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its a good concept however the grammar is very lacking so I recommend using somthing like grammarly, also the way you narrate is kind of weird. You use first person (mc point of view) and third person (narrators point of view). I recommend you use more first person than third because that makes the reader feel more involved with the story. And when you write in third person dont write like you are the one who is speaking but a narrator who is in the universe and does not know about the fourth wall. For example dont say "the mc sat down" say "Lucas sat down"
it is a really good story I like how the mc is overpowered and super smart it also funny that the government got jealous about how perfect they are super good please continue
Reveal Spoiler
Hohoho... Nice nice nice... Have the power of fire, ice and wind pheonix is op of course. .. But the romance is satisfying where he and momo are future husband and wife. .. Maybe momo take a liking toward nejire and pestering the mc to take nejire as future 2nd wife to but no less.. .
its a good concept however the grammar is very lacking so I recommend using somthing like grammarly, also the way you narrate is kind of weird. You use first person (mc point of view) and third person (narrators point of view). I recommend you use more first person than third because that makes the reader feel more involved with the story. And when you write in third person dont write like you are the one who is speaking but a narrator who is in the universe and does not know about the fourth wall. For example dont say "the mc sat down" say "Lucas sat down"
it is a really good story I like how the mc is overpowered and super smart it also funny that the government got jealous about how perfect they are super good please continue
Reveal Spoiler
Hohoho... Nice nice nice... Have the power of fire, ice and wind pheonix is op of course. .. But the romance is satisfying where he and momo are future husband and wife. .. Maybe momo take a liking toward nejire and pestering the mc to take nejire as future 2nd wife to but no less.. .