Chapter 39: Intermission 2
"What is the meaning of this, Chris?"
Arthur, looking extremely annoyed, glared at his friend. The person in question, Christopher, Arthur's childhood friend shrugged his shoulders.
"You refuse to get help and expect me to stand by and watch? Now, even your physical health is deteriorating. Therefore, I've brought you one of the best specialists."
With that said, Christopher opened the apartment door and revealed a young Asian woman with long black hair, hazy brown eyes, and round spectacles that did not really suit her.
She was hugging a book with one hand and, with Christopher's signal, she entered the room, her attention focused on the to-be patient.
"This is a friend of mine, Doctor Melina Aeri. She came from South Korea once I told her about you. Unlike Doctor James, whom you seem to detest a lot, Doctor Melina refused to be paid and was particularly interested in you."
"Is that so? Well, I'm hale and whole. Leave me be, Chris."
"Come on, man! Just this one last time, okay? Please."
Christopher repeatedly begged his friend until he reluctantly agreed. Soon, when Melina was welcomed into the messy living room and she was left alone with Arthur, the 'session, if it could even be called that, began.
"Nice to meet you, Arthur."
"..."
The man, wearing stained black pants and a half-buttoned white shirt, looked completely disinterested in the woman. He was absent-mindedly gazing at the spectacular view outside of the window, which had long since become boring.
"I know you don't want to do this." She said calmly as she made herself more comfortable. She did not behave like a therapist nor did it seem she was taking this seriously, though her narrowed eyes suggested otherwise.
"Why don't you take a shower first? That way, your mind will be clear."
Surprisingly, Arthur did not object. He silently stood up and headed to the bathroom, returning only after one whole hour.
He poured himself a coffee, changed into clean clothes, and lit up a cigarette. As per her suggestion, he was feeling slightly better, but still not in the mood to talk.
"Doctor James was kind enough to share his notes with me. Do you mind if I read them?"
"..."
Hearing nothing but silence, Doctor Melina softly smiled and opened the book in her hand.
"A nihilistic perspective of his own life. Detachment from reality. Vehement objection to any opinion that disagrees with his own." She sighed and shook her head, "And the list goes on…"
"Aren't those supposed to be private?"
"Indeed. Under no circumstances is it allowed to share such notes with the patient or any other living soul apart from their writer. However, I recited them to you so we could get on the same page, at least."
Arthur, again, returned to silence and enjoyed the cigarette, his eyes lingering on Melina for only a couple of breaths.
"What is it you want from me?"
"Oh, I just want to talk. Consider this a heart-to-heart conversation. We stand here, face to face, not as a doctor and a patient but as normal human beings."
"I must've heard those words ten times already. Do you think it will change anything? If you want to help then leave me alone."
"Why this adamant rejection, Arthur? It's not like either of us have anything important to do. Let us spend this evening talking-"
She suddenly paused and seductively crossed her legs, her smile widening, "Or… we can do something else."
Upon seeing this, Arthur chuckled, "I thought you were brought here to treat me."
"Exactly!" She clapped her hands and put down her book to the side.
"Just like you don't care about many things, I, too, don't put much importance into my body. If, by sexually pleasing you, I can help you open, then so be it."
"..."
"You look a bit disgusted…. hehehe, I'm not surprised. Still, I am confident in my skills, be it sex or in the medical field."
"All I have to say was written by Doctor James."
Melina frowned for a split second then returned to her smile as she asked,
"Are you perchance religious, Arthur?"
"I am not."
"And do you think it might be part of the reason for, I quote, 'emptiness in your heart'."
"It might and it might not."-Arthur
Arthur lit up another cigarette and even poured a bit of wine after finishing his coffee.
"Getting the answers of such banal questions will not avail you, Doctor Melina."
"I'd still like to try." She replied as she picked up the wine bottle and poured herself some too, not even minding to use an old glass that hasn't been touched in a while.
"Why haven't you tried believing or having faith? Is it because of your tragic childhood?"
Even when she mentioned his childhood, Arthur did not seem bothered or angered. He looked at her expressionlessly.
"Try? Try what? I can't force myself to believe in something I genuinely don't think exists. I respect all religions and have never belittled any. Plus, I don't think the lack of faith is the cause of my problem."
"Alright. What about monotony? You spent most of your time working and, as the chairman, perhaps the sense of unperturbed normality created an inerasable void within you."
"Still wrong, Doctor. You're jumping from one thing to the other and that, too, will lead you to nothing."
"Hmm…" While tapping her index on her thigh, she scrutinized the disinterested man, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not pierce through his never-changing expression. He was like a block of stone, an empty vessel that was barely sustaining itself.
"What about love? I've heard that your relationship with Madam Claudia wasn't so good. Have you considered another partner? Love can blossom anywhere, you know."
"Love? The way I see it, someone who loves you will be able to understand you. In my case, I don't think there are any."
"That's not how love works, Arthur."
"So? I've had feelings for a woman in the past. Was it love? I honestly don't know. Just like you can't force religion, you can't also force love. It doesn't work like that, Doctor."
"You know what I see when I hear you talk, Arthur?"
For the first time, he kept looking at her, his jet black pupils glued onto her.
"I see self-loathing and hate. It's not directed at your entourage but specifically at your life. It could be the result of choosing the wrong path in life."
"I don't agree with that. I wish to be happy."
"How can you say that when you won't even try?"
Arthur sat up straight and extinguished his half-finished cigarette, his expression changing ever-so-slightly.
"This is real life, Doctor. People-no, everyone has their problems, physical or mental. What do they do? Give up? Yes, perhaps. Yet, there are also those who continue living while bearing through the unspoken troubles. What do you expect me to do? Believe that I can be happy and it will happen? Quit my job and do something else? Seeks love in gods know where?"
"I can't answer that. Ironically, I'm a firm believer that only you can understand yourself and your thoughts."
"..."
"Since you're so apathetic, why didn't you try suicide?"
"Is that something a Therapist should say?"
The woman pulled a pack of cigarettes and lit up one as she let out a mocking chuckle.
"I'm regarding you as a person rather than a patient. So… did you?"
"I did not. Even though I don't have any aspirations or things that could motivate me or make me happy, I still think living is better than dying."
"That sounds contradicting, though. If you've got nothing left to do and each day is filled with overwhelming hollowness, then why not end it all? Is it only because you want to care for your company? By continuing to live, you are hoping that you'll find what you seek. After all, you said it yourself, you wish to be happy. That, alone, proves that you are hopeful rather than drowning in despair."
"..."
Arthur did not know how to respond, he just sat there and looked at the smiling Melina.
She did not continue talking and, instead, stood up and left.
Her words, though brief, had affected Arthur greatly. So much, in fact, that he called for her after a couple of day for a second session.
He wanted to talk again as their last meeting made him rethink a couple of things and cling onto a faint spark. He thought that maybe... just maybe, with her help, there would be a way to regain what he had lost.
Alas, fate was wont to be cruel; Doctor Melina died in an unfortunate accident shortly after their first meeting. Thus, with the last straw gone, Arthur truly tasted deepest despair. That day, when he learnt of her death, he decided to go get drunk to temporarily forget about everything, however, during that moment of helplessness, he got drugged and kidnapped…
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