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Marvel: Horus, God of Evolution
3.09 (21 ratings)
Synopsis
Young Horus was unexpectedly murdered by a satellite while walking home from his last gaming competition.
To his unsurprising self, he is met with laughing when he comes to after burning to death.
The god he meets is his ROB. Though, this ROB is too keen on laughing at how he died to a satellite.
“Eh, who the f*ck is laughing? Come here, my hands are feeling itchy!”
Giving him 3 wishes and a chance to choose world of his choosing, Horus reincarnates in to the body of Horus, God of the War, Sky, Sun, and Evolution.
Read as Horus traverses his way through time and meets some of his favorite characters in the Marvel continuity.
***
MC will start off with the Gods of Egypt movie due to there being no substantial marvel background data. (It’ll be altered quite a bit)
Then, he will encounter Seth (Set) that will spark the marvel comics/MCU events for Horus’s background.
The first Arc will be MC growing up and becoming a symbol to the people of Egypt/Wakanda.
MC will spend 1/3 of the book conquering the MCU
(it’s the weakest.) Eventually, he will start expanding the multiverse. I may keep it mainly on Earth 616 tho.
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21Reviews
3.09
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The concept is cool but story wise, it's just a botched wishlist that overflows followed by perks used as more wishes, and then more and more greed that pretty much kills all excitement and makes you wonder why he didn't just wish for the three omnis and be done with it. I mean, there's no end to this guy's and and and and and and and and ands in things he gets and wants in addition to getting them handed to him without effort. There's no story to be developed, the characters design is that he has endless nepotism fulfilled by the author that kill possible angles for story development and as a result the writing quality suffers and the world background is meh. It has nice updating stability tough. It also has a wickedly cool display picture and the title to draw in views. It's just the lack of story is pretty much killing this for anyone getting past the endless wishes and perks with the two chapters afterwards.
Bruh, there are so many grammatical errors, the character dialogue is completely messed up (this can be observed from the start as the mc talked to the god, his supposed "brother"), any self-respecting author would not use profanity's in their story, especially as casually as this author has. The author uses swear words as if they are just random words without meaning (why would a god use profanity, it does not matter if that god is somehow your brother, as one gets older they mature. Obviously this author does not understand that concept). Also not to mention the lack of "common sense", I understand that most readers would not care, but I believe that there should still be some common sense in a fictional story (people do not die from burning, usually, to die from burning you would have to be in an open area and you would have to be burned by really strong flames, or just for an extended period of time. Carbon monoxide poisoning would kill you before a fire can if in an enclosed space, and for many other reasons)
It's a story with great potential, but the MC's intelligence doesn't make sense. He's too stupid to have a level 13 intellect, no offense (but possibly already offending), he can't be focused, knowing his uncle is going to kill and disembowel his father he'll just wait and then "I'll get revenge and get the that is rightfully mine" with something that could be avoided, then he becomes a typical dense protagonist with brainless plot armor, all he should have done was just have it planned. For the love of it, he has the EVO and evolution deity, plus a pantheon of personal deities (light/sun, Sky and War), of course leaving out the 13th level intellect, that's already ridiculously bad, he could be much better. Remember Breniac, Lex Lutor or Jor el (supernam's father) use them as a basis for intelligence (they are all beings with great intellect), you don't have to be cold and calculating, but it doesn't make sense for him to just wait, ("I know that my father is going to die, what do I do? I think I'll watch it, wow he really died), he could ask his father to postpone the coronation to prepare against his uncle in secret (so many easy ways to prevent this). Second in front of Ra, you had many better requests, such as Ra teaching how to use divinity (he is a god of war, he gets more as he fights, he can use the model of Ares from DC), knowledge or even temporary protection against Set, for him to get stronger during this period, thus opening a "war on the leftovers" (murder, hidden fights among others, for Set to try to take power, but failing or succeeding, it depends on you, in the middle of that your parents use all their power to send him away and then he will end up in another ver so), but please stop these trips without logic. I'll stop here, but know that your story has a lot of potential but lacks a bit of logic.
Reveal Spoiler
Couldn't get past the 2nd chapter. this feels like a terrible crack fic. Dialogue always feels like it's 2 idiots screaming at eachother, it's unbelievably unreadable. Main problems are this is a crack fic but there wasn't any warning stating it was one.
1. Bruh, why did ra separate is divinity and scatter them across the world. it would even make more sense to just sealed is other divinity than scatter than. 2. he is suppose to be smart an 12 level intellect by reading this story he does not show case this or when his father was killed by his uncle he sit there and watch not a level 12 intellect being would do. 3. why scatter is divinity in the first place. it to introduce other gods or for other gods that have the same divinity to absorb it. can other gods sense it.
Reveal Spoiler
Badly written story, its'snot even funny, it's a great idea, but executed badly, and that's putting lightly.
I love the mc god concept [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
I’m kinda bummed out cuz this could have been a good story. What finally sealed its fate was the Hercules fighting portion. As for when it started to show visible cracks was when set arrived and did the deed. (<-me trying to not spoil) the frame work of the gods of Egypt was a good idea but follow the plot with all the marvel pantheons mess added just screwed it over. You could have done something like Asgard stories where the main character grows up and the. Awakens his divinities and learns magic from scratch and go into detail a bit. Something like the fanfic of heal with biogenetic abilities. The divinity’s should have just been like any other power that needs to grow instead of the divinity’s themselves being the powers if you know what I mean. While the virus should have just given him a heightened an accelerated growth instead of directly raising him whole stages in power level. Example of this is the fanfic in marvel with the perfect body. You could have him learn magic from his own pantheon then the other pantheons then The various magic groups of humanity then maybe explore the universe a bit possibly plucking some infinity stones then get involved in WWII and go from there in the marvel plot. Plucking infinity stones and setting up organizations during that periods that would work in the shadows for him with super soldier, super agent serums, and anti aging serums(periodically need to take the anti aging serum). Maybe include the red room girls, orphans, and possible ex soldiers if you have a way to ensure they don’t rogue like a modified extremes that monitors there thoughts while strengthening them it can rewrite their memories if they have darker thoughts. There is also that field of heart herbs, and you also can include mutants and others to recruit and make mutant awakening and unawakened serums for those that don’t like their powers. Also x gene serums. You can go on the researcher path by describing how MC created/ modified those serums like other series that do it well. Research andvance ai’s for the group etc. Then maybe make a harem from mutants to mcu girls at the later stages once you aproach modern times. And maybe from the various pantheons ohh and make Aliances all across the pantheons and magic groups that MC study at and certain other worlds as well. At modern times MC could be powerful enough for universe excursions for a day trip and take over a galactic empire like the shi’ar empire for provoking/trying to kill mutants that MC like. Eventually build up to thanos sensing the infinity stones gathered on earth through a machine and him gathering the remaining like the soul stone and not realizing MC strength. From there after gathering the infinity stones absorb there power to and having access to multiverse travel. Then go across the multiverse/connected dimensions for day trips like taking out the dark demension, chaos dimension etc. maybe beat up galactus. Eventually evolve to break past the multiverse and start journey in that higher realm.
trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash trash
Reveal Spoiler
hey author, nice character, but please update more frequently, like 3 to 4 times a week, else it's too boring to even read. awaiting better update stability
Mind numbing.Mind numbing.Mind numbing.Mind numbing.Mind numbing.Mind numbing.
I think that this is a very good start to a story and that this story can receive regular updates; it will be one of the top stories in Marvel fanfiction. I would suggest also fleshing out the main characters more in the upcoming chapters so that you have more ground to stand on by building relationships between them. Overall, I think this story has great potential, and I can't wait to continue reading it!
finally a Egyptian god in marvel universe