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3.92% Shameless Transmigration: I turned everyone on! / Chapter 4: I'd drop my pants for you- Part 2

Chapter 4: I'd drop my pants for you- Part 2

Frozen Milk glided onto the ground and crawled like a desperate centipede with only 50 legs into the cave. A few minutes later, he heard the presence of his villain.

It was in this moment Frozen Milk turned into a devoted, loyal prayer, the amount he prayed, the amount of bullshit promises he made to the Lord was enough to put a whole church in the Middle Ages out of business and to shame. Oh, how envious those money-grubbing fake priests must be if they saw him!

That was when Frozen Milk believed in God, the exact moment the villain stepped past his cave and walked off into another direction, still with a cloud of killing intent surrounding him

.Frozen Milk was truly grateful. Now he had to fulfil his promise. Frozen Milk was a scum but he wasn't a lowly scum that wouldn't repay his saviour. He was now gung-ho about becoming a monk.

Frozen Milk's mind was in a state of panic and he couldn't properly focus. Especially, without the system, Frozen Milk had a hard time figuring out what his book was even about.

The emotions he felt all at once in just a short amount of time was enough to send any healthy person into a cardiac arrest.

"System, please can't you give an overview of the book's plot?"

"Host, you are the author. No one knows better than you do."

"Wait, weren't you supposed to be in sleep mode?"

"System's currently in sleep mode. Please try again later."

"Don't fucking pretend, you!"

However, Frozen Milk gave up. His system was ridiculous useless just like in his books. Frozen Milk mentally begged for forgiveness to all the authors in his stories he sent into the nightmare of transmigration.

Frozen Milk closed his eyes and wanted to rest for a while.

His book 'Another one fell through' was his 20th transmigration story. Just like all the others, it was about an author being transmigrated into their own story hence the title 'Another one fell through'.

His readers commented on his stupid creativity and Frozen Milk only chose the title because well, of course, it was to piss his readers off. Their fault for coming back.

'Another one fell through' however was a bit different than his usual stories.

The author inside his book wrote a transmigration story about transmigration and then got sucked into it before he even got to the part of transmigration. Yes, mindception.

But basically, the book was set in another universe where the world was divided into the water and the nature half. As ridiculous as it sounded, the water half of the world was full of water cities. The nature half was full of jungles like the one he was in right now and thus the people from the nature half were barbaric in the eyes of the water people.

A feud between them existed, yet in the middle between those two sides was a small island neither belonging to any of the halves. It was a neutral place that didn't tolerate fighting.

The water people have long tried to dominate and make the nature half their own. That was where the protagonist came in, he was from the neutral side and finally was able to unify the world, but he had to fight against many enemies and his main antagonist was the next king in line of the nature half.

The villain, Frozen Milk just encountered. The hero's journey was then pretty much the same: get stronger, bed all the females and create a harem and have peers to fight alongside and after many tries beat the OP main antagonist who was evil.

Frozen Milk's goal was to become a monk, that meant he had to get onto the neutral island because monks only lived there to pacify any fights.

Frozen Milk also realised now that the clothes he wore indicated he was from the water half.The luck! He was in the enemy territory! No wonder, the villain wanted him dead!

He forgot this cannon fodder was an arrogant scum that thought he could prove himself to the main girl of the story, future wife of the protagonist, that he would be able to get the head of the villain. This just obviously screamed death flag.

Frozen Milk needed to rest. He really needed to rest or else he was going to bash his head in from all the stupid things he wrote and regretted now!

He wished he could be one of the readers and write a damn hate comment himself. He would've never ever, ever spared the author that wrote trash like this!

"Fuck!" Frozen Milk was at the end, truly at the end.

But then another thought popped up in his mind, would he be able to meet the author he sent into this transmigration hell?

And how would they react if they knew what he did to them or even worse, what if they knew what kind of shitty ending Frozen Milk had planned?

A cold shiver ran down his spine. He didn't want to think about it. Better to sleep and forget everything. Maybe it was all a dream.


next chapter

Chapter 5: Superior knowledge of an author- Part 1

Frozen Milk was overjoyed, he was more than overjoyed. He finally made it to the neutral island.

After many trials and errors, especially trying to avoid the villain, accidentally knocking out a person and accidentally putting on their clothes as to not raise suspicions, and blackmailing the captain of the airship to get him to the island, Frozen Milk must admit, he was quite proud of himself.

Being an author came in pretty handy. He knew the hideout spots, the little dirty secrets of the characters, the locations, he was basically a walking map. No, a walking cheat sheet!

This knowledge made him feel even better. Now, he didn't even curse the fact he transmigrated into his own story. Actually, he pretty much enjoyed the change of pace and scenery, and his own story coming to life.

After all, he was still an author and no matter how twisted he became, he still dearly loved his works and writing. Like every writer, he was quite attached to his characters and world.

When he came to terms with his transmigration, a sly thought crept into his mind: This was actually a blessing for him.

Yet, of course, things couldn't go the way he wanted. Since he transmigrated as a punishment, he had to suffer enough for the poor, anguish souls of his mistreated readers to be cleansed of their blackened hearts. Only when they turned into white lotuses again, could Frozen Milk be freed from this hellish torture.

However, Frozen Milk wasn't aware of everything that was going on 'behind-the-scenes' and happily hummed as he went on a search for the Temple to complete his goal: to become a monk!

He was fine with living as a forever cherry boy, in fact, all the beauties in his story were reserved for the protagonist and he had no intention at all to interfere with the protagonist nor the antagonist. Nor did he want to meddle with the main story. Quietly living his life, quietly enjoying the food, the landscape and the badass fighting skills he'd acquire.

"Hehe," Frozen Milk didn't realise the continuous evil chuckles he let out. To the surrounding people, he looked like a ball of black, rotten smoke, as black and rotten his heart was.

"Young man!" an enthusiastic merchant approached Frozen Milk ready to milk this frozen bastard to the tip of his virginity.

Right now, Frozen Milk walked along the busy main street. Various stalls, restaurants and attractions lined up. People from both the water and nature sides, as well as the neutral ones, buzzed around. There was no rivalry, no fights and no conflicts. However, they all soon had to brace themselves.

Frozen Milk was about to wreak havoc upon this peaceful island.

"My good man," Frozen Milk patted the shoulder of the sleazy merchant.

Together they looked like a pair of lackey trouble makers that would even be defeated by a cannon fodder.

They were the tank fodders of fodders, putting all existing and RIP cannon fodders to shame.

You dare call yourself a cannon fodder? Watch us, we're lower than the depths of hell for us can reach!

"Let me tell you," Frozen Milk continued to rub the merchant's shoulder.

The merchant smiled throughout the whole interaction but slowly the all-familiar murderous aura surrounded Frozen Milk, but he was too enamoured in his superiority complex of an author, he couldn't detect the snake-like feeling.

"There's no way, absolutely no way, you small dim-wit fry of a character could squeeze me dry. Don't even try."

"Dear, dear customer. Don't say this. Look at all these beautiful wares."

Frozen Milk was so sure of himself not to be fooled, he graciously allowed the merchant to show him around. He felt bad for this character, so he thought he'd do him the favour of humouring him.

Since Frozen Milk had the oh-so omnipotent knowledge of an author, he immediately knew that all those wares were fake.

The merchant brought Frozen Milk inside his small store and showed him around.

"Dear, dear customer. Look at all those great quality golden plates. They're perfect for such an esteemed individual as yourself," the merchant kissed ass like there was no tomorrow.

His job was basically to eat ass to support himself and his family of three. So, he was willing to seduce any ass there was and gulp it down his throat smoothly. No lube needed.

Indeed, it worked.

Frozen Milk actually started to fall for it, "Good, good. You have my attention, go on."

The merchant was after all a professional, he could immediately see with only one glance how to stroke this magnificent ego of Frozen Milk's. It was nothing for him.

"Dear, dear godly customer. The moment I laid my eyes on you I instantly knew this is perfect for you."

The merchant pointed to a fully golden toilet bowl. It was indeed perfect for Frozen Milk.

What the merchant thought while marketing this toilet was that Frozen Milk looked like a walking pile of poop. It was too much of public harassment to let this poop walk alone, so the solution was the pile of poop should carry its own death sentence around, ready to be flushed anywhere at any time.

Oh, and of course because this fake golden toilet was the most expensive item of them all.

The merchant was proud of himself and his own ego skyrocketed 30 times than that of Frozen Milk's.

"Dear heavenly sent customer. The heavens must've graced this world with your presence."

Indeed, Frozen Milk was the author, so he basically was like a God in heaven.

"Hm, go on. Go on."

"This toilet can only befit those that know their true value, and frankly this toilet has a secret."

The merchant whispered in Frozen Milk's ear: "It chooses its owner like a sword would choose its Master."

"Like Excalibur, I see."

"Excali- what?"

Of course, this world had no clue about the lore and tales of his own but Frozen Milk brushed it aside.

"Exactly, my lord," the bullshit grew and spread in all corners of the store, "This toilet is really special, only those that have the right can tame and use it. Not even kings and queens who frequently visit my store were chosen by the toilet."

The merchant sat on the toilet but the next second flung himself in the air in a way that looked like the toilet catapulted him to show he was not worthy.

What true acting skills and dedication to fling themselves like this away. Not even the Oscars could deny what a contestant he was.

"What a fierce toilet!" Frozen Milk's interest was piqued. He literally ate the bullshit out of the merchant's hand. Poop eating poop. It was cannibalism in front of everyone's eyes.

What was that about the superior knowledge he as an author had? Not to be swindled by the likes of a crawling ant-like cannon fodder?

Gone. Gone with the wind. Smelly like a fart with all the diarrhoea that kept polluting the room.


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