Synopsis
In ancient times, an old martial art expert attempted to escape from death, even though he did not have enemies who could threaten his life, his longevity was drawing to a close.
Despite all his efforts, he ended up disappearing letting behind him a small village, sealed off to the outside world, to guard the last place where he tried to go against the heavens to prolong his life.
Several hundred years later, a young daydreamer and clumsy boy from the village, named Xiao Yu started his path on cultivation without real motivation.
What would happen if accidently that lazy boy had to share his body with this old expert, and the only way for him to get it back would be to work hard and surpass everyone to become an Immortal?
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8Reviews
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Well, this will be a little difficult to leave a proper review and rating since it's the first chapter, but so far the story has potential to be great and your writing style is easy to understand. I'm not really a fan of the whole cultivation stuff but I understood what you meant about Qi and everything else. I'm looking forward to see how this story will develop.
Thank you if you come here, please help me improve my writing, I am french so I dont know if my translation is acceptable or if I should ask someone else tell me if you can. About the story I have a lot of idea for the development, if you have ideas, if you enjoy my first chapter or if you dislike it dont hesitate to tell. Thank you again.
So far, I like it. It's certainly interesting. Only regret is that there are five chapters. There are minor typos but that's bound to happen to every writer. I'm intrigued by the concept of the Dragon Gate. The slight perverse narrations and fluff make it better. Not to forget, the descriptions are very well written. I finished reading too soon. Hope for more chapters.
This review is part of a review swap and valid as of chapter five. Five chapters into the story it's still too early to even guess what the story is about. It's the beginning of the beginning. After a one chapter long infodump with what turns out to be the main character introduced we're slowly let inside the idyllic world of the young male lead. A female companion is introduced, but I've yet to decide if she's the most important of the supporting cast or if she's the female lead. The first four chapters (because I refuse to accept the first formal chapter as one) give off a nice slice of life vibe, and very little happens, which is fine by me. You can tell that the author has a good knowledge of English, but that the ability to use that knowledge lags behind. The story is written in the third person omniscient point of view and past tense. Now for the stars. Writing: Four stars. Nonstandard English contrasts against a good vocabulary. The huge initial infodump made my eyes glaze over, and the author should be put on a strict diet where the word 'was' is withheld. Updates: Five chapters isn't enough for a validation. I'll just hand out the five stars. Story: Three stars. There simply is none, and I can't even say if that's good or bad. Basically five chapters isn't enough to give me an opinion about the story progression. Character: Four stars. We're told that the male lead is a lazy air head. Unfourtenately we're not really shown that. Apart from that the characters popping up are fun enough. World: Four stars. World is mostly infodumped, but after a couple of chapters we're let inside and allowed to experience it. One again five chapters isn't enough to build the world. Lastly, I'd give this one another ten chapters or so before having an opinion about it. This is way, way, way too early to decide. After writing this review I've come to realise I should most probably have declined to write one this early in the story.
Reveal Spoiler
Dragon's door is a cultivation based story, that depicts the life of a man trying to fight against death despite being on the path of cultivation. He tries every means possible to escape the hands of death, is there anyone that can go against their fate? On the other hand is a young character who doesn't want to study and walk the path of enlightenment, thereby raising the ire of his teacher. Just a few minor typos, but the story is very engaging.
I saw your post on the forum and decided to give your novel a try. It has potential but it still has one chapter uploaded so I can't comment much about the stability of updates or the story development. Your writing can be understood. Although you might have forgotten putting a period on some sentences like I also do when I type fast. How about replacing the sign << when a character is saying something >> with "like this?" It's much easier to read that way. It's just a suggestion, so don't be angry at me, okay? Much Love! <3
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Welp! Author ur story is qiluite well written and from the way u see it, there are no grammatical or sentence mistakes. All I would like to point out is the quotation marks. << >>. Frankly I like it. Good for a difference. At the end of all of it, I would like to ask. What is a psychic array? No, its not like I don't know but don't u think its kinda weird to mention it right at the first chapter. Leave the reason blank for now and explain it later to the readers. As for the story, I have a good feeling about it.