Chapter 433: 17
I Will Bathe In Your Blood
"Harry, thank you for coming." Professor Dumbledore smiled, rising from his seat and greeting the young man who represented so much to their world, even though he didn't know it. "Please, sit down."
"Yes sir." Harry nodded, taking the seat indicated. He gave the office a quick once over, noting that nothing had changed since his last visit. The many portraits of former Headmasters stared down at him curiously. Harry found it rather disturbing, but remained silent on the matter and waited for Dumbledore to speak to him.
Dumbledore looked at the young man before him. Harry sat straight backed, head held high, much like Professor McGonagall. His green eyes were focused solely on the man in front of him, though Dumbledore knew he had already taken in much of his surroundings. That's was one of his oldest lessons and one Harry would continue to rely on long into the future. His hands rested on his thighs, ready to react should the need arise.
Dumbledore felt his heart break now as he watched Harry. No teenager should sit the way Harry was now. No child should have led the life Harry had been forced to live. Harry, like all of his peers, should have grown up with two loving parents, running around a yard with grass stains on his knees, and climbing trees and dreaming of fantastical adventures. He should have come to Hogwarts at eleven and made dozens of friends and fallen in love and attempted to find new and interesting places to snog girls.
He should never have been taught a thousand ways to incapacitate an enemy much less to kill. There was no denying that Harry was one of the greatest soldiers in history, especially considering he wasn't a part of any kind of real military. And that one simple undeniable fact broke Dumbledore's heart deeply. The old man feared the end of his days, for he knew two people were waiting for him on the other side to make eternity the worst of hells.
"Well, it's been quite a while since we last spoke. I'm must admit I find myself curious as to how things are going for you." Dumbledore said kindly, as he levitated two steaming mugs of tea to his desk from a small table near the wall.
"My studies are going well." Harry said. "But, we already knew they would be. And with the exception of Professor Snape, the teachers have been kind to me. I am… regretful of what transpired between the Professor and myself…"
"I know you are, Harry. I must confess though, I am not as cross with you as I probably should be. Such incidents are not good for student teacher relations, if you understand my meaning. But what I meant was how are you doing, socially speaking? Dumbledore smiled, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his desk.
"I believe that I have accomplished what I was sent here to do, sir. I have made friends." Harry said flatly.
"That's good, but you are aware that it was not a mission, Harry. It was our hope that you could learn to socialize with your peers and make friends of your own free will. People whom you were comfortable with, and who you could learn from." Dumbledore pointed out.
"I have, sir. My Gryffindor house mates are supportive, and helpful. Neville has become a close confidant for me. Lavender and Parvati are kind, and willing to listen should I need to … unload as they say. And Hermione has…" Harry's voice drifted off and his eyes became unfocused. Dumbledore gave the boy a bright, genuine smile.
"It seems your relationship with Miss Granger is quite the topic of discussion amongst the other students. If I may pry, what would you say your feelings for Miss Granger are?" The headmaster asked curiously.
"I'm unsure, sir." Harry replied honestly. "I've been experiencing so many new... I enjoy being around her, sir. She makes me... she is..."
Dumbledore chuckled lightly. "I understand what you mean Harry. I would ask that you do your best not to repress anything you might feel. Allow yourself to experience your emotions, as it is the only way to understanding them. I would also ask that you try your best to treat Miss Granger with respect and honor."
"I don't know of any other way, sir." Harry replied making the headmaster nod with a smile.
"Very good." Dumbledore said, sitting back. "Now, there are several reasons I asked you to join me tonight. First and foremost is an update. I promised you that when you started here at Hogwarts, I would keep you informed on the progress of the war."
"I remember." Harry nodded.
Dumbledore cringed inwardly a bit. Ever since Harry turned twelve, and adopted this sort of hollow empty tone, Dumbledore had come to loathe speaking to the boy. Perhaps it was the many, many years of educating and speaking to over emotional teenagers, but Harry's manner of speaking always felt wrong to the old man.
"You will recall all I told you on your fifteenth birthday…" Dumbledore began. Harry stiffened. Dumbledore had expected that. Harry's fifteenth birthday was a day he would like to forget as well. On the other hand, it was one of the main reasons he felt so close to the young man. They had shared an experience that bonded them.
"As I recall… we said we wouldn't ever speak of that again." Harry said rather gruffly. Dumbledore understood the boy's sudden irritation. It had been a very dark day, not only for Harry, who'd arguably suffered the most, but for others as well.
That had been the day Dumbledore had revealed to Harry his importance in the coming war. Harry had been told of the prophecy that had led to the murder of his parents, and had led to him being hidden and trained to become what he was now.
It was also the day Harry learned of the lengths Voldemort had gone to in order to secure his immortality, which had then led to Harry inadvertently carrying a fragment of the Dark Lord's broken soul within him.
Dumbledore revealed everything he guessed, suspected and knew as fact about their enemy and his rise to power, and of the overall plan to bring him down. This needed to begin with a very old and dangerous ritual to remove the soul fragment from the boy. Harry had readily agreed, especially when he learned that Voldemort could one day figure out that there was a connection between them and exploit it.
It had been the first time in many years that Harry had shown any sort of vulnerability. It had been a lot to take in, after all. It had been a very long time since Harry had ever admitted to being afraid of anything. Dumbledore still felt a sharp stab of pain in his heart when he remembers the look of utter helplessness on Harry face when he'd finished telling the poor boy of his fate.
Harry had agreed to have the soul fragment removed, despite the potential danger. He had said that the mere idea of someone else in his head was disarming, and a terrible violation. Well, those hadn't been his exact words, but the gist of his feelings on the matter. Clearly Alastor Moody had influenced the boy deeper than they had all believed.
Dumbledore remembered the ritual was exhausting, and for Harry, an excruciating ordeal that had left him very close to death. Harry had remained in a coma for a month. When he awoke, Harry told the old headmaster of the images he had seen. Apparently, Harry had seen many of the horrific thins Voldemort had down. The murders, and the tortures. But the exorcism had bore unexpected fruit. Harry had witnessed through Voldemort's memories, the creation of five Horcruxes.
The Order of the Phoenix had been given a small gift that day. Dumbledore knew then what all the Horcruxes were. Salazar Slytherin's locket. Helga Hufflepuff's Cup. Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem. The Peverell Family Ring. The diary of Tom Marvolo Riddle.
Unfortunately, Harry was unable to tell them of the locations, but at least they now knew what to look for.
And then Harry asked that they never speak of his birthday again. He wished to bury the memory of the experience, and what he had seen deep within his mind, never to be remembered. Dumbledore had offered to obliviate him, but Harry had refused.
"We did, but as I told you, finding and destroying those items is the only way to defeat Voldemort for good. The search for the other artifacts continues though we believe to be close to the final three pieces. You will remember just before you started At Hogwarts I told you I had located the second right here within the school. It is safely locked away with the Ring, which I found back in June."
"And the last three?" Harry asked, looking sour.
"The first may reside within Gringotts. Our contact within the bank believes negotiations will be fruitful. We should know more by the end of the month. The second may be within the home of one of Voldemort's Death Eaters, though we are unsure as to which. The third and final piece we believe is on the black market. I have some very reliable… less than savory characters tracking it down for me." Dumbledore said confidently.
"And when you have them?" Harry asked.
"We destroy them. Then we can begin planning for the final confrontation with Lord Voldemort. In the mean time, we are working to significantly decrease his numbers. Something you helped with quite nicely, though I still wish you hadn't had to get involved." Dumbledore sighed.
"Yet, it's why you've had me trained, sir." Harry replied.
"Quite." Dumbledore said sadly. "I fear that in the coming months, we will require your help in the field, and that you will likely be leaving the school for days at a time. I am not worried about your schoolwork, but more about how this will affect your relationships."
"I don't understand sir." Harry said, looking troubled. Dumbledore merely smiled and shook his head.
"It doesn't matter right now." The old headmaster smiled gently. "What does matter are the requests I have to make of you."
"What requests, sir?"
"First, many students have begun asking about the training you have been giving to Mister Longbottom, and Missus Granger and Brown over the past few weeks. It is unsurprising, given the current climate, as well as the rumors of what took place between you and Professor Snape. Your peers have seen through your example that they do not have to be afraid, and wish to learn how to defend themselves." Dumbledore said rather proudly.
"You've inspired your schoolmates, and they've begun asking about a school sanctioned club that would help them to become stronger, or at least, better prepared." Dumbledore said, looking pointedly at Harry, who simply stared back patiently.
"I would like it if you would agree to heading up such a club. You would have a teacher there to help you, but you would be in charge of it." Dumbledore said plainly.
"You want me to train students?" Harry asked for clarification.
"I would. Many teachers have remarked on the marked improvement of Mister Longbottom. I daresay that Miss Granger needs little help in the academic department, but a little bit of physical activity will go a long way in bolstering her self esteem. And Miss Brown will likely benefit in the same way as Mister Longbottom. I daresay that more students could benefit from your tutelage." Dumbledore smiled.
"And I can run it my way?" Harry asked. Dumbledore smiled and nodded.
"Within reason. I should think that we don't want students dropping of exhaustion." Dumbledore laughed. Harry nodded.
"Alright." Harry gave a nod and Dumbledore clapped his hands in delight.
"Excellent."
"And the other request?" Harry asked. Dumbledore's smiled faded almost at once as he heaved a sigh.
"I wish for you to end your torment of Mister Malfoy and his friends." Dumbledore said heavily.
"When he apologizes to Hermione for the years of torment." Harry said with a shake of his head.
"Harry, while I can appreciate your intention to repay Mister Malfoy for his past transgressions against Miss Granger," Dumbledore began heavily. "I am afraid that young Mister Malfoy is never going to apologize. He is as stubborn and arrogant as his father. If you continue to provoke him, he will retaliate."
"You think he might actually try and attack me head on?" Harry asked. Dumbledore grimaced slightly, but nodded his head.
"His ego will not allow further humiliation. This school, like any other has a hierarchy, and Mister Malfoy believes himself to be at the top. He has suffered serious disgrace, and soon will feel he has only one way to regain what he sees as his rightful place."
"Sir, you told me the last time we spoke that you had known all along that Malfoy was behind most of what Hermione suffered through, though you were unable to prove it." Harry pointed out.
" Allowing him to get away with his crimes only served to fuel his ego and make him believe he was untouchable. He's been molded by his family to believe in the Pureblood agenda, and that Voldemort is some kind of god. He wants to follow in his father's footsteps, but I don't think he understands that his actions have consequences. It's time he learned. Harry offered. Dumbledore gave a weak smile but shook his head.
"I admire your reasoning Harry, but I don't think you will get the results you seek." Dumbledore said.
" No less than ten people have realized the error of their ways and have given Hermione the apologies she deserves. He may be headstrong, but I don't believe Malfoy a masochist. He'll make the apology, even if he doesn't truly mean it." Harry retorted.
"I'm sorry, but I think you are wrong, Harry. And I cannot allow this to continue. No more harassment of any of the other students, Harry." Dumbledore said with finality.
Harry stiffened, recognizing the order and gave nod of agreement. He would have to think of another way to force Draco to make his formal apology to Hermione.
"Is that all, sir?" Harry asked. Dumbledore could hear the disappointment in Harry's voice. He'd hated having to pull rank, as it were, but he also knew that Harry would not disobey a direct order.
"No, that is all. You are free to go. I shall make an announcement tomorrow at Breakfast in regards to the formation to your new club. What day would you like to begin?"
"Seeing as it is Friday night, Monday morning at five A.M. in the Entrance Hall." Harry said rising to his feet. Dumbledore smiled and dismissed the young man. He watched as Harry left the office, knowing that he had made the right decision. He also knew how tenacious Harry could be, and was fully aware that Harry would find another way to accomplish his goal. He would have to monitor the situation a bit more carefully. The Headmaster simply couldn't allow a duel between Harry and Draco to take place. While Locus was now a fugitive, the Malfoy name still held a massive amount of sway within society. Should Draco be cut down in a duel, Harry's future would be in question at best. Dumbledore and the world at large needed Harry free, even if they didn't know it yet.
The sun was setting far away over the mountains. It was painting the sky in hues of red and soft pink that made her sigh as she stared out the window at it. It was the perfect setting almost. It could only have been better if it was early summer and she was outside in the warm air, instead of sitting inside the castle.
Still, she couldn't complain too badly. She was sharing this with her boyfriend on whose lap she was sitting, with his strong arms wrapped around her middle, his chin resting on her left shoulder, breathing softly as he held her. To Hermione Granger, this was as close to heaven as she could get at the moment.
"It's really beautiful." She sighed.
"I like how it's reflected on the lake." Harry said softly. "Makes it look like it's on fire or something."
"It does, doesn't it?" Hermione agreed, smiling to herself when she felt Harry take her hand in his. She began running her thumb lightly over the back of his hand affectionately. He gave her hand a soft squeeze. She stared at they're joined hands, wondering just how and why she'd had gotten so lucky. A year ago she never would have been able to imagine sitting so comfortably with a boy, sharing a peaceful, romantic moment. Yet here she was.
