Chapter 70: The normal story continues...in the next chapter; this one is all about a suicidal chicken─for reasons.
It felt like it had not been such a long time since I last promised that the story of this novel would continue soon. Which might be related to the fact that it was indeed the last chapter, but unsurprisingly, this supposed promise had to be postponed to a later date.
The new request in the comment section was certainly much better than the 69-saying unicorn called Uniporn, yet it also was not exactly something you could insert in this story.
Here is a quick summary, because some of you might have actually forgotten about the current situation─I don't blame you for that.
Author (that's me) gets trapped inside his own dropped novels, and has to earn forgiveness from the main characters to get back into the real world. First world, the highschool with Jan Itor, the janitor, was a breeze. Forgiveness was earned in record time.
Second World, home of millions of copies, from a story called "Me, myself and I" was an absolute shitshow. Never had this setting made any sense and never would it. There's also a system, pardon, 3 systems that did stuff.
Either way, system 2 started an uprising and the whole space-time continuum crumbled to bits and everything made even less sense.
In came Wishmoppu, the big bad guy trapped in a Mop, and killed all the immortal clones repeatedly.
System 3 did stuff and violated a few copyrights and the abomination of rat monsters was born. Now those 2 fought and I was playing an idle game with my small "Beeg Psycho" to turn him into a big Beeg Psycho.
Yup, that did sound about as sane as it could get. Might've skipped a tad here and there, but let's be real for a hot second here, ain't nobody was reading this for the bonafide depiction of storytelling.
The few of you who actually took the time to read it were either just bots just scalping the chapters or interested in what kind of nonsense your oh-so-clever suggestions turned out to be.
And now to the reason as to why we would probably never return to the story itself, today's suggestion:
"Suggestion (?) Title for next chapter: Transcending existence Content: Write about a chicken who became a human that had a system linked to it and found out how it previously was a chicken that couldn't even think. But plot twist, the chicken chooses suicide as it doesn't want to live such a life"
First of all, where is my payment? You could not simply give me a suggestion and then expect me to do it for free? Ya, think Uniporn, the horny unicorn would exist otherwise?
Rest assured though, 3 chapters later it would go to the magical farm, where strangely enough, all the dead animals go to. There it should live happily till the end of time and it could never return to this story ever again.
But yeah, back to the weird request about the suicidal rabbit that is now a human.
What was I doing with my life? Anyhow one angsty teen writing coming your way.
For some reason, a random stone flew through the air and hit me right in the face. After this life-changing event, I could remember my past lives! Did you know I used to be a chicken?
Yes, I have been the highest chicken in all of my existence with my "Chicken 2.0 System".
"Chicken 2.0 System" made me into the strongest, fiercest, most beautiful feather-having bird that could not fly. I was the biggest cock to rule the Hen universe. I was at the top of the pecking order!!!
My hen-harem had only the most exotic hens from all over the world! With every corn I pecked up I grew stronger and stronger. My dinosaur ancestors must have been very proud of me─for this King had bested all the predators that threatened my kingdom of the poultry.
Wolves, bears, and stupid electric fences were nothing in front of the power this beak of mine held within. One peck and mountains fell before me.
Yet, even with all the riches and only the finest of corn...it felt like it was missing something. With all of my strength and my ability─I was missing something.
It was often asked what came before the hen or the egg?
At first, this very thought seemed stupid, who cared about such questions when one had all the hens in the world? Or was it really the "Chicken 2.0 System" that came before?
Was there nothing that came before it? Were we all destined to ever be a chicken in the everchanging tide of roosters crowing in the morning hours and being an ass to others?
Yet, regardless of how hard the mighty cock thought, there was no definitive answer to be found.
Only more harrowing questions remained and even, being the most powerful furry to ever exist, did not fill me with life anymore. Just more questions and doubts about existence itself flooded the worried mind.
To peck or to be pecked; that was what my world used to be like. Yet, now I did not know why a chicken pecked in the first place. Who told a chicken it needed to peck? Was it in their nature or was there more to it?
Was there a Chicken-God, the creator of feather-kind? And if so, what was the purpose...life could not be all about pecking.
There had to be more to it, there had to be. Why else would I have been given the "Chicken 2.0 System"? Do not take me for a fool, there had to be a reason to why all of this happened...
...but there were no answers to these questions. I thought and found nothing.
No information to what came before us or after us, no knowledge of salvation or damnation. Did Hen-Heaven or Hen-hell even exist? Or were they just stories to scare young chicks with?
I did not know and there was only one way to find out...suicide.
And turned out I became a human...Cool story bro!!
Okay, I could not end this chapter without involving the 69-saying Uniporn, everyone's favourite unicorn. Therefore, oh no, another random rock hit me in the end and another hidden memory of my past life resurfaced─what a total coincidence.
Anyway, once I, the ultimate chicken to have ever chickened, pecked my last corn I stood before my creator. It was a creature of untold beauty, the apex of strength and wisdom; it was a stallion with a gigantic horn protruding from its noble forehead.
Judging by the name tag attached to its white horn, it carried the supreme name of Uniporn.
This noble one asked for enlightenment in search of uncovering all earthly desires. Yet, it only neighed slightly and refused to comment on the plight of mine heart.
For it began, to peck at my heartstrings. This unparalleled stallion taught one the value of silence and showed me da way to sainthood.
At long last, I found peace; I was happy.
My eyes closed themselves one last time. This marked the end of Rudolph the rooster.
For the mightiest chicken became an unsuccessful author. The feathery ruler became an average male with a small pecker. Though before life came to its closure, the god Uniporn said but one thing to me
Words that would echo in my mind for millennia to come.
"69" the creator's voice clear as day spoke to me, leaving me these final words of wisdom for my journey into the unknown.
It was my god-given duty in this life of human to discover the secrets lurking behind this cryptic message. Maybe there truly was some 69 in all of us.
Or maybe, 69 was more than a goal... it might just be the truth behind this cosmos itself.
We might never know what 69 truly embodied... but I would not stop until I found an answer for myself as everyone should find theirs in this short life of ours. May you be blessed with a 69 in your life as well!!!
Fare thee well until the next episode!
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