Chapter 59: Ch16 EP16 S2
to the back of Grunkle Stan's RV.
Grunkle Stan puts a bumper sticker on it that says "CAUTION: SILVERFOX AT THE WHEEL" as Soos helps pack it up.
Stan Pines(Hums) "Nice. And don't forget bug spray! It's perfect for spraying in the face of hitchhikers."
Dipper "PinesWhoa. An RV? Camping gear? Are you running from the law again?"
I snicker at this comment
Soos Ramirez (On top of RV) "Dude! It's the ultimate Oregon road trip adventure!"
Stan "More like revenge trip. Every year my tourist trap competitors prank the Mystery Shack. Last year those hooligans duct taped Soos to the ceiling."
"They what?!"i shout in anger
Soos "That was a fun 78 hours."
I sweatdrop at his answer
Stan "Well, no more!"
(Pulls out a map of Oregon's tourist traps and hands it to Dipper)
"This year we're visiting every tourist trap along the Redwood Highway, and I'm gonna prank back every single one."
I smirk while fiddling with the smoke bombs i brought with me
I have red, blue, pink, Yellow, purple, orange smoke bombs 46 of them each
Grenda "Bow wow! Time to let the road dogs bark!"
Candy Chiu "That is us. We are the road dogs."
Mabel Pines "Thanks for letting me bring Candy and Grenda along for our road trip, Grunkle Stan."
Stan "The more the merrier. Just sign these non-disclosure agreements. None of your parents are lawyers, right?"
(Stan, Candy, and Grenda walk into the RV)
Soos(Jumps down from the roof of the RV) "What do ya say, dude? You comin'?"
Mabel "I already went to the trouble of packing all your stuff. Even the stuff you kept in that secret box under the bed."
(drops the box, pictures of Wendy and Lui coming out of it)
"Whoa. What the...? Ugh, what's that?"
I feel a large heat come and appear on my face and the little crawling spiders on the pit of my stomach
I speed walk past them nervously
I hate it when this happens i feel so warm i can feel it all around my body and i feel so uncomfortable and nervous even though it feels nice it also feels terrible and i hating it
I smack my cheeks until i calm down heading inside the RV
Dipper (Starts cleaning the pictures up) "Uh, nothing! Just...Wendy and Lui stuff...from old times."
Mabel and Soos "Ughh."
Mabel "Bro, I thought you were finally past all this Wendy stuff."
Dipper "Ahh, I know, I know! I know she's not interested and I know it's over, but how do you just turn off the way you feel about someone?"
Mabel "Two words, Dipper. Move. On."
Soos "Yeah, dude. And a road trip's the perfect place to meet new people."
Soos "plus if that doesn't work Lui is always a option"
Dipper looks at a picture of Wendy, then at the pamphlet. He looks up into the sky and smiles.
The RV bounds across the open road. Stan is driving as Soos pants with his tongue sticking out.
Grenda "Man, RVs are amazing. I can't believe we're sitting at a table in a moving vehicle!"
I chuckle at her enthusiasm
Candy "Ooh! Informational travel pamphlets. *Pressing pamphlets to her cheeks* I want to read them all and gain their travel knowledge."
Stan "Kid, those useless pamphlets have never helped a single person. The only wrinkly old travel guide you'll need is me. Now look alive! We're coming up on an attraction run by the most black-hearted proprietor in all of Oregon."
Cut to a sign outside Granny Sweetkin's Yarnball. The RV pulls up next to it and stops.
Stan "Don't let the face fool you. This woman lit my car on fire on two non-consecutive occasions."
Cut to outside the RV.
The kids have gotten out and are staring at the yarn ball.
Dipper, Mabel, Candy and Grenda "Whoa."
Mabel "I'm going in, girls. Waaah."
(Mabel goes inside the yarn. Candy laughs and follows her.)
Grenda "Yarn!" (goes inside the yarn)
I chuckle and Walk around the yarn leaving dipper alone
____
A tourist girl walks by Dipper.
Dipper "Okay. Like Soos said, meet new people."
(Walks up to girl and clears throat)
"So, uh...come here often?"
Unnamed tourist girl "No. I'm a tourist."
Dipper(laughs nervously) "You're funny. And cute. I mean, not cute. I mean, you're not not cute. Phew, let me start over."
(extending hand) "My name is Dopper."
(She dumps her ice cream in his hand and walks away as Dipper sighs)
Stan(Over the walkie talkie:) "Dipper, hup to! This ball a' yarn ain't gonna prank itself."
I walk by and jump over the RV
Dipper takes a piece of the yarn ball from Mabel and ties it to the back of the RV. He sighs.
Stan "Something on your mind, kiddo? You're thinking about miss cold shoulder over there, huh?"
Dipper "Ahh, I'm so embarrassed. Look, earlier this summer I ruined my chances with Wendy."
As they talk, Mabel and Grenda pop out of the top of the yarn ball and high-five.
I huff in annoyance a weird bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach kinda like lava
I hate it..
Stan "Heh, yeah. Chances."
Mabel and Grenda begin unraveling the yarn ball behind them.
Dipper "And I wanna move on, but I'm terrible at talking to girls. The moment I open my mouth around them I unravel like...like...well, I can't think of a perfect metaphor, but you get the gist. At this rate, I'm going to grow up to be a sad loner like Toby Determined."
I huff again at his words
Stan "Whoa. Never say that about yourself. Lucky for you I'm an expert on women. Listen to me, kid. When it comes to girls always be confident. And be funny, but not too funny. And be kinda annoying but in a lovable way."
Dipper "I don't know, Grunkle Stan. This sounds kinda jerky."
Stan "Hey, jerky is just a term non-jerks use to bad mouth innocent jerks. Confidence, comedy, some third word starting with a C. The three Cs of the Stan Pines dating technique! At the next tourist trap, try out my advice on the first girl you see."
Dipper "Cool. Grunkle Stan, thanks"
I feel the bubbly lava get stronger it's starting to feel like it hurts
I know it doesn't it feels like I'm... Sick?
I don't know
I always knew i was envious about a lot of things but love?
I hate this side of me and i hate surpresing it
Stan "Hey, I'm full a good ideas. Speakin' of which, everyone! Now!'
Dipper, Stan, and Soos run into the RV. Mabel, Candy, and Grenda get out of the yarn ball and follow them. The RV speeds away, unraveling the yarn ball completely.
Granny Sweetkin "Why, you gall darn son of a no good."
(Takes a nail out of the ground and throws it at the RV) "I'll get you, Stan Pines!"
I growl and grab it before it hits the RV
Cut to Upside-Down Town. The RV pulls up and stops.
Stan "Ah, Upside-Down Town. The nausea capital of the state. Whatever you do, don't use the bathrooms."
The kids put on shoes with Velcro on the bottom, so they can walk on the carpeted ceiling.
Mabel, Candy and Grenda "Road dogs! Woof, woof, woof!"
The kids get aligned with the ceiling and walk into the house, laughing.
Grenda "Nice!"
Mabel "This is so weird!"
Dipper walks in as he notices Emma Sue.
Stan(in Dipper's head:) "Alright, kid. This is it. Be confident."
I feel the lava pit appear again i huff and walk off
Dipper(Clears throat) "Hi, I'm Dipper. Crazy place, right?"
Emma Sue "Oh, hi. I'm Emma Sue. You know, if you pretend we're right side up, it looks like everyone's hair is standing on end."
Dipper "Huh. Yeah, weird, right? Pretend you're screaming."
Emma Sue "Okay. You gotta take a picture of me, though."
(Screams as Dipper takes a picture with her phone)
Dipper "Let's see about--whoa!"
(He lets go of the phone before catching it) "Huh-hoh, just kidding." (laughs)
Emma Sue(playfully:) "You are the worst." (softly punches Dipper)
Dipper "You bet I am. I'm bad, Emma. Kind of a jerk."
Emma Sue's Father "Emma, come on! We have to get to Canada before your mother gives birth!"
Emma Sue "It's a long story."
Dipper "Maybe you could tell me sometime."
Emma Sue "Here's my email address. Write me and I'll tell you all about it."
(Writes her email on Dipper's hand and walks away)
Dipper "A girl gave me her email. And it wasn't out of pity! Haha! Yes!"
(Jumps in the air and falls to the floor, landing next to Mabel)
* I'm okay. I'm better than okay. Mabel, hi. There's my Grenda. Candy, looking great, looking great. Is that a new pair of glasses? Very shiny."
(Candy blushes deeply)
"Hahaha. Wooo!"
I sigh as walk over to them
Grenda "Maybe it's the blood pooling in my head, but Dipper seems different."
(Groans as her forehead turns purple)
Candy "Yes. Good different."
Stan(off screen) "Now, Soos!"
Stan and Soos start jumping on the floor, rolling the house and turning it right-side up. The gang runs to the RV and drives away.
Stan "Not so upside-down now!"
(laughs)
Civilian "What a lovely normal home!"
Upside-Down Town Boss "Stan Pines!"
Dipper(Looks at Emma's e-mail) "I can't believe it worked. What do I do now? Do I e-mail her?"
Stan "No, no, no. You practice. The more girls you talk to, the better you get at it."
"That doesn't work like that-"
Dipper "Grunkle Stan, these tips are priceless."
'He's going to end up breaking their hearts at this point!'
[It's rude ain't it]
Stan "And that's just the tip of the advice-berg."
(A montage begins. Dipper flirts with girls at Log Land and the Corn Maze as Stan sabotages the attractions.
Soos walks into a random area of the Corn Maze as the rest of the gang runs back into the RV.)
Stan "Everyone on board?"
Mabel 'Probably."
The RV drives away, leaving Soos behind.
Soos "Guys? Hello? Anyone? They'll come back for me."
Cut to Septic Ridge RV Park at night. Dipper and Stan are relaxing in a hot tub.
Stan "So then I said to the bouncer, "Where's your ID, ugly?" (points to a scar on his under right arm) "That's where I got this scar."
Dipper(laughs) "Grunkle Stan, I gotta say this was one of the best days ever. Look!"
(Holds up arms with phone numbers on them)
Stan "That's the Stan Pines method, kid. Works every time."
Dipper "I'm just a little worried, though. I mean is it bad to flirt with this many girls at once? I'm just tryin'a get over Wendy. I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings."
Stan "Please. That's the best part 'a flirting on a road trip. You're not gonna see any of these gals again. To moving on!"
(Stan and Dipper laugh)
Screen pans to Me, Mabel, Grenda and Candy sitting at a bonfire next to the RV, eating marshmallows and laughing.
Mabel "Okay, it's time for..."
Mabel and Grenda... "Truth or Dare or Don't!" (point at Candy)
Candy "I choose... don't!"
Grenda "Ugh! You always choose don't."
Candy "Fine. Uh, truth."
Mabel "Do you...like someone?"
(Candy blushes)
Grenda "Uh-oh. Someone's blushing."
"That's cute"
Candy "Okay, maybe just a little. I don't know for sure. It just... started."
Mabel and Grenda "Tell us! Tell us!"
Candy "Okay. It begins with a D and ends with an ipper."
Mabel(shocked) "No."
Candy "Yes."
Mabel and Grenda(Gasp)
I feel the pit come back again and i pull my legs to my chest
Mabel "are you okay about this?" She asked me
The other girls stare at me
Grenda is simply curious and candy is nervous
I mean they all knew my feeling so why wouldn't they?
"It's fine.. I'll try to move on and find someone on this trip? You can have him"i give candy a small smile in reassurance
They all smile happily
I feel the pit of my stomach burn
I don't feel so good..
Mabel "Ready, Grenda? Three. Two. One. "
(Mabel and Grenda gasp before screaming loudly. Dipper and Stan look around.)
Stan "Man, coyotes sound a lot worse than I remember."
Mabel(Giggling with Grenda) "Candy. Candy! All my life dreams are coming true right now. My brother.one of My best friends."
Grenda "I can't breathe! I'm so excited I can't breathe!"(Falls backwards)
Candy "I never really noticed him before, but he seems different lately. Less sweaty, and more charming. But how do I approach him?"
Mabel "Don't even worry about that, Can-Can. Mabel's got a plan. (Shoves marshmallows in her mouth) Mabel's got a plan."
Cut to the road. The RV is back on the highway.
Stan "Alright, campers. We got another day 'a breakin' laws and breakin' hearts. Everything up until now has been a walk in the park compared to our next attraction."
Mabel "Is it a walk in the world's biggest park?"
Stan "Eh, sort of. There she is, kids. Mystery Mountain. Five times the size of the Mystery Shack, and what's worse: she has real attractions."
Candy "Oh! I have read about this place. It has sky tram. And a mummy museum. And sightings of half human, half spider creatures."
Stan "Even their made up legends are better than ours. Today, the mountain falls."
Mabel(nods at Grenda) "Question. The back seat makes me car sick. Can I sit up front today?"
Grenda "Also question. I'm the size of two people. Can I have a whole seat to myself?"
Im not exactly on a seat as I'm kinda have been floating Infront for the whole ride
Candy (looks up from the pamphlet and blushes)
Stan "Eh, I don't know, sure."
Mabel(runs to shotgun seat) "Whooo! Change up!"
(yells as she pushes Dipper out of the seat and into the back seat)
Dipper "But wait! That means it'll just be me and--"
(looks at Candy, who is sitting next to her)
Candy(blushing) "Candy Chiu! 6th grade!"
Dipper(jumps back) "Whoa! Hey."
Dipper and Candy awkwardly sit in silence.
After a few seconds, Candy moves closer to Dipper.
Dipper "You're sitting close."
I cross my arms while the pit only gets bigger
'I need to get over him and fast'
Grenda(giggles with Mabel as she moves a curtain over the back seat)
Candy "So, Dipper. I was wondering, would you maybe want to walk around the Mystery Mountain with me today?"
Dipper "Ssssure, I mean, wasn't that already the plan?" (scoots away from Candy)
Candy "I mean, just us. You and me. Candy and Dipper."
Dipper looks shocked as Stan slams the brakes on the car, coming to a stop in front of the Mystery Mountain entrance.
Cut to Stan outside the RV.
Stan "Alright, road dogs! I got five bucks for whoever can tip the big blue ox! Go, go, go!"
(Ushers Mabel and Grenda out)
Candy(to Dipper:) "I will see you in there!"(giggles and walks away)
I walk off to the left
___
Stan "Hey, what's up with the mopey mug, kid?"
Dipper "Stan! You gotta help me! Everything you taught me worked too well! I think Candy just asked me out on a date!"
Stan "He-hey!" (punches Dipper's shoulder) " Look at this little champion!"
Dipper "What? No! I-I mean, Candy's great, she's sweet and she's smart, but I've never thought of her like that! Th-th-this is all moving way too fast. (sits down, panting) Okay. I just need to be honest with her and tell her I-I'm not ready for all this."
Stan(laughs and shakes his head) "Don't you see what's happening here? That's your dumb obsession with Wendy gettin' in the way of your future! If you wanna move on, you've gotta say yes to whatever comes your way."
(walks toward ticket booth and looks at Darlene) "Speaking of which..."
Darlene grins at Stan.
Dipper "But I don't wanna lead her on!"
Stan "Ah ah ah! Watch and learn."
(walks to ticket booth; searches pockets) "Oh, I seem to have lost my number! (flirt-like) Can I borrow yours?"
Darlene(laughs) "You are a riot! What brings you here? We don't normally get men this handsome around these parts."
Stan "Heheh. Well, (looks at name tag) Darlene, between you and me, what I'm doing here is a little secret."
Darlene "Oh, you seem like a man with secrets." (laughs with Stan)
Dipper "Ugh."
Darlene "You know, I'm going on a break. You wanna take the sky tram up to Widow's Peak?"
Stan(whispers to Dipper) "Take my advice or don't, but clearly I know what I'm doing."
Darlene(takes Stan's offered arm and walks to the entrance with him) "Oh, fancy!"
Stan(turns his head back to Dipper, grins, and points at Darlene)
_____
I huff as i pass multiple people on the mountain and sit on a rock as i begin to sketch
I hear rustle coming from the bushes
I turn with a knife on hand and a girl comes out
'oh shit! She my type!'
I stare as she looks back at me with a smile
She had moka brown skin and light brown eyes she wears glasses with white rimming and her hair is a cute black color it's short in a pixie cut and she seems pretty athletic
I feel a light warmth on my face but the pit in my stomach doesn't go away if anything it seems to protest the attraction i feel for the girl
"Hi?"i say nervously
She chuckles at me
"I'm Danahi it's nice to meet you?"she introduces herself
I let go of my knife placing it back in my bag while staring at her outstretched hand nervously
My eyes dart around for a few seconds
"Don't leave me hanging!"she say with a small grin
I feel the warmth get bigger
I grab her hand and shake it then let go
"Lui.."i manage to let out
I feel the pit of my stomach protest more my knees felt weak
This wasn't good
She giggles at how 'shy' I'm being
I finally use my ability
And see her info
[name: Danahi Esperanza Flores Flores
Age:12
Likes:football, swimming, coffee and flowers
Dislikes: lier's, feeling inferior
Warning:she isn't that nice to the LGBTQ+ community]
I instantly feel a sense of dread
I didn't seem to like her anymore the last bit of attraction was gone the moment i found out she had a negative out look on a GROUP of PEOPLE
I immediately went to start walking away but i could hear her footsteps behind me
I felt uncomfortable she is following me
I huff and decide to just try and see how bad she is
I slow down so now we are walking together
I notