Chapter 66: Raid-Boss Wishomoppu (11)-Gigantic Abomination (1)
Not thinking had been the best decision I had ever made. Everything was so much more enjoyable now that the voice inside of my head was not questioning the logic behind everything.
Think about it, I mean don't think about it for a second... everyone, who would use their brain would also die. So, by emptying my head of everything I had practically become immortal, right?
Whether or not that kind of thinking did make some sense, was of no concern to me. Since making sense out of this kind of thought process would require the active participation of the organ trapped inside my skull─and we can't have such a thing.
Rats getting slaughtered and a sentient Mop on a rampage were the only relevant things.
Everything else offered nothing aside from useless worries about the fate of the world or the future itself. Who needed those anyway? After all, it was not very entertaining to have sad feelings.
So, why not just stop feeling sad and be happy instead. Life was that easy; the key to eternal happiness lay in watching rats being slaughtered. Any day where these tiny things exploded and gave off a colourful organ fountain was a good day.
For a second, I was thankful that P*ta was not present to demonstrate against this animal cruelty, but that too was illegal, so I stopped remembering instantaneously. Luckily for anyone involved, nobody would know about the crime I had nearly just committed.
For now, all that my brainless head needed to do was describe what happened in front of my eyes.
Here we go...
Wishmoppu shot out its laser killing them rats with a deadly efficiency. More rats were spawned and toasted soon after. Different rats began to appear. This one wore a space helmet and this one carried guns with it.
The outfit change did not yield any good results as the overpowered laser tore through the abomination as a hot laser would usually cut through rats.
Some more weird looks were thrown into the Blob. One of them wore medieval armour, some other one wore a bikini, and there was one that carried a fan.
The results did not change one bit.
Though they did look fancy as hell when they died horribly. Nobody could take that away from them. Nobody had ever been as stylish as them in the face of death.
It was not hard to be a shining star surrounded by all sorts of filth. Concentrated laser fire made them the very short-lived star of a lightshow they would definitively never forget.
It was literally to die for. One could only hope though that their moment in the spotlight was them living the dream, just with a lot less "living" afterwards. Couldn't be burned out from something, when your charred remains could never be found.
What a big brain strategy─nvm sorry for bringing up the forbidden word again. I swear, it would never happen again.
Nobody would want the readers of WN to feel bad, because theirs had stopped working years ago. Harem and smut-overload was a serious disease without a cure. Today, we remember and honour all the lost brain cells by not using ours as well.
This was not about the WN readers themselves, no, today we would learn how good we had it. How good it truly was to still have a functioning something upstairs.
At the very least, we had more activity than one neuron going "WEEEE" in response to the word boobs. Of course, our thigh and ass guys were of a much higher class cuz their trigger word was much more sophisticated.
Good, now back to describing the action scene... Where did I even leave off?
Ah, yes!!! The rats in sexy outfits got donezo by an onslaught of laser guns.
Yup, that was it. How could I have forgotten such an epic, almost memorable situation? Hah, this time I would not fall for the trap and think about this. I have read social media for years; I had perfected the Dao of the stupid.
Nothing in this wide world could trick me anymore. I was invincible. My head was empty and much like the comment section beneath each chapter, it would always stay empty.
Look, what do we have here? Was this a rat with a picture of my face on it? Yes, what a strange development...it might be trying to say something, yet I ain't listening to a random rat, which had appeared out of thin air.
Even if one of them would grow a penis out of their forehead and dear God, there it came... I would not be swayed from my task of doing nothing at all.
it did not take a high IQ to understand that the laser was not very healthy to the dickhead-rat. One second later, dickhead-rat-san had been removed from the surface of this planet. Its life had been very hard and equally stiff.
Aside from the usual jokes about penises did you not notice that your trust in me has already been betrayed? Yes, I have done an unspeakable crime... I have lied to all of you.
...there never had been a rat-san with a manhood on its forehead. It was all something, I made up to entertain you guys. I was very sorry and apologize profusely for lying about such an important detail.
How could one live any longer, knowing that dickhead-rat-san was nothing more than a lie?
Thankfully none of us was using their grey cells currently, else we would all feel many not-so-nice emotions about my betrayal. Let us all just forget about the evilest crime of mine and blissfully think about nothing at all.
Good, good my dear readers. Simply forget everything...while you are at it give me all of your powerstones as well, I needed to use my timeskip-scrolls to get outta here.
.....
Never mind, forget about the forgetting stuff I told you before. For some reason, and no that could not even be explained by using our neuronal network, there had been rats with all sorts of primary sexual organs on their forehead... including one gigantic schlong.
Meaning, I did not lie to you guys; it was more of a prophecy. Yes, that was it─I am a medium that can see into the most perverted future out there. Please refrain from using your brain and simply believe in this divine ability.
There were also some really big bitties and some jiggly butt cheeks to find, but no touching. Unless they give consent. Which seemed quite hard since rats could not actually talk. And given the average lifespan of such a rat was about three seconds there was not a whole lotta time to agree...
Lasers were, without a doubt, not very healthy for these creatures.
Though, I still had to say... was it really necessary to plant these things onto a rat? It just seemed needlessly cruel compared ot the other stuff? Think about a rat in a bikini what you want, but jeez a penis transplanted to the forehead that was going way too far.
Why exactly was the wiener so much bigger than mine?
Was it really necessary to taunt me just like that, huh? "Hahaha, look at the rat-san with a mighty meat-sword on its forehead. It's funny cuz it's much bigger, than what the author has in his pants"
The System was such a dick, for embarrassing me in front of the one reader I had. I wanted nothing more than peace, but it chose violence. No prisoners were taken today and no mercy was shown.
I was emasculated by the sheer presence of this meat-based python.
Let's be real for a hot second...that thing truly was massive. Must have been some sort of world record before its wearer suddenly lost 3 kilos without any diet.In less fancy terms, I do not think the man behind the schlong was willingly separated from it─just saying
Press F for our eunuch.
May his soul rest in peace knowing that his schlong's soul would be returned to him. But only in the next chapter...
That's the best transition I could make out of a topic like that, gimme a break. Enjoy the upcoming chapter, which would be a very normal chapter...
*cough*
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