Chapter 38: Life - Part 1
Fear, that was what summed up his life in the past few months. Fear, that he would suffer under the hands of Wang Bao. Fear, that he would bring disaster to his friends. Fear, that people would misunderstand his intentions if he were to approach them for help.
The worst part about fear, is the screen it brings with itself. A screen that covers reality, shows a distorted truth. His fear was masked as kindness to his friends, it was masked as independence, an unwillingness to trouble his well wishers further.
The rising sun helped burn this screen and reveal to him the truth. He was ashamed that he had to think overnight for something so obvious. All he had been doing for the past few months is foolishly nourishing his insecurities.
He also realized that he was nowhere close to achieving the goal he set out to. He still did not like who he was, still had a lot to change. Character was not a goal for a distant future, it is a goal for now. You are or you aren't. Six months of improvement made him think he achieved something, but the credit to what he had went completely to Wan Lin and Li Xiaomei. He didn't have the decisiveness or courage needed to take the right path. He was completely reliant on those two, and without them he screwed up bad.
It was not too late. He hadn't done anything irreversible. Informing the girl was now the only way he felt he could continue living without loathing himself. He'd rather be bullied and kicked out the sect than live loathing every breath he took. There is only misery where there is no heart.
He reached the training grounds four, met the lackey there. The lackey was already prepared with the information he needed. He also passed onto him a message from Wang Bao, he had one week to deliver.
One week, that was more than enough to give the message to the girl and take shelter under Li Xiaomei. It doesn't matter if he is misunderstood and their relationship is strained, it was the only way he could think of. If it fails what awaits would be bad, but nothing could be worse than becoming something he absolutely loathed.
He didn't listen to the lackey's jealous comments and went straight to his room. He couldn't let anything distract him now.
Back in his room he took out the paper the lackey handed him. He unfolded the paper revealing the portrait within. The moment his eyes landed on the portrait, the world came to a still.
'It's her!' It was the picture of the girl that beat the five disciples in the city, it was the picture of the girl he saw under the moon, the girl that was the light that guided him out of the abyss of failure and the girl that was the cause of his present predicament.
'Jiang Yingyue' he mouthed, "What a beautiful and fitting name!" His heart was gripped by sharp pangs of fear. 'I gotta hurry I gotta warn her' He picked up his pace. 'I can't reach her room, waiting for her training time in the evening might be too late. No, next is class time. I'll go early and wait for her at the entrance.' He picked the packet for proof and raced for the lecture hall.
'I shouldn't be too obvious. I should calm down.' He slowed down a little. 'If I wait for her outside the class, Wang Bao's lackeys may be watching.' He took out the paper and checked the information written on it.
The paper had information about her room, routine and a small description. It also had a note from Wang Bao, rules for this game of his.
Female and male disciples lived in the same building separated by a closed corridor. They weren't allowed into each other's living areas. She went to training grounds five according to her current routine. It was under the jurisdiction of a rival faction and Wang Bao's lackeys' presence would be small if not nil. He decided to meet her there.
Lecture hall.
He took his seat and waited for the lecture to begin. His eyes were glued to the entrance looking for her. After a while, she came. Her arrival calmed his anxious heart. This was the first time he was seeing her at such a close distance. The last time she was in a fight and he in shock and couldn't appreciate her beauty in full. She was tall, as tall as him. Her long hair was tied neatly into a high ponytail. His eyes naturally flowed down her hair as he was sucked into the blackest black he had ever seen. Her black almond eyes twinkled like a clear pond. The arched brows, heart shaped face, wheat skin, red lips, his heart beat faster and faster, confused as to where to land the gaze, unwilling to leave others.
It wasn't after the classes that he came back to his senses. 'Sigh, this is a problem. Wasn't this what got me in trouble in the first place? She isn't even that beautiful. Must be the influence of the memory. But her eyes are reall-' *slap* 'They were normal. Just like every other eyes. Haiz, this is gonna be difficult. Come on man, did you forget about Wang Bao and stuff?'
He was pulled right out of the dream and put into the nightmare. 'Fuck! Couldn't let me enjoy another moment could you?'
He took a deep breath to control his raging emotions and got up. He went straight to training grounds five. The moment he saw an opportunity he would make his move.
Training grounds five was another marvel of formations. Martial Arts ground allowed one to experience a martial art to it's completion. One's consciousness is sent to a mental space where the body they occupy moves according to one of the multitude of martial art techniques held in the formation and they get to experience the whole thing.
He had once gone to this training grounds long before he became Wang Bao's lackey. He had then beaten the crap out of the faction members guarding the entrance. He didn't intend to, but he found the fight exhilarating and let go of all inhibitions unconsciously. That ended up in a grudge with those members. Unfortunately for him they were the ones on guard today.
'It's best not to make any big moves. Also going inside wouldn't help me in any way. I'll just wait outside.' He picked out a relatively hidden spot which gave him a clear line of sight to the entrance.
He kept an eye on the entrance with unwavering attention. This was very important to him. He planned to follow her a bit and approach her when only when the coast is clear.
Hours passed. He stayed in the same spot, making sure not to miss the chance. The doors to the building opened for the nth time and out came the Jiang Yingyue.
He took a moment to calm his racing heart and followed her. The more he walked, the more restless his heart grew. 'This is not good. I don't want to screw this up.' He clenched his fists till his nails dug into his skin, bit down on his teeth hard and tensed his whole body to keep his heart in check.
"Come out." At this time he heard a voice that ruined all his efforts. He came out from behind his cover and faced her. It was like all his energy was being used in pumping his blood. It took great effort to move his limbs.
"Why are you following me." Her tone was completely neutral. Her body looked relaxed as if she didn't see the ant following her as a threat. But Zhang Wuji's heart was on fire. This time out of fear. He had a feeling that if he were to delay in answering, something bad might happen.
"I-I am Zhang Wuji. One of Wang Bao's lack- no men." 'I can't believe this is going to be my first impression! SHit!!'
"What do you want?" There was a change in her tone. He felt as if a mountain had been lifted off his shoulder. He was momentarily proud of his lackey status before slapping himself mentally and continued.
"Wang Bao ordered me to drug you with this and deliver you to him." He got straight to the point. After saying those words he was filled with a sudden calm that brought strength back to him.
"I came to warn you. There will be others that would gladly do the deed even if I were to turn him down." He put the packet back into his sleeves as soon as he was sure she got a glimpse of it. He didn't want to risk anyone seeing it.
"Thank you." She remained silent for a moment before thanking him. For some unknown reason the gratitude filled him with sadness.
"I know someone that could be of help." He said as he saw her turn to leave.
"No need." She turned around, did a little bow and left.
He stood there motionless long after she left his sight and sighed. He did not know what he was expecting, but he was disappointed nonetheless. He genuinely cared for her and offered Li Xiaomei's protection which he wasn't sure he himself could have at the moment.
'It is late. Tomorrow I'll go meet teacher Li.' He smiled. He was still used to calling her teacher. It has been long since he went to her for guidance. Nowadays they only met to practice acting on Sundays.
'Sigh, there's also that Wan Huan. He'll be mad about today. Haaa.' He didn't go to the Pill House the whole day. His mentor would not be happy with that.
'And there's Wan Lin. I gotta talk to the guy. What should I say?' He walked to the mess lost in thoughts. Had some dinner and went to sleep.
Next day.
It was seven in the morning. He was already done with his daily cultivation. He went straight to the Pill House. At the reception desk, there was an alchemy apprentice. Unlike Li Xiaomei, this guy read alchemy books utilising the time he spends on the desk.
"Good morning brother Pang."
"Oh brother Zhang, alchemist Wan was pretty mad yesterday. He just came in. I suggest you go immediately and get started on ass kissing." Pang Jin smiled.
Pang Jin came from an alchemist family. He became an apprentice as soon as he joined the sect at age twelve. After three years, he was a very knowledgeable apprentice. With his nature, he was quite popular among fellow apprentices. Zhang Wuji also approached him whenever he encountered some problem in his studies. It was only his cultivation level that was stopping him from becoming an alchemist.
"Aw man I really don't want to deal with him right now. Sigh, it is unavoidable, might as well get it over with. Brother Pang, is alchemist Li in?"
"You didn't know? Alchemist Li went with Elder Chen to the Sword Mountain. They'll be back after three days."
"What?!" 'Calm down calm down. Huuu. Alright I'll ask for fourth brother.'
"What about alchemist Shan Daoling?"
"Elder Chan took all his disciples to meet an old friend. I heard they have a bet over who is a better teacher."
'I'm screwed! Calm down. Wang Bao gave a week's time. It's just three days. Meanwhile I could also try contacting third sister.'
"Thanks for the help brother Pang." Pang Jin waved his hand and he went to meet Wan Huan.
....
Two days later.
Wan Huan had given him a long lecture and ordered him to work an hour extra. He had to wake up an hour earlier to accommodate that. Six in the morning. The sun hadn't risen yet. He had just finished his training and was all set to go to the Pill House.
He walked down the stairs. He kept his head down as he walked, lost in thoughts cursing Wan Huan. He reached the entrance to the building. There was a figure blocking his way. Irritated he looked up, intending to give him a piece of his mind.
It was Wang Chu. He involuntarily bent his knees a little. His heart pumped with all it's strength. His mind engulfed with fear, he was ready to run at the slightest sound.
He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Young master Wang wants to see you."
Zhang Wuji swallowed the lump in his throat and said "I-I need to go to the Pill House-"
"Wuji, don't make it difficult for yourself. Follow me." Wang Chu turned around and walked away.
His shoulder hurt like crazy. He kept looking at his back, a million thoughts running in his mind. Finally he took a deep breath and followed.
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