Chapter 5: Pang.
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Stepping inside the portal, Richard saw many different worlds drawing closer and closer. But before he could register any of this, he was assaulted by a splitting headache unlike anything he'd ever experienced. His vision spun uncontrollably, making him dizzy and nauseous. A torrent of information overwhelmed his brain, making him feel like his head was about to explode.
Numerous kinds of atomic particles, subatomic particles, quantum mechanics, and more flooded his mind, one after another. Just before his head literally exploded from the sheer volume of information, Richard was finally thrown out of the portal wormhole.
Swaying from side to side, he clutched his throbbing temples. The pain and dizziness were still unbearable. Inhaling and exhaling deeply to adjust his breathing pattern, he rejuvenated his body. Every muscle, organ, bone, and cell began to brim with vitality, slowly transforming his average physique into that of an athlete.
Falling to the ground after creating a new fourth form of his breathing pattern, he lay there trying to get his bearings. Massaging his temples to alleviate the headache, he unknowingly overheard a loud conflict near the caravan.
"I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry. I don't want to be a criminal. I want to go back and beg for forgiveness from the king."
"Y-yeah. M-maybe Radovid will understand if we bring one of us who hasn't matured. S-surely they need mages in their ranks."
"Arch-mistress, please. I don't want to be hunted again. Aretuza has already fallen to Radovid's blades. We have nowhere to go. Even Novigrad will sooner or later be under Redenian rule."
"Even though papa always hits me when I do something bad, I know papa loved me. Papa said King Radovid was doing this for the good of the citizens. I want to help them, Arch-mistress. A-and my papa was killed by that Witcher. I-I don't want to sit near him, Arch-mistress. I want to go back."
Hearing the first girl he saved say these things, Richard felt a pang in his heart. She, who had strong willpower and had already considered death but stubbornly stayed alive, was now falling into the twisted ideology of this world.
He questioned his decision at that time repeatedly. Maybe he wasn't suited for this task of saving the world. There was nothing special about him. He was just a normal guy with a little bit of power who enjoyed playing computer games and reading manga. That was it. He didn't have the drive to protect those who weren't his people. He didn't have the conviction to stand firm amidst the scrutiny thrown at him and everyone around him. He didn't have the will to—
Slap!
"Arch-mistress. Nemsy is sorry. Nemsy is sorry. Please. Nemsy butt hurts."
Slap!
"Is your brain so rotten that you forget what they did to you before you became a student?"
Slap!
"Did you forget what a proper sorceress should have thought and reasoned?"
Slap!
"Hick. With logic and wisdom. Hick. Manipulate them to our advantage. Hick. Never give in even when there is a sliver of chance."
"Now would you look at that. Our little Nemsy still has some of her brain. Go now. Mistress want to deal with the other of your rebellious sisters."
—
After ten minutes of clutching his temple and enduring the torrent of information about the materials that make up dimensions, Richard finally got his bearings. Inhaling and exhaling, every part of his muscles rejuvenated and slowly became refined, along with the muscles in his brain, allowing him to more easily process this massive influx of data.
Sadly, the breathing pattern did nothing to heal the pang in his heart that he was feeling. Shaking his head, acknowledging that he was too inexperienced for this kind of thing which affected him on a deeper emotional level, he heard footsteps followed by a concerned question.
"Are you okay?"
Looking up to see Margarita, he just nodded. "Yes. The pain has already subsided. I never thought walking into a portal would make my head hurt."
"No, that's not what I meant."
Turning his head, he saw Nemsy in the distance crying in the caravan and then every single girl that he had personally saved. He replied.
"I don't know. I've never done this kind of thing before."
Sitting beside Richard, Margarita reasoned, "Hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated. Humans on the Continent always fear the alien and the odd, especially those of us who wield unimaginable power. Thus, they create fantasies. Fantasies where they are truly safe. For that reason, they start seeing everyone except themselves as foes. From generation to generation, this belief continues to curse them."
Turning her head and seeing Nemsy, who was already back to laughing and playing with the other kids, Margarita finally continued, "Nemsy is just one among many."
Gazing at Nemsy, Richard chuckled self-deprecatingly, realizing how much a child's words had affected him. He understood that their desire to return was probably due to Stockholm Syndrome. "You're right."
Looking at her hand, particularly the finger where the ring with the symbol of Aretuza rests, Margarita shared her dream with Richard, "For this reason, this world needs a guide. A guide so bright that it's like the Sun itself, bringing life to the dark earth below and rejuvenating it until it stands tall like a tree that bears fruit for the land beneath it."
Raising his eyebrows, Richard asked, "Is that why you love your students so much?"
Nodding her head, Margarita replied, "Yes. Through them, or more fittingly through the education they will impart if they ever become advisors to the king, this world might head in the right direction."
Looking at the Aretuza symbol, now just an empty emblem, Margarita continued with a heavy heart, "Unfortunately, it is too late for that now. The hatred runs too deep, and we are partly responsible for it. The only remaining path is to build a kingdom made up entirely of mages."
Nodding his head, he sent his best wishes concerning her dream, knowing he was not part of this world. "I hope you succeed. In Kovir, is it?"
"Yes. Triss has already prepared passage to sail to Kovir from Novigrad. Consequently, Triss is also the only one who might know the whereabouts of Ciri. I just don't know if she will still be there or not, since it has been a week since I contacted her. Pity that my Megascope is destroyed."
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