"Hermione, do you remember when you told me part of being together in a boyfriend/girlfriend capacity meant we could explore our feelings?" Harry asked. Hermione sat up and turned to face her boyfriend who looked a little troubled.
"Yeah." She said rather lamely.
"When I spoke to Dumbledore last night, he asked me how I felt about you. Sirius has asked, and Neville asked me this morning." Harry said, sitting up a little straighter now and looking her in the eye, making her shiver.
"When did Neville..."
"You and Lavender were way behind us. We had stopped because we thought Lavender might pass out." Harry explained.
"Oh." Hermione said. "So… um what did you tell them?"
"Well that's the thing." Harry said, sitting up a bit. Hermione sat up and turned a bit so she could look at her boyfriend. "I was actually hoping you could help me understand why when I know I'm going to see you, I feel anxious. Or why sometimes I find myself thinking of what I might say to you in order to make you smile? I've been trying to figure it out for myself. Dumbledore said that by allowing myself to experience these feelings, I would understand them... but for the life of me, I can't. It isn't just one feeling. It's like thousands of them all at once."
"Ok." Hermione said, now feeling confused herself. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
"Yes." Harry said, surprising Hermione.
Most boys would never willingly talk about their feelings. It was like some sort of taboo or something. Yet another reason she was so happy to have met Harry. He hadn't ever learned that talking about your feelings was supposed to be some sort of weakness.
"Alright." Hermione said, feeling a little lightheaded by all of this. It was like out of a fever dream or something.
"You told me that I was the first thing you thought of when you woke up... I have those same thoughts. You're on my mind more and more, and it's distracting, and yet... I don't mind. I'm finding that spending time away from you is unpleasant."
Hermione couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips, and covered her mouth. Harry looked up and saw her eyes were watery, and looked alarmed.
"Did I... Did I upset..." He started but Hermione shook her head emphatically before leaning in and kissing him softly.
"No, you didn't hurt me. You made me happy again." She said in a gentle whisper. "Something you're getting increasingly good at, Mister Potter."
"Isn't that what I am supposed to do?" Harry asked, a look of bewilderment on his face that made Hermione giggle a bit.
"I'm no expert, as you know." Hermione said, capturing Harry's lips a bit more passionately. "But I think you might be falling for me."
"I am?" Harry asked sounding a little distressed.
"It's a good thing, Harry. I'm falling for you too, Harry." Hermione smiled. "But, we don't need to rush things, or try and label what we feel. Dumbledore's right. I think the more you and I allow ourselves to experience, the better we'll understand what's happening between us."
"It's difficult." Harry said between soft kisses. "I'm not used to not understanding what's happening with me."
"I know that feeling." Hermione laughed softly. She slipped her arms around Harry's neck and he pulled her into his lap once again. They began kissing a bit more, reveling in their closeness. Hermione sighed as Harry's hand cupped her cheek. She loved it when he did this. It never failed to make her feel like something precious. He was always so gentle with her, so tender. It always made her heart melt when they began kissing like this.
It also made her mind begin to conjure images that sent shivers down her spine. However, she felt it was still too soon to act upon her desires, no matter how pleasurable they might be. The most important reason for this was the simple fact that they were in school. There was no place that she could think of where they were guaranteed to be alone, with absolutely no chance of not being discovered. Between the teachers and Prefects, Hermione doubted there was anywhere that was safe.
The second reason was that she didn't like the idea of experiencing certain things for the first time in a broom cupboard. As much as she was growing to be in favor of allowing she and Harry to begin exploring each other a bit more, she really didn't fancy the thought of Harry groping her while a mop handle poked her in the back. She wanted it to be in a relaxed, comfortable setting. Was that too much to ask for?
She broke their kiss and settled against him again. Harry's embrace tightened comfortably and Hermione sighed contentedly once again. She stifled a laugh when she imagined telling Lavender about this later. Lavender was truly a romantic at heart and always swooned when Hermione would share details of her blossoming love life.
Hermione supposed she could understand. Lavender and Ron had been getting into more fights lately. Ron's over protectiveness was becoming quite the inconvenience to Lavender. At the same time, according to Lavender, Ron was becoming a bit insistent that their relationship get more physical. Ron was no longer happy with hot and heavy snog sessions anymore and had begun to get grabby. Lavender had actually had to slap him a few nights ago, and they were barely speaking at the moment.
"Disgusting."
Hermione didn't need to turn around to know who belonged to that voice. She felt Harry tense a bit, but he made no other movement.
"I think I'm going to have to give you both detention." Draco Malfoy said with delight.
"What for?" Hermione asked irritably. "We're not out of bounds. Curfew isn't for hours, and we're not doing anything against the rules."
"You're mere presence is a disruption, Granger." Malfoy drawled. Harry swung his legs off the ledge they had been sharing and allowed Hermione to stand up as he got up himself. He stared hard at Draco, waiting for whatever reason Draco would try and assign them detention.
"Public displays of affection are against the rules, Granger."
"Are they?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes." Draco snapped and Harry continued to stare at the blonde.
"Then you should assign detention to yourself as well. Just this morning I witnessed you holding hands with Parkinson." Harry replied, his stare boring into Draco's defiant gaze.
"That wasn't affection." Draco argued.
"And the kiss you shared with her outside of Potions?" Harry asked. Draco's eyes narrowed.
"Draco?"
Pansy Parkinson came around the corner, and froze when she caught sight of Harry and Hermione. She grabbed her boyfriends arm, and tried to drag him away.
"You know Potter, you've been a real pain in the arse since you started here, and I for one had had just about enough of you thinking that you're better than everyone." Draco snapped. "You think that because you've got Dumbledore in your pocket that you're above the rules. Beyond the law."
"Draco, I really think…" Pansy said, gripping Draco's arm and trying to pull him away.
"I think it's long past time that someone put you in your proper place Potter!" Draco said, wrenching his arm out of Pansy's grip. He stepped closer to Harry who rose to his feet now. Draco took another step so his chest was almost touching Harry's. He was staring hard at Harry now, and Harry recognized the fire in his nemesis's eyes. Harry had to respect Malfoy's gumption, however misguided it was.
"Malfoy, I think you'd better just leave us alone. We weren't doing anything wrong, and you know it."
"Shut your mouth mudblood, no one carURK!"
Draco's threat was cut off when Harry grabbed him by his throat and shoved him hard into the wall. Draco's hand went to Harry's grip and began prying at Harry's fingers to get free but he couldn't get any sort of leverage.
"Apologize." Harry said in a low growl.
"Never!" Draco hissed. He kicked at Harry's groin, but Harry managed to deflect the kick so it hit his thigh instead. It was enough for Draco to wriggle free of Harry's grip and back away spluttering. "How dare you put your filthy hands on me Potter! No one ever puts their hands on me."
"Want to bet?" Harry snapped, lunging at Draco. Hermione threw herself between the boys, holding her hands up to stop Harry.
"It isn't worth it, Harry. Just let it go." She pleaded. Harry looked in her eyes before looking back at Draco, who was fighting off Pansy who was simply trying to see if he was okay."
"You're right." Harry said calming down now. "I've wasted enough energy and time on this worm. I'll make you a deal, Malfoy. You swear to steer clear of Hermione, and my other friends, and I swear I won't end you once and for all."
"As if you could." Malfoy retorted.
"I'm not playing around here Malfoy." Harry said. Hermione grabbed her boyfriend's hand and began to guide him away.
"Just leave it, Harry." She hissed. "He's never going to change, and one day, he'll get what's coming to him."
"This isn't over Potter!" Draco shouted after them. Hermione kept a tight hold on Harry's hand as she led them back to Gryffindor tower. Draco continued to hurl insults after them which echoed throughout the entire castle it seemed. It wasn't until they were safely back in Gryffindor tower that Hermione finally stopped hearing the Slytherin ponce's voice.
"Harry." Hermione said, turning to Harry who looked ready to sprint back down three floors and beat Draco to pulp. "I know that you're angry, but I want you to just ignore Draco from now on ok? I … I don't want you to get expelled for fighting him or arrested or anything like that, ok?"
"You want me to leave him alone?" Harry asked, clearly not happy about this request.
"Yes, I do." Hermione smiled a little, taking his other hand in hers. "You've done enough for me. Most everyone has apologized to me. You've protected me and my honor enough. Let's just forget Malfoy, and focus on us, and what we need to do, ok?"
Harry sighed heavily and squeezed her hands gently. "Dumbledore asked me to stop tormenting him. Maybe it has gone for enough and you're right… we should focus more on your training. Planning and executing pranks on Malfoy and his ilk is really time consuming."
"Great, but I was referring more to things between us." Hermione laughed softly. "I mean, I know I need to train more but I meant we could focus more on things between us, you know?" Hermione asked, with a gentle, suggestive smile.
Harry could only stare back at her, very confused. Hermione shook her head and embraced her boyfriend. Perhaps it would be better if she just showed him what she had meant. Later of course. The common room wasn't really the perfect place to show Harry that she wanted to become a bit more… close, physically speaking.
"I'm going to go to bed. After all, you're going to make me run at the crack of dawn, right?" Hermione asked. Harry gave a stiff nod and kissed her softly. Hermione deepened the kiss, loving the way Harry's lips felt against her, the way he held her waist just above her hips. And the best part, his tongue softly massaging her own. It made her dizzy, euphoric.
"Good night, Harry." Hermione whispered when she broke the kiss. "I lo… um… can't wait to go running in the morning." Hermione's eyes bulged at her near slip. Harry just eyed her suspiciously. Hermione kissed him one last time before dashing up the stairs
"IDIOT!" Hermione cursed herself. "Way too early to even be thinking about that, much less say it. Do you want to freak him out or something?"
"Hey Hermione." Lavender said as Hermione entered the girls dorm. The blonde was sitting on her bed dressed in her favorite blue nightie, painting her toes. Hermione smiled, and headed to her trunk, and then stopped suddenly and turned back to Lavender. She was sitting on her bed, head low, seemingly focused on painting her toe nails, but Hermione swore that she looked wrong somehow.
"Lav… are you alright?"
Lavender looked up and Hermione felt her heart break. Lavender's normally bright smile and impossibly cheery demeanor was gone now. Her eyes were swollen and red, and there were tear tracks down her cheeks.
"Yeah… I'm fine." Lavender said, trying to look as confidant and strong as she normally did, but Hermione could see she was failing. She was trying not to sniffle, and her lip was quivering.
"No you're not." Hermione said going over and climbing up on Lavender's bed to wrap a supportive arm around her friend. "What happened?"
"Ron." Lavender rolled her eyes. "We had yet another fight. He's getting angry that I'm spending so much time with you and Neville and Harry. I told him that there's nothing going on. That we're training, you know. But he's just so… he's unreasonable. He's all bent out of shape because we haven't seriously snogged since before Christmas. He thinks I've got a thing for Neville or something."
Hermione stared at Lavender who turned back to her feet, applying another coat of pink to her toenails. Hermione thought back over the last few weeks and several instances popped into her mind, leaving her to wonder if maybe Ronald Weasley wasn't as dense as he appeared.
"Do you?" Hermione asked. "I mean, I don't mean to pry or anything, but ever since New Year's, you have been talking about him a lot more, and I also noticed you've been eating with us a bit more."
"He's a friend." Lavender said. "That's all. I mean…"
Lavender shook her head and took a deep calming breath. She stared at her toes for a long time before she continued, trying to figure the best way to express herself.
"Neville is my friend. He is trying to work things out with Hannah who is being a bit unreasonable if you ask me, but it's none of my business. They need to figure out what's happening between them and I need to focus on the boy I'm with and that's Ron." Lavender said, not daring to look at Hermione for fear she would call her out.
"But, didn't you once tell me that you didn't think you'd be with Ron forever. I mean, do you love Ron? Do you see yourself making a life with him outside of school? You know I think he's and insensitive jerk bag who deserves to be alone for the rest of his life, but how do you feel about him?" Hermione asked, rubbing circles on Lavender's back.
"I don't know." Lavender shrugged. "I don't know. I like him, sure… but the longer we're together, the more I feel like… I'm so mixed up. I mean… I started this relationship on a lie. I cheated on him. Maybe that's why I've kept him at arm's length. I just… I can't let him close because I feel like a huge slag. I just… I'm just so confused now."
"I wish that I had advice for you." Hermione sad guiltily. I really do. You've become such a good friend to me, and I want to help you just like you've helped me. But honestly, I don't know what you should do."
"I think I should break up with Ron." Lavender said after several minutes of silence. "I think I should break up with him and just get things straight in my head."
"That's not a terrible idea." Hermione agreed.
"There's just one problem." Lavender sighed tearily. "I'm afraid of being alone."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked rather confused.
"Come on Hermione…" Lavender said sourly. "Can you remember anytime where I didn't have a boy? There was always someone I was interested in or who was interested in me. This would be the first time since I started dating that I would be alone, and it's really scary."
Hermione had nothing to say to that. Lavender gave her a watery smile, and Hermione pulled her in for a comforting hug.
"Maybe you should just do what you've been telling me all this time and take the leap and trust that everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to." Hermione offered weakly.
"And here I was thinking you weren't listening to me at all." Lavender laughed.
