Chapter 29: Twenty-nine: Priscilla
On the way back, I caught a glimpse of the Bosky soldier. When I looked again, he was gone. Instead, angry stares were boring into my head from other directions. I scanned my surroundings and spotted a tired looking office worker with his head down. The eyebrow tic and five o'clock shadow gave him away. He really needed another disguise, although I had to admit. This disguise did suit him pretty well.
If he was here and not on the other side of the trainline, that meant the Bosky soldier had lied to me from the start. Not that I had ever really expected him to tell the truth. I had hoped though.
I observed my surroundings more closely but they were gone. Even the Bosky disguised as an office worker was gone. I could still feel their eyes on me. From above? An apartment window perhaps? They seemed to have some evil intentions toward me. Why? What had I done?
Running, I dodged around the busy home time streets that weren't anywhere as busy as they used to be. I waved to Lamb and caught up with the Compound travelling people from my office. Priscilla was the only one who noticed my presence and she nodded at me.
I gave her a small smile but she turned back to face the front.
Ah, well. Sometimes it was nice to know that I wasn't completely ignored and invisible. Anyway, Katja had made my day by giving me that running hug. I was going to miss her even more than I already had.
After a few days, Priscilla, being ignored by the others as well but for different reasons, started hanging around me more. Maybe she was feeling lonely too. But she was meant to be a government agent. She could have been moved elsewhere. Was she just hanging around to keep a closer eye on me?
It was just another stab in the eye that said 'Big Brother' was watching me. I was being watched all the time these days. It was tiring.
I missed having a television, a mobile phone to play on and surfing the internet on my computer to pass the time. At least we still had computers and the internet at work but what we did with our internet access was so closely scrutinised I didn't dare make a move. The obvious, official spyware all over everything that shouted 'Big Brother is watching you' was too much of a threat to be missed. I was good at hacking but there's always someone in the world out there that is better. And you never knew exactly who might be watching you. Or at least I couldn't find out with so many restrictions in place.
They were still looking for Bosky spies and I wanted to help. Help prove I wasn't one of them. If only I had unrestricted access, I'd show them what I could do. As things were, it'd be like trying to fish a needle out of a haystack of laser trip beams with nothing but a thin, inflexible wire if I did try to do anything.
Sometimes, I wanted to hammer my fists against the locked doors in front of me and kick it down. I wanted to holler and yell and cry. But I didn't. Couldn't. It was important to stay strong. Keep my wits about me. Hold my temper, because if I let it out, I might just fall apart.
Chin up. Keep walking. Keep smiling. Patience. Tolerance.
In a way, Priscilla's obvious attempts to wriggle her way into my good books were a good distraction. It kept me from thinking too much about the strange feeling of my impending doom's imminent arrival. I hadn't done anything wrong and yet, somehow I knew I wasn't going to be able to escape. I had tried everything I knew to try and convince Priscilla but ultimately, decisions weren't up to her. Convincing her wouldn't lead anywhere. It was her superiors' superiors that I needed to convince and there was no good way I could think of to go about that.
But sometimes the irritation of her presence was too much and I would snap at her. Then I would feel bad for seeming so mean when that was all the others did to her. Poor girl. She couldn't help being such an inexperienced rookie.
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