/ Sci-fi / Jezebel
Synopsis
Jezebel Vince Mahon. A man exiled from his planet after actions out of his own mental control. After his exile, he is violently thrown into the realization that he is the royalty of an long-dead alien empire known as the Arrythian Empire. Inside of his own soul, is a very helpful AI companion, and a tasking system that gives him rewards for the completion of the tasks it desires. But for now? All he knows is that the universe is vast, and his future adventures are incalculable.
(Please note, I'm only able to release one or two chapters a week due to my current obligations. I'll try and make sure they're always 1500 words minimum, but occasionally they may fall short. Please critique me in the comments, always looking for feedback! I'm also looking for a better cover, as I have the art skills of a walnut. If y'all have any good ideas, please just leave imgur links or something. I'll credit yall. Anywho, thanks for reading!)
-- Power
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-- Power
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First I will go for the good stuff - the length of story is great and it's a nice genre. I really like the way you are slowly developing the main lead's character. Five points for that. I have read only a few chapters but it is indeed quite interesting. You will have to add it to your library. There are few pitfalls like the grammar which you can easily remove by reading it once again yourself before publishing. (I have realised this the hard way myself). The character takes a turn suddenly from being a nobody to an extremely violent person in the first chapter itself and it's a bit difficult to relate. Maybe a short prologue can help us out.
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Bad stuff first. Grammar is readable, which is a plus, but the author would benefit greatly from the use of software like Grammarly-pro writing aid, but his lack of skill limits him from doing the things he attempts to do in this writing😊😂 The paragraphs are huge, please compare your work to other popular novels. Honestly, if this was not a review swap I would have closed the novel right then. Some good points 1. He attempts imagery well, but his grammar skills. Make the display a little lacking. 2. The major plot makes sense, but it falls apart in the details, such as the prologue of the novel. The first two sentences hint at these problems. 3. It's free, so go read it!
The plot is good but hard to decipher how it will proceed in only 6 chapters. The characters as well as the world description is well developed till now. Though there are a few grammatical errors here and there, it's something that can be overlooked.. as it does not interrupt the story! One in a kind of story. If you want to try something new out, you can give this one a chance 😉 Also, I would suggest a better cover, you know the one where it attracts the readers to at least read the syno**is. But then again it's just my opinion. Keep writing 👍
I'm only reviewing my own novel, so people don't get scared off for reviewing haha. I feel it's pretty good, though the quality fluctuated extremely within the first two chapters haha. The characters are fairly well fleshed out in my opinion, and are definitely getting better. Please give this a chance, and a fair reviewing! Thanks! -Skyye
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact luffyringdom@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
I haven't read a lot of sci-fi but I have read a fair share of futuristic novels and I have to applaud the author on the world building. If you are a sci-fi fan definitely give this a try. You can try to split some paragraphs a bit more because they are a bit bulky, they end up looking a bit intimidating and I know this will tempt a lot of people to skip through them. All in all it's a great story, keep up the good work