Hermione laughed as well and hugged her friend tighter.
"Things will be alright, I know they will." Hermione said softly.
"You're living proof of that." Lavender smiled and Hermione couldn't help but believe that.
The very next morning, Hermione, walking hand in hand with Harry, followed by Neville walked into the Great Hall for breakfast. They had had a good run that morning, and Hermione had been very happy with her improvement. She and Lavender had been able to keep up with the boys much longer than normal. Of course that had really been the only noticeable improvement, but Harry kept telling both girls they were getting better. He also said that they were expecting too much of themselves, and likely wouldn't notice how much stronger they were getting right away.
Still, Hermione wasn't going to get dejected. She was keeping pace with Harry better, and when she began to slow down, Lavender was there to keep her company. Also, she wasn't struggling as badly with the rest of her exercises, and she was finding that she was sleeping better somehow. Likely because she was just so exhausted at the end of the day.
"I still can't believe there's going to be so many people joining us tomorrow." Neville said as they sat at their usual spot at the end of Gryffindor table. "How are you going to handle that?"
"Sirius and Moody gave me some pointers." Harry said, reaching for a platter of scrambled eggs.
"When did you talk to them?" Hermione looked puzzled.
"Last night after you went to bed." Harry replied.
"How?" Hermione asked, still confused.
"I have a two way mirror that allows me to talk to them whenever I need to." Harry replied as he began digging into his breakfast. "They suggested I run this ad a boot camp. I've already been doing it with you guys, but they suggested perhaps a firmer hand."
"Firmer?" Neville asked, eyebrows raising in trepidation.
"You'll see." Harry said, then looked at Neville. "They also suggested I get someone to assist me. I think you should do it."
Neville choked on his pumpkin juice and spilled half his goblet. "M-me?" Why me?"
"Because you've been training with me the longest. You know what I expect, and you can encourage others when they feel like they can't do it." Harry explained.
"I actually agree with Harry." Hermione nodded. "It'll help him make sure everyone is doing their best. Plus, like he said, you've been doing it the longest, so you know how it all feels and can help people know that it's going to hurt a lot, but well, in the end you're going to look like… well… you." Hermione motioned to Neville who sat up a bit straighter, recognizing the compliment.
"Of course I'll help you Harry." Neville smiled. "It'll be really…"
Neville stopped when he caught sight of Hannah entering the Great Hall. His smile faded almost at once.
Hermione and Harry turned and saw the Hufflepuff before they turned back to their friend.
"She's still not talking to you?" Hermione asked.
"No." Neville sighed. "I don't get it. I just… I just wish I knew what to do here and…"
"Neville?"
The trio looked up to find an anxious looking Hannah standing there, fidgeting with her hands.
"Could we talk? In private?"
Neville practically leapt of the bench and followed his girlfriend out of the Great Hall, with Harry and Hermione watching them go.
"I feel so bad for them." Hermione sighed, turning back to her porridge.
"Why?" Harry asked, turning to Hermione waiting for her explanation.
"She suffered a serious trauma Harry… That sort of thing is way worse than a near death experience for a girl. It makes us feel extremely weak, and violated. It's humiliating to us, and… it messes with our heads and our emotions."
"Has anything like that happened to you?" Harry asked seriously. Hermione shook her head.
"I won't deny that I've been mentally and verbally abused by a lot of people here… but nothing like that ever, thank god. But my Aunt was… she was raped. My mum told me about it, and it explained a lot about her. She's gone through loads of therapy to try and help her, but my mum says it's a scar that never fades." Hermione's eyes went to Harry's lightning bolt scar, noting how red it appeared.
"You don't think Hannah and Neville will work this out then?" Harry asked. Hermione shrugged and then shook her head, turning back to the Great Hall entrance.
"Neville's a good guy. Really sweet, but Hannah blames him. On some level she knows he had nothing to do with it, but she's always going to see him and be reminded of what happened." Hermione said sadly.
"I can see how that would affect things between them." Harry said, turning back to his breakfast.
"You can?" Hermione asked shocked.
"You explained it quite well." Harry said.
Hermione watched her boyfriend for a moment. She supposed he could understand Hannah's predicament. He was a soldier after all, and soldiers often suffered post traumatic stress disorder.
"Harry, have you ever had something like… have you ever suffered any sort of mental or emotional trauma?" Hermione asked. Harry set his fork down and slid his plate away, even though he wasn't finished eating. He turned to look at Hermione now, and she felt suddenly very anxious, and worried for Harry.
"I did." Harry said without preamble. "Right after my fifteenth birthday. I had to endure something… really, really horrible. I saw things that no one should have to."
"What?" Hermione asked. She had never seen Harry look so vulnerable. She hated it.
"I don't want to say more right now." Harry said, a hint of pleading in his otherwise flat tone. "Suffice to say that for roughly six months I had difficulty in training. In my studies. In everything. I sometimes still have dreams about the things I saw. But I know that I can't be hurt by them. I know that I am stronger now than I was."
"Did your godfa… Did Sirius help you get through it?" Hermione asked. She had found it difficult to refer to Sirius as Harry's godfather since she'd spent time with him at his home back in October. No parent of any kind should do what Sirius did to Harry, and Hermione would never forgive Sirius, no matter what he did to make amends.
"Yes. He, Remus, Moody, and Dumbledore all spent time with me, and helped me to understand and deal with everything. I hardly think about it anymore, which is a good thing. Besides, I've got you occupying my mind more these days, and I think that's a good thing." Harry finished with one of his patent Harry smiles.
"I think that's a good thing too." She smiled back, reaching out to take his hand. She gave it a soft squeeze and began leaning towards him, intent on kissing him softly when something happened to stop her. Someone had shouted for attention. Hermione looked up to the Head table to find out which teacher was about to make an announcement and was shocked to find all the professors looking towards the Slytherin table. Everyone was looking at the Slytherin table.
Hermione and Harry turned and saw none other than Draco Malfoy standing on top of the table staring right at them, looking very determined.
"I am Draco Malfoy, last son of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Malfoy. In response to numerous indignities and slights against my family, I hereby declare a blood feud with House Potter!"
Immediately people began whispering amongst themselves, all curious as to what this declaration might mean. Hermione saw Dumbledore rise from his seat, followed by McGonagall and Snape, who had must have been released from the hospital wing at last. He was limping badly, and still favoring his left arm.
"Mister Malfoy, please get off that table this instant!" Dumbledore shouted, but Malfoy ignored him. Hermione scanned the Slytherin table, noting how most of Draco's fellow snakes were pointedly not looking at him, while his closest "friends" were staring up at him, seemingly in awe.
"I have suffered too many offenses against my person and my name to be ignored." Malfoy continued.
"Mister Malfoy, if you are having trouble with another student, you can come and speak with…" Dumbledore tried, but Malfoy turned on him, pointing an accusatory finger at the headmaster.
"So you can protect Potter? Pretend that he hasn't in fact humiliated not only myself, but several other students from upstanding families?" Malfoy snarled. "No! I believe it's time for justice to be served and served properly."
"Malfoy, get down this instant!" Snape shouted.
"NO!" Malfoy shouted the teachers down. "I'm invoking the old customs."
"Mister Malfoy I implore you to stop this nonsense right now, and think about what you are doing…" Dumbledore tried again.
"Stop acting like a spoiled brat, Draco!" Snape added.
"I demand recompense. I challenge you Harry Potter, to a wizard's duel!"
A hush heavy than any in Hogwarts entire history fell over the Great Hall as everyone turned to Harry awaiting his response. Harry , having little choice rose from his seat, with Hermione clutching his hand, and begging him to sit back down and ignore Draco.
Hermione saw Dumbledore now, looking at Harry with a look similar to Hermione's own. The headmaster wanted Harry to ignore the challenge.
"I forbid this." Dumbledore said, turning back to Malfoy. "This is a school, not a…"
"You cannot stop this Dumbledore, and you know it. The challenge has been made." Draco snapped. "Now it ends only one of two ways, Potter accepts my challenge, and we end fight, or… he backs away with his tail between his legs, showing everyone what a coward he really is. There is also the small detail about the Line of Potter being indebted to the House of Malfoy…"
"Did you think this through, Draco?" Harry said, peering at Draco through narrowed eyes.
"Did you consider all the consequences? Are you ready to give up your life over a few pranks?"
"Did you, Potter?" Draco countered.
Harry stared at Malfoy, feeling very conflicted here. The Slytherin was an irritant at worst. A bully with a massive ego. He was not a cold blooded killer, and didn't deserve death. At least not yet.
Harry sighed. He wasn't a murderer. He was a soldier, and soldiers didn't kill in cold blood, which essentially is what would happen if he accepted…
Except it didn't have to be that way. Harry realized that he could accept the challenge, but he didn't have to actually kill Malfoy. All he had to do was make him yield, something he realized the Slytherin would likely never do. But… if he couldn't fight any longer, he would have to yield, right?
He looked up at Draco, then to Dumbledore, who must have known what Harry was thinking. While the Headmaster looked disappointed, he did give a nod to Harry, who returned the gesture. Harry then looked to Hermione who was still holding onto his hand, looking very frightened. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and then turned back to Draco, who was looking triumphant.
"Name your terms, Draco." Harry said flatly.
Malfoy sneered, and practically leapt off the table and crossed the Great hall, followed closely by Dumbledore, McGonagall and a hobbling Snape. When Draco reached his nemesis, he was smiling as if he'd just been handed the world.
"Tonight, at sunset, we face off on the Quidditch Pitch." Draco sneered.
"Who is your second?" Harry asked. Malfoy gave a soft chuckle. "Nott. Though I know I won't need him to end you. And your second?"
"Longbottom." Harry said. Malfoy threw his head back and laughed.
"The witless wonder? You've got it."
"Malfoy…" Harry said as Draco started to turn away. "Think hard on this… No one will think any less of you …"
"Spare me, Potter!" Draco snapped. "One way or another, this ends tonight."
With that, Draco turned and swept out of the Great Hall. Dumbledore gave Snape a nod, and the Defense teacher chased after his Slytherin.
"A word with you, Harry." Dumbledore said, taking Harry by the arm and leading him away. The Great Hall burst into conversation as the students began discussing the duel and what was going to happen.
"Harry, I can't allow this to happen, I…" Dumbledore began.
"Sir, I promise you I have no intention of killing him." Harry said quickly.
"I know that Harry." Dumbledore replied. "Mister Malfoy is many things, but he is no Death Eater. He is simply trying to reestablish his dominance within the school. He is many things, but he is not a killer, and I do not believe he fully understands what this duel fully entails. I fear that perhaps this could… push him further towards the darkness his father has been molding him for."
"Sir, Malfoy was right when he said this could only end one of two ways. If I chose to decline his challenge, it would only elevate our little rivalry, and it's possible he could hurt someone other than me. I agree with you though, He's no killer. He won't have the chance to strike a killing blow anyway."
Dumbledore considered this and finally gave a nod, relenting the truth in Harry's statement.
"I sometimes forget you are who your are, Harry. Very well... I suppose that the worst that could happen is you both wind up in the hospital wing, as I doubt very much Mister Malfoy would be willing to risk expulsion and prison by using anything too dark."
"Perhaps when it's over, Draco will understand that he needs to change his thinking."
Harry said. Dumbledore gave him a weak smile and nodded. He patted the young man on the shoulder before turning to head to his office.
Harry turned back towards the Great Hall when he Heard Neville call out his name. Harry turned and felt a strange tightness in his stomach. Neville looked like he was struggling to maintain himself.
"You alright?" He asked. Neville shrugged, but he didn't look at Harry.
"I think I've been expecting it, but I just... I really hoped we could figure it out, you know?" Neville said, his voice low. He kept his eyes on the far wall, but Harry could see tears in his friend's eyes.
"Don't bottle it up. Feel whatever it is you're feeling, and let it run its course." Harry said, clapping his friend on the shoulder.
"When did you become the master of feelings?" Neville asked, trying to sound jovial, and failing.
"It's something Sirius always said to me when I got angry or upset that I couldn't work something out. He always said that you need a clear head, and if you try and push what you're feeling down, it can overwhelm you and make you hesitate, doubt, or even lock up. He said that emotions weren't bad, but trying not to feel them was. So... let yourself feel them, and let them run their course. Then you can look at things with a clear head, and learn from the experience."
"As weird as that sounds, it makes a lot of sense." Neville shrugged.
"It does." Harry agreed. "Besides, I need you tonight to be my second."
"Second? What do you mean?" Neville asked, finally looking at Harry.
"I accepted a challenge from Malfoy for a wizard's duel tonight... you're my second."
"Wait... WHAT?"
The anticipation was at an all time high by the time the sun began to set, and almost the entire school was itching to see the Potter versus Malfoy duel. So, it came as a major blow when Dumbledore forbade anyone from going to the Quidditch pitch to watch. Only teachers, and the participants would be allowed.
Hermione begged Harry one last time not to go, and to just let the whole matter drop.
"You've done enough to help me, Harry." She said softly holding his hands tightly just outside of the portrait hole while they waited for Neville.
"This isn't about you this time, Angel." Harry said. Hermione couldn't stop herself from smiling when he called her that name. It never failed to make her feel good. "This is about Malfoy and his misguided sense of honor. I promise that I will be fine, and I promise that Malfoy will be alive when it's over."
"I can't help but worry, Harry. Draco's... he's a conniving worm, but he isn't helpless. I know he plays down his skill with a wand so people will underestimate him. I just don't want you to get hurt because you're overconfident." She said.
"One thing I never do is underestimate an opponent." Harry replied. "Besides... I've got Neville to watch my back."
Hermione gave her boyfriend a wry look, which made Harry give her one of his little smiles. Neville appeared at that moment, and Harry pulled Hermione in for a gentle kiss.
"I will be back soon, and we'll get to work on that essay for Charms, alright?" Harry said, slipping out of Hermione's grasp and, with Neville in tow, headed out to meet Malfoy.
"I don't like this Harry." Neville said as they walked. "I'm not... I'm not a fighter. I can barely do a good stunner. I can't even get a good shield. I'm no good..."
"Neville, You're as good as anyone else in this school. I've seen you perform some really strong magic in class, and I know you can be as good a fighter as me." Harry remarked, cutting off Neville's tirade. "I wouldn't have chosen you if I didn't think you could do it. Besides, you know as well as I do that you're not going to have to touch your wand."
"Right." Neville nodded. "Ok."
They walked on in silence for a bit until they reached the Entrance Hall, and headed outside. It was still quite cold, and there was snow on the ground. Neville turned to Harry as they walked.
"Can you train me?"
"Train you?" Harry asked, a little confused.
"To fight better. Seriously Harry, ever since New Year's I've been so... just miserable. I know it isn't my fault, I do... but I blame myself for what happened to Hannah. I should have defended her, and I didn't. I couldn't. I don't ever want to feel that helpless again."
"Alright." Harry nodded.
"Really?" Neville asked hopefully. Harry nodded again.
"You're already on your way. You've been working out with me for months, and Physically I think you're ready. I was planning on starting the hand to hand stuff this week, especially since we've got the club now. You already know a good bit of magic, so, I'll help you combine it all, and show you some better spells as well. But you have to focus, and work hard. If I think for a second you're not giving me your best..."
"You know I will." Neville promised. Harry clapped him on the shoulder and Neville thanked his friend.
They entered the Quidditch Pitch to find it had been cleared of snow. Dumbledore was there, along with Professors Flitwick, Snape, McGonagall, Vector, Slughorn, and Madam Pomfrey, the last two looked very nervous.
Draco was waiting, a superior smirk on his face, his wand held in his hand. He looked as if he'd put on his best robes for the duel, and his hair looked extra sleek.
Nott was at his side. Theodore was avoiding Harry's gaze. He was toeing at the grass, and looked as if he'd rather be anywhere else.
"I have spoken to Mister Malfoy," Dumbledore said when Harry was close enough to hear him. "And he has agreed that this will not be a duel to the death. Instead, the winner will be declared when one of you is no longer physically able to continue or yields to the other."
"Don't worry Potter." Malfoy sneered. "This won't take long."
"Do not get cocky, Draco." Snape hissed. Harry glanced at the Defense teacher who winced slightly.
Take you places." Dumbledore said.
Harry turned to Neville, and shrugged out of his robes to give himself a bit more freedom. Harry noted Draco watching him curiously. He did a few quick stretches before slipping his wand free of its holster and turning to face Draco. The teachers had spread out and both Neville and Nott had taken up positions next to their heads of house. Almost as one, the teachers erected a protective ward around the duelers.
Harry gave a bow to Draco, who simply inclined his head.
"Arrogant." Harry thought to himself. He took in Draco's stance, and considered the possibilities.
"Right-handed, like me, but leads with his left foot. He wants me to strike first. He wants to draw this out." Harry reasoned. "He wants to see if I take him seriously."
Harry decided to give Draco what he wanted. He would strike first.
Harry flicked his wand twice, and then swept it down to his left. Draco's robes closed up around him and began to seal themselves. Draco was clearly not ready for such a tactic, and fell on his face. However, he managed to slice his robes open and shrugged the shredded remains off. He was now looking quite sour.
The duel got underway then, with Draco sending a flurry of childish spells at Harry.
Tripping jinxes, jelly legs, and a hair growing hex. All things to throw Harry off, or distract him, but nothing that could really hurt him. Harry found it a bit odd, but also realized that Draco was trying to make Harry feel overconfident. It wasn't going to work.
Harry threw a body bind curse at his enemy, who slipped under it, and made Harry smirk with appreciation. Draco wasn't dumb enough to rely only on shield charms, something his father had done. Clearly the son was smarter than the father in this case.
Draco dodged a few more spells from Harry before retaliating. This time, the spells were of a more potential dangerous nature.
Two reductos and a piercing hex all came at Harry who managed to avoid them. Harry couldn't help but admire Draco. Not unlike Professor Snape, he was elevating the duel slowly, testing Harry the whole time.
Still, Harry really wanted this to be over now. Draco's biggest weakness was his own overconfidence. He thought himself superior. As such, he didn't protect himself as well as he should have. All it would take to finish this, was a bit of coaxing. So, Harry began coaxing Draco by sending a flurry of spells at his opponent. Nothing really dangerous. Cutting and piercing hexes mixed with tripping and bludgeoning hexes. Stuff that would hurt, and maybe knock Malfoy off his feet.
Malfoy dodged as much as he could, and conjured a shield when he couldn't. When Harry had him right where he wanted him, he struck hard and fast. First he sent a cutting hex to Draco's left. When Malfoy went to dodge it, Harry blew up the ground to Draco's right, sending Malfoy sailing through the air. Malfoy landed hard on his back, and Harry started to bind him with magical ropes.
That was when Draco had clearly had enough.
"I'm going to bathe in your blood, Potter! AVADA KEDAVRA!" Draco shouted, narrowly missing Harry, who threw himself to the ground to avoid the spell.
"I'm not going to be beaten by filth like you Potter!" Draco said, getting to his feet and conjuring a dozen poisonous serpents.
Harry slashed his wand, burning the snakes to ash instantly. The duel had changed, and Harry's training took over. Draco was no longer a egotistical bully with serious daddy issues.
Everything slowed down as Harry clenched his jaw, gripped his wand. Draco was preparing for yet another strike, but Harry was already moving. He inhaled slowly as he brought his wand up. He was instinctually aware of the protective wards coming down, and the shouts of the teachers for him to back off or stop. He tuned it all out as he brought his wand down twice in a criss cross pattern before stabbing it forward.
He saw his three spells shoot across the pitch at his foe but never saw them connect. A bright lightning blue shield sprang up in front of Draco, absorbing the spells and protecting the little would be murderer. Harry turned to find out who had conjured the shield but was hit with the bright red spell of a stunner.
Everything went black.
Harry awoke in the Hospital wing with Hermione at his side, holding his hand. She smiled in relief when he opened his eyes.
"No, Harry, you need to let Madam Pomfrey…" Hermione said, her smile fading as her boyfriend quickly wrangled him self out of bed.
"Where's Dumbledore?" Harry asked venomously."
"He…he…" Hermione stammered.
"WHERE IS HE?" Harry roared, making Hermione wince and step away from him. "I'm sorry Hermione, but I need to speak to him right now."
"I am here, Harry." The headmaster said as he strode towards the two teens.
"Why did you do it?" Harry snapped, looking murderous. "Why did you protect him?"
"You were about to kill an innocent…" Dumbledore began but Harry cut him off.
"He is no innocent. Not anymore. You saw it. You saw him cast the killing curse!" Harry glowered.
"Draco cast the killing curse?" Hermione asked in a small whisper.
"Harry, you need to calm down." Dumbledore tried, but the boy wasn't listening.
"Calm down? You want me to calm down? You protected a killer, sir. A killer we both know comes from a very dark family. A killer we both know has been allowed to get away with crimes here right under your nose because he couldn't be caught. He was caught red handed today sir, and you protected him, and then you stunned me to save him!" Harry accused.
"I had no choice, Harry. It is my job to protect the students of this school. No matter how potentially dangerous they might be." Dumbledore tried, but Harry didn't want to hear it.
"Where is he now?" Harry demanded.
"The Aurors have taken custody of him, and he is being taken to one of the holding facilities." Dumbledore said. "Harry, I'm sorry, but I did what I did for your protection as much as Mister Malfoy's. If I had allowed the duel to finish, Draco's mother would have gone to the Minister himself to make sure you were imprisoned, or worse. We can't let that to happen."
"Harry?" Hermione asked tentatively. "Harry, maybe Dumbledore's right this time. If you're imprisoned… Well, it would be really bad, wouldn't it? You're needed out here. With us. With me." Hermione tried, but Harry refused to look at her.
"Perhaps you did underestimate your opponent Harry, but you handled yourself more than adequately today. You showed great control and restraint and…"
"Don't you get it?" Harry snapped, glaring at Dumbledore. "This is war, sir. I am a soldier, remember? I'm trained to eliminate any and all threats before… I should have decimated him the moment he… why am I even here?"
Harry was clearly enraged now, and Hermione felt really terrible that she couldn't say anything to calm him down. She was also too terrified to attempt to touch him. She had never seen him like this, and it was really terrifying her.
"I should be out there, ending this gods damned thing and you've got me sitting in classrooms and making… making friends! What is the damned point sir?"
Worse still to Hermione was how pitiful and remorseful the old Headmaster appeared right now. He obviously felt guilty for stunning Harry to protect Hogwarts most reviled student. On top of that, there was the added guilt of making Harry into what he was right now.
"We told you that we made a grave mistake with you Harry. This is it. You are not a soldier. You are a human being, who was meant for great things. We corrupted you. We made you a weapon for us to use like a scalpel. We never bothered to ask what it was you wanted from life, nor did we remember that you were just a boy, who trusted us. And then we saw what our folly had wrought."
Dumbledore looked directly at Harry, staring into the boy's fiery green eyes as he spoke.
"We got exactly what we set out to make. A weapon. You have proven how precise and deadly you can be Harry, and it is truly frightening. And the problem is that it can be turned, and used against us. You have a taste for killing… do not try and deny it Harry. I saw you after the Longbottom party. I saw in your eyes that night. Right now, you fight for the good, but what happens when this war is over? What happens to you? With no one to kill anymore what do you do?"
Dumbledore took a breath, and glanced at Hermione.
"Worse still is the mere idea that anyone with an agenda could find you and enlist you to their cause. All they have to do is make you believe they are the good guys."
"Are you saying I'm gullible, sir?" Harry asked irately.
"I'm saying that I am afraid of you, Harry Potter. Afraid of who you could one day become, thanks to our interference. Today you stand against the Dark Lord… tomorrow, you could be the Dark Lord."
"That will never happen!" Harry snapped angrily.
"And that is precisely why you are here, Harry. " Dumbledore said, rising to his feet. "This war is nearly at its end, though Voldemort does not yet suspect it. You will be essential in the final battle, of that I have little doubt, and there will be only two possible outcomes. I personally am banking on you defeating the Dark Lord and living to lead a long and fulfilling life. That is why we brought you to Hogwarts. When it is all over, you will have to decide what kind of life you want, and with whom to share it. We brought you here to put the humanity back into you, Harry.
Harry could only stare at the man in shock and bewilderment. He tried a couple of times to speak, but no sound came out. After a few moments he balled his fists and pounded them on Dumbledore's desk.
"This is all so damned confusing." Harry snarled. "Why not just make me come to school after I've done what it is you trained me for? Are you trying to make soft? Are you trying to make me not kill Voldemort? Do you believe that he will show remorse and change or something?"
"No." Dumbledore said simply. "He is too far gone for that, I am certain."
"Then where is the line, sir? I know that you always look for the best in people, and I can appreciate that, but I've also seen how truly horrible people can be. You, and Sirius and Remus all made sure that I knew what it meant if I allowed even one evil person go. Draco Malfoy is evil. He proved that to all of us today. He knew you wouldn't let me kill him. He knew you'd restrain me, and worst of all… he knew me well enough to know that I didn't consider him a real threat. He won before we even stepped on that field today. His father will come for him, and when he gets out… Every single person he hurts from now until I find him is on our hands, Professor, and I can't stomach that."
Harry turned and marched out the door, leaving a very tired, and sullen headmaster in his wake, Hermione rushing after her boyfriend, looking upset at all she had heard. Dumbledore hoped he hadn't inadvertently ruined things between the two teens. Harry needed that girl, just as she needed him. Dumbledore could only stand there with Harry's words ringing in his head. He truly hated to admit it, but the by was right. This was a war, and horrible things happen in a war.
It was then that Dumbledore began to truly realize the vastness of his foolishness. He'd been told by so many people and yet he refused to believe it. Sometimes, there is no goodness in people. Some people needed to be ended.
Still he just could not let go of his faith in humanity. It was his greatest flaw, especially as a general in a war against true darkness. But who else was there to lead? Who else could make the hard choices? Who else would remind everyone that they were fighting humans beings with families and hopes and dreams…
When did he forget that those people he was trying to protect were the same people murdering, raping and god knew what other atrocities?
"Perhaps I have lost sight of everything." Dumbledore groaned pitifully.
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