Chapter 74: Title at the end
I found myself in a jungle and with no memory of how I got here. My strongest memories were of attacking Species 8472 right before they could destroy Voyager, and a hazy bit where I woke up after being cured and they could not get to the Borg terminals... The pieces fell into place, and I could only sigh angrily since there was nothing that I could do if I was 'here'.
"Rebecca? Is that you?" a familiar voice asked from behind me.
I turned around and saw none other than Raven. "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing. I stopped your assimilation process before he took me away," Raven retorted.
"It is because there were still some of your nanoprobes that survived wiping out the Borg controlled ones. With no more enemies to fight, they reverted back to their original programming with one exception, she is in a Collective with you alone, but a part of you is also connected to the Borg Collective, so if you lose your mind completely to them, Rebecca will be next," a woman's voice explained from my left.
Raven and I both turned to look at the human looking woman with red hair, and freckles, that was wearing a forest green sundress. I knew that I recognized her, but I was not sure from where... she was not a character, yet I kept feeling that she was from the show.
"That's because my appearance is that of the actress who played the Borg Queen in the show. Istar created me to manage this Domain and help train Raven during her time here," the woman said.
"Then you are an Item Spirit like Fae?" Raven asked.
"Something like that," she replied with a hint of a smile. "You may call me Susanna. One of my duties is to assist the two of you and explain about the changes that you have undergone."
"Then I'm Borg now?" I asked with confusion.
"Yes, but no. You are not connected to the Borg Collective currently, but their technology has rooted itself in your body. Voyager's doctor does not have the skill to remove it from your body, nor does Katye or Danara, for now, but if Katye is determined to remove it from you, she can get there within a year or two by my understanding. The Borg technology inside of you will obey your commands as it is under Raven's command still, but if she fully loses herself to the Collective, you will be linked as well. Of course, you can remove her control of the technology over time, but that will separate you from her and this place."
I glanced at my hands, which made the woman chuckle.
"This is a Mental Plane like the one that your Mind Linkers employ, but on a much grander scale. Your changes aren't present here, but I can assure you that they are more minor than what Seven of Nine was left with. Most Borg undergo extensive body modification throughout their time with the Collective which you obviously haven't. For that matter, you, Raven, are in a similar situation as the Borg Queen needs your body intact to study your mana."
"What happened, Raven? My last memories were of trying to get to Seven on the Bridge," I asked.
"She injected you... and then Sancu came to pay for the favor that he owed me. He was the one who cut Seven's connection to the Collective and even brought you to me because I agreed to his offer so fast. Me for you... though he mentioned that I was always destined for the Collective," she replied with a bitter smile.
"Raven..." I said softly before she covered my lips with a finger as she closed the distance between us.
"It was my choice and my turn to save you for a change," she chided lightly as she nestled into my arms, which had circled around her unconsciously when she was close enough.
"You two have a few hours before your regeneration cycles end, so relax and enjoy each other's company; you two won't always sync up like this. The path that way leads to a ledge that lets you overlook the Domain. If you need me, just call out my name and I'll appear," Susanna said.
"Thank you," Raven said.
Susanna nodded before walking off, and we were left alone. I rested my forehead against Raven's and sighed lightly as I ran my fingers through her hair.
"Thank you for saving me," I said softly after a few minutes of silence.
Raven chuckled and kissed me then retorted, "Just returning the favor."
I smirked and gave her another kiss, though tame. We walked hand in hand down the path that Susanna had pointed out and found the iconic view from the show. Trees covered the mountains that circled the river delta which emptied into a bay with an island. Several white structures popped out of the green, and the yellow-sand beaches framed the crystal-blue water that stretched out into the horizon. I had to say that it was even prettier than I had imagined, but I did not really feel happy seeing it because of what it meant.
"Echo is going to kill me when I wake up from here," I sighed after ten minutes of sitting silently with Raven on the edge of the bluff.
"Yeah," Raven replied without lifting her head from my shoulder. "She acts tough, but she's alone right now... Katye is unconscious, I'm gone, and you are now part Borg. I'm actually more worried about Voyager than you, since Katye won't be waking up anytime soon."
"Your concerns are noted," I said dryly, before sighing heavily. "I really fucked things up this time... If I had just let her go instead of insisting for her to stay with Katye, this wouldn't have happened... If I had let her help..."
"Your stubbornness is a double-edged sword at times, Love. I understand it, even Echo does, but it doesn't make us feel any less inferior when you hold us back. We need to make our own mistakes and grow," Raven said with a weak chuckle.
"I'm sorry... It's my fault that you were assimilated."
"Perhaps, but Sancu already said that I was the predicted person to be assimilated, so it would have happened one way or another. Just promise me that as long as I'm able to hold back from the Collective, you won't give up on me, but if I start to weaken, you must remove your connection to me. I sacrificed myself to keep you from the Borg, so you can't let that go to waste. I know that you aren't going to abandon me, but you have a job to do and other people to protect, yet you can't do it alone, Becca. I know that you were forced to become our shield when we first started our journey, but if you don't let us help you, why are we here?" Raven retorted, sitting up straight.
I rubbed the back of my neck and looked down since I knew that she was right. This whole situation played out because I chose to confront Seven arrogantly, despite being in an obviously weakened state. Echo might have been assimilated, sure, but it was much more likely that she would have been able to subdue her. I can say that I wanted her to protect Katye, but ultimately, I had kept her out of the fight since I could go instead. I had not changed since I came here, it seemed.
"You're right," I sighed. "I need to change... Trying to control everything really isn't my core as the Embodiment of Chaos."
She smirked lightly at my words, understanding my meaning. I knew what I needed to do, but following through was difficult, since I could not change my mindset that I was trying to protect them. From Raven and my first days together, forty-seven teenagers had died because I did not want to step into the leadership role which I had never forgotten. I had a lover die in my arms, and I watched a friend experience the same thing, all because of the changes that I had caused. Now that I was strong enough to handle most situations on my own, I was determined to keep everyone else away from the danger to not risk them, but that was stunting their growth.
"It's hard. I want to say that I've been trying, but have I really? All I can say is that I'm sorry, which I'll also say to Echo too, but whether she'll listen is another matter... though it doesn't mean anything if I don't start showing her," I added after a few moments.
"Take care of them for me. I know that I spend most of my free time working on something or training, but it doesn't mean that I don't love those minutes with everyone... and don't forget L'Naan. Tell her what you can of why I'm gone," Raven said, tracing the side of my face with her fingers.
"Of course," I replied as I placed a hand over hers.
"Sorry to interrupt, but the outside world is calling you, Rebecca. It seems that there are some impatient people waking you up forcibly," Susanna said, appearing behind us.
"I should have kept my mouth shut for at least an hour," I complained.
Raven chuckled and kissed me. "Yeah, you should have."
I chuckled as well and deepened our kiss until I felt my consciousness being pulled away...
"You still have five hours here if you would like to start your training?" Susanna said to Raven.
"I guess," Raven sighed since she saw little point in training, as it would be impossible to catch up to Rebecca and Katye now.
"Are you so sure that this is your end? What if I told you that if you survive until they are forced to collapse this Domain and a year after that, you could gain the strength of the Collective which would catapult you to Rebecca's and Katye's level of strength? Do I have your interest now?" Susanna asked, reading her mind.
Raven smiled and replied, "I'm all ears."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My eyes opened slowly and I blinked a few times. I was in Cargo Bay Two, judging by the Borg atmosphere, and I seemed to be standing in one of the Regeneration Alcoves. My eyes trained in on Janeway at first, then Tuvok, behind her, and Echo, behind him; a dozen security officers carrying phaser rifles were behind all of them, and the Doctor was to my right.
"Rebecca?" Janeway asked.
"Yeah, I'm still me," I sighed as I took a step out of the alcove, unconsciously.
Janeway looked relieved, but before she, or anyone else, could react, Echo appeared in front of me and delivered a heavy punch to my jaw. It ached a little and she followed it with a barrage of punches, so the pain slowly stacked up, but I made no move to stop her. The security team, under Janeway's order, were about to separate us, but I erected a barrier of black Chaos-infused Wind mana that kept anyone from approaching. I deserved whatever beating she wanted to give me, and no one was going to stop her.
Her attacks were mostly directed at my face, but she still delivered a fair share of body blows, hitting my kidneys and diaphragm, trying to cause as much damage as she could. When she finally stopped, breathing heavily, she glared at me with anger as blood dripped from my nose.
"I fucked up, I know, and Raven is paying for my mistake. Sorry is worthless; she's gone and it's my fault because I didn't let you go when you offered..." I said, but Echo did not about my apology.
She kicked me in the gut before I could finish then turned and walked away without a single word. I used the alcove to brace myself, but that was the most resistance that I put up against Echo. Physical pain was welcome with the reality that I found myself in. Raven was assimilated due to my mistake, plain and simple, and Sancu's help to remove her from the ship was just enough help that we did not have to fight her right then and there.
"Forgive Echo's outburst... I deserve a lot worse, truthfully," I stated, wiping the blood away and rubbing my jaw.
Janeway looked a little uncomfortable by my statement, but chose to ask instead, "Do you know what happened?"
"Mostly... Raven used her Soul-Construct to destroy the Borg nanoprobes within me which allowed them to infect her as well. The nanoprobes that are left in my body are separated from the Borg Collective thanks to her efforts, so while I'm part Borg now, I'm in full control of myself and the technology in my body," I explained, looking down at my hands.
I had felt an implant that poked through my skin along my jaw. My hands were also changed, my left in particular. Silver metal streaks formed a web-like covering that ran from the tips of my fingers, across the back of my hand, and up my forearm before disappearing under my skin, much like Seven's hand had looked throughout the show. My right had a large implant over the back which stretched out in eight directions before sinking under my skin.
"Heh... I wonder what Katye will think when she wakes up," I mumbled, mostly to myself, but the others heard.
"The rest of you are relieved, except for Tuvok," Janeway instructed.
The security team all nodded their heads as the Doctor shut his tricorder and they all walked out of the cargo bay.
"Where is Raven?" Janeway asked after they were gone.
"I don't have her coordinates, if that's what you want, but she's with the Borg, probably being brought to Unimatrix Zero One, the centralized headquarters for the Borg, if she isn't there already."
"How did she get there? And for that matter, how did you move from the Bridge to Cargo Bay Two?"
"Even the Q are reluctant to mess with the Borg, so if they were to assimilate me properly, the galaxy would be in a lot of danger. There are members of the Continuum who are watching Katye and I now that they know we are here, no doubt, and one of them acted to prevent me from being assimilated. They couldn't save me directly, but Raven could, so I was brought to her," I replied with a sigh. "Whichever one it was also took her away from here before she could become a danger to the ship, so I guess thanks are in order."
Janeway gave me a look that was between anger and pity which was easy to understand. She knew how close I was to Raven, yet the danger that I had caused by my mistake would have universal consequences. The Borg now had access to mana and Raven, whose unique powers were perfect for them to utilize that new power; it was only a matter of time before they would be able to wield it.
"You realize that this will grant the Borg an incredible boost in strength?"
"Far better than you do, I would imagine. Raven and I would spar regularly, so she knows my strengths and weaknesses, and I have no weakness greater than my sensitivity to the concept of Order which would be what the Borg seem to personify... but we still have one thing in our favor. Raven has yet to be completely consumed by the Borg Collective. There is still a portion of her mind that is safe and will be resisting the Collective, so it will take some time before their strength increases, and I will be able to judge how close she is to losing herself to them," I retorted with annoyance.
"Why do you think I let Echo beat me as she did? I'm well aware of how badly I messed things up. Because of my arrogance and pride, my lover is a slave to the Collective and fighting every moment now for her sanity! It's my fault because I didn't let Echo go in my place! I only had to take a step back... just a simple step back when I was so weak, yet I didn't. This is my fault no matter what Fate had decided," I complained, fully accepting my mistakes.
Janeway stared at me for several moments while I leaned against the wall and waited for her rebuke, but it did not come and instead, she asked a simple question. "Are you going to go after Raven?"
"Right now? No, it would be suicide, but I can think of several opportunities that could pop up in the future which would give my group the chance. I won't ask you to put your crew in danger just for one person, or simply abandon you to go after her. We'll tell you our plan if one of those events arises, but currently, I have no idea how we are going to get her back, just that I'm not leaving the Delta Quadrant without her," I replied honestly.
She sighed after a moment and stated, "The Doctor says that you'll need to regenerate at least once a week, but more won't hurt you. You have this week off-duty to recuperate and get used to the changes that you've undergone."
"Thank you, Captain," I said quietly without looking at her.
Janeway placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "I can't promise you my full help, but if you give us a solid plan, I'll see what I can do. You're not alone, Rebecca."
I gave her a genuine smile and replied, "Thank you, Kathryn."
After Janeway and Tuvok left the cargo bay, I looked around a bit since this was an important place throughout the show. Most of it was still covered in Borg technology, so the room was dyed with a green glow and had a chilling atmosphere. I had always thought that the Borg were interesting villains, but that did not mean that I wanted to face the ever-adapting swarm of technological ants which now had access to mana. I should have seen this coming as soon as Raven revealed her powers, yet I had ignored the signs and let myself be the plaything of Fate to make it happen.
"It's my fault, no matter what Fate, or Tori, had decided. It doesn't change the fact that I did it again, and this time it was a mistake... God, she's not going to forgive me this time, and I really can't blame her," I sighed to myself, looking at my reflection in a piece of metal.
My fingers turned to talons as I scratched the reflection in anger. Pushing my emotions down, I walked out of the cargo bay and headed for the Shuttle Bay. Echo might hate me, but she was still bound to me and Katye due to the Soul Contract, so she was not going anywhere unless she wanted to live out her life here in the universe of Star Trek. While I could abuse that fact, I was not the type to do so, which meant that I needed to figure out a way to prove to Echo that I was serious about changing. I took my time to walk to the Shuttle Bay, ignoring the turbo lifts, and thought about what I could do.
"Rebecca! It's been so long since I've seen you! Where is Raven? Echo said that you would tell me why she hasn't come back to the ship!" Filigree exclaimed as I walked onboard the Fae Dragon.
I sighed, "Raven was taken by evil people. We will try to get her back, but right now, it's impossible. I'm sorry."
The small pixie looked dejected and landed on my shoulder. I patted her head as I walked upstairs, but was surprised by who I found. L'Naan was sitting on one of the couches, petting Nyka, and looked over when she heard me coming up the stairs.
"It's good to see you on your feet," L'Naan remarked.
"I guess," I sighed.
"What happened to Raven?" she asked.
"She used her power to sever my connection to the Borg before it could fully form, but that caused her to be assimilated in the process. A Q intervened twice, once to move me to her, and the second time to take her away from the Voyager. I don't know where she is now, but it's easy to guess that she's with the Borg," I replied.
"Damn... I'm sorry, Becca."
"I'm the last person who deserves pity," I sighed. "Is Echo in the bedroom?"
"Yes, she got back a few minutes ago and went to check on Katye," L'Naan replied.
"Filigree, go sit with L'Naan and Nyka. I need to talk with Echo privately."
"Okay," the pixie agreed and flew over to them.
I took a deep breath before I walked into the bedroom. Katye was in bed, unconscious, with Echo sitting at her side, on the edge of the bed, not looking at her. She glanced in my direction at the sound of the door, before she snorted with anger and looked away.
"Yeah... I deserve that, and feel free to hit me whenever you want, if it helps... hell, even if it doesn't. I know an apology isn't going to make up for the fact that I held you back when you would have been able to handle everything in ninety-nine-point-nine percent of scenarios. It was my arrogance that allowed this to happen, and Raven is paying the price for my mistake... I don't know how to prove that I truly want to change this problem of mine except to truly step back.
"Fae, give Echo access to my 'Voyager Timeline Room' and upgrade her orders above mine, though Katye is still above her control of your systems. If you would like to replace me in the Senior Staff Briefings, you can, but I can tell Janeway that I won't make any decisions without your input, if you would like to save yourself from the typically boring meetings. From this moment forth, I won't make any decisions moving forward, other than my own personal training on the holo-deck, and I will follow yours, and Janeway's, orders while prioritizing yours."
"Are you trying to set me up to fail?" Echo scoffed.
"No, honestly, no... I just don't know how to control myself. For me, it's all or nothing. I've gotten so used to being the one to charge in and handle everything that I don't know how to step back and let anyone help. While I have accepted Lincoln's and Finn's deaths, the emotional scars are still there. I don't have the ability to send you in my place; it's just not in my nature to send someone that I love into danger. To prove that I really want to change, the only thing I can do is completely step back and allow you to decide how we proceed. Katye can take over when she wakes up if you want, but before then, I will listen to whatever you say," I replied.
"Sure... we'll see how long that lasts," Echo mocked, still not believing me.
Chapter 074 - Unimatrix Zero
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