Look, this story is very hard to read from the get go. At the time I started writing this, I stopped fairly short into trying to read it sure to a lack of punctuation in sentences making it next to impossible to read. Honestly, I think I saw a single comma at the point I couldn't keep going from. If you ever get to editing it with appropriate punctuation I wouldn't mind trying again.
Look, this story is very hard to read from the get go. At the time I started writing this, I stopped fairly short into trying to read it sure to a lack of punctuation in sentences making it next to impossible to read. Honestly, I think I saw a single comma at the point I couldn't keep going from. If you ever get to editing it with appropriate punctuation I wouldn't mind trying again.