Chapter 34: Chapter 34: Zonko's Joke Shop
After finishing their butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks and stepping outside, the rain had lessened.
"Let's go to Zonko's Joke Shop!" Fred suggested, concerned that if they went to Honeydukes Sweet Shop, they would spend the remaining change they had.
"Alright." Albert's gaze shifted away from the sweetshop. In truth, he was also curious about what Zonko's Joke Shop, which the others couldn't stop talking about, sold.
Zonko's Joke Shop was located right next to Honeydukes, separated only by a residential house. The store had large glass windows, similar to the neighboring sweetshop, displaying various types of joke items.
As the four of them pushed open the door, a bell behind the door rang.
"Welcome!" Zonko set down his newspaper and stood up from behind the counter, greeting the four young customers with a friendly smile. He was a wizard in his forties, with an amiable expression on his face.
The joke shop had quite a variety of merchandise. Albert put away his umbrella and walked up to the display window, examining the items.
"Self-Answering Quill," Albert softly read the name of one particular quill.
"It's a quill designed to help you deal with annoying subjects. It can answer most of the questions for you," Zonko explained the quill's function to Albert in a humorous tone, like a skilled salesman.
"It does seem like a useful item," Albert replied casually, although he didn't think much of it. Zonko trying to sell him this thing was like giving reference answers to a top student.
He clearly didn't need it.
Next to it was a broomstick, and Albert read its description: "Berserker Broomstick."
When a wizard tried to fly on it, the broomstick would flip, sending the rider headfirst and performing crazy spins and sudden braking, throwing the person off in five different modes.
The broomstick could fly up to a maximum height of 3 meters.
It was merely a toy broomstick, priced at 15 Galleons.
Albert's face twitched as he turned to look at Fred, George, and Lee Jordan who were browsing props at the other counter. He walked over and saw a row of soaps with black spots inside the cabinets.
Frog Spawn Soap.
That was the description of the joke item. When you use it to wash, it gets dirtier the more you wash.
Next to these soaps were individual teacups. Albert didn't reach out to touch them because there was a label on them: Nose-Biting Teacup.
Once someone drank from this teacup, it would suddenly bite the person's nose and splash the hot tea inside.
Alright!
One wrong move, and even wizards would fall for it.
"What are you planning to buy?" Albert asked.
"Dungbombs," the twins replied in unison.
"Ton-Tongue Toffees and Skiving Snackboxes," Albert said, feeling a bit embarrassed to leave empty-handed, so he randomly picked a few candies.
Ton-Tongue Toffee was a hard candy that made you have a continuously swollen tongue for five minutes. As for the Skiving Snackboxes, they were shaped like little mice. Fred voluntarily tried one, and as soon as he took a bite, it emitted a high-pitched scream, as if he had actually bitten a small mouse. It scared him so much that his mouth opened wide, and the chewed candy fell to the ground.
"How's the taste?" Albert curiously asked.
"Not bad, just like regular candy."
"What did you buy?" Albert looked at Lee Jordan.
"I want to buy this," he pointed to a frisbee with sharp teeth.
"This is the Werewolf Frisbee." Zonko picked up one frisbee and threw it, and they all heard a roaring sound as it whizzed through the air. "Be careful when playing with this, don't get bitten."
He put a piece of paper into the frisbee's mouth, and with a blink of an eye, it tore the paper into shreds.
It had quite a bit of destructive power.
"I'll take a look to see if there's anything else," Lee Jordan said, feeling a bit disappointed as he looked at the price. Three Galleons for this thing, it wasn't cheap!
Before leaving, Albert bought two inflatable Screaming Skulls. These things were fist-sized, but once thrown, they would quickly inflate to human height and emit a scream that would startle people. When they exploded, they would release a white powder, leaving others with a face covered in it.
Lee Jordan, on the other hand, bought a Sticky-Expanding Hand. This item could stretch and contract at will. Once thrown, it would grab onto the nearest person's ear. Although it wouldn't hurt, when it retracted, it made a loud snapping sound, giving the other person a scare.
When the four of them left, they each carried a large paper bag filled with their purchases from Zonko's Joke Shop.
Lee Jordan also bought a bag of Dungbombs.
All three of them were curious why Albert didn't buy this item.
It was practically a must-buy item when visiting Zonko's Joke Shop.
"No, I'm not interested in that kind of thing," Albert said irritably.
Just by touching it, it would become dirty, and when thrown, it would explode into disgusting mud and emit a nauseating smell of rotten eggs.
It was like a biochemical weapon.
"Make sure you don't make the dormitory stink," Albert warned seriously.
"Don't worry, we'll definitely be careful. We bought these things to deal with Filch," George replied, still holding a grudge over having to clean bedpans.
"That place was great, right?" Fred asked with a smile.
"It was fantastic, a very fun place," Albert nodded in agreement. Suddenly, he remembered something and said, "You guys seem to really enjoy these prank items. Maybe, in the future, you could open a similar joke shop."
He remembered that the twins did indeed open a joke shop after graduating, and it was doing quite well.
"That's not a bad idea," the twins' eyes lit up. Unlike Albert, they had never really considered what they wanted to do in the future.
"I think you'll need to learn some good spells, as these items also involve some elements of alchemy," Albert reminded them as he picked up a candy and glanced at it.
"What about you?"
"I haven't decided yet." Albert was still considering his options. He had no intention of giving up on pursuing a career in finance in New York. After all, it was an easy job. Based on his accumulated experience and task rewards, he could easily max out his skill points in economics and finance by the time he graduated. It seemed more suitable for him to make money while lying down! Besides, the prophecy seemed accurate; he could predict the lottery numbers and win a hundred million dollars or something.
Hmm, a time converter seems good too. It would allow him to win the lottery anytime, anywhere.
By the way, it seemed like finance was a better way to make money.
Albert realized that using magic to make money sensibly was also a good idea, but the only problem was that if the Ministry of Magic found out, there might be trouble.
The prophecy might be a better option, as long as no one knew he was a Seer, there wouldn't be any issues.
Just as Albert was contemplating his grand plans for the future, the four of them walked into Honeydukes, even though the twins had emptied their pockets at Zonko's Joke Shop, they still wanted to take a look at the merchandise in the candy store and perhaps come back to buy candy when they had money.
(End of this chapter)
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