Chapter 319: The weight of mercy.
"You... Someone like you's actually got a congregation?"
Shen Fei couldn't help but be slightly taken aback when he saw the multitude of people that suddenly appeared around Liang Chen. Even the strongest among this group was pitifully weak, compared to them at least, so he simply couldn't see them being his allies or comrades, they couldn't provide a single bit of aid in battle after all.
There was also the matter of Liang Chen's personality, he hadn't exactly portrayed himself as the type of person that surrounded himself with others, whether it be followers or friends. He moved as he wished, fought as he wished, killed as he wished, uncaring about the image it gave the world. It was far easier for people like that to be reviled, others simply couldn't understand their actions or motives so they unconsciously distanced themselves. It would generally take a rare mad man to willingly tag along with such a man, as was the case with Shen Fei.
"Greetings, Storm Lord."
"Disciple greets you, Storm Lord."
"What mission do you have for us, Storm Sovereign?"
But even if Shen Fei thought like that, the undeniable truth was that he could see admiration and devotion in the eyes of the bowing people so they were clearly following him out of admiration rather than madness. Then again, perhaps that admiration alone was a sign of madness, the man they had chosen to follow was someone like Liang Chen after all.
"I wouldn't go as far as to call it a mission. We're about to enter a place known as the Wrath of Man sect, once inside I want the lot of you to decide who dies."
Liang Chen didn't even bother answering Shen Fei's question, it wasn't like these people were his congregation, they were just a ragtag group of people who decided that they wanted to learn from him, people that wanted to live. As for what he wanted them to do, or rather, what he wanted them to learn, it truly was simple, so cruelly simple that it could break them.
"Who...dies? Forgive me, Storm Sovereign, but could you give us more details?"
Jiao Hui Xin's expression twisted somewhat quizzically before she bowed her head, speaking for the rest of the disciples. Shen Fei didn't know the story of these people, but he only had to look at her ruined eyes and the grim scars on her arms and legs to know what sort of tortures she had suffered.
"There really aren't many more details to give. Once we enter, investigate, observe, and then make the choice."
There really wasn't a lot to it, all they had to do was go in and figure out who had to die, whose blood would stain their hands. Most of the disciples took in the words with a somewhat pondering expression, but Hui Xin seemed to have caught onto something in the task, a slight heaviness covering her expression.
"Does that mean we are also free to do as you did for us and show mercy to those we feel deserve it?"
He said that they had to choose who died, which theoretically also meant that they would decide who got to live. But Hui Xin wanted to be sure so she asked for confirmation, receiving a shake of the head as an answer.
"What I showed you guys was, by definition, not mercy. You had done nothing wrong so sparing you wasn't mercy, I simply gave those who wanted it a chance to keep living."
Mercy was not something Liang Chen was good at, the cost of it was something he didn't think he was strong enough to bear. Then again, just by taking in Hui Xin and the other disciples he had accepted so far he had basically taken that burden onto his shoulders already so perhaps he wasn't as weak as he thought himself to be.
"With that said, let's go. Death awaits you."
Liang Chen didn't give Hui Xin the chance to ask more questions, some things were simply best learned by experiencing them. He guided them towards the entrance of the sect, the gleaming green door leading into the star-shaped building.
--
What greeted them after they pushed open the door was a gloomy atmosphere suffused with low murmurs and subdued moans. Pain, there was no other way to describe it, this was a building filled with nothing but pain at the moment. Broken bones and agony, crushed spirits and shattered bodies, it was a far cry different from the almost eerie silence that Liang Chen left behind, at least that was what Hui Xin thought.
The environment itself seemed warm and relaxing, the entire inside of the building had been hollowed out to accommodate a fresh plain dotted with various groves. There was even a handful of rivers running about in a crisscrossing manner, wooden huts scattered about everywhere for those that wanted some privacy. It was warm and welcoming, like a respite for those with wounded hearts.
But all that warmth was drowned out by the pain that hung in the air, it was the taste of sadness, lingering on her tongue with every breath. This was a broken place, both in spirit and in body. Perhaps that was why Liang Chen had brought them out here, because even she could tell that this place was one where they could move about somewhat safely.
"62 892 disciples, that's the number of people scattered about here. Take your time, think clearly and deeply, then make your choice."
The voice of Liang Chen reached her as she gawked at the surroundings, as calm, perhaps cold, as always. Nearly 63 thousand, it was a number so great that she wasn't even sure how to wrap her head around it, but he spoke it so easily, so casually. How many of them would die? How many droves of people like this had he killed in the past to speak of them like this? She didn't know, perhaps he himself didn't know, perhaps they all just blended together after a while.
He was a strange man. He spoke so easily of death, a wave of his hand reduced generations to dust on the wind. But he never batted an eye, at best he looked a bit weary, or even icy cold in some instances. And yet, he was able to speak so warmly at times, able to weep tearlessly for the lone soul that died in agony and injustice. He took in that one scream and held it close and dear, turning it into a flame that burned hundreds of other souls. One lone soul that brought about the end of hundreds of others, just how did he weigh life for that equation to come up positive?
But even if she thought that, even if she questioned that, she didn't doubt him. After all, wasn't she one of those lone souls? Wasn't her scream one of the ones he had held close? He cradled her screaming soul, her burning agony, and he used it to fuel a fire that burned hundreds, if not more. And then he gave life to that lone soul, he gave it a vessel that could contain its own scream.
That was what Jiao Hui Xin was, a weeping soul given form, a screaming soul saved from the abyss. As long as that was what she was, she could not do anything but follow Liang Chen. One day she hoped to move a step further, to become a vessel like Liang Chen, one that could take in the screams of others while also bearing its own. But that future was still distant, today it was hard just bearing her own weeping, her own howls.
"Go, you'll never get anywhere if you remain stuck on the first step."
The voice of Liang Chen reached her once more, quietly and somewhat gently urging her on to take the first step. Her eyes were ruined, but Liang Chen had taught her how to use the wind to understand her surroundings so she could actually 'see' things far better than before. As such, she could tell that the other disciples were also casting small glances at her.
They were waiting, wondering. She had somehow ended up as their leader, probably since she was the one who had the easiest time talking to Liang Chen. But that was only to be expected, she had already lived through hell, what worse could others possibly do to her even if she annoyed them by speaking?
"Understood. Then, that house over there please, Storm Lord."
Storm Lord, Storm Sovereign, some even quietly used Storm's Wrath. All the titles they used for him centred around that one word, Storm, partly due to the sect name and partly due to the words of his daughter. But honestly, Hui Xin didn't think the title suited him very well. He was too calm to be the storm, too quiet. He brought the storm, but he wasn't the storm. No, he was the silence that remained when the storm passed, the fresh air that grazed the land as well as the ruined land that held no life.
As she asked, he guided them over to the house. His steps were clearly slower than normal, a deliberate change of pace for them no doubt. The new woman at his side was moving her head about somewhat curiously, but she stuck close to his side in a vigilant manner, like a venus fly trap poised to catch its prey. As for his closest companion, Liang Yumao as he called himself, he rested leisurely on Liang Chen's head, a stark contrast to the fearsomeness he had shown them several times in the past.
What a strange gathering, so deeply entrenched in the darkness yet so wholly removed from it. Be it their own home or the midst of enemy forces, they always seemed to maintain the same expression and demeanour, at least Liang Chen and Liang Yumao. Was it confidence or a strange type of madness, the insanity needed to live life the way they did?
Her thoughts were cut off before they could go any further, they had reached the wooden hut she had pointed out. It was the one closest to the entrance, an almost pitifully small one that seemed like it could only contain a single room. A pitifully small house that radiated a pitiful aura of pain, depression and self-loathing dancing freely about, as if the pain was singing to them.
The door was pushed open, and sure enough, only a single room greeted them. What seemed like it was the kitchen merged with the living room, a bed tucked away into the corner as if to hide it from the door. And lying on the bed were two people, they seemed to be somewhat older judging by the wrinkles on their faces, a man and a woman whose colours Hui Xin was unable to see.
Thick layers of cloth covered certain parts of their bodies, so thick that Hui Xin's wind was unable to reach their skin. She didn't need to see to be able to tell that they were bandages, horrible wounds were probably hidden beneath the cloth, wounds much like her own.
"You...Are you the scourge that hit the Wyvern?!"
The man hurriedly rose from his lying position, his slightly pained moans drowned out by the strong font he tried to put on. But his voice quivered, the hands that supported him shivered. He was afraid. He was clearly wounded and weakened, yet a scourge had appeared at his doorstep, a calamity had descended on his house.
"Go. Now it is your time to make the choice."
Hui Xin felt Liang Chen's hand land on her shoulder, a gentle way to compensate for her lacking vision. He urged her on, but Hui Xin remained standing, her head not actually turned towards the two people on the bed.
Two people, a man and a woman. They were clearly a couple, sharing this small house. She could see small decorations that seemed to be handmade, carved from wood if she wasn't wrong. A tree, a man, a child, a beast, what looked like a sun. Were they memories or just decorations? She couldn't tell, she didn't know these people. But there was love placed into the decorations, a gentle care to keep them whole and neat so it was clearly something they treasured.
The man had positioned himself in front of the woman as he sat up, using his subtly trembling torso to shield her from the devil that had descended. Could he protect her? Would he alone, wounded and weakened, be able to protect her from the scourge that ruined the Wyvern? He probably didn't think so, but he still had to try, there was someone behind him he had to protect after all.
She couldn't see his eyes properly, the light within them. But his expression, aged as it may be, was hardened into a gaunt visage of resolution. Despair and hope both rolled into one in a bleak expression, a pitiful one that wouldn't help in the slightest in front of the being they were faced with.
Hui Xin studied that expression, those weak flickers of despair and hope that struggled for supremacy. In them, she saw herself, past and present. The despair of the cold cell, the broken limbs that shackled her to her bed. The hope for the future, the vessel of the screaming soul that sought to grow enough to accept others.
Liang Chen had told them that this was a depraved land, a land of ruin where only death held value. But even in a place as bleak as this, people still lived. They fought and loved, they tried to protect that which they held dear, even in the face of crushing odds. They were stronger than her, she could easily tell that, she could sense the energy hidden deep within them. But even so, she felt that they were the same. Despair and hope existing as one, a bleak existence that held hope for the future.
"Storm Lord, I believe that these people do not need to die. I believe that they deserve the same mercy that we received."
She spoke the words with a measure of confidence. She wasn't Liang Chen, she couldn't judge people as he did. For that matter, she had no idea how he judged people, how he saw their sins. As such, the only thing she could do was use her own judgment, make her own choice, just as he asked her.
She wasn't sure what sort of answer she could expect from Liang Chen, but his expression changed a little after she gave her response. Did it grow softer, a touch gentler? Or was it disappointment, a parent seeing their kids making a hasty choice? She couldn't tell, she couldn't see his eyes properly so perhaps she would never know. How was he looking at her, what expression did he make as he took in her judgment? She couldn't tell, and for the first time, she cursed her ruined eyes.
"I see. It might be a bit hard, but please brace yourself and bear with it."
She didn't know what he meant, but she could feel him lift his arm slightly, a surge of energy that left her soul feeling chilly creeping out from his arm. The two people on the bed stiffened somewhat, twitching for a bit as a clump of energy entered their bodies and then left them. The energy meandered over to Liang Chen, resting above his palm, only a few centimetres away from Hui Xin.
"Anger is poison to the soul, it infests and rots it from within. The same goes for sorrow, despair, hopelessness, all those bleak emotions are nothing but poison, your soul will be ruined before you know it. Here, see for yourself."
The voice of Liang Chen was somewhat low, a weary heaviness marring each word. She couldn't help but wonder, was he also talking about himself as he said so? How long had he been doing what he did, how deep had he allowed himself to sink into the darkness, the wrath? And what had he found as he did so?
There was no answer to her unspoken questions, her attention was fully swallowed by that lump of energy he had pushed towards her. The energy sank into her body without resistance, it wasn't like she could ever hope to resist Liang Chen anyway. But the energy didn't harm her as it moved through her body, eventually finding her soul and burrowing into it. And then, then the anger, the gleeful madness surfaced.
She saw death, depravity. Truly saw it, as if her eyes had been restored to normal. But what she saw didn't come from her eyes, it came from the eyes of the two people in front of them. A pair of travellers caught in their ambush, their legs taken off by the trap they had hidden underneath the road.
"Nothing personal, you just picked a bad path."
Words that didn't sound sincere, a hot sensation in her hands as a knife plunged into soft flesh and reaped a life. Exhilaration, happiness, unbridled joy as a small droplet of blood filled a bit more. It wasn't a life he had just taken, it was just a little brick he placed down to walk forward more easily.
A family that had failed their ambush on a different pair of travellers. They had misjudged the strength of the enemy and had been severely beaten, they barely managed to escape with their lives. But the two of them knew how to get into their house, there was a flaw in their defensive array, one they hadn't told the family about when they moved in.
How easy it was to sneak in at night. It didn't matter that the family wasn't sleeping, what good did it do to keep guard when you couldn't defend yourself? Once they had been decently strong, on par with the two of them so there was no way they could make a move. But now they fell so easily. A knife in the knee to hamper movement, a dagger in the shoulder to prevent counter-attacks, a sword through the throat to fill the small droplet. It was all so easy, so fun, so exhilarating.
Death. Death. Death. Death. Death. That was all Hui Xin saw, life after life was taken and dumped on the side of the road, brick after brick was happily placed on the road. All for that one little droplet, that one cursed drop they had yet to fill even once. Fellow sect members, people they had shared drinks with before, strangers, it was all the same. Death. Death. Death. All for the droplet, for that little crimson light that pointed further ahead.
Hui Xin felt sick to her stomach. The sight was bad enough, but the emotions were worse. Anger when the droplet didn't fill fully, anger at the person they killed for not being stronger, sorrow at not having done something faster, despair as others went further ahead of them. Joy at being faster, happiness at finding a new prey, delight when they found a way to be more efficient.
Hui Xin felt her knees buckle beneath her, strength left her legs and she collapsed to the ground. She retched almost right away, she continued to heave and vomit as if she was trying to expel all of the emotions she had just felt. But that sickly joy, that twisted anger, it all stuck to her like maggots, gnawing at her mind and bones.
"Sorry, I didn't expect it to have such a strong impact."
A calm voice, a gentle voice. A warm palm reached her back, a soft tingling running along her spine, blowing away the wretched emotions. Was this how Liang Chen saw sin? Was this how he made his judgment? Almost 63 thousand disciples, had he seen this from all of them, felt it from all of them? Could man even endure something like that without breaking? Or had the man perhaps broken long ago, was that perhaps why he chose the road he did?
Whatever the case was, how could he act as he did? That calmness, that gentle voice and weary expression, how could something like that possibly exist in an ocean of such poisonous emotions?
"Tha...That...?"
She couldn't quite squeeze out the words, retching again, a gush of stomach acid hitting the floor since she had nothing else left in her. She didn't want to know the answer, she didn't want to have it confirmed. But Liang Chen was not so kind as to listen to her wishes, or perhaps the harshness of the truth was his form of kindness.
"Memories, their memories. Did you look at them properly? The twisted expressions of those that died, the drowned out screams of those caught? Did you feel the weight of their lives?"
Hui Xin couldn't answer, retching again as she recalled the faces of the dying. The father who fell before his son, the husband who tried to protect his wife, the sect member who took an attack for his junior disciple. Twisted visages of despair, pain and hopelessness, anguish that would never be answered, screams that would never be heard.
"When you decide to show someone mercy, you don't just carry the weight of their lives. The lives they've taken in the past, the lives they'll take in the future, you'll have to shoulder them all. If that one person you spare kills five hundred? That's five hundred souls added to your burden, a weight you'll never be able to escape. That is why you must always look closely, learn as much as you can, take as much time as you want. Misplaced mercy is nothing but cruelty, so make sure that you are absolutely certain when you show mercy, very few actually deserve it."
That was the lesson he wanted to teach them, so simple yet oh-so cruel. Their dream of mercy was nothing but that, a dream, a vain hope so distant that they might never grasp it. Mercy was heavy, it was cruel. Was that why Liang Chen killed, because he considered himself too weak to bear the weight of mercy? Hui Xin didn't know, and perhaps she would never know, retching once again as she fully took in the lesson about mercy.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
ShiranuiShukumei
ShiranuiShukumei Christ this chapter was a headache to write, philosophical stuff like this is always going to be the bane of me, especially when i have to mix it with trying to move a bit away from LC himself to show how the world around him sees things.
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