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4.57% My Neighbor Calls Me Daddy / Chapter 19: Omake

Chapter 19: Omake

Leo: To our fellow readers, thank you for reading the novel on me and Hunter's lives. *bow*

Hunter: *bow*

Leo: It's been 2 weeks in our fictional world, so the author decided to do this stupid thing.

Hunter: Don't call it stupid!

Leo: Hunter, what is an omake?

Hunter: To put it simply, it's an extra that is usually put at the end of an anime episode or manga volume.

Leo: Oh! Hunter you are so smart! *tries to kiss him but failed*

Hunter: Stop sticking so close to me.

Leo: How cruel! How can you do this to your wife!

Hunter: You're not my wife!

Leo: No I'm not a female. I'm your partner!

Hunter: *facepalm* Anyways, in an omake, we usually include some useful information about our world.

Leo: Like the sizes of our d*ck?

Hunter: No-

Leo: Mine is 7 inches while Hunter's is 11 inches!

Hunter: How do you even know-

Leo: I checked. *smirks*

Hunter: Anyways, to get back on track, we should introduce our school to the readers.

Leo: Boring.

Huter: *rolls eyes* Our school is called XX Private Academy, it's a private school located in a rather wealthy area. It consists of one massive school building, an indoor basketball court, a football field and a swimming pool.

Leo: Speaking of swimming pools, Hunter, why do you like wearing Speedos so much?

Hunter: What's wrong with them?

Leo: They're soooo erotic *nosebleed*

Hunter: They're more convenient than pants.

Leo: Sure. *smirks*

Hunter: Stop.

Leo: Stop what?

Hunter: Stop with the *smirk*

Leo: *ahegao*

Hunter: How are you even doing th-

Leo: Here's an interesting fact: Did you guys know that Hunter has been voted hottest male in high school for two consecutive years?

Hunter: Where did you get that info?

Leo: From the online school forum.

Hunter: Can we please get back on track?

Leo: Fine.

Hunter: The next thing a reader might be curious about is Ares International. Ares is a multinational private military company that also provide security and counter-intelligence services. Think of Ares as a combination of B*ackwater and P*nkerton.

Leo: Hmmm.... Okay, who cares about that. I wanna know the first name of your dad, Hunter!

Hunter: That will be revealed in time...

Leo: Just like our s*x scene?

Hunter: Didn't we already have a few s*x scenes?

Leo: Those doesn't even count! I want you to pound me hard! Make me scream daddy! Make my waist so sore that I can't even get up the next morning!

Hunter: Keep your fantasies in your dreams, Leo.

Leo: But everyone wants to see it! Even the author wants to see-

Hunter: Anyways, unlike this s*x-craved freakshow, I have a sense of propriety so-

Leo: Hey.

Hunter: What is it Leo?

Leo: Don't you think it's better if we gradually introduce the world to the audience instead of engaging in this stupid info dump?

Hunter: Wow, Leo, I did not think you could make such an intelligent analysis.

Leo: What did you say? *fuming*

Hunter: Well it's simple. You have read other web novels right?

Leo: Yeah, so?

Hunter: Don't you think it's annoying how they repeat the same things over and over again each chapter just to satisfy the word count?

Leo: Yeah! It's so annoying right?

Hunter: You see, unlike traditional novels, which allows authors to write the beginning and the end before publishing, web novels are a continuous publication, so authors would usually run out of ideas for the next arc after several hundred chapters so they drag the story along as long as they could so they could think of new plotlines before continuing on with the plot.

Leo: Kind of like when an anime caught up with the manga.

Hunter: That's right. But unlike D*agon B*ll Z or N**uto, web novelists are paid by the chapter, so they are forced to write a certain amount of words per day.

Leo: But our author didn't even sign a contract yet!

Hunter: I know, but you see....

Leo: What?

Hunter: We've just wasted almost 700 words babbling against each other.

Leo: You're just ripping off G*ntama!

Hunter: Yep.

Leo: You cheater! At least give the readers a s*x scene to satisfy their desires.

Hunter: *walks towards Leo* Oh, you want a s*x scene, do you?

Leo: Yes, daddy!

Hunter: Here, stuff it up your a*sh*le. *throws eggplant at Leo*

Leo: This is the eggplant from the first chapter!

Hunter: Mmhmm

Leo: It's been 2 weeks now, how have this eggplant not gone bad yet?!

Hunter: deus ex machina

Leo: ?

Hunter: The eggplant accidentally fell into a wormhole and travelled through time.

Leo: I thought this was a BL school romcom?! When did it turn sci-fi?

Hunter: plot device.

Leo: ...

Hunter: Besides, how is this a comedy? I don't find you funny at all.

Leo: That's so mean! *cries in corner*

Hunter: Don't worry, the eggplant could make you feel better.

Leo: I'm instantly over it.

Hunter: *rolls his eyes*

Leo: Wait.

Hunter: What.

Leo: If the eggplant can travel trough time, does that mean I could go back in time and drag an 8-year-old you here?

Hunter: No don't-

8-year-old Hunter: Where am I?

Leo: OMG So cute!!!! <3 <3

Hunter: *facepalm*

8-year-old Hunter: Leo? You got bigger.

Hunter: Don't encourage him.

Leo: Yeah, I got bigger. *smirks*

8-year-old: And I got old *stares at Hunter*

Hunter: *stares back*

Leo: Kyaah! I'm dying! I can't!

Hunter: Leo brought you here, so if you wanna go back, beat him up.

Leo: Wait, Hunter, I can explain. No! Ah! Stop! Yamete~~

8-year-old Hunter: *proceeds to beat Leo up*

Hunter: Leo, you can't even fight against an 8-year-old? *smirks*

Leo: That doesn't count, he might be an 8-year-old, but his martial prowess is the same as that of an adult! AH! *beaten to a pulp*

Hunter: Send him back if you don't wanna die.

Leo: Fine. *reluctantly sent 8-year-old Hunter back*

Hunter: Well... let's continue. Let's talk about my house.

Leo: Tell me where you hide your p*rn stash!

Hunter: You're still thinking about that?

Leo: I couldn't find it in your room!

Hunter: For the 1000th time Leo, I DON'T HAVE A P*RN STASH.

Leo: Does your dad have one?

Hunter: *glares*

Leo: Ok, nevermind.

Hunter: My house consists of 2 floors and a garage.

Leo: You don't have a basement?

Hunter: *shook his head*

Leo: Where do you put all the useless stuff then.

Hunter: We throw them out.

Leo: *horrified*

Hunter: The ground floor consists of the living room, the dining room and the kitchen. The living room has the staircase that goes up to the second floor. The second floor consists of my room, a bathroom, and a master bedroom with another bathroom inside.

Leo: Your house seems quite small.

Hunter: Yeah. Only my father and I live in it, so we don't need such a large house.

Leo: Ok, you can just have my house when we're married.

Hunter: Why don't you focus on trying to get me on a date first.

Leo: What do you mean?

Hunter: We haven't even have our first date yet.

Leo: *thinking**horrified* You're right! We haven't even gone on a date yet!

Hunter: How did that even gloss over your mind.

Leo: That's because we already reached second base in the 2nd chapter and third base on the 5th chapter, we didn't even have time to develop our relationship yet!

Hunter: And whose fault do you think that is?!

Leo: ...

Hunter: If you weren't so thirsty all the time, we might have already gone on a few dates and become lovey dovey by now.

Leo: Does that mean if we go on dates now, you'll be lovey dovey with me?

Hunter: No. That was just a hypothetical situation.

Leo: Tch! Stop lying to yourself. You're totally into me.

Hunter: Am not.

Leo: Are too.

Hunter: Am not.

Leo: *immediately strips*

Hunter: What are you doing?!

Leo: See, you got hard.

Hunter: ...

Leo: It seems your mouth might not be honest, but your body is.

Hunter: That was just a normal physiological reaction. I'm a teenager after all.

Leo: Does that mean you'll get hard to anyone?

Hunter: ... No.

Leo: I didn't see you get hard to James.

Hunter: Eww, no!

Leo: If James heard this he would be super depressed.

Hunter: Then don't mention it to him.

Leo: *smirks*

Hunter: *facepalm* Well ladies and gentlemen, it seems that this omake is coming to a close soon.

Leo: Why? I want to spend more time with you! *crying crocodile tears*

Hunter: It's because we have almost reached 1,500 words.

Leo: Did we just waste a whole chapter bantering to each other.

Hunter: Yes we did.

Leo: What about the plot?! How do you expect people with limited attention span to remember what is going on?!

Hunter: Ok fine. Here's a synopsis of the previous chapters: Leo tried to have s*x with me. He epic failed.

Leo: *crying* Readers, I'll try harder in the future, so please cheer me on!

Hunter: Thank you, and goodbye. *bows*

Leo: sayonara. *bows*


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