Chapter 338: Chapter 1226: I Don't Know (Part 1)
Baek Cheon bit his lips tightly.
Was this something he hadn't thought of? That couldn't be.
He had definitely thought about it—the residents of Gangnam under the control of the Evil Tyrant Alliance would suffer. And the suffering would be more challenging than imagination could grasp.
However, just thinking it didn't mean he understood.
Understanding, with a weight akin to personal experience, doesn't come until you see their lives with your own eyes and feel how they live under your skin. Until then, all these words were just vague and hollow, wandering aimlessly in the mind.
But now he understood.
What was casually described to Baek Cheon and others as 'challenging' was a tangible threat to those experiencing it. It was a fear so intense that it forced them to suppress their own emotions and bow their heads in humility.
Im Sobyeong glanced at Baek Cheon and shrugged his shoulders.
"Of course, it's not Deputy Sect Leader's fault..."
"No."
Baek Cheon shook his head.
"It's not because I am the Deputy Sect Leader of Mount Hua. It's because, despite boasting about wielding a sword for the common people, I failed to understand the actual lives they lead. That's undoubtedly my fault."
"...Why do you always come to this topic again?"
Im Sobyeong scratched his head as if puzzled. He just wanted to inform Baek Cheon about the reality faced by Gangnam people, but it ended up being awkwardly turned into a discussion about righteousness.
"Well... I know I shouldn't be the one saying this. So, if you don't think it's too presumptuous..."
Understanding his feelings, Baek Cheon smiled gently.
"Don't worry. Didn't Confucius take an eager approach to learning from a child as a teacher? He wouldn't have sought knowledge from a child if he were not inferior to the child."
"Oh, you've read the Three-Character Classic?"
Im Sobyeong was momentarily surprised. It was amusing and gratifying to hear Confucius' teachings coming from the mouths of these ignorant Mount Hua folks.
Baek Cheon nodded with a smile.
"If Confucius learned from a child, why can't I learn from a bandit?"
"What, you bastard?"
The momentarily irritated Nokrim King was about to swear, but Baek Cheon turned his head and looked at Hyeongwook.
"Sorry."
As he suddenly bowed his head, Hyeongwook was surprised and tried to dissuade him.
"Wh-what are you doing all of a sudden? What on earth did Dojang-nim do wrong?"
Baek Cheon didn't enumerate each of his mistakes. It was meaningless. Instead, he conveyed only one commitment.
"It won't be long."
"..."
"There are fundamental limits to the Evil Tyrant Alliance's dominance. No matter how long the night is, dawn will come eventually."
This was also a self-affirmation.
"We will strive to bring that dawn a little sooner."
Upon hearing this, Hyeongwook smiled brightly.
"Thank you! Thank you so much, Dojang-nim!"
"Yes. We will try harder. So, please don't give up hope."
Baek Cheon tried his best to convey his determination to Hyeongwook. But at that moment, Im Sobyeong made a disgruntled sound with his tongue, interrupting Baek Cheon's words.
Puzzled, Baek Cheon turned his head, but Im Sobyeong's gaze was no longer on him. Im Sobyeong, who had been staring intently at Hyeongwook, opened his mouth with a sly grin.
"It seems like you've misunderstood."
"... What?"
"I'm not that kind of person, but the brilliant gentleman in front of me is not someone who masks his feelings or distorts the truth just because he feels bad or things are going wrong. Just by looking at his face, isn't it obvious?"
"..."
"So, don't try to please anyone; just speak sincerely. That would be much more helpful. This gentleman is far more remarkable than you might think."
Hyeongwook spoke with a slightly perplexed expression.
"W-I don't know what you're talking about. I just am…"
"Are you sure? If you express your true feelings, this situation might improve a little sooner than you think."
Hyeongwook discreetly glanced at Baek Cheon. He hesitated for a moment, then looked outside. As he looked at the people who were busy handing out food to people, his face suddenly became complicated and subtle.
Baek Cheon, who sensed something, spoke with a stern face.
"Please, I request."
"... Yes?"
"I'm not just trying to feel good about helping someone. To walk the right path properly, it's crucial to know the facts as they are. So... please. Tell me exactly what you're thinking."
"Oh, no. My true feelings..."
"I request."
Baek Cheon bowed deeply. Surprised, Hyeongwook hastily grabbed his shoulders to stop him.
Unbeknownst to them, Jo Gol, Yoon Jong, Namgung Dowi, and Tang Pae had arrived, but seeing the situation, they couldn't bring themselves to enter the house and just watched discreetly.
"...Talking about true feelings..."
Hyeongwook, who was mumbling, let out a deep sigh.
"Dojang-nim."
"Yes."
"...Please don't take it too hard. Because Dojang-nim seems like a genuinely good person, even a lowly one like me can vent a bit..."
"I won't feel bad at all."
"Then..."
Hyeongwook, with a face that couldn't completely let go of the conflict, hesitated for a while, closed his eyes tightly, and then opened his mouth.
"How can we trust you?"
"... What?"
"How are we supposed to believe what you say, Dojang-nim?"
The words that came out of his mouth shocked Baek Cheon. It was a shock different from what he had felt so far.
For a moment, Baek Cheon stared blankly at Hyeongwook before speaking.
"I know you don't trust me, but..."
"No, it's not that, Dojang-nim. It's not that we don't trust you."
Hyungwook raised his head. Then, he sighed deeply again.
"Dojang-nim... Do you have any idea how many times we've heard such words? Everyone says they want to help us, that they genuinely care about us."
A wry smile appeared on Hyeongwook's lips.
"Even those who set up relief centers and those who come from the government say the same. It's truly appreciated and heartwarming, but... But why do we always end up like this?"
"..."
"Where are those who claim to think of us? Why... Why is it that when things are a bit more bearable, they speak kindly, but when living becomes genuinely difficult, they all disappear?"
Hyeongwook asked with a despondent voice.
"You told us not to give up hope, right?"
"... Yes."
"Dojang-nim... That hope torments people. Every time we hear good words, we've always harbored hope. However, when that hope turns into disappointment, it hurts. It would have been better if we hadn't harbored hope at all. If we had just accepted that this is how things are and lived, it might have been a little less difficult."
"..."
"We should never have expected much from the beginning, did we? But we believed. Naively and steadfastly believed. But... the world has turned out like this, and those who asked us to believe are just watching from across the river."
Baek Cheon clenched his fist. What pained him more than anything was Hyeongwook's expression, as if he had already let go of everything.
"Just wait patiently, you said. But... as a lacking person, I don't understand. Why should we wait? Why are the eminent and remarkable individuals just watching those evildoers? Those who claimed to care about us, why aren't they fighting with us?"
"... "
"At times like this, we shared what little extra household items we had, trying to be of some help, but when things go wrong, everyone just withdraws without a care..."
"That's..."
Baek Cheon was about to say something, but Hyeongwook spoke in his stead.
"Yes, I understand. Trying to save a few recklessly might distort the overall plan. How can ignorant folks like us dare to guess the profound thoughts of those above?"
"... "
"But... but, Dojang-nim."
Hyeongwook's gaze fell on his unconscious father.
"It's strange. People like Dojang-nim always say to us that we are the most important. That they raised their swords for people like us. Isn't that right?"
"... Yes."
"But... why are we always the last ones to be saved when trouble arises?"
Hyeongwook's voice grew louder.
"Why are we considered expendable, people who can die or suffer? Why are we the ones who, even if we live like beggars and endure all kinds of humiliation, are allowed to survive only if we cling to life until the end?"
"... "
"Why us, why? Why do we have to shed tears of gratitude for a small favor thrown our way and worry about the consequences? Why?"
As the voice grew louder, Baek Cheon bit his lips tightly.
"You told us to have hope, right?"
"... "
"I'm not blaming you, Dojang-nim. It's not your fault. If it weren't for Dojang-nim, we probably wouldn't have survived. I truly appreciate it. We're not ungrateful wretches who, after being rescued from drowning, covet even the bundles. [idiom] Resenting Dojang-nim for this situation would be an unforgivable act."
Hyeongwook silently nodded his head.
"But... But, Dojang-nim. What we have seen... and what we have experienced is too much for us to have hope again because of this gratitude. That... Yes, those are too harsh words. It is too burdensome to even have hope...
Baek Cheon closed his eyes quietly.
How frivolous were his words to someone who had to curse even his own father as a useless old man in order to survive and somehow save others?
Baek Cheon struggled to speak. He didn't have anything specific to say, but he still had to say something.
"I... I just wanted to offer a bit of comfort, but... my thoughts were short-sighted. I'm sorry."
"Oh, no. That's not what I meant."
"But not everyone is so irresponsible. Not everyone thinks like that. I hope you at least know that."
Hyeongwook's expression stiffened at those words. After chewing on his lips for a while, he finally couldn't hold back and spoke.
"Dojang-nim."
"Yes."
"Are you on your way somewhere in a hurry to save someone?"
"... "
"And that's truly important work. Isn't it?"
Baek Cheon's face hardened.
"So you'll be leaving soon. You've done everything here."
He also understood what Hyeongwook was going to say.
"I don't know. Even if Dojang-nim thinks we can be saved later, or if this is enough for people like us, there are others considered more important... Everyone treats us like beings that can die away in the meantime."
"... "
"What should we believe in and hope for? I... I don't know."
He felt like he was endlessly falling into a bottomless pit.
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