Chapter 36: Balm

Adrian didn't understand why the Healers were so startled and wary of his answers.

They questioned him like he knew they would, and he responded according to the predetermined script he and his father had already created.

Yes, he had been living with his father. Yes, Bellatrix had shown up unexpectedly and kidnapped him so to speak.

With her lapse in sanity due to her imprisonment in Azkaban, the healers and mediwitches were being 'considerate' enough to not question him directly on the events leading up to the curse.

They had performed the counterspells, along with the nerve and muscle reconstruction spells. Unfortunately with the type of spells lightning curses were, and the act of cauterizing the skin itself, there was no chance to reverse the immense scarring; although they were able to lessen the angry red welts into more subtle red and purple scarring.

The scars altered the entire shape of his face- reducing the prominence of his cheekbones and casting the illusion of a more circular jaw. His green eyes popped eerily, more attention grabbing than his thin nose or familiar facial features.

It worked in all the best ways, and gave an excuse for why his body shook and trembled with the after effects of his dark magic splurging.

The Healers didn't like how he answered everything calmly and rationally. They didn't like how he didn't scream at night.

Then the mediwitch implied during one questioning, that perhaps Bellatrix had abused him in other ways.

Adrian had an outburst of anger, only partially fueled by the bone aching need that ran rampant in his blood. He had shouted, thrown his pillow and cursed vulgarities much more violently than a fourteen year old should have.

Remus, who was painfully awkward with children, made the entire thing slightly better by assisting Adrian with the first rehabilitation efforts once he awoke.

He was informed that both James Potter and Sirius Black visited him in the hospital, although Adrian sent them away instantly. They hadn't treated him well in his first year, they would be idiots to assume he didn't hold a grudge.

His nerves had been damaged severely- to the point the mediwitches doubted he would have complete control over his magic.

(Adrian mentally laughed and thanked his father for casting the curse himself, and not giving the task to Bellatrix)

Once the employees of St. Mungos were absolutely certain that he would be able to deal with any future rehabilitation efforts or medical procedures, he was signed for release.

He was discharged after four days, his wounds bandaged from where patches had blistered and were still interfering with his magical current.

From a lack of magical guardian, Adrian was taken care of by Remus who had used his title of Hogwarts Teacher as a temporary guardian.

Which, through a chain of events, led up to the single moment where Adrian was indulging himself by making up for his missed childhood.

Namely, by locking his door and refusing to come out.

"Adrian!" Remus shouted once again, the sound muffled by the weathered oak door, "Open this door! You haven't come out all day!"

Adrian rolled over on his bed, staring at the wall pensively. He stared at the cracks in the plaster until they blurred in his vision and created abstract pictures and faces.

Remus thumped once more- this one sounding significantly different. Adrian could well imagine the older man pressing his forehead to the door in a mixture of annoyance and exasperation.

"If you don't open this door," Remus paused in thought, "I'll ask James what to do."

Adrian snorted. Remus' sensitive hearing easily picked up the sound.

"Fine!" Remus argued back, scowling on the other side, "Maybe he'll bring Skylar!"

Adrian tensed. James Potter wouldn't.

He did.

Adrian heard the lighter feet of Skylar Potter running up the steps, running across the creaky wooden floor of Remus' shack of a house. If Adrian focused, he could hear the faint murmur of people talking down the hall in the main foyer.

Five fast knocks rattled Adrian's door, causing his teeth to itch and his hand twitch to pull his wand from under his pillow.

"Adrian!" Skylar Potter shouted, his voice had gotten deeper as well, "I... I know we're not friends but-"

Adrian couldn't help it, he laughed. It was a high pitched sound verging on hysteria, something completely acceptable for a boy tortured by a maniac.

"Friends?" Adrian echoed, barely aware of the hysterical tears that slipped from the corner of his eye, "Skylar Potter, I hate you."

Skylar paused on the other side of the door, then leant his entire weight against it. He slid to the ground, dark shadow from under the door slit.

"C'mon mate," Skylar's voice was lighter, "Come on out and we can floo Hermione..."

Adrian grabbed the nearest thing he could see- a porcelain mug Remus had offered him hot chocolate in. He let it fly, crashing and shattering against the door. It suitably scared Skylar, who jolted away from the wood.

The sound attracted someone else, heavy footsteps of an adult and a faster speed than Remus.

"Skylar?" James' voice was unmistakable, even through the wood, "You alright?"

"Fine dad." Skylar assured him, "Was being a bit rude, my bad."

James paused, obviously not sure and well experience with Adrian's snark, "You sure?"

"Fine," Skylar's voice was bright and Adrian could tell he was smiling, "I've got this."

How could Skylar Potter be so inherently good?

Adrian jolted to his feet, toes stinging pins and needles from his seated position for such a long time. He stalked across the wood, ignoring its obvious creaking to warn the others that he was nearing the door.

Adrian grasped the handle and flung it open, deactivating its privacy ward. Skylar fumbled forward, nearly getting hit by the fast moving doorknob.

"Why," Adrian nearly growled out, glaring at the backside of Skylar, "Don't you leave me alone?"

Skylar held his hands out and turned slowly, his mouth opened obviously in an awkward attempt to peacefully fix the situation.

Adrian was taller; he had to look down at Skylar.

Skylar met Adrian's eyes, then his eyes wandered.

They widened, his mouth dropped into a small shape of expressive horror.

Adrian's jaw twitched, and Skylar watched transfixed how it stretched the painful purple scaring over his cheekbone.

"What..." Skylar cleared his throat, not sure of how hoarse it had gotten, "What happened…."

Adrian smiled a wicked grin, it made his face look terrifyingly sick.

"You mean your dad, didn't tell you?" Adrian almost crooned, his expression sending the hairs on Skylar's neck standing upright, "This was a welcome home gift."

Skylar's face expanded into horror once again. Adrian found he rather liked the power that emotion gave him.

Then it switched to pity, and Adrian temper flared like the angry maw of a Chinese Fireball. His magic didn't react, but his fist did. It was painfully muggle, and he had no practice with melee combat to begin with; his knuckles cracked loudly and his thumb ground against his bone, threatening to snap. Skylar's jaw snapped to the side, but Adrian suspected he had done more damage to himself than to the Golden Boy.

Skylar gave a loud cry of pain, although it was mostly surprise. He fumbled to the ground, a jumble of gangly limbs he hadn't adjusted to yet.

Adrian fell with him, nursing his throbbing hand close to his face. Adrian noted the way Skylar paled when he saw the fine reddish blemishes continued down the back of his hand.

"Sweet Merlin," Skylar shuddered, hesitating before he cautiously pulled down on the neck of his shirt, stretching it beyond the point of return.

"I know it's not the same..." Skylar paused, tugging further to reveal the fine white scar directly over his heart, "but I have one too..."

Skylar thought that the tiny mark over his heart- a flesh wound, could dare compare to everything Adrian had endured?

Adrian saw red.

It was blur of movement and disorientation. Adrian couldn't hear- he couldn't see. He felt the stinging tingle of his scars itching, his magic boiling and tugging on the Keloid tissue in attempts to heal what could not be fixed.

Adrian's head snapped around when large hands and arms snagged him under his armpits, yanking him up off the ground and for a split second, he was entirely weightless.

Then he crashed to the ground, skidding across wooden floor as sensations returned quickly.

"-rian!"

Adrian blinked, stumbling backwards on his elbows as he clumsily tried to get to his feet- struggling at how his body stung.

"Adrian!" Remus tried again, relief spreading across his face briefly, "Thank Merlin; I don't know what happened but your curse scar activated..."

"What?" Adrian asked dumbly, looking past the werewolf where Skylar was sporting a large burn across the bridge of his nose and cheekbone, narrowly missing his eye. James was holding him securely, face stony with the professionalism of auror's having seen this before.

"A curse scar," Remus explained, lowering himself to kneel on one knee and soften his voice, "When very dark magic is used, often it leaves behind scars which can temporarily manifest similar magic to what was cast. Didn't the healers talk to you?"

James nodded stiffly, "Assuming your curse was the lightning curse, it was activated by whatever Skylar said or whatever you felt."

"Dad," Skylar urged, knocking aside James' wand with a small pout, "It was me. I showed him my own scar-"

"You what?" James gaped, "Skylar Charlus Potter, you know the risks of exposing curse scars to one another..."

"Are you alright?" Remus asked quietly, directing Adrian's attention away from the parental scolding Skylar was receiving, "We haven't had an incident with Skylar's scar, but it's possible it reacted to your own."

Adrian knew that wasn't the case.

"I'm fine," Adrian shrugged, curling his shoulders inwards as he locked his jaw, "I didn't like the way he looked at me."

"Unfortunately," Remus smiled dryly, the expression tugging on the disfiguration of his cheek, "People tend to stare."

Remus stood slowly, rising from his half kneeling position. He offered one hand to Adrian, weathered and calloused.

"Come along," He smiled gently, "We'll see what my kitchen has for food."

"I don't suppose you have house elves?" Adrian asked, accepting the hand and pulling himself to his feet, hunking slightly under James Potter's cautious look.

Remus chuckled lightheartedly, "None of that here. Anything we're eating we're making with our own hands- or paws." He winked playfully.

"Remus," James spoke cautiously, giving a pointed look at Adrian, "Is that really the best..."

"He knows, James." Remus sternly stated, "He's a rather intelligent boy, he figured it out on his own. A genius with magic creatures, it baffles me how he apparently performed so poorly when you taught."

"I didn't," Adrian interjected monotonously, "He just never liked me."

James flushed and had the decency to look embarrassed.

"It's true though!" Skylar defended, "Hermione says he's a textbook! And that came from Hermione!"

James Potter crossed his arms and shifted his weight, "Well, in that case, I owe you an apology, Mr. Selwyn."

Adrian tilted his chin slightly in a polite nod.

"Well then," Remus cleared the air, "Perhaps sandwiches for lunch?"

Remus was a decent cook, although there wasn't that much involved with creating simple sandwiches. Nonetheless, Skylar and his father gorged themselves on sliced meat and cheese layered between rye bread. Adrian's father hated rye.

He did notice large amounts of meat in Remus' food keeper, which amused him a great deal.

"Where's your snake?" Skylar blurted, holding the uneaten crusts in his hand, "The uh, the big one."

Adrian tensed and gently set his sandwich down on his plate. "I only have one snake, Potter."

"Hey, play nice." James frowned, pointing between the two, "He was just curious. I didn't know you had a pet."

"Oh..." Remus breathed softly, clinking his elbow on the table as he rubbed his eyes and forehead with his hand, "Oh, I am so sorry, Adrian."

Adrian looked at his fingers and tore the bread apart.

"What?" James paused, "What is it Moony?"

"Adrian is a rather gifted child in that he has a familiar," Remus' voice was strained.

Skylar jolted in surprise, "Isn't that rare? Isn't that like, impossible, dad?"

James blinked in alarm, and looked at Remus sternly, "Unless he's been tested..."

"James," Remus sounded tired.

Adrian didn't look up as the torn bits of bread were clumped into a ball and rendered inedible.

"Moony-" James struggled before he lowered his voice to a rushed hiss, "If he isn't tested then it can't be a confirmed familiar! They only occur after the age of..."

"Look at the exceptions!" Moony growled back, his voice deep and uncharacteristically fierce, "Look at all notable cases in which prepubescent familiar's have been recorded-"

"You can't assume that is applicable in this situation! Just because he was abused doesn't mean-"

"Abused?" A small confused voice asked, causing the table to become awfully quiet.

The unsettling wad of rye bread was now being molded into a flattened rock.

"That's not true, right dad?" Skylar asked in horror, turning and looking at James with some sort of longing, "Right dad? That's not true? Right?"

His voice broke, crackling awkwardly in sure sign of distress and teenage adolescence.

"Sky," James Potter sunk, realizing his guilt now at having said such a private thing in front of his son, "Sometimes bad things happen to good people-"

Adrian snorted, loudly. He stood forcefully, seething with an ugly scowl pulling the edges of his scars.

"Are you serious?" He growled slowly, hands curling into fists as something desperately raw tore inside him, "Are you bloody serious?"

"Adrian-" Remus started, sliding his chair back and standing slowly to not set the younger boy off.

"Oh Skylar, I am so sorry for the terrible burden you have as the Chosen One." Adrian's voice shook, "It must be simply horrid to have so many dark witches and wizards constantly almost killing you. And all that wretched fame and glory, it must be simply too much."

"Adrian," Remus tried again, trying to stop the tide of words.

Adrian didn't stop.

"Do you cry when Witch Weekly catches a photo of you with your shirt untucked? Do you have to sign autographs every time you wander freely in Diagon?"

Skylar was paling, his complexion turning nearly sickly and his eyes glassy. Adrian's throat burned and his breaths weren't satisfying his need for air.

"What a terrible weight you have to carry alone, you wouldn't wish something as awful as your life on anyone."

Adrian was spun by a warm hand between his shoulder blades. He didn't think, he reacted and ducked his face into the soft brown robes with a fraying edge and missing button.

He couldn't hear, he only gasped for breaths as his breathing hitched and his throat created the most unbecoming sounds.

"You should go," Remus spoke softly, his words vibrating through his chest and against Adrian's shaking form.

Adrian didn't look to see if they left, he only clung on and shook with the rising panic and anxiety of the situation.

What was happening? Generally Lutain was near or he would circle around with cold scales and reassure-

He struggled to find his occlumency barriers and drag them upwards, dispelling the dangerous riptide of his loathing into temperamental mist.

He was sitting on a couch, tucked under the thick warmth and weight of a woolen blanket, hand knit and beginning to unravel on certain stitches.

Remus appeared, balancing a vial of something soft blue and two steaming mugs of likely tea. Adrian didn't drink tea.

"Here..." Remus shuffled, placing one mug on a nearby table and balancing the other as he fished for the vial, "I have access to a supply of calming draughts- yours I mean. I have to regulate them since you're under aged and St. Mungo's is very strict with those rules."

"Right," Adrian blinked, dazed at how he had suddenly appeared on a couch of all places, "Calming draught." His stomach was still churning and threatening a reappearance of the sandwiches.

"I brought along tea as well," Remus offered, "And warmed cider, I wasn't sure which you would prefer."

Adrian fumbled with the stopper for the calming draught, picking at the seal with broken fingernails.

"Why?" He asked quietly, voice hoarse and rough, "Why are you being nice?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Remus countered, stifling a sigh as he settled into a deep chair across the room, nursing his cup of tea with both hands.

"Why me? Why are you being nice to me of all people?"

"Well," Remus started calmly, "I see no difference between you, or your classmates, or even a stranger."

"I was raised by Bellatrix," Adrian stressed, the name sounded hollow. His hands trembled and he inhaled wetly, "I could have been raised to kill you."

Remus took a sip of his tea and nodded.

"I could have been raised to kill Potter." Adrian tried again, desperate in his attempt to scare the man.

"You could have been," Remus agreed, with the faintest glimmer of sympathy, "And if you were, I would give you freedom to live away from expectations or requirements. I would give you an opportunity to follow what you want to do, and not what you were raised to do."

"No," Adrian argued, his voice cracked entirely as the beginning gathering of tears formed, "You shouldn't- you shouldn't be nice to me then-"

"Adrian," Remus started, placing his mug aside so he could lean forward with his elbows on his knees, "You told me you were adopted, by Bellatrix."

He was, he had told him that. It was true...

"It wasn't your fault." He spoke softly, "That you were left there. That you were abandoned by your birth parents- it wasn't your fault."

Adrian's heart stopped.

"I don't know anything about them, and I don't want to even think about the unspeakable mistake they made," Remus continued, voice firm and somehow, his words shone like a lighthouse in the middle of a raging storm, "but Adrian, know that it wasn't your fault. There isn't anything wrong with you, it wasn't your fault."

"No." Adrian shook his head, why couldn't Remus see? He should- Adrian was dangerous, he shouldn't be- "No, no...no..."

"It wasn't your fault Adrian," He repeated carefully, "and I'll tell you that every day for however long it takes for you to realize that. You weren't abandoned because of who you are. It wasn't your fault."

Adrian shattered.