Chapter 202: 32
Chapter thirty two: Make it count!
"Naruto!" – talks.
'Bleach!' – thoughts.
"Teletubbies!" – Yamato/Rebellion.
"EWWWWWWWW!" – demonic/jutsu.
...
Konohagakure no sato. Hokage's office…
"Tsunade-sama!"
Godaime looked up from her work. "What is it, Shizune?"
"I have bad news, Tsunade-sama…" Her assistant started.
The blond woman sighed. "What is it this time?"
Shizune gulped. "Our spy in Naruto's higher ranks has been killed yesterday."
Tsunade glared. "That's not good indeed. How did it happen?"
"He was killed, Tsunade-sama… by Naruto himself."
"Why?"
Shizune paused. "As… As you ordered, Tsunade-sama, he tried to prevent Naruto from attacking the Moon Country…"
"But…?"
"But suddenly Naruto himself came and didn't even let him explain…"
"Tch…" Tsunade's eyes narrowed. 'Damn you, Naruto… Why did you have to make it this difficult…?'
"Fortunately…" Shizune continued. "He still completed his task by placing a small camera in the conference room… and here comes the bad news…"
The Hokage raised an eyebrow. "And that right there wasn't bad news?!"
"Not as bad as the next ones…"
Tsunade massaged her temples. "Okay, spill it."
Shizune nodded reluctantly. "Naruto already gave the order to attack. His troops began marching this morning."
"Dammit!" Tsunade hissed. "I thought we'll have more time."
"And…"
Slug mistress's eyes widened. "That's not all?!"
Shizune shook her head. "N-Naruto… he… he went to the Netherworld today…"
"FUCK!" Tsunade shouted and crushed her desk with her fist. "CALL OROCHIMARU IN HERE! NOW!"
"HAI!"
Netherworld. Temen-ni-gru tower…
"Temen-ni-gru, huh…" Naruto muttered, walking into some round room. "Stupid name. Who would call a portal like that?! I can barely say it!"
"You moron!" Yamato stated. "Do you even know why it's called like that?!"
Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Umm… nope, I don't…"
"Idiot."
"Do you?"
"What?"
"Do you know why it's called like that?"
"What, are you crazy?! Of course I don't!" Thedemon blade stated.
"Wait a second! Why did you call me an idiot then?!" Naruto asked in anger.
"Simple, I wanted to call you that! HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! And there's nothing you can do…"
"How about sticking you up Orochimaru's ass…?" Naruto asked slyly.
"No! Not that! Anything but that! I take my words back, I take everything back! Just don't do it!"
"Shut up already, I won't." Naruto stated to Yamato's relief. "Better tell me where this fucking entrance is!"
"Should be here. Search for a door. It should be quite big by the way…"
"Well, I see nothing beside this fucking ice!"
"Well, that's just…" Yamato paused. "Wait a second, did you just say ice?"
"Yep, lots of ice around here…" The demon said, looking over the room.
"Damn, how was it…" Thesword tried to remember. "Oh yes! Say… I demand a passage into another world."
"Sounds lame, but… what the hell! I demand a passage into another world."
Immediately ice began to crack… releasing its hold on a huge chained three headed dog.
"Woah!" Naruto exclaimed. "I've found one already!"
"GUAH!" A huge dog roared, releasing itself from ice completely. "Leave now, mortal! The likes of you are forbidden in these lands!"
Naruto sweatdropped. "Umm…"
"You, who are powerless are not worthy to step foot inside this tower!" The three headed dog continued.
Naruto's eyes started to roll into the back of his head.
"I am the gatekeeper, and I will not let any unworthy pass! I will…"
"Say, what's your name?" Naruto suddenly asked.
"My name is…"
"It doesn't matter what your name is!"
SLASH. "Grah!" The dog howled in pain. "You… You're not human, are you?!"
"Tell me, where are we right now?" Naruto asked instead of giving an answer.
"We are at the bottom of Temen-ni-gru tower. The lowest level of the Netherworld…" The dog answered.
"At least you know this much…" Naruto muttered. "Tell me this then, how in the blue hell a human could get all the way here?!"
"Umm…"
"Exactly!" The blond sighed. "Are you able of placing two and two together, or your brain was divided equally for all of your heads?"
"You dare mocking me?!" The dog shouted in anger and breathed ice at Naruto.
"Ho-ho!" Naruto exclaimed, reappearing in a flash of black. "You do have some skill! You'd better reconsider your desire to fight me though… Cerberus."
"Why is that?!"
Naruto took off his sunglasses and threw them away. "I'm more powerful than I look." He stated, opening his black eyes.
"So you are a demon…" Cerberus started. "Why have you come here then? You should know that the seal cannot be broken without Sparda's blood if you were able to get this far."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Hell, I didn't know that…"
"Then I suggest you leave. This tower holds nothing more…"
"Oh, how wrong you are!" The blond interrupted with a huge grin on his face. "For you see… I haven't come here for the portal. Nonononono, no, no! I came here in search for possible allies."
Cerberus held a pause to stare at this strange newcomer.
"Who are you?"
Naruto grinned from ear to ear. "You want to know who I am?! I am… the jabroni beating, LALALALALAAAAW, pie eating, trail blazing, eyebrow raising, no soul to take, no life to squeeze, gonna bring this ugly world to it's fucking knees, great Uzumaki Naruto!"
"I see…" Cerberus replied. "Yes, I heard about you, Uzumaki Naruto. Do you want me as an ally?"
Naruto shrugged. "I guess…"
"Then tell me your goal first."
Blonde snorted. "My goal?! Let's see… He sits in his fucking castle and claims to be undefeated. I want to correct that."
The dog nodded. "You want to defeat Mundus… and you want to take his place as the next Overlord… A commendable task…"
"Will you aid me then?"
Cerberus smirked. "You didn't actually think it would be that easy?"
Naruto sighed. "Yeah, for some moments I did…"
"You are a demon." The three headed dog stated. "And if you want someone's servitude, you have to take it by force!"
"That's exactly what I had in mind!" Naruto took a battle stance. "Let's go, mutt!"
Konohagakure no sato. Hokage's office…
"Kuchiose no jutsu!" Tsunade shouted, placing her hand on her desk.
"What is thou bidding, Tsunade-sama?" A small slug asked, appearing in a puff of smoke.
"Call Katsuyu, now!" The Hokage yelled.
"I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama, but Katsuyu-sama must not be disturbed." Nameless slug stated. "She's in the middle of a very important ritual…"
"It's about Uzumaki Naruto." Orochimaru stated.
The slug remained silent for some seconds. "Wait here." It said and disappeared back into his world.
"What the hell was that about?" The snake sannin asked.
"Fuck me if I know… Wait, don't!" Tsunade suddenly shouted.
Orochimaru looked at her as if she was crazy. "I wasn't going to…"
"Oh… that's great…" Tsunade stated. 'Fuck you, Naruto! What have you done to me?!'
PUFF.
"Greetings, Tsunade." Another slug said. "Katsuyu speaks very highly of you…"
The Hokage raised an eyebrow. "And who might you be?"
"My name is Katsuyima." The slug stated. "And I'm the Grand Elder of the Slug Clan."
"Oh, I'm sorry if I was disrespectful…" Tsunade apologized.
The slug chuckled. "Hmhmhm… No need, child. I'm glad to finally talk to you face to face."
"Excuse me, but…" Orochimaru interrupted. "Why are you here? I mean from what the toad Elder told us, Grand Elders cannot leave their vicinity often."
"That's right, we can't." Katsuyima replied. "But Katsuyu can't really come here right now…"
"Can I ask why?" Tsunade wondered.
"Very well. Katsuyu is in the middle of a ritual that will make her my successor…" The Slug Elder stated. "In other words, after this ritual and my death she will become the next Grand Elder of the Slug Clan."
"I see…" Tsunade muttered.
"But enough. I've wasted too much time already. What can you tell me about Uzumaki Naruto?"
Tsunade looked at Orochimaru and nodded.
"Our sources say that this morning Uzumaki Naruto has entered the hell's gate…" The snake sannin explained.
Katsuyima gasped. "This is a disaster! You should've told me that right away!"
"Why is it this bad?" Tsunade asked.
"Because we'll try everything we can in order to stop him!" The Slug Elder stated. "We cannot let Overlord Mundus to be slain… or released."
"Released?" Orochimaru asked. "You're telling us he's contained?"
"Yes." Katsuyima nodded. "And pretty well if I might say. He's sealed inside his own castle, awaiting for…"
"For what?" Tsunade asked.
Katsuyima paused. "The only way to unseal Mundus is… to challenge him."
"Is it this difficult?" The Snake sannin asked.
"Countless demons tried." The Elder stated. "Many Greater demons fell, trying to achieve this goal. For to challenge Mundus, the challenger must pass all tasks given to him by the castle…"
"Is it so hard?" Tsunade wondered.
Katsuyima shook her head. "No one knows… for anyone who enters has no way back until he or she succeeds."
"And no one did this before…"
"No."
"Then why are you so afraid of Uzumaki then?" Orochimaru asked.
"Because we believe he might very well do so." The Elder replied.
"But what makes him so different from other challengers?"
"He's… too human." Katsuyima stated. "He doesn't think like a demon, and that gives him a great advantage. Uzumaki is cunning, slimy and sneaky. The qualities most demons despise…"
"Wait a second…" Tsunade interrupted. "I thought demons should like negative qualities."
"That's where you're wrong." The Elder responded. "Demons honor things like power, desire, anger and revenge. Other ones rarely matters. But most demons engage their enemies face to face… Uzumaki Naruto will simply shoot his enemy in the back."
"Sounds like him." Orochimaru added.
"So, what are you going to do?" The Hokage asked.
"Clan Coalition Army will try to protect Overlord Mundus's castle with all of our strength. If we fail… I'm afraid to even think about it…"
"Wait, wait, wait!" The snake charmer interrupted once more. "What if Uzumaki loses?"
"That's not good either." Katsuyima stated. "Because that will free Mundus. And that's the third worst case scenario…"
"Third?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "What about first and second?"
"The second is if Uzumaki wins." The Elder said. "Then we'll have someone even more powerful than Mundus on our hands…"
"And first?"
"You really don't want to know that…"
Hell. Temen-ni-gru tower…
"Graaah!" Cerberus roared, breathing ice at Naruto.
"HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!" The blond disappeared in a flash of black, and reappeared under large dog's head. "Take this!" He shouted, cutting both Cerberus's legs open, but not chopping them off.
"Gah!" The dog demon gasped and fell down on its knees. "Why…?"
"Why what?!" Naruto asked smirking. "Stand up and fight!"
"Why are you holding back?" Cerberus asked. "You had several chances to cut down my heads, but you missed them. Why?"
Naruto's smirk widened. "Well, I see you've noticed it…" He said, sheathing his sword. "The reason is simple; I came here to get more followers. They are no good to me if they're dead, or maimed."
"I see…" Cerberus slowly stood up. "You need me to fight for you at my full strength."
"Exactly."
"Very well. You have proved your strength, I acknowledge your abilities. Free me, and I will fight for you."
Naruto grinned in satisfaction. "Done!"
SLASH.
The largest, and the only remaining, chain was sliced in half, freeing the old three headed demon from his capture.
"Free at last!" Cerberus exclaimed happily. "What is your bidding, my master?"
"Do you know where Mundus's castle is?" Naruto asked.
"Yes, I do."
"Great, one less problem." The blond stated. "Now here's what you'll do. Go to Mundus's castle… remember Nevan?"
"Yes, master."
"Well, she should be there. Tell her that you're from me and that I ordered to brief you." Naruto commanded. "Now if you see that the battle has already started, then you are to kill any summons in the vicinity. Got it?"
"Acknowledged."
"Good, now go."
"Master?"
"What now?"
"I think you should be warned…" Cerberus stated.
"Warned about what?" Naruto asked. 'I thought I oversaw everything…'
"If you defeat Mundus… there is a chance it can awaken Overlord Baal."
Naruto's eyes widened.
"Oversaw my ass!" Yamato commented.
"Well, let's hope it won't and that jabroni will stay in his tower forever."
Cerberus nodded. "Yes, let's… I shall take my leave then, master." The Remnant said and ran away at great speed.
"Ah-ha! There is the door!" Naruto exclaimed, walking straight towards said door.
"So, you've got one. How many more do you want?"
The demon shrugged. 'One more should be enough. We will be fighting against summons mostly. Mundus doesn't have that many of his servants anymore. Only Spider and Griffin are still at his side, the rest abandoned him a long time ago.'
"Wait a second! Summons?! Why would they try to stop you?!" Yamato asked in confusion.
Naruto smirked. 'Oh, they will! And they will try their hardest to stop me! However I have foreseen it… and counted on it.'
"Why's that?"
"Hmhmhm…" The blond chuckled. "Summons will be fighting without their Elders. That will give us a real opportunity to greatly lower their numbers!"
"You're one sly son of a bitch! Is that why you planned your attack in human world on the same time?"
"Exactly. With all shit down here in hell, they won't be able to give any help to their summoners." Naruto stated. "But unlike them I still have my ace in the hole. I told Yugito and Kirabi to stay away from the main battle for the exact reason… but they won't."
"What?"
"I said they won't. They will break my order and attack, using their bijuu strength, crushing our enemies in the process. I want to see the faces of those Konoha motherfuckers when their summoning will fail once again!"
"Alright, human world's fight should be the least of your concerns now. Concentrate on finding this second loser, and beat the shit out of him!"
"On it!"
Moon Country. Royal palace…
"Michirou-dono, Hikaru-dono." Shikamaru bowed politely. "I'm Nara Shikamaru, the commander of Konohagakure's defense team. We are here to protect your country from Uzumaki Naruto's threat.
Michirou bowed back. "I can't thank you enough, Shikamaru-san." Moon Country's king stated. "Please feel yourself at home. If we can provide you with anything, just ask."
"Thank you, Michirou-dono." Shikamaru bowed once again and walked to the balcony. "So, how do you feel?"
Temari, who was leaning on the balcony rail, glanced at him. "How do you think I feel?"
"Not good." The new hermit replied. "You do understand we will be fighting against him, right?"
Temari just stared forward silently.
"Mendokuse…" Shikamaru sighed. "Look, there is no room for hesitation now. We must stop Naruto before…"
Temari flinched at the mention of Naruto's name.
"We must stop him, Temari!" Shikamaru almost shouted, grabbing her shoulder. "He will not stop until everything you love is destroyed!"
Temari's eyes narrowed. 'What do you know about what I love…?' Suddenly she pushed herself off the rail and walked away.
"Temari…"
"Excuse me, Michirou-sama?" The Suna kunoichi asked.
"Yes… Temari-san I believe?"
The girl nodded. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." The king replied smiling.
"Why…?"
"Excuse me?"
Temari paused. "Why did you refuse Naruto's offer? I heard he saved your life once…"
Michirou frowned. "You know, Temari-san… It was actually Uzumaki Naruto, who has taught me what's important. Do you know what it is?"
Girl's eyes widened. "I… What is it?"
"The most important thing is to protect what's precious." The king stated. "Uzumaki Naruto taught me that… and I believed. And my wife believed, and my son believed, and my entire country believed! We believed in him and in what he said back then!"
"But why then?!" Temari shouted in confusion. "Isn't it enough for you?"
"That's exactly why, my girl…" Michirou said calmly. "Because I want to protect what's precious… and I will protect it until the last moment of my life, and no matter from whom… Even if it is from Naruto himself…"
Temari's eyes widened even more.
"Go, and wear these headbands proudly as a sign that you are finally a shinobi!"
"Hai!"
FLASH.
"I hereby promote you, Sabaku no Temari, to the rank of chuunin! Take this vest and wear it with honor!"
"Hai!"
FLASH.
"You're a jounin now, Temari…" Gaara said, smiling. "What do you feel?"
"I… I don't really know."
"I see." Kazekage replied. "Well, from this moment on, you're answering directly to me. Do you swear your complete loyalty to the Hidden Sand village?"
"I… I swear…"
FLASH.
"FINALLY, NARUTO HAS COME BACK…!"
FLASH.
"How do you people live here, you must be insane!"
FLASH.
"In that tent it will be Temari-san and I."
FLASH.
"It doesn't matter what your name is!"
FLASH.
"If you want to see Naruto fuck that blonde girl senseless, give me a HELL YEAH!"
FLASH.
"Hah…hah… Oh my god… oh God! Please, Naruto-kun… Please don't stop… Please I want more!" She fell on top of him and started to desperately lick his cheeks and lips. "Please make me cum again! Please I want to feel your hot white beautiful seed inside of me again!"
Naruto smirked. "Really?" A sudden idea came to his mind. "What will you do to have it?"
"Anything!"
Smirk widened. "Then from now on you'll do exactly as I say."
"Yes! Yes, I will!"
"Good."
Temari rubbed her chest. 'Am I… Am I really…?'
"Is everything alright, Temari?" Shikamaru asked from behind.
Said girl jumped and turned around. "Y-Yes… everything's okay…" She replied. 'For now…'
Hell. Temen-ni-gru tower…
"What a lovely place this tower is!" Naruto exclaimed, observing some room that really looked more like a torture chamber. "You know, I'm thinking of buying it!"
"Well, it's just great, and…"
"Sparda… SPARDA!"
"What the…?" Naruto stopped… just in time to see another huge demon land in front of him.
"That odor! I know it!" He stated, taking some firm steps forward.
"Really? I don't remember meeting you before…" Naruto replied, raising an eyebrow.
"That sword! It holds the stench of betrayal, the odor of the accursed Sparda!" The demon clenched his fists. "I am Beowulf! And I will destroy everything connected with Sparda!" And with that Beowulf lunged at Naruto with his fist.
"Hn." Since he had no desire to test this Beowulf's punch strength, Naruto did a quick spinning somersault backwards, neatly avoiding the strike.
"Ho-ho! You're a fast one! Not like that Cerberus jabroni…" The blond said.
"Cerberus?!" Beowulf spat. "That fool is not worthy to even fight me!"
"How confident!" Naruto stated. "And one more thing…" Naruto raised his left hand with sheathed Yamato in it. "This sword belongs to me. And if you say one more time that I'm connected with Sparda, I will destroy you, despite my wish to keep you alive."
"Don't get ahead of yourself!" Beowulf shouted. "The only one who will be killed is you!" The large demon got on all four and ran forward at his top speed.
"Finally! Some worthy opponent!" Naruto ran forward as well, but when two demons were close to each other, he grabbed Yamato's hilt with his right hand.
"Rapid Slash!"
Naruto and Beowulf ran past each other and stopped…
CLICK.
The blond sheathed his sword.
"Graaah!" Beowulf howled when many small cuts appeared on his body. "You will pay for that! Take this!" He suddenly spread four wings behind his back.
Naruto cocked his head to the side. "What the…" Then his eyes widened when many small feathers appeared out of nowhere around his enemy. "Oh shit!"
"You will not get away!" Beowulf shouted, sending his feathers in barrages at Naruto.
"Fuck!" Naruto ran as fast as he could, but that was not enough. Several feathers managed to cut through his skin and muscles. "Gah…" He gasped, pulling one of them out of his body. 'Ho-ho! Now that's interesting!'
"What is it?" Yamato asked.
'He possesses light magic! Now that is a rare ability for a demon…' Naruto explained. 'But I need to get this shit out of me real quick…'
"Why?"
'Light magic weakens demons…'
"You don't have the time to rest!" Beowulf shouted and sent another barrage of his steel hard and razor sharp feathers.
"Tough luck, jabroni!" Naruto replied and disappeared in a flash of black… reappearing behind Beowulf's back.
"Dimension Slash!"
The blond quickly unsheathed his sword, creating a massive shockwave… and his eyes widened when Beowulf effectively evaded, using his speed.
"Surprised?!" He asked mockingly. "You may disappear from my sight, but my sense of smell is too accurate to miss your location! You won't be able to surprise me!"
Naruto sheathed his blade once again. 'Well, well… He's pretty tough…'
"Just don't cry, okay? I'll buy you a cola can!"
'Shut up!' Naruto snapped. 'Looks like he will outdo me in ranged combat… so I guess I'll attack in close one!'
"Mai!" Naruto disappeared in a flash of black once again, and reappeared in midair above his opponent… only for his eyes to widen.
Beowulf was about to strike the ground below the two of them.
'Shit, he's fast!' Was the last thought in Naruto's mind before Beowulf's fist hit the ground.
IMPACT.
"Gah!" Naruto gasped, when he was thrown hard into a wall. 'Fucking hell, if it'll continue like this, then I'm gonna lose!'
"Do you see my power now?" Beowulf asked. "You cannot beat me!"
"Hmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled, slowly getting back up. "Hmhmhmhmhm… HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Are you completely insane? Why are you laughing when you're about to lose your life?"
"Hahaha! Lose my life?! I don't think so…" Naruto replied as black aura enveloped him. "Besides… I can't die now! The party is just about to start! Hahahahahaha!"
Now Beowulf's eyes… eye widened. "Released form…"
Naruto gave him an insane grin. "That's right!" He stated, observing his black wings. "Rejoice, Beowulf! You've actually pushed me to this level!" The blond raised his, now gloved, left hand and Yamato disappeared from it. "But now I don't even need my weapon to beat you!"
"You are confident, but that won't be…" Beowulf stopped his rant when Naruto disappeared. It was not any teleportation, just the burst of speed.
"And you are losing confidence." Naruto said smugly, flying in midair in front of his opponent.
"GRAAAH!" Beowulf roared again and light energy exploded from his body. However…
"Not good enough pal." Naruto stated, still on the same place.
"I-Impossible…!"
"My turn!" Naruto lunged at his enemy. "Tyrant…" The blond uppercutted his opponent in the gut with so much strength, that it actually lifted him from the ground. "Rave!" He then finished his combination with blazing straight punch, sending Beowulf into the wall.
"Gah!" The large demon gasped when he fell down after hitting the wall, burned and battered. "Such… such strength…" He muttered.
"Yield." Naruto stated coldly. He then pointed his right hand at his fallen enemy and black energy started to gather in front of it.
'C-Cero!' Beowulf thought in shock and slight fear. 'He can do Cero, he beat me with only one attack and he has a released form… I guess I have no choice.' He bowed unwillingly. "Very well, I surrender."
Naruto canceled Cero. "A wise choice. Get up."
The large demon obeyed.
"What is your bidding… master?" Beowulf asked.
"Oh, stop this shit!" Naruto replied, returning to his normal form. "Cut the master crap and rejoice once again!"
"Why?"
"Because we are going straight to war, pal!"
Beowulf smirked. 'Maybe this won't be so bad after all!'
Konohagakure no sato. Hokage's office…
"Tsunade-sama! Stop drinking at work! You…"
"Shut up, Shizune!" The Hokage spat. "Who do you think you are?"
Black haired woman's eyes widened. "Tsunade-sama, I…" She never saw her master in such anger.
"Know your… place!" The blond sannin stated. "Or I will be looking for a new assistant because of your sudden and uncertain death!"
Shizune gasped.
"Get out of my office!"
Meaningless to say, Shizune disappeared immediately.
"Fucking Naruto…" Tsunade poured herself some more sake. 'Damn, I almost said it…'
"Know your role, and shut your mouth!"
"Gh… Fuck!" She hit her desk with her fist again, but not breaking it this time. 'I was so determined to fight him to the end! And here he comes… says a few words, and I want to be beside him again…'
"You're forgetting he gave you your age back!" Sudden voice stated.
Tsunade shot up from her seat. "Who's there?!"
"No one, you fool." Same very familiar voice replied. "And if you want to know who I am, look in the mirror."
Hokage's eyes widened. 'Holy shit! Don't tell me I'm turning into Sakura!'
"Nah, you can never be as useless as she is… Besides I will never say Shannaro!"
'Umm… you just did…"
"Wha… Fuck you! And get more sake!"
Tsunade sat down with a sigh. 'Well, at least we agree on something. I do need more sake right now…'
Silence remained for a moment.
"Say… Can you really forgive him after everything he's done?"
"I don't know…"
"And what about Konoha? Can you forgive it?"
Suddenly the memory of Naruto flashed before her eyes.
"You betrayed me as well!"
"Maybe, but it's one person against the entire village…"
"Who is easier to forgive?"
"…"
Netherworld. Mundus castle's outskirts…
"Do you think he can do this?" Trish asked.
Nevan shrugged. "I don't know… but if anyone can, it's him."
"By the way, what do you think about those guys?" The blond demoness pointed ahead at the countless army of summons, accompanied by several grand demons.
"Well…" The red haired woman started. "I think that if Naruto won't hurry up his ass, we will be fucked."
"How negative!" Nearby standing Berial replied. "I think this is gonna be one hell of a battle!"
"You battle maniac!" Nevan stated. "Can't you think about something else?!"
"Sure can!" Berial nodded. "But Naruto forgot the girls…"
"And we're not good enough for you?!" Trish fumed.
"Umm… that's not what I meant…"
Suddenly their conversation was interrupted by a slight earth trembling.
"What the…?"
"Hold on, guys." Nevan said. "I can sense our guest already."
"Nice to see you again, Nevan."
"Yes, you too Cerberus." The witch replied. "Were you sent by Naruto?"
"I was." Three headed dog nodded. "And who is Trish?"
"I am!" The blond demoness raised her hand.
"Good. Then everything is in order."
"So where is Naruto?" Berial asked.
"Stayed to find the other Remnant."
Nevan raised an eyebrow. "That one? Oh boy, this may get ugly…"
"Why?" The blond asked.
"Well… he can be pretty stubborn." The red haired demoness explained.
"By the way…" Cerberus started. "What the hell is this?" He nodded at the summons's army.
"Hmhmhm…" Berial chuckled. "That, my friend, is the very thing we are going to destroy!"
All three heads licked their lips. "How lovely!"
Then…
"Sorry, we're late!"
"Naruto!" Trish exclaimed happily. "And who is your new friend?"
"My name is Beowulf." The demon stated. "Where is the enemy?"
"Ho-Ho! Someone's impatient!" Nevan mocked. "What, got your ass whopped too quickly?"
"Grrrrr… Don't push your luck, Nevan!"
"Relax, pal!" Naruto exclaimed. "There's our enemy!"
"How many…" Beowulf said dreamingly.
"Haha! Not for long!" Berial stated. "Their numbers will be greatly decreased after we're done with them."
"Well, bring it on!" Beowulf was about to rush forward, but Naruto stopped him.
"Wait a second, I have something to say!" He walked on the nearby hill. "FINALLY, NARUTO HAS COME BACK TO HE…" Everyone slapped their faces. "TO HE… To heck with this! Let's whop candy ass!"
"Uzumaki Naruto!" Sudden shout interrupted him.
The demon looked at the speaker. He happened to be some pretty large summon from the dragon clan.
'Oh? Dragons really decided to get their lazy asses up! What the world is coming to…'
"Uzumaki Naruto…" The dragon repeated. "We of the Clan Coalition Army give you one chance to turn around and leave wherever you came from."
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! And why would I ever do that?!" Naruto responded.
"As you can see, we have numbers on our side." The dragon said. "It is four thousands against… six. You are clearly outnumbered."
"Hn." Naruto smirked. "Maybe… but you're still outmatched!"
"Well, you'd better reconsider. We have some very experienced warriors…"
"WHAT?"
"I said you'd better reconsider. We…"
"WHAT?"
"I said you'd better…"
"WHAT?"
"I said…"
"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?"
The dragon glared. "I see you won't back down… a shame. Well don't tell me I didn't warn you when you lose."
"KNOW YOUR ROLE, AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Naruto shouted. "And the only thing that's gonna get lose is Naruto's boot straight up your ROOOODYYY POOOOO CANDY ASS! IF YOU SMEEEEEEEEEEEEELALALALALALAL AAAAAWWWWW WHAT NARUTO IS COOCKING!"
(Starting song: "Survival of the sickest" by Saliva.)
"LET'S ROCK!" Five of his allies rushed into the battle immediately.
"Surround them and attack from all sides!" The dragon commanded.
"Don't give a shit about their surroundings and lay the smack down on AAAALLLL their candy asses!" Naruto commanded as well. Actually he was the only one who still hasn't rushed into fight. Oh no, he was still standing on that hill and drinking cola.
"Graaaa!" Being the fastest… scratch that, being the most reckless, Beowulf reached the enemies first, rushing through them like a train.
"Hey, leave some for us, you son of a bitch!" Berial shouted, impaling some large turtle with his blazing sword.
"Chill, guys!" Nevan yelled, frying an entire squad of toads with lightning. "There are thousands of them! You'll all have some!"
"I don't want some! I want everyone!" Beowulf stated, killing summons left and right with his feathers.
"Haha, that's a good one!" Naruto commented, when he saw Trish getting on top of Cerberus and shooting summons from his back.
"Uzumaki!" Same dragon who spoke to him before flew in front of him.
"Hmm?" Naruto asked, drinking from his cola can.
"I am Kraden! The holy knight of his majesty king Throzax! I never lost in battle and have been training to confront an Overlord in combat for five hundred years!" A massive sword appeared in dragon's right hand in a flash of light. "I challenge you to a fight to death!"
Naruto took another gulp from his can and burped. "Well hell, I am Uzumaki Naruto. I'm the world's toughest son of a bitch. I never lost in a cola drinking competition and was training… shit, I actually wasn't…" He said, scratching his head. "And you come out here, and challenging me to a fight…"
"That's right!"
"Well… that ain't fair…" Naruto stated. "Look at ya. Look at ya…" He paused. "Now look at me. That ain't fair."
Kraden was about to speak again, but Naruto was faster.
"No, look at me again… Now look at them." He pointed at his fighting comrades. "These guys, who are trashing your army… what did you call it again?"
"Clan Coali…"
"It doesn't matter what you call it! The fact of the matter is this, jabroni. These guys, who are thrashing your fucking army right now, got all their shit beaten out of them by me. And now some shrived up monkey penis like yourself is challenging me to a fight?! Now that ain't fair." The blond said, drinking from his can once again.
"You dare disrespect me, Uzumaki?! I…"
"Seeing as Naruto was not done speaking, you should know your role, and shut your mouth!" Naruto interrupted once again. "Understand this, you piece of trash! I don't care about you… as a matter of fact, you ain't nothing… AND NARUTO MEANS NOTHING compared to Naruto! So you know what you can do?! You can take your challenge, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"
The dragon glared. "You are the one, who don't understand, Uzumaki. You don't have a choice in the matter! For lord Throzax, for… GAH!"
"I've had enough of you." Naruto said, withdrawing his blade from Kraden's eye. "Don't interrupt my show." He added, sheathing Yamato and drawing another cola can… but just as he opened it…
"Uzumaki Naruto!" Ten old monkeys landed around him. They all were almost Naruto's size and each held a different weapon.
"Go away, don't interrupt my fun!" Naruto stated, drinking from his can.
"Uzumaki Naruto!" Another monkey started. "Your crime is beyond redemption! We will be your judges and executioners. Your sentence is…"
"Hadou #4 Byakurai!" Naruto said and a beam of light pierced monkey's forehead.
Nine other monkeys wanted to attack immediately, but Naruto quickly raised his hands in defeat.
"Hold it!" He said and monkeys stopped. "I… There are too many of you guys, so… I think I'll surrender…"
Now that was unexpected. All monkey warriors were rooted to the ground by his statement… and that proved to be their downfall.
"Hadou #90 Kurohitsugi!"
Five monkeys were suddenly trapped inside of black coffin. Then several pre-death screams were heard from behind, and then the coffin disappeared, revealing five dead monkeys and one Naruto, who was still drinking his cola, towering over his dead opponents.
"Hold it!" Naruto shouted when four remaining monkeys tried to attack once again. "I didn't drink the entire can yet. And if I waste another can on you motherfuckers, I'm gonna be pissed."
Of course monkeys continued their attack.
"Morons…" Naruto muttered. Then he threw cola can in the air and summoned his sword. "Rapid Slash!"
Five warriors ran past each other, with Naruto quickly somersaulting backwards.
"There." He raised his hand to grab the falling cola can.
Then two things happened. First – monkeys exploded into a fountain of blood. And second – cola can slipped from Naruto's grip and fell down.
"Oh no…" Naruto fell on his knees. "No! You'll pay for this!" The demon walked closer to the battlefield and looked down on it. "Oh, you will fucking pay…! Dimension Slash!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" An entire group of summons screamed when they were hit by Naruto's massive shockwave.
"Not done yet, you motherfuckers!" Naruto jumped high into the air and drew his sword once again. "Medigo Flame!" His sword slashes created some sign under a large group of summons… a sign that soon exploded, killing all animals in the process. "Haha! Try to sue me now, Greenpeace!"
"It's Uzumaki! He entered the battle!" Someone suddenly shouted.
"Attack him together!" Another someone added. "If we take him down, this is a victory!"
And just like that, instead of attacking Naruto's subordinates, summons began the assault of Naruto himself.
"Wrong, you imbeciles! Now you will feel the full fury of Uzumaki Naruto, who didn't catch his cola can!" Naruto stated. "Fatal Eclipse!"
"Oh, sweet Gaia save us…" Someone muttered… just as Naruto's enormous sphere exploded, leaving no survivors.
"KATSU!"
"Damn!" Nevan cursed. "Naruto, baby, can you please go inside this fucking castle?! If this continues like this, you're gonna kill everyone, and leave nothing for us."
"Yeah, you go kick Mundus's ass." Trish said, shooting someone down from Cerberus's back. "We'll deal with these without you."
Naruto scowled. "Fine." In a flash of black he teleported near the entrance. "Leave some alive for questioning." He said and entered through the door, which politely opened in front of him.
"Nothing too much…" Yamato commented, observing castle's interior.
'Yeah, I expected more… more…'
"Welcome, Uzumaki Naruto." Sudden voice greeted him, making Naruto raise an eyebrow. Why? Well…
"You know… Either Mundus actually did a transsexual operation real quick, or you actually are not Mundus."
Indeed, the voice was very much of a female.
"Oh, you know I'm not Mundus." The voice said again teasingly. "In fact, I know you know about the so-called trap that no one can get through… Well, you're on your way there! Have a nice trip!"
Instantly Naruto was enveloped in a very thick mist.
"What the fuck?" The blond asked, looking around. "Where the hell am I?!"
"Fuck me if I know. Try to look around…"
Naruto shrugged. "Indeed…" He walked forward… and after a few minutes the mist started to clear.
"Wait, I see something!"
"What is it?"
"It's a… sign…"
"And, what does it say?" Yamato wondered.
Naruto pulled down his sunglasses to get a better view.
"Welcome to… Silent hill…"
...
Well, the chapter is gone. If you want another omake, give me a HELL YEAH!
…
No?
…
Still no?
…
Well, I wrote it anyway. Besides, when I wrote Naruto vs. Sailor Moon, there were many messages like "I wanted Naruto to fuck Sailor Moon". Well, if you really want that kind of fight, this omake is for you. Here we go!
...
Omake: Naruto vs. Wonder Woman…
Darthemius's cell phone: "I have voices in my head, they…"
Darthemius (picking up his cell phone): "Yeah…"
Voice in the phone: "N-Neo…?"
Darthemius (In anger): "No it's not Neo, you sick freak! Get a life!" (Cancelling the call)
Naruto: "Burp… That Morpheus guy again?"
Darthemius (Sweatdropping): "Yeah… I changed my fucking number three times! How is he doing that?!"
Naruto (Drinking from his cola can): "Gulp… man I'm bored. Do we have a work?"
Darthemius (Leaning on his desk): "Nah, nothing right now…"
Naruto: "Damn, I feel sleepy…"
Darthemius: "Shit, it's winter holidays… I want an orgy…"
Naruto: "Yeah, me too…"
Darthemius: "You know, I always wanted to try something…" (Opening the window) "BITCHES! IF YOU WANT TO FUCK, GIVE ME A HELL YEAH!"
Silence…
Naruto: "Any luck?"
Darthemius (Frowning): "What do you think?"
Naruto: "Shit… I think I'm about to visit a dream world. Wake me up if something will come up."
Darthemius: "Well…"
Darthemius's cell phone: "I have voices in my head…"
Darthemius (Picking up his phone): "If this is Morpheus again… Yeah?" (Tilting his head) "Really? A job? Sure, we can do that… Yes, we need the money… No, we don't care who it is… No, we won't get caught… What do you mean why?! We are the heroes of this story! No, it was just an accident, and we got cleared of all charges… Sure, very well. Where? Okay, got it!"
Naruto: "Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…"
Darthemius: "Wake up, you sleeping son of a bitch!"
Naruto: "Zzzzzzzzzzzz… No, mommy, I want to do you from behind…"
Darthemius (Stopping dead in his tracks): "Wha…?"
Naruto: "Zzzzzzzzz… No, mommy, I can't do it inside, zzzzzz… you will get… zzzzzzz…"
Darthemius (Sweatdropping): "Is this guy serious?"
Naruto: "Zzzzzzzzz… No, don't suck me off too much, mommy… zzzzzzz… I'll cum… zzzzz…"
Darthemius (Frowning): "Does he want to get laid this much?" (Shaking Naruto's shoulder) "Hey, man?"
Naruto: "Mmm… Mommy?"
Darthemius: "No, you moron, it's me, Darthemius! Get your lazy ass off my couch!"
Naruto (Slowly standing up): "Shit… I had such a nice dream…"
Darthemius (Nodding): "You mean about fucking your mother and how you shouldn't cum inside? Great indeed."
Naruto (With wide eyes): "Y-You won't tell a soul… right?"
Darthemius (Grinning evilly): "Sure I won't. Now let's go, we have a job to do."
Naruto: "A job, really?! Hell yeah!"
Some roof…
Naruto: "Shit man, why is it so cold here?!"
Darthemius: "It is winter after all…"
Naruto: "Yeah… Why are we on a damn roof anyway?"
Darthemius (Shrugging): "We are waiting for our target."
Naruto (Nodding): "Right. Who is the target by the way?"
Darthemius (Shrugging again): "Dunno… woman… something… Just waste her quickly and let's go back to drinking. We have an orgy to prepare for the New Year as well."
Naruto: "Sure! I will end it double quick!"
?: "Stay where you are!"
Naruto and Darthemius: "Wha…?"
Wonder Woman: "Stop right there, you villains!"
Naruto (With wide eyes): "HO-HO-HOLY SHIIIIIIIT!" (Slapping his twitching hip) "E-E-Eeeeasy big fella!"
Darthemius (With the same expression): "Damn! Tell me who I need to kill to get between this two legs!"
Wonder Woman (Seriously): "You won't be getting anywhere. I'm taking you in."
Naruto (Excitedly): "Sure, baby! You can take me anytime!"
Darthemius: "Wait a second! She's the target!"
Naruto (With wide eyes): "No shit?! I don't want to fight her!"
Wonder Woman (Taking a fighting stance): "You don't have a choice."
Darthemius (Thinking for a second): 'What if…?' (Raising his hand): "Wait!"
Wonder woman: "What is it? Are you going to cooperate?"
Darthemius (Shaking his head): "Sorry. Villain code and Anime rules forbid us from that… However, being the gentlemen we are, we just can't bring ourselves to hit a woman."
Naruto (Turning to Darthemius with 'Are you crazy?' look): "Really?"
Darthemius: "Yes."
Wonder Woman: "And?"
Darthemius (Shrugging): "Well, being the great hero you are, why don't you take on the two of us in another kind of competition? If we lose, we will come with you willingly."
Wonder Woman (Dropping her battle stance): "Very well. What is this competition of yours?"
Darthemius (Grinning evilly): "How about 'who cums first' competition?"
Wonder Woman (With wide eyes and a blush on her face): "W-What?"
Darthemius: "Simple, we'll have a little sex competition. Whoever loses consciousness first – loses."
Wonder Woman (Hesitating): "I…"
Darthemius (Smiling slyly): "Don't tell me that a hero runs from a challenge."
Wonder Woman (With determination): "A true Amazon never backs down from a challenge!"
Darthemius (Nodding with satisfaction): "Alrighty then! Naruto, fetch!"
Naruto (Launching himself at Wonder Woman): "Bow Wow! WHOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!"
Wonder Woman: "Kyah! W-Wait, you're…"
Naruto took out his 'tool'…
Wonder Woman (With wide eyes): "Oh my… is that…"
Naruto: "MOOOOOOO!" (Tearing off woman's clothes) "Here we go!"
Wonder Woman: "Stop! It's my first time… It won't fit! AAAAAAHH!"
Darthemius (Making himself comfortable): "Yeah, a free show!" (Taking out a cola can and a video camera) "Let's enjoy!"
Two hours later…
Darthemius (In shock): "Motherfucker…"
Wonder Woman (Moving her hips up and down on top of Naruto): "I won't lose!"
Naruto: "Ah! Help! Darth, I'm gonna die here, man! Switch with me!"
Darthemius (Removing Wonder Woman from Naruto): "Hey, You should take care of this as well." (Pointing at his dick)
Wonder Woman: "I still won't lose!" (Gripping Darthemius's penis with her hand) "You, however, are going down!"
Darthemius (Smirking): "We'll see about that!"
Another two hours later…
Wonder Woman: "What's my name?" (Slapping Darthemius's face) "I said what's my name, bitch?"
Darthemius: "Ah! Diana! Your name is Diana! Just stop hitting me!"
Diana: "Shut up! I'll do whatever I want with you!" (Licking her lips)
Darthemius: "Ahhhhh! I'm cumming again!"
Diana: "AHHHH!" (Falling on top of Darthemius) "Huff… Huff… Looks like you're at your limit…"
Darthemius: "Looks like you're as well…"
Diana: "Maybe… You are good, but I refuse to lose!"
Darthemius (With wide eyes): "Naruto! She's sucking me off again! Do something!"
Naruto: "Man, I can barely lift a finger…"
Darthemius (In panic): "Shit, man, shit!"
Naruto: "Oh, fuck it all!" (Getting behind Diana)
Diana: "What are you doing?"
Naruto: "Sandwich the bitch!" (Shoving his dick in her ass)
Darthemius: "Fucking hell!" (Entering Diana's pussy)
Diana: "Ah, wait! It isn't fair!"
Naruto (Moving back and forth): "We're villains."
Darthemius: "Sorry, babe. I will hate myself, but I can't let my friend down."
Diana: "N-No…!" (Rolling her eyes into the back of her head): "I… I'm feeling it!"
Naruto: "Press harder!"
Darthemius (Cumming): "FUCK!"
Naruto (Cumming): "SHIT!"
Diana (Cumming): "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Naruto, Darthemius and Diana: "SIGH…"
Naruto (Rolling from Diana's back): "Well?"
Darthemius (Lifting Diana's head up from his chest): "Yep, she's out."
Naruto: "Yes! We won!"
Darthemius: "Damn! Best fuck in my entire life!"
Naruto: "Best fuck? BEST FUCK?! We almost fucking died!"
Darthemius (Smiling): "Yeah. But if I could choose how to die, this would've been my choice."
Naruto (Smiling back): "Yeah, I got that…"
Darthemius: "Hey, cheer up, man!" (Giving Naruto a high five) "The two of us are unstoppable!"
?: "I heard voices over there!"
Darthemius: "What the…?"
Naruto: "Someone's coming…"
?: "Over the… OH MY GOD!"
Naruto and Darthemius (Sharing a glance): "Who is this clown?"
Before them stood a man in red boots and with a large 'S' on his chest…
To be continued…
...
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone