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1.43% My Girlfriend is an S-Class Adventurer / Chapter 1: Where All the Misery Began

Chapter 1: Where All the Misery Began

— Oukiwa, Empire of Broteforge, Year 512. —

"The sun asked the moon to marry him. And the moon said: I don't know, I don't know. Give me a break. ♫"

A lousy band was playing frantically in an even worse tavern. Deep in the tavern, a quartet of guys is gathered because they had another successful day.

"Aaahh! We should go get someone to fuck."

"We? You say that like you want to have group sex." replied a short boy whose glasses were already old and worn out.

"Why not?" continued Zack: "We're brothers, so it's okay!"

"Luke, Zack is acting weird." The boy warned Luke as he crawled away from the big guy. "Why do you have to drink so much? Ergh!"

Bam! Zack hit his head on the table as he fell asleep. Luke mentally thanked himself for not having to interfere. He was already trying hard enough to keep going in such a stinky place.

"Hey, John! Have you ever thought about becoming an adventurer?" Ynosuke, who had a harlot on each arm, exclaimed to the bespectacled boy. "You have a very innocent look for your profession."

"Naah! The robberies in Oukiwa are worth much more. The guild here has too many strong adventurers for people like us to try to compete with, and the Dungeons… in the end, we will close the day full of injuries and without a penny in our pockets."

"Hahaha! What about you, Luke? Have you ever thought about becoming an adventurer?"

"Yeah, I've never seen you in trouble. You must be as strong as a Class-B."

Luke knew that adventurers swam in money. From the moment you get a Class-A certification, you won't have to enter a Dungeon ever again, if you don't want to, because you could make fortunes just protecting noble families.

However, the main advice Luke heard from more experienced thieves as a child was:

"Never steal from an adventurer."

"Don't ever get near an armored dude's bag of coins."

"If the person has a knife, know that they are ready to kill you if you try to steal it. So don't even think about stealing it."

He had already set aside two of those three pieces of advice, but there was still one that he wouldn't even think of crossing off that list.

"No." Luke replied to his friends.

When he smelled with his sense of smell something so rotten that he had to cover his nostrils. His ears picked up three loud footsteps about to enter the tavern, Luke knew something was about to happen.

The tavern door creaked as it opened slowly. Nheeeec! The bard's band stopped playing. Accompanying a fat man; two huge men had to stoop to enter the establishment. Both were wearing all-black armor with sharp details and carried claymores on their backs.

"We are looking for someone capable and everyone here, minus possible thieves and the mediocre bards, is invited to take the test to become bodyguards for the Strogueher family. Those who are interested should appear tomorrow at 1 pm at the main gate of the Strogueher family's second mansion."

Everyone was surprised by the announcement, after all, a bodyguard earned hundreds of coins a year and all he had to do was to accompany someone during some trips and special occasions. It was the perfect job for someone who wanted to get rich.

However, the person would have to deal with thieves, kidnappers, maniacs, and many other types of people from the fringes of society.

Luke and his friends went out the back door before the man entered, but they could hear the call perfectly.

"Let's go home." Ynosuke said to Luke, who nodded in agreement.

Ynosuke was not as strong as Luke, so when he got the warning signal, he grabbed John and left Zack to be carried by Luke.

This one went much closer than the quartet would have liked. They didn't like to be in places where there might be a mess, and the three strong steps were a signal enough to leave. If not for the rain, Luke might have sniffed out the man's unpleasant smell a little earlier.

The robber duo ran for a few blocks, carrying their friends. John insisted that he could run alone, however, his only good skill was opening locks that no one else could, otherwise, he was about as useful as a child.

When Zack finally woke up from the turbulence, they were able to walk to the main street like normal people. It was much emptier than usual, because of the torrential rain.

The winding alleys of Oukiwa had already turned into real traps because of the mud puddles. If they had not stolen a wagon during the afternoon, the quartet would take advantage of all this temporal chaos to commit petty thefts.

John, while drying the lenses of his glasses, asked the other three: "What do you think? Couldn't this be the big opportunity we've been looking for? The Strogueher's must have a safe with lots of gold coins."

"What happened?" Zack asked confused. He was already fully sober after the little nap and just as predicted, he had a huge bruise under his eye.

"A messenger from the Strogueher Family announced to everyone in the tavern, that they are looking for a bodyguard..." Ynosuke explained.

"The Strogueher Family?" The big red-headed man inquired, impressed. "They are really rich."

"Yes, yes! They are the official spokesmen for the Guild here in Oukiwa."

"I agree that we should take this opportunity to infiltrate there, but Meredith is too pessimistic to allow that."

"That's four against one! And if we include Matthew in that, it's five to one! She won't be able to not take it."

"It will be four against two. I don't support that." Luke said as he took off his hoodie.

"Luke, we will soon run out of work in this town. It seems like every week they discover another mining Dungeon here and there are more and more adventurers waiting for Tower-type Dungeons. Soon there won't be any space for thieves."

"Ynosuke, the fact that there are more and more Dungeon is great for us, because there will be more and more weapons and stone merchants, and maybe if Oukiwa grows to the point of becoming an Industrial City, there will be a chance for us to rob some Gene Store one day."

The group continued discussing the possibilities until they reached the harbor area. Huge ships docked there, so there was a great amount of movement of people day and night. It was the perfect place for thieves to hide. 

Meredith had lived for a long time hiding in dark alleys, so she believed that this was the perfect place for experienced thieves to hide. She had also grown tired of the misty forests. This was also why she now only orchestrated the robberies and took care of the gang's finances.

The shed where they lived could not be called 'home sweet home', however, it was a warm place where they could eat and rest. The aroma of the meat and vegetable stew, that they were already accustomed to, aroused the appetite of the four as they entered the warm warehouse.

"Have you finally arrived, you sons of bitches?!" Meredith shouted angrily.


CREATORS' THOUGHTS
NandoFalske NandoFalske

All relevant characters have artwork available at discord. Curious? Don't be! Join our own discord server: https://discord.gg/twnWv8Maau

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