Chapter 6: Chapter 6
I don't know what to say. It happened so fast that I wasn't even able to think. I'm sure you're wondering if we know, the answer is known. He didn't know I was a virgin. The funny thing is he could tell I my reactions to the way he touched me were pure well that's what he told me. I wasn't planning on telling him only because I didn't think he would be here this long or that we would take it this far. He wasn't sure if he could allow himself to take some so precious from me especially since we had agreed that there would be no love attached. He had to go so he kissed me on my forehead and left just like that. I was very disappointed because even if it was my first time I would not have minded if my first time was going to be with him. I couldn't tell him that because he might think I've caught feelings. I'll admit though I do like him, but it's way far from love. He was always nice to me and was the only one who knew I had plastic surgery. I'm not gonna be able to see him for a while. He is a plastic surgeon after all he has other people he needs to attend to. I feel like I should just explain in more detail what happened last night so prepare yourself because I'm going to yet again get rejected.
He was kissing me. He picked me up and set me on the kitchen counter and slid his hands down my back and on my thighs. I start to breathe heavily as his hand's swirl around my body. Before he does anything else he stops. He doesn't say anything for a while, he just backs up.
''Shi I can't do this."
"Why we were jus-''
''Because I don't think I should be the one taking your virginity. It isn't right neither of us are in love and there is a high chance that what we have going on will last forever.''
I knew what he was saying was true but it still hurt to hear him say it.
''Your right this isn't the time to be making rash decisions.''
I look at him and smile. I try to make it look as real as I possibly can.
''I hope that things won't be weird between us. I do enjoy spending time with you, Shi.''
He reaches for my hand so I give it to him.
''I won't tell if you won't.''
We both laugh, but soon after that, it gets awkwardly quiet again.
''This is probably going to seem like I'm trying to avoid you but i start work tomorrow so I'm going to be busy during the next couple of days. This would actually be a great time for the both of us to let off some steam especially after whats happened tonight.''
I look up and nod. He sighs and comes to give me a hug.
''I got to go but I'll text you when I get home.''
He kisses my forehead and heads out. After he heads out I hear my phone going off, so I checked to see who it was. It was a text message from Stellen. I open the message.
"I miss you already."
I smile at his text then I respond
''Good night Stellen.''
I set my phone down and go to lay down. It's been four years and I'm still having boy troubles, well maybe I should say men problems he is no longer a boy and I am no longer a naive little girl. I roll over facing towards the window. I look at the stars. I wish I've seen a shooting star, because maybe my life could have been a little more different than what it is now, perhaps better. What would I wish for if I had a wish? This question lingers in my head. Maybe I wish I had met Stellen sooner. I close my eyes and I am now sound asleep.
I woke up pretty late today but it didn't really matter since I had nothing planned for today. I look at my phone. There have been no phone calls or text from Stellen in three days. I didn't want to be clingy, it's not like I'm his girlfriend or anything, but he said he'd call when he got home, but he never did.
I can't keep doing this to myself. I haven't gotten out of my bed since he left. My life does not revolve around his and it never has. I'm starting to sound like a paranoid girlfriend. I need to take a shower and relax. The whole reason we agreed to separate ways to cool off.
Why do I feel like this? Maybe I've grown too attached to his attention. I don't get attention from anyone that often unless I'm being criticized by someone, but he, he's not criticizing me. He always finds ways to compliment me despite my crappy attitude towards him. It's not on purpose, it's just I prefer to keep my guard up so when he leaves I won't feel hurt because I already knew it was going to happen.
I think today I'll call him. I grab my phone and click on his name. The phone rings.
"Hello?"
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