Chapter 2: A New Identity
In the time it took for an incense stick to burn and the Young Master in front of Tong Zhi to have a cup of tea, Tong Zhi indeed got lost.
The Xun Kuang Sect didn't hesitate with their justification to banish the worthless woman when she offended the carp leaping beyond the Dragon's Gate to land on the Moon. Tōng Pèifú just had too much potential and power as possibly being the second figure in history to reach the Lǐ Propriety Realm at the age of 18. The reckoning of the next Lǐ Master brought joyous celebration, much to Tong Zhi's irritation.
Despite being so popular among the beauties with big backgrounds, they hadn't asked for mercy on Tong Zhi's behalf. Perhaps this was the effect of status, like how a random vagrant would not speak contrary to a judge about the fairness of their decision.
On the other hand, Tong Zhi didn't know what happened to the fatty and his uncle, but she was sure they were much better off.
'Surely, the meritorious deeds of the Sect Elder would cover for any mistakes. These are the kinds of things that occur when such an elite Sect lacks powerful cultivators.'
Tong Zhi nodded to herself.
"...the other Clans pitably have two while the Tong Clan has four candidates for Clan Leader! It disheartens me to say the Tong Clan now has three candidates. Not even the Meng Ke Sect will help you, even with your Jade Essence Constitution! What use is a disciple with Heavenly Organ Systems if they cannot use them? Hahahaha!"
The laughter broke Tong Zhi out of her ponderous daze. She inspected the Young Master more closely. She didn't recognize his face, but his clothes reeked of his relation to the Tong Clan and quirky fashion. What kind of person walks around with sleeves so wide to the point of dangling to their feet?
"It's like you're planning to be so fat that your robes become a shirt?" Tong Zhi accidentally blurted.
The Young Master gasped in offense and shook his head, which made the weirdly giant conical straw hat fall over his eyes. He pushed it back up on his head and folded his arms.
"You… You don't look like much either!" he shouted, and then pointed his shaking finger at her face. "You… trash!"
Tong Zhi gave him an exasperated look.
"If I am trash, then who are you to bring a tea table, a gaiwan, and a shot glass to drink in front of me? You're not supposed to drink tea from shot glasses!"
"S-shut up! I'm a Young Master, so respect me!"
"You look like a fool who can't cultivate properly, let alone function on his own."
The Young Master's face reddened in embarrassment and anger.
"It's not my fault I experienced cultivation deviation! Who knew getting caught by your father while finally coercing the top courtesan of the The Madam's Estate with many taels to bed you on the day of your mother's funeral would do that?"
Tong Zhi took a moment to process the quickly recited tale before deciding to ignore it.
"I don't want to know why your father was also there on the day of your mother's funeral…"
"Then don't ask!"
Tong Zhi almost chuckled at the fuming Young Master. The stinging pain in her face flared, but it was minimal compared to when it was fresh. It was even better when Tong Zhi relished in the Young Master's troubles.
"I am forced to join the Xun Kuang Sect if I want to recover and compete with the other candidates for Clan Leader. A woman like you wouldn't understand."
He flicked his sleeve, giving off a feeling of complete incompetence.
Awkwardness stifled the air, like a peacock showing fetid feathers falling from its behind to a reproving blue jay. It was hard to believe Tong Zhi's cousins were her age or older.
Thoroughly defeated by Tong Zhi's gaze of contempt, the Young Master fell on his tea table for support.
Suddenly, Tong Zhi had an idea.
'I can't get kicked out or I will definitely die on my own out there, so…'
She dangerously considered the defenseless head of the Young Master.
'In the end, the bigger fist decides…'
The Young Master started to turn his head over.
"F**k, it's time to go for broke!"
"Huh? What do you—"
"HUA UN!!"
Tong Zhi struck with the grace of a donkey!
"BLUG AUH!"
It landed like a mallet against a calf's flank!
"HIA UN!"
Tong Zhi struck with the might of a chimpanzee!
"AH!!"
It landed like green on grass!
"HOOAH!"
"Uncle! UNCLE!"
After pummeling the Young Master until he coughed up blood, Tong Zhi rubbed her fists on his clothes. She picked up his fallen straw hat and used its enormous size to block her face. Taking extra care, she dusted off her robes to look more presentable.
Tong Zhi knocked on the large doors of the minimalistic Pagoda and waited for an answer. Soon, someone opened it up and popped their head out.
"What do you want, punk?" said the woman.
She looked to be just under 20, and fresh-faced, like a blooming lily. Such was her beauty that even Long Zhi had some second thoughts! Alas, it was not meant to be, since Long Zhi needed to survive, not fraternize with the doorkeeper.
"I am the Young Master…" Long Zhi announced in a deeper voice. "Ahem, yes, I am the Young Master, so let me in!"
The woman stared at the stranger who had such a large straw hat, it practically blocked half their torso. The skepticism on her face exceeded the need for words.
"Seeing is believing," Tong Zhi shamelessly said. "So what if this Young Master likes big hats!?"
"You don't look like a Young Master," she said, with doubt so extreme, that Long Zhi almost agreed. "Actually, you sound a lot like Tong—"
"AHEM! Pardon me for a moment, miss!"
"Hey, wait, stop!"
Tong Zhi pushed the door shut against the woman's protests and ran back over to the Young Master. She stripped off his shirt when she heard footsteps behind her.
"Hey! This Young Master demands privacy! Leave me alone!"
"...This is the Xun Kuang Sect."
"So!? This Young Master demands privacy to change!"
