Chapter 82: Spy Games Ch. 3
Thor
(A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to Thor's Hammer)
"We're stopping for snacks."
That's all Agent Coulson said as he pulled us into a gas station on the way to our intended destination of New Mexico. We were making good enough time as it was, so I had no complaints. Getting out of the car as he did the same, I adjusted my suit and looked around. Given that we were traveling through more public areas, my leather SHIELD uniform was deemed too conspicuous, and I'd been given my own version of Coulson's attire for the duration of this mission.
Once the car was filled up we entered the store, Coulson bee lined for the snacks while I found myself stopping at the counter to flirt with the surprisingly attractive gas station attendant. Smiling, I pulled out a twenty to pay for the gas and handed it over to the blushing woman, "What's a beautiful lady like yourself doing out in a place like this?"
That line got me a blush, but I never did get a response to my question, as that was the moment honest to god robbers came barreling through the doors with guns drawn and angry shouts on their lips. I had to hold myself back for a moment, slowly raising my hands in submission, instead of just pulling their heads off their shoulders in a violent and messy display, as was my first instinct.
They made demands for my valuables and mentioned the car outside. That's when Coulson made himself known and for a split second both of the robbers instinctively focused on him. In that second I acted, moving fast but not too fast as I slipped between both of them, ripping their guns out of their hands and leaving broken fingers behind, before slamming the butt of each gun into the back of the would be robber's heads.
They dropped to the floor boneless in unison, and I just smiled as I flicked the safeties on and placed the guns on the counter. The attendant was wide eyed and open mouthed in shock and awe, but Phil recovered much faster than her, by simple virtue of being a badass.
Turning back around, he picked out his snacks, went to the counter, paid, and told the poor girl she should probably call the cops, and to keep the change. That got her to finally react, "W-what should I tell them?"
I smile and jump in there, stopping next to Coulson, "Tell them those Tae-Bo tapes really paid off."
And with that we left the gas station, though Phil was given me weird looks for hours afterwards. I had to wonder if he'd been thinking the line I'd said, right before I'd stolen it out of his mouth. I'd never used a character's lines like that before, especially not in front of them… but I had to admit, Agent Phil Coulson had some badass lines.
XxScenebreakxX
Thor
(The Crater in New Mexico)
As we looked down at the Crater where locals were gathering I couldn't help speaking up breathing in deeply through my nose, "Can you feel that?"
That stopped Coulson in the middle of his tracks, his phone out as he prepared to call this in, "What? Feel what?"
I enjoy the confusion on his face for a moment before I focus my attention on the center of the crater, where I know a certain hammer now sits, "A storm contained… overwhelming power, centered… down there."
I blink suddenly as if coming back to myself, "Ah, apologies… a part of my nature means I have a sense for things of mystical origin…"
He continues to stare at me for a long moment, "And that's supposed to mean?"
I adopt a sheepish smile and give a half shrug, "There is a source of power down in that crater, but for the moment it is contained and dormant. It has the capacity to be dangerous however. I would recommend separating the locals from it."
"That was always the plan." Is all I get in response, as the agent finally starts his call, "Sir. We found it."
I can't help the slow smile growing across my face. It stays there even as more SHIELD assets arrive and the area is cordoned off, the public told politely but forcefully to leave. Eventually, we stand before the object in question, the hammer that I knew would be here.
Despite the supposed professionalism of the organization, everyone present did give picking up the hammer at least one try while scurrying around setting up the impromptu outpost. The scientists made up some excuse about tests but I saw money exchange hands several times.
Even Phil gave it a half-hearted one handed attempt, smart enough to realize he wouldn't succeed where others had failed, but still willing to try. Afterwards he gave me a look, as if realizing I had no intention of doing so myself. A raised eyebrow from him was all the cue I needed to smile a mysterious smile and explain.
"I recognize this hammer sir. More importantly, I recognize the enchantment etched into the weapon's soul."
This gets a reaction, as he glances between the hammer and myself, and scientists close enough to hear what I'm saying stop whatever they're doing to hear me out. Coulson doesn't even spare them a glance as he focuses on me, "You recognize the what now? And what sort of… enchantment is this?"
I smile at his continued skepticism, "Now Agent, there's no need to think me a kook. Magic is merely another aspect of science. It just represents science that you don't understand yet. That said, the meaning of this enchantment is quite clear to me. Put frankly, 'Who so ever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.' Quite frankly sir, I know I'm not worthy."
That got Coulson's attention, and I could tell from the piercing look he gave me that Fury had informed him of my claims to knowledge of Asgardian aliens. A nearby scientist on the other hand knew none of that, and scoffed loudly at my claim, "You can't be serious. You think this is connected to the mythical Norse God of Thunder?"
I smile placidly at that, "Well, he's more of an Alien Prince but yes. And it is not just any old hammer connected to him. I do believe this to be Mjolnir itself."
This earns me a scoff from the disbelieving belligerent scientist. I can see some of his fellows are more open to the idea, even curious at the prospect, but also not willing to speak up for the moment. I just smile, considering the fact that in another world, the scientist would already be dead for even insinuating that I was lying. Ah, sometimes I really do miss it.
Phil on the other hand takes me aside as everyone else gets back to work and looks at me carefully, "If that is Mjolnir, where is Thor? The area seems rather devoid of either aliens or thunder gods."
I nod in agreement, "Indeed. If he isn't already on this world, he will be here soon to recover the hammer. I have no idea when or where he will show up."
He looks at me for one moment more before sighing, "Well that's just great. Fine, we'll keep an eye out for the alien prince while we deal with this clean up. Come on, there's a task in town that we need to take care of."
I just smile and nod, like the good little agent I am.
XxScenebreakxX
Thor
(Puente Antigo – Jane's lab)
"You!"
The smile is still on my face, though it grows a little toothy as Darcy Lewis sets eyes on me for the first time since I left her tucked into her bed covered in a combination of our sexual fluids. She's staring at me in a mixture of surprise, horror, and even a little arousal judging by the very faint blush growing on her cheeks.
Before her outburst, I was watching Doctor Jane Foster argue with Phil over the legality of SHIELD seizing all of her wormhole research. I was looking forward to her tone turning pleading, but then Darcy had laid eyes on me and interrupted their conversation. Now both of them were looking at us, Jane with confusion and Phil with a raised eyebrow.
Smiling, I step forward, "Hello Ms. Lewis, it's a pleasure to see you again. I wish it was under better circumstances."
Jane scowled and folded her arms over her chest, "You know this guy?"
That causes Darcy's eyes to widen as she stares at me and considers what sort of rabbit hole telling the truth would send her down, "Ah, well, that is…"
I chuckle lightly and interrupt her, directing my gaze to Coulson to make sure he understood the underlying implications even as I spoke, "Ms. Lewis was the first person I truly met after arriving in this country a few months ago. She was exceptionally helpful in making me feel welcome."
From the look in Phil's eyes I know he's gotten the first part of the message, the unspoken words that Darcy was the first human I'd interacted with after arriving on the planet. Jane on the other hand is drawn to the second half of my subtle wordplay and with all the bluntness of a woman scorned, in this case by an organization that was stealing her life's work, pointed a finger at me and said in an accusing tone, "You slept with the enemy?"
I smile and toss out a, "She did." before Darcy can get a word in edge wise.
Of course, this results in Darcy getting even more flustered and she ends up blurting out, "Yeah and the guy's a total psycho, the fucker drank my blood!"
Which of course I respond to by pointing a finger accusingly back at her, "You drank mine too!"
Her eyes bulge at my misrepresentation of the facts, "You stuck a bleeding finger down my throat and made me!"
Both Phil and Jane are staring at me now with varying degrees of condemnation and horror. I just shrug, "Well, I had to heal the bite wound didn't I?"
This leaves Darcy wordless and opening and closing her mouth in silence for several moments. Coulson looks about ready to pull a gun on me, and Jane has taken an actual step back, despite being a dozen feet away from me to begin with.
I sigh and roll my eyes, "Look, I can explain. As I said, Darcy here was the first human I ever really interacted with. An exchange of blood is perfectly natural amongst my people when copulating."
This causes confusion in Jane and Darcy, while Phil suddenly covers his face with his palm. A moment later Jane asks what they're both thinking, "Wait, you're an alien?"
I blink at that and take a moment to pretend to think about what I just said, while actually enjoying the way I was totally deflecting the whole drinking blood revelation, before sheepishly scratching my head and glancing at Phil, "Oops."
Jane looked skeptical but also hopeful, and Darcy's reaction was… mixed, her tone either ecstatic or horrified… or both, "Wait I fucked an alien?!"
I preempt Jane's skepticism by exposing my true face to her for a moment which just makes her go bug eyed. Phil finally takes back control of the situation when he steps up, "Alright, change of plans. We will not be taking your research from you Doctor Foster."
This immediately takes her attention away from me, even the chance of a real live alien coming second to her work, "You won't? Really?!"
Agent Coulson has a grim smile on his face now, "As of this moment, you and your assistant work for SHIELD. You're going to have to come with us now."
The hopeful smile immediately flees Jane's face as fear replaces it. All she can get out in response to that is a small, "What?"
Darcy on the other hand has the snappy one liner, "Wait, are we seriously being abducted by aliens now?"
Phil's grimace grows even more pronounced, "No Ms. Lewis, SHIELD is predominantly human and completely human run."
Not to be out done by anyone, even if I was sort of in the doghouse, I popped in with a smile and said, "So really, you're being abducted by one alien and his human masters!"
Jane's brow furrows in an adorable manner before she voices the thought that confuses her, "… Why does that make me feel better?"
All three of us just look at her for a long moment, and I can't help but pout a bit. Damnit, she had a much better last word than I did.
And that really was the end of the meaningful conversation. There was some more complaining and posturing. Phil tried to assuage their worries by stating that SHIELD were the good guys. Don't think it helped much, but at least Dr. Foster got her journal back and was able to escape into the depths of her notes as we picked up Erik Selvig and made our way back to the crater SHIELD was based in.
I figured I'd give Thor a day or two to hear rumors of the crater and find his way out here. Hopefully he didn't get himself arrested or anything along the way… on second thought it was actually pretty likely. In the end, I located the powerless Asgardian and made sure he overheard me talking about the Hammer to a pretty barista. From the way he perked up I knew I could count on him to show up at the site soon enough, so I made my way back there with a smile on my face.
-x-X-x-
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