After Gray had learned about Will, he'd been careful on how he approached anything new in the weeks that followed. He wanted to push the envelope beyond missionary but wasn't interested in a repeat of the night he tried to take me from behind. I appreciated his understanding, and at times, he coddled me. I wanted to grow, move past the barriers I'd held on to. My psychiatrist believed our exploration was healthy and encouraged me to continue as long as I felt comfortable, but that was just it, I wasn't sure where to draw that line. So we'd agreed to explore together-the trust this required from me was enormous. I struggled with disconnecting the abuse I'd witnessed Will endure, from a healthy sex life.
Gray came in the door with a black plastic bag. I knew he was up to something. I gave him a kiss on the lips, and asked, "What's in the bag?"