my hair or my bare legs under my skirt and he would kiss me...as if he really meant it. No one had ever told me I was beautiful before, but things were so complicated with Seon-Ho. I could still feel his anger underneath every single word he said. And now he was trying to marry me, so he could privately torture me and get his revenge on me because of how much I hid from him. I always knew he would be angry, as my brother was with me for a while. But never in my life did I expect him to take it this personally; everything I did was for him and my brother. So why was he acting as if I had tried to kill him and left him on his own to bleed out? Why was he taking this so personally? Was he really going to go this far? For what?

"Good morning Young master, did you sleep well? I..." "Good morning helper, and good morning to you Seo Yeon. How are you this morning?" "Good morning, young master." I managed to mumble before my thoughts immediately turned over to the devil of the man I had to leave behind for now until I returned to the village. Then what was he going to do to me? If anything that Ae-Cha just told me about...it, then I already had an idea...

"Yeon? Seo Yeon? What happened? Are you ok?" 'What do you mean?" "You look pale. Have you been sleeping well?" "Young master, I..." "I am well, thank you, young master. Excuse me, I have a lot of work to catch up on with your father, I will see you soon." "Yeon! Wait!" "Young master, please!" "What! What is it?" Even though I was walking away, I could already feel the tension between the son of my tutor and Ae-Cha. I pitied her a lot; after her public scandal in her home town, she was almost sold into a brothel by her stepmother until she ran away and found work as a teacher's assistant. But ever since she set eyes on the young master, like most women around here, she coldest get over his good looks and charm...and the money he was going to inherit once his father passed away, which would be any day soon due to his chronic illness. His father had been a tutor all of his life and would die doing so, so he told me. But I was worried about Ae-Cha; she clearly hadn't learnt her lesson despite how traumatised she was, why was she suddenly obsessed with the young master? She practically stalked his every move and always tried to bump into him to make up some excuse to get close to him. Didn't she learn her lesson already? What was wrong with her?

And then I thought about every single time that Seon-Ho just watched me, even when I was forced to kneel in his office for unnecessary punishments. He would just stare so intensely at me, but I still couldn't be sure. Even the dynamics of the relationship between himself and Hui-Je had changed so drastically that there was always a possibility that they could end up together. I understood my brother has his issues with his woman but avoiding it wasn't going to solve the issue, and the mere thought of Seon-Ho and Hui-Jee getting together was enough to keep me awake and crying all night long in my bed. I couldn't sleep or eat properly, and instead of enjoying my time being educated, I had carried on my job as a washerwoman just to distract myself from these awful thoughts that kept on creeping up in my head. Would Seon-Ho really go far as to exploit my feelings for him just to get even with me? He wasn't incapable of it; I had fully witnessed the dark side of him that his father kept on encouraging that he kept from myself and my brother. What if...what he wanted the both if us? Hui-Jee to be his wife and he would probably keep me as a consume, just to torture me...