Chapter 69: Chapter 68: Goodbye New York
The Next Morning,
After the steamy encounter, he wandered down the streets of Harlem, his mind clouded with thoughts that swirled as thick as the evening air.
Even in his sober state, Ricky was a disheveled wreck, stumbling through his day with the weight of exhaustion clinging to him.
His clothes were rumpled, as though he'd barely put in the effort to straighten them, and his hair stuck out in unruly strands.
Dark circles framed his eyes, betraying the sleepless nights and restless thoughts that plagued him.
"Ricky!"
A voice called out, and Ricky froze as he turned around slowly, his stomach knotting as his eyes landed on a figure that he desperately was trying to avoid.
The unexpected presence sent a wave of unease washing over him, making him feel as though the ground had shifted beneath his feet.
"Frank what are you-" Ricky started, an uneasy laugh slipping out as he forced a smile.
Ricky couldn't finish his sentence as the big guy closed the gap, pulling him into a tight hug and before he could react, Frank stepped back, placing heavy hands on his shoulders, his face softened by a sad smile that seemed to weigh down the moment.
"Gosh you little sh*t, I've been looking everywhere for you." Frank attempted to put on a brave front, giving Ricky's shoulders a firm pat, but the cracks showed.
His face, worn and disheveled, mirrored Ricky's, revealing that beneath the gesture of strength, he was just as shaken.
An uncomfortable silence settled between them, thick and heavy as the tension hung in the air, making every second feel longer.
Ricky's guilt gnawed at him, so much so that he couldn't bring himself to meet Frank's eyes, his gaze dropping to the ground as the weight of the moment pressed down on him.
"Here." Frank finally shattered the silence, extending an envelope and placing it gently in Ricky's hand.
"This was-" Ricky immediately spoke out, his eyes widening, recognizing the handwriting on the envelope.
*Sniff*
"This was one of the two letters that were next to the bedside," Frank said, his voice thick with emotion.
"This one had your name on it." Frank gave Ricky's shoulder a reassuring pat before stepping back, allowing Ricky to become engrossed in the letter, his attention fully absorbed by the item now clutched in his hands.
"Lucky also filled me in on what you were doing, and I appreciate it," Frank said, his voice wavering slightly, knowing that it would be impossible for Ricky to give Eddy a catholic funeral.
"But when you're ready, we'll spread his ashes, okay?" Frank forced a smile, trying to not break down at the thought of spreading his little brother's ashes.
Ricky opened his mouth to respond, but the words eluded him and Frank, sensing this, gave his shoulder one last pat before walking away.
Left alone, Ricky wandered the streets until he reached the Cotton Club as he paused at the entrance, hesitating.
Though he knew it was right to bid farewell to Jake and the others, he ultimately retracted, continuing down the sidewalk instead.
A car slowly eased to a stop beside him and despite his efforts to ignore it, Ricky glanced over to find Madame St. Clair waiting silently.
Words weren't necessary; the unspoken understanding was palpable and with a resigned sigh, Ricky approached the car and climbed in.
As the vehicle pulled away, it maintained a steady, regulated speed with Ricky slumping in his seat.
"I heard about your friend and might I say, thank you for not coming into Harlem afterwards." Madame St. Clair's attempt at humor fell flat, as Ricky didn't laugh and instead, he let out a small, weary breath, his mood remaining somber.
"What do you want?" Ricky turned his head to face her as she pulled out a cigarette and extended it toward him, which he accepted with a simple nod.
"I heard you're leaving, I just wanted to say goodbye, that's all." Madame St. Clair made a prompt comment, and to her surprise, it was the thing to actually make Ricky laugh.
"I didn't know we were friends." Ricky said in a cynical tone, lighting his cigarette and leaning against the window.
"We're not, we're associates, but even associates can say goodbye." Madame exhaled a small puff of smoke from her cigarette and swiftly retorted.
"Anything else?" Ricky asked with a self-deprecating tone, and Madame rolled her eyes, though a smile tugged at her lips.
"I wanted to say thank you." Madame actually thanked Ricky who was a little taken aback, laughing once more but in a thicker tone.
"You're kidding?" Ricky genuinely asked, thinking this had to be the first time he had heard her say anything of the sorts.
"Of course not, even though you're being a little sissy right now, I'm still grateful for everything you've done for my community." Madame promptly replied, showing her appreciation towards Ricky even if it was for his own profit.
"Honestly, the only reason I humored you in the first place was in hopes of getting in your pants." Ricky said with a playful smile as Madame burst into laughter at his bold proclamation.
"Oh honey, it wouldn't have taken a detective to figure that out." Madame tapped his shoulder with a slight chuckle brushing off a piece of lint.
"But still, you are a selfish piece of garbage, however in the end you helped out a lot of people which goes a long way." Madame complimented in a weird way as Ricky simply smiled.
"So when, or if you come back, I'll let you take me out to dinner as a reward." Madame then leaned over and kissed his cheek, opening the door on his side while in the act.
"Is that your way of telling me to get out?" Ricky asked, stepping out of the car as Madame laughed.
"No, it's my frustration for doing all that promoting to get you a couple of boxers only for you to suddenly leave." Madame closed the door but smiled through the window, her expression warm and playful as she watched Ricky's reaction.
"And Ricky, one more thing." Madame rested her head on the window, mirroring Ricky as he leaned down to match her gesture.
"If you still act like a child when you come back, lose my number," Madame said, giving his cheek a playful tap before the driver accelerated away.
*Sigh*
"Honestly, one of my biggest regrests in that I never got to tap that while I was still here." Ricky sighed, reflecting on his biggest regret as he shook his head and continued walking.
Arriving at Elijah's store, Ricky was unsure why he had come, though he felt an inexplicable pull toward it.
As he stood there, he realized he had nothing to lose by stepping inside, a sense of resignation pushing him through the door.
*Ring*
"Just a minute, I'll be right out!" Elijah yelled from the back, Ricky shrugging while starting to walk through the convenience store.
He grabbed a couple of snacks and headed to the counter, only to find that it was not Elijah but his son, Isiah, manning the register.
"Ring me up." Ricky tossed the snacks onto the counter, but Isiah shook his head, a knowing look in his eyes.
"My daddy told me not to ever charge you for the things you want in the store-"
*Sigh*
"Whatever." Ricky sighed, swiping the snacks off the counter as he didn't have the energy for any arguments and turned to leave.
"You know what, no." Ricky turned back to the twelve-year-old Isiah, who flinched as Ricky slammed the snacks back onto the counter.
"Let me ask you something-uh, wait what's your name again?" Ricky pointed at Isiah, who looked up with a mix of confusion and apprehension, clearly bewildered by the sudden shift in Ricky's demeanor.
"I-Isaiah?"
"Isaiah, why can't sh*t just fall into place and go my way, huh?!" Ricky erupted, directing his frustration at the young boy, who stood too confused and inexperienced to offer any answers.
"I-I don't' know-" Isaiah, not expecting to be used to vent his inner frustration, recoiled backwards a bit.
"Because it feels like whenever I do anything right and things are going just great, something always comes along to ruin the mood, the flow!" Ricky shouted, his frustration escalating as Isiah stood there nervously, unsure of how to respond to the outburst.
"Uh-"
*Thump*
Ricky banged his head lightly against the counter, letting out a deep, aggrieved sigh as he clutched the letter in his pocket, his fingers trembling as he struggled to muster the courage to open it.
"Daddy!" Isaiah called toward the back, his voice tinged with concern as he wondered if he had done something wrong.
Elijah emerged from the back, his eyes widening in surprise as he took in the scene before him.
"S-Slick-"
*THUMP*
Ricky slammed his forehead into the counter again, causing both Elijah and Isiah to flinch as a visible crack formed from the force of his impact.
"Go to the back boy, let me talk to him." Elijah, seeing Ricky obviously distressed and able to read the room, tapped Isaiah's back signaling him to leave.
Instead of answering, Elijah walked over to the door and turned the open sign to closed before heading towards the back, leaving the two of them in a heavy silence.
Elijah emerged with two root beers and two stools as he set them down next to each other and handed a drink to Ricky.
"I know that you've probably heard this a lot but I'm sorry for your loss." Elijah spoke first as Ricky reacted, grabbing the beer and sitting down quietly.
"Isn't everyone?" Ricky looked up, frowning at the soda but twisting off the cap nonetheless.
"But I can understand where you're coming from." Elijah suddenly said, causing Ricky to look up at him with a plain expression.
"Really?" Ricky asked, his voice strained as he struggled to keep cynicism at bay.
He honestly found it hard to believe that Elijah would truly relate to him, given that he was a mobster and his friend literally hung himself before his eyes when he had the fix all cure in his grasp.
"Yes Mr. Luciano-I mean Slick." Elijah began to speak but hesitated, noticing the skeptical frown on Ricky's face.
"You see, my wife was always a very sick woman." Elijah smiled, looking down at the soda with a reminiscent expression while rubbing the label.
"We grew up together, but she always had to be inside you see, due to her health." Elijah reminisced, closing his eyes and trying to remember her smile.
"Everyone used to tease her and even I was no different but when I saw her on a fateful Tuesday, god." Elijah let out a chuckle, shaking his head and gazing down.
"She was so pretty, I was barely ten years old yet even to this day I still remember that swelling in my heart." Elijah tapped on his chest, laughing at his own words.
"I-I visited her everyday after that, she couldn't go outside so she lived through my stories." Elijah began, his voice faltering but continued to keep it steady.
"My dream back then was to sail across the world and I always used to tell her the things I wanted to see, until the days passed, and it became the things we wanted to see." Elijah faltering turned back into a smile, his voice as smooth as the ocean.
"Did you end up sailing across the world?" Ricky asked Elijah who laughed, shaking his head and taking a sip of his soda.
"Of course not." Elijah laughed, wiping his mouth before looking back at the ground.
"No, instead of continuing to save for a boat, when I turned eighteen I used up all my savings and bought a ring." Elijah tapped his gold ring, chuckling at his own nativity.
"What happened to sailing across the world, wasn't it your dream?" Ricky asked, taking a sip of his beer.
"No, cause I realized I didn't need to sail across the world," Elijah said, his voice gaining confidence.
"From the start, she had always been everything I dreamed about." Elijah's words only made Ricky chuckle at the sentiment, finding it the sort of romantic notion one might find in a book.
"She got all mad at me too, saying the same things like 'It's your dream' and 'Don't stay because of me' but I wouldn't budge and took out the ring." Elijah continued to laugh, rubbing his golden ring in the process.
"I got on one knee and asked her to make me the happiest man by giving me my world. She said yes," Elijah continued, taking another sip of his soda.
"I took over my father's shop, but she didn't get any better. Then one day, she told me she was pregnant." Elijah's voice grew heavier, showing some hesitation but continued nonetheless.
"I was thrilled at first, until the doctors warned us that if she went through with it, she wouldn't live long." Elijah said, his voice growing somber with every word uttered.
"So what did you do?" Ricky asked, and Elijah raised an eyebrow in response as he then recalled seeing Elijah's son and nodded.
"Well we had my boy, Isaiah." Elijah said as if it was obvious, laughing along with Ricky.
"I'm sorry, but how does this relate to me-" Ricky asked, his laughter dying down only for Elijah to actually interrupt him.
"Because I watched someone I cared about slowly die right before my eyes, until one day, I came home and found they had already left this world." Elijah said, his voice heavy with emotion, finally getting to the point as Ricky halted his words.
"Did it get better?" Ricky suddenly asked, still reeling in from Eddy's death while feeling wholly responsible.
"No, not at first." Elijah shook his head, his face showing that even now, a part of him hadn't gone over it.
"The real sh*tty thing about grief, Slick." Elijah said, his voice steady but tinged with sorrow.
"Is that aching feeling that you could've done more." Elijah paused, meeting Ricky's gaze before continuing
"But you've got to forgive yourself, Slick. Sometimes we lose the things we care about, and we can't control that." Elijah took a deep breath, his words raspy as this topic always made him emotional.
"I wasn't the best husband. I still had a lot of things I wanted to do with her, but I can't turn back the clock, and I don't want to." Elijah conveyed that, even now, he still wishes he could go back and do more, but he wouldn't change a thing.
"But if I didn't-" Ricky tried to say something only for Elijah to put up a hand and shook his head.
"You're only hurting yourself when you try to reason with their loss, trust me I know, I used to think about what I could've done over and over until I realized that she was just gone." Elijah had already played this game before, knowing it was a never ending circle of despair and the only way to break free, is to simply not play.
"The best thing I can tell you, Slick, is that no matter how much you punish yourself, he's already gone, and nothing you do will change that," Elijah said, giving Ricky's shoulder a reassuring pat as he took a swig of his soda before walking away, leaving Ricky to absorb his words.
The bell rang, and Isaiah slowly returned, his expression still uncertain as Elijah pulled him into a hug before heading back to reopen the store.
The weight of Elijah's words left Ricky deep in thought and as he was about to leave, he noticed someone leaning against a nearby post.
"Hey Henry." Ricky waved, and Henry responded with a laugh, raising his hand with a toothy smile.
"That's it? I could've sworn you were going to say something snarky at my sudden arrival like 'Why are you here?' or 'How did you find me?'" Henry laughed as he walked alongside Ricky, who simply trudged down the sidewalk in silence.
"What do you want, Henry?" Ricky asked a question, and Henry sighed, realizing he couldn't even muster the energy to humor him.
"Is it true your leaving, cause if you do I'll have a-"
"Yeah I am and you can just give up my spot." Ricky had lost interest in high school, feeling that he had far more pressing concerns on his plate.
"And here I thought our little club meant so much to you?" Henry asked, only to watch Ricky walk into a bagel shop without a word.
"Well, I guess I've hit my limit with snobby rich kids," Ricky said, waving Henry away only for the latter to remain unfazed, walking up to the counter alongside him.
"Aye Tony, everything bagel with schmear." Ricky waved at Tony, his bagel guy, who nodded and went to get his order ready.
"I too will have what he's having." Henry walked up to the counter and saw Tony generously slathering a massive amount of cream cheese on the bagels.
"Oh, can you lay back on the cream cheese?" Henry tentatively asked, causing both of them to freeze.
Tony and Ricky locked eyes, and suddenly, Tony's expression shifted into a scowl as he threw down his knife in frustration.
"The f*ck you say." Tony's demeanor turned aggressive immediately, while Ricky shook his head in disappointment.
"R-Ricky what did I do-" Henry held up his hands, looking at the disappointed Ricky to the side.
"You're disrespecting the schmear Henry, you can't disrespect the schmear in a f*cking bagel shop." Ricky laughed as if it were common knowledge, while Tony shook his head, clearly exasperated.
"Listen Slick, I respect you and all but I can't serve someone like that." Tony held up his hands in a gesture of defeat, and Ricky nodded in acknowledgment.
"Aye don't worry about, I get it, he can't come in here and say sh*t like that." Ricky nodded in agreement as Tony let out a sigh of relief, while Henry stood to the side, clearly confused by the exchange.
"I-I am so confused." Henry whispered to himself, watching bagless at the side while Ricky was being handed his bagel minutes later.
"Tony, it's beautiful." Ricky gestured to Tony at the masterpiece, who raised his hands in a gesture of refusal when Ricky tried to pay.
"No way Slick, I ain't letting you pay, you know this." Tony shook his head, showing with his words and actions that it was unacceptable for him to ask for money.
Ricky shrugged, taking a huge bite of the bagel and waving goodbye, Henry following along while still puzzled by the interaction.
"Ricky what did I-" Henry didn't understand what it was that he even did wrong, trying to ask Ricky who was hearing none of it.
"Stop, just stop." Ricky held up his hand, not wanting to hear any excuses after being embarrassed right in front of his bagel guy.
"Anyways, are you sure you're not coming back-" Henry regained his bearings, asking out for even more clarification as if Ricky would change his mind.
"Nope, tell the school I quit or don't since it doesn't matter any more." Ricky answered without much thought, taking another bite of his bagel and Henry sighed, clearly resigned to the lack of explanation.
"Are you sure you're not taking an early summer!" Henry stopped and yelled after Ricky, who continued to stroll down the street unperturbed.
"If that's what makes you sleep better at night!" Ricky yelled back as he turned the corner, leaving Henry scratching his head in confusion, leaving him alone with only one thought.
"What the hell is a schmear?"
Munching on his bagel, Ricky strolled down the bustling streets, a sharp sting of irony pricking at him.
People who had once played insignificant roles in his life now seemed to reappear, like ghosts from a forgotten past.
Each bite of the bagel felt heavy with his growing realizations and deep down, he knew he owed it to his friends and loved ones to face the consequences of his actions.
Yet with every step, the truth he dreaded became clearer: he just didn't have the guts to confront them.
His thoughts drifted to his old friend, Jake, as an uneasy feeling settled in his chest as he felt that nothing good could come from showing up at Jake's door.
Ricky had essentially convinced himself that it was better to leave without uttering a single goodbye.
It was a one-dimensional way of looking at things, but to him, it made sense.
In his mind, Jake was his friend, and that meant Jake would understand while seeing things the same way.
Jake had always been there, a steady presence through thick and thin but the burden of his own failures and betrayals now made Ricky feel unworthy of that friendship.
He couldn't bear the thought of seeing disappointment in Jake's eyes or facing the unspoken questions that would linger heavily in the silence between them.
The city seemed to close in around him, the noise of traffic and chatter amplifying his internal turmoil.
Ricky knew he was being a coward, but he couldn't muster the courage to face the reality of his actions.
He had always been a master at running away, burying his problems beneath layers of bravado and recklessness.
As he turned another corner, Ricky tried to justify his decision as maybe it was better this way.
Maybe Jake was better off without him complicating things further.
He clung to that thought, even though a part of him knew it was just an excuse to avoid the painful confrontation.
Tossing the bagel wrapper into the trash, he sighed, thinking of all the lovers he was about to leave behind, each carrying his bastards in their wombs.
It was cruel, but out of all of them, Ricky felt a pang of something only for Maria, Alina, and, for some reason, Dolly.
When it came to Dolly, Ricky figured it boiled down to the simple fact that she had been his first conquest which he determined was the real reason she held any significance.
With each step, Ricky convinced himself that abandoning them wasn't so terrible that, in fact, they might be better off without him.
In Alina's case, he felt certain that she would forgive him as long as he eventually reappeared.
He had given her everything she needed for a comfortable life, after all, as he even convinced himself that leaving abruptly wasn't his fault, it was the mafia's fault for everything, and she would surely understand that.
However, when it came to Maria, Ricky actually felt a sense of guilt as he had gotten everything he wanted from her, and now that he had it, he was leaving without a second thought.
Maria knew why he was leaving, and so did he, but just because they both understood didn't give him the right to skip saying goodbye.
But Ricky did what he always did, convincing himself with Profaci's earlier words that he would only bring trouble to Maria.
His gaze drifted towards the distant docks as he finished his bagel, the final bite a bitter reminder of the steps he hadn't had the courage to take.
As he walked aimlessly towards his departure from the city, he felt a confusing mix of shame and relief.
Shame for his cowardice, relief for his escape.
The road ahead was uncertain, brimming with potential pitfalls and challenges and for now, though, he chose to avoid it, wandering aimlessly and delaying the inevitable confrontation with his past.
"And here I thought you'd run away." Abraham joked as Ricky arrived, but instead of laughing, he simply stared at him.
*Thump*
Ricky gave him a slight push, causing Abraham to stumble backward and trip over a random box behind him and despite the clumsy mishap, he didn't spill a drop from his flask.
*Sigh*
Abraham sighed at the incident, taking a swig from his flask and meanwhile, Ricky turned his attention to Alexander, Chester, and Henry, observing them closely.
"You guys ready-"
"I'm not going, Ricky." Chester made the announcement, leaving Ricky completely stunned by the sudden news.
"Why-"
"Because someone needs to stay to make sure that old human still has that Genjutsu on him." Chester remarked, noting that unlike Ricky, he hadn't forgotten his one purpose since arriving.
"Oh." Ricky scratched his head, having completely forgotten about that.
"Will you be-"
"Yes, but will you?" Chester retorted with a question of his own, which Ricky scoffed at almost immediately.
"Then take care of Alexander, he gets lonely." Chester flapped his wings and took off into the sky, while Alexander turned to watch the crow soar away.
"Lonely? ME, THE FORMER RULER OF MACEDONIA! HA!" Alexander stomped his paw against the side of the boat.
"Lonely? ME THE FORMER RULER OF MACEDONIA! HA!"
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Alexander yelled, chasing after Henry with no success, while Ricky turned to see a figure rushing toward him.
"RICKY!"
Turning his head back, Ricky was surprised to see Chores and Barko racing after him, and they continued their pursuit until they reached the boat.
"How did you guys even-"
"Madame told us and here." Chores promptly delivered her message, causing Ricky to roll his eyes at her blunt interference in his life as he glanced down at the letter as he listened.
"Jake wanted to come, but decided to stay behind but wrote this impromptu letter." Barko narrated while Ricky opened the letter, pulling out the words scribbled onto the page.
Dear Ricky,
You suck. Seriously, I know you're an asshole but I had to hear from Madame that you were leaving today, really man? But, I should've expected something like this since you aren't really known for responsibility.
I swear, I still remember that night where you brought that booze from that fancy club you and Maria got invited to. The one where you picked up that fine red headed broad and me this busty blonde. I never told you this but when you were cuffed with nothing more than a sock covering your you know what, me, Eddy, and Rocco always used to clown you behind your back.
We were really just four guys, laughing and making memories that, at the time, felt like they would last forever. It's hard to believe that Eddy and Rocco are gone now. The thought of never seeing them again, never hearing Eddy's stupid bets or Rocco's crappy pick up lines, it's... well, it's tough, man.
And now, with you leaving, it feels like the last piece of our group is breaking away. But hey, I get it. Life moves on, and we all have our paths to follow. Just know that no matter where you end up, those memories are a part of us. They'll always be there, a reminder of better times, of friendship, and of all the crazy things we did together.
Take care of yourself out there, Ricky. And maybe, just maybe, try not to get into too much trouble. Don't worry about the clubs, I'll hold it down until you make your return in a way that only I would expect from you.
Sincerely your best and now only friend,
Jake Lankey
Ricky laughed the entire time he read the letter, recognizing that more thought might have gone into it if Jake had had more time but still, it was more than enough for him.
As he reached into his pocket for Eddy's letter, he hesitated, tucking it back away without opening it.
The boat started to pull away from the dock, its engines rumbling softly and Ricky leaned against the railing, scanning the crowd that walked along the port.
Among the throng of people, he spotted a solitary figure standing tall, Lucky.
In that moment, Ricky ignored the other stragglers and focused solely on Lucky, the man who had done so much for him.
Reflecting on his past life, Ricky remembered his father as a pitiful figure who had only ever given him childhood trauma.
But Lucky, who wasn't even his biological father in this second life, had been more of a father to Ricky than he could have ever hoped for.
As Ricky watched the man standing alone, he hesitated, torn between speaking up or simply turning away.
The distance between them grew, but then Ricky noticed a broad grin spreading across Lucky's face.
Lucky began laughing, a deep, hearty sound that carried over the noise of the boat's engines.
Ricky felt a swirl of emotions, but the sight of Lucky's joyful laughter made him smile as he couldn't help but raise his hand in return and join in the laughter.
"Ha~" Ricky shook his head with a chuckle, thinking that they both knew what was unsaid but chose to leave it at that and instead, they simply laughed together.
They both started laughing and waving, the distance growing but the connection feeling as strong as ever.
Lucky's figure gradually disappeared into the distance, but the image stayed vivid in Ricky's mind.
Ricky mused for a while before pulling out his key, unlocking the storage room, and walking out with the cross.
"It seems like you are ready for your destiny, my descendant." Perciveil manifested in the sky before Ricky who squinted his eyes as he looked up at him.
"Just shut up and tell me how to be the Black Knight."
Author's Note: End of Volume 1, I know it's been a little rocky and somewhat frustrating but this phase is almost over, just let me cook a bit more, little bit more.
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