"...In front of the Xun Kuang Sect, in plain sight of everyone?"
"...How dare you question this Young Master!"
"..."
Tong Zhi snuck a peak at the woman crossing her arms.
"Look, I'm all for you coming back, Tong Zhi, but I can't get banished for letting you in like this. It's honestly destroying my image for you, so please leave while you have dignity left."
The woman left Tong Zhi standing there. Was it guilt Tong Zhi felt, for harming her clansman? Was it shame, for lying when the evidence clearly showed the truth? Was it sorrow, for her ruined future?
'F**k, what now!'
It was desperation.
Tong Zhi took off the straw hat and ran her hand through her hair.
At that moment, footsteps came from behind her.
"Yeah, yeah, miss. I'm sorry for playing pretend. I'll leave now."
A hand clamped around Tong Zhi's shoulder and a threatening feeling choked the air.
"Oi, oi? Are you the arrogant arse to smash my Young Master unconscious?"
Tong Zhi gulped and the hand turned her around.
There, a buff man in a tightly fitting black robe stood. He pulled a dagger from his dark hair bun which caused it to fall around his shoulders.
"I was taking a leak for just a moment, and you dared to take advantage of it?"
He brought his face closer to Tong Zhi, letting her feel his warm breath on her hands brushing her hair. Tong Zhi whimpered, eliciting a howl of joy from the man.
"A woman! Typical of that fool! But that doesn't mean I'll let you go free. He's my employer, so this demands some payback!"
"I-I'll pay you!"
"Hm? You look poor. Actually…" the man looked at Tong Zhi more closely. "If anything, I'd pay you for a night."
"Here!"
Tong Zhi shoved her string of coins at him.
"Ha, you think this mu—"
The buff man's eyes widened as he beheld the multitude of coins.
"How many taels is this…" he muttered.
"C-can I go now?"
The buff man almost drooled at the helpless expression on Tong Zhi's face. He felt a tingle in his nether regions and a crooked grin responded to it.
"Ah, but this is my Young Master's money. How can I accept a thief's stolen goods as payment."
"What!? His money's over there! And my name is on a piece of fabric strung alongside the coins!"
The buff man sifted through the coins and ripped the fabric off.
"Nope, don't see it."
"You're holding it right there!"
"I said, I don't see it."
The buff man stuffed the fabric in his mouth and swallowed it.
"Now, you have two choices."
The buff man grabbed Tong Zhi's chin and rubbed the flat part of his dagger on her cheek.
"I cut your hands off here, and maybe a bit of your face? Or…" he panted like a gorilla in heat. "We can share a bed."
Tong Zhi's face scrunched up in more disgust as the heavy odor of garlic rampaged throughout her nose. With the strongest strands left of her will, Tong Zhi put on a placating expression.
"Can you forgive me?"
"What fo—?"
Tong Zhi brought her leg up with the force of two women!
"GEEEE!!"
The buff man slumped on his side, his hands clutching towards his crushed eggs. The dagger clattered onto the floor along with the string of coins.
"Goodbye!"
Tong Zhi swiped the money and weapon, taking off into the nearby woodlands.
"Damn you, woman! I'll r*pe you until you give me a son! You'll die by my hands, I swear it!"
The buff man slammed his fist into the stone foundation.
"Ah?" snarled a woman's voice. "You'll what on the Xun Kuang Sect's grounds?"
The sweaty buff man relaxed his expressed and switched to an ingratiating smile.
"It's a joke, a joke! No need to take me seriously! I wouldn't dare commit a crime in broad daylight! What insane person would do such despicable actions in front of Sanity Cultivators!"
"Tell me if this is a joke," she frostily spat.
She crouched and brought her fingertips together.
"Disownment Art: Your Father Has No Son!"
Like a drill aiming to make a hole, her hands flung towards the buff man's crotch! In the blink of an eye, his pants shredded and the buff man was given a new hole!
"AAAAAAHHHH!!!"
The elevation of pain was too much for the buff man, and so he fell unconscious as blood seeped from between his legs.
"Consider this your welcome to womanhood, you eunuch."
The woman wiped her hands on his shirt.
"Ugh, I need to wash this off…"
The Young Master continued to play dead until the woman closed the door behind her.
"HERK, BLECK!" he coughed, blood spewing all over his white robes.
"Damn you, Tong Zhi! I swear, I, KERK, HAK!"
The Young Master coughed more blood into his sleeve.
"I won't forgive you! I will follow you and ensure not even Buddha will accept your mangled body! Muahaha! Mu—HURK, KAH!"
He swiped the blood leaking from his mouth.
"Sh*t, am I dying?"
The Young Master scrounged his robes for a Rejuvenation Pill and ate it. He gasped for air and coughed blood once more.
"F**k, I need a drink. This taste is so metallic and thick!"
He grabbed his gaiwan and drank from it.
"HURG!"
Choking on the tea, he coughed. It spilled from his nose and the gaiwan slipped from his hands. The Young Master tried to catch it, yet, as if fated to be, the luxurious gaiwan shattered.
"F**K! Tong Zhi, this is your fault!"
In the distance, at that time, Tong Zhi felt very wronged.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
PettyOfficer
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Deathblade made a video talking about the 10 most disliked clichés in Chinese novels
https://youtu.be/uc3jCTNLMzE
His description said the survey is still open. If I remember, there are 42 choices?
What Chinese fantasy novel cliches do you dislike the most?
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdV966jX8HJy2l9pEMSFqoXIlhQKI2XbFDmjvWm73cUGX-lsA/viewform
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