The Blue Lock Masterpiece [Draft]

LV 2

Cursed_w0lf4

I'll start of with something positive. - The character design is really creative and realistic it nearly perfectly portrays the characters that are set. I just love that about the fic. - The grammar is noticeable better than the average slop a random like this author would post. His writing has surpassed my expectations when I saw this fic. - Storyline has a good baseline and plot. Pretty solid and can probably make the fic last 50-100 chapters if the author pushes it. - I also like the story it's been quite a cinematic experience if I must say. Now the negative. - While the format of speech is nice I find it highly ineffective. You cannot tell what the character is feeling unless you really focus. I would suggest moving to " so that you are able to create a better reader friendly experience. - I would like for less speech. I feel like every movement he takes is either described by someone else or himself. - Improve the descriptive writing please, not enough being said there this links to my point above. I would also like some thoughts of Koji occasionally(ones he doesn't voice). - Also because you are a new writer I think. It's not the easiest to read. You might need to take some pointers from a few sources. if you are wondering whether or not to read this book then I would recommend it to those who aren't to bothered by a different way of writing. It is a bit fast paced but nothing that is detrimental towards the story and has decent grammar. But just lacks that flow that you see in experienced writers. Writing Quality: 🌟🌟🌟 Story development: 🌟🌟🌟 Character design: 🌟🌟 Update stability(as of now): 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 World Background: 🌟🌟 Rating of 2.8/5

LV 3

Zacky_Bilnadzary

i like it, but the writing format makes it kinda hard for me to read, especially if its a 'thought' dialogue. as an advice, maybe try use italic to differentiate between a normal dialogue and thought. Keep up the good work author 👍👍👍👍