Chapter 22: The training from hell
The training from hell was scheduled to begin at lunch hour the next day.
I wondered why I was going along with them. At the end of the day, all
this community known as the Service Club did was scrape together a bunch
of weaklings, and all these weaklings were doing was doze off inside that
little walled garden. The teacher had just gathered together this group of
losers and given them a temporary comfortable shelter. And how was that
any different from the classic teen experience that I hated so much?
Maybe that was the very purpose for which Ms. Hiratsuka had created this
sanatorium for excising the sources of our respective sicknesses. But if what
ailed us was something that could be wiped away through such a shoddy
effort, none of us would have been sick in the first place.
That was how it was for Yukinoshita.
I didn't know what her deal was, but I didn't think it was something that
could be healed here. And even if my wounds could have been mended, the
only way that could have happened was if Totsuka were a girl. If, through
this tennis episode, something that could be called a romantic comedy were
born between Totsuka and me, then it might have been different.
As far as I could tell, the cutest one there was Saika Totsuka. He had an open personality, and above all, he was nice to me. If I took the time to
nurture this love, there was a possibility I might grow some humanity.
But, like…he was a boy. God was such a jerk.
Though I was in the midst of a mild bout of despair, I still took the trouble
to change into my gym sweats and head out to the tennis court. I would
wager it all on the tiny hope that Totsuka might actually be a girl!
The gym uniform at my school was an unfortunate shade of pale neon
blue, and it stood out dramatically. The color was uncool to the point of being
sublime, and all the students hated it, so no one wore it of their own volition
outside of gym class or club time. Everyone was in their regular uniforms at
lunch, and I was the only one sticking out like a sore thumb in my gym
clothes. My conspicuousness led to my capture by a certain annoying
individual.
"Ha! Ha-ha-ha-Hachiman!"
"Don't segue from a bellowing laugh into my name."
Even in a school as large as Soubu High, there was only one person here
who would laugh so creepily: Zaimokuza. He folded his arms and blocked
my path.
"How unexpected to encounter you in a place like this! I was just thinking
about going over to hand you my newly conceived plot. Come and feast your
eyes upon it!"
"Oh, uh, sorry. I'm a little busy right now." I slipped past him and
casually ignored the proffered bundle of papers.
But Zaimokuza kindly grabbed my shoulder. "Give me not such sad lies.
There's no way you'd have any plans."
"I'm not lying. And I don't want to hear that from you!" Why was
everyone saying the same thing? Did I look like I had that much free time on
my hands? Well, I guess I actually did have a lot of free time on my hands.
"Heh. I understand, Hachiman. You just wanted to look cool, so you told
a little white lie, huh? And then, in order to prevent that lie from being
exposed, you spun further lies. And then you will desperately do so again.
It's a tragic infinite spiral, but you know, at the other end of that spiral is
emptiness. To be specific, human relationships are emptiness.
But there is yet time to turn back! What? You saved me! This time, 'tis
my turn to save you!" Zaimokuza delivered this line, which was number two
on my list of the things I wanted to try saying once, as a man. He was giving a thumbs-up and had an irritating, contrived look on his face.
"I really do have plans…" I could actually feel the muscles in my face
spasm in irritation as I attempted to convince Zaimokuza. But just then…
"Hikigaya!" I heard that cheerful soprano voice, and Totsuka leaped into
my arms. "You came at just the right time. Let's go together?"
"Y-yeah…"
There was a racket case slung over his left shoulder, and his right hand
was, for some reason, grasping my left. Why?
"H-Hachiman… Who is that person…?" Zaimokuza looked back and
forth between Totsuka and me in astonishment. Gradually, his expression
changed, transforming into something I felt I'd seen before. Oh, I knew. Like
in Kabuki? With a flourish that almost made me think I'd heard a Kabuki
actor cry out and bang his drum, Zaimokuza's eyes flared open, and he
assumed a pose. "Y-you fiend! Have you betrayed me?!"
"Betrayed you? How?"
"Silence! You half-handsome failure of a hot guy! I took pity on you
because you were a loner, but now you've gotten cocky!"
"That 'half' and 'failed' part was unnecessary." The loner part was true,
so I couldn't argue that.
His face distorted in rage, Zaimokuza growled and glared at me.
"Unforgivable…"
"Hey, calm down, Zaimokuza. Totsuka isn't a girl. He's a guy…
probably," I said, without conviction.
"P-p-p-bullshit! There's no way such a cute girl could be a boy!"
Zaimokuza objected, messing up his words.
"He is cute, but he's a guy."
"Hey…calling me cute and stuff…it makes me a little…uncomfortable."
Right beside me, Totsuka's cheeks went red as he averted his face. "Um, is
this…your friend, Hikigaya?"
"Oh, I dunno…"
"Hmph. Someone like you could never be my eternal rival." Zaimokuza
was in full sulk mode. Man, what a pain in the ass.
But I could get where he was coming from. It's only natural that when
someone you've felt slight sympathy for turns out to be possessed of
completely different qualities than those you assumed, you feel a tinge of
sadness much like betrayal.
I wondered what could I say at a time like this in order to bring our
relationship back to normal. Unfortunately, I was lacking in EXP, so I didn't
know. But I did feel a little bit sad. It was because I felt like maybe he and I
had some kind of understanding, and maybe one day we could laugh about it
and accept each other or something.
But I guessed that sort of thing was never gonna happen after all.
A friendship where you're always trying to be considerate of the other
person, always worrying about what they think, always responding to every
single text, always seeking their approval and then finally connecting with
them, isn't friendship at all. If that troublesome process was what they called
youth, then I didn't need any of it. Enjoying yourself among some tepid
community is basically just stroking your own ego. It's deceit. The worst sort
of evil.
Plus, Zaimokuza was really obnoxious when he got jealous.
I swore I'd prove my righteousness, my own justice, and chose the path of
loneliness.
"Let's go, Totsuka." I pulled Totsuka's arm.
But after replying, "Oh…yeah…," he didn't move from the spot.
"Zaimokuza, was it?"
Zaimokuza acted a little weird at being addressed, but he nodded.
"If you're Hikigaya's friend, maybe…you can be my friend, too? I'd be
glad if you would. Because…I don't have many guy friends," Totsuka said,
smiling shyly.
"Heh… Ngh… Heh…heh-heh-heh. Indeed, Hachiman and I are bosom
buddies. No, brothers. No, no, no, I am the master, and he is the servant.
Well, if you're going to be like that, then I suppose I have no choice. I'll be
your…u-um…friend? Then. Or lover, if you wish."
"Yeah, I don't think…that's possible. So let's be friends."
"Hmm, I see. Hey, Hachiman, does this mean this person likes me? Am I
a babe magnet now? Are chicks finally gonna start digging me now?"
Zaimokuza immediately sidled up to me and whispered into my ear.
Yeah, no. Zaimokuza wasn't my friend after all. Someone who'd
immediately change his attitude after discovering he could befriend a pretty
girl through me could never be my friend. "Let's go, Totsuka. If we're late,
Yukinoshita will freak out."
"Hmm, we cannot have that. Then let us hurry. That lady…is really scary," Zaimokuza said, following me and Totsuka. Apparently, Zaimokuza
was now with us. We were all walking in a line for some reason, so to
someone seeing us, we might have seemed rather Dragon Quest–ish… No,
he was less Dragon Quest and more like King Bonbii from Momotetsu, I
think.
***
Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were already at the tennis court. Yukinoshita
was still in her uniform, and only Yuigahama had changed into her gym
clothes. They must have been eating lunch at the court. When they saw us,
they quickly packed away their tiny meals.
"Then let's get started."
"Th-thank you for doing this." Totsuka faced Yukinoshita and gave her a
little bow.
"First of all, let's build up that muscle that you are so fatally lacking. In
order to comprehensively build your biceps, deltoids, pectorals, abdominals,
obliques, dorsals, and femoral muscles, first, do push-ups… For now, just go
at it until you're nearly dead."
"Whoa, you sound so smart, Yukinon…huh? Nearly dead?"
"Yes. Muscle repairs itself to the degree that you have torn it, but every
time it repairs itself, the fibers bind more strongly, and this is known as
overcompensation. In other words, if you do it until the point of near death,
you'll power up all at once."
"Come on, he's not a Super Saiyan…"
"Well, he won't get that muscle immediately, but there is another point to
this training: to raise his basal metabolism."
"Basal metabolism?" Yuigahama asked, tilting her head with a question
mark.
You don't even know that?
Yukinoshita looked somewhat astonished, but perhaps figuring it would
be faster to explain than to criticize Yuigahama, she briefly added: "To put it
simply, it means to make the body fit for physical activity. When the basal
metabolism rises, it becomes easier to burn calories. It increases the
efficiency of the transformation of energy."
Yuigahama nodded. Abruptly, her eyes lit up. "It makes it easier to burn
calories…in other words, lose weight?"
"Indeed. It makes it so you can expend even more calories when breathing
and digesting, with the result that you get skinnier just by being alive."
At Yukinoshita's words, the sparkle in Yuigahama's eyes grew. For some
reason, she was bubbling with even more vigor than Totsuka.
Then, as though Yuigahama's enthusiasm had set him off, Totsuka
clenched his fist as well. "Th-then I guess I'll just try doing it."
"I-I'll do it with you!" Totsuka and Yuigahama got into plank position
and slowly began doing pushups.
"Ngh...gh! Ahhh, phew!"
"Ugh…ngh! Ngah! Phew, phew, nnnngh!" Stifled panting leaked from
both of them. Distorting their faces in anguish, they broke a light sweat, and
their cheeks flushed.
Totsuka's arms were apparently pretty sore, because occasionally, he
would shoot me a pleading glance. Gazing at him leisurely from above made
me feel, um…odd.
When Yuigahama bent her arms, shining skin peeked out from the collar
of her gym clothes. Oh no. I couldn't look straight at that. My heart rate had
been up pretty high for a while, and there was a good chance it was irregular
now.
"Hachiman… Why is it…that I feel so at peace right now…?"
"What a coincidence. I feel the same way." I leered down at the
occasional flashes of skin below us until a voice came at me like ice water
down my back.
"Why don't you two shake off those appetites of the flesh by doing some
exercises?" When I turned, Yukinoshita was giving me a look of utter
contempt. She said I had appetites of the flesh. She noticed?!
"H-hmph. A warrior never shirks his training. Well then, I shall join you!"
"Y-yeah. Not getting enough exercise is a scary thing. There's, like,
diabetes and gout and u-uh…cirrhosis of the liver and stuff!"
We flung
ourselves on the ground with incredible speed and began our push-ups.
Yukinoshita circled around deliberately to stand in front of us.
"Seeing
you like that, it looks rather like a new kind of groveling," she said, and she
chuckled.
What did you say, you bastard? You'll awaken anger within even my most peaceful of hearts. Oh, forget it. The only thing that'sgoing to awaken within
me is a kink for push-ups.
What on earth are we doing?
I'm sure you know the saying, "If you pile up enough dust, it'll make a
mountain." Or even "Two heads are better than one." Basically, I'm talking
about the idea that people become stronger when they gather together. But we
were just gathering a bunch of failures to enact more fail.
In the end, we were made to do push-ups for the whole lunch hour, and I
writhed around in bed late that night in muscle pain.
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Hello guys your Friend is here Author-San I have requeste for you please help me ( I traveled fantasy world with system) this noval share with your friends if you or they like this Noval please add to library and vote with power stone . this noval is in CONTEST so I hope you can help me. bye bye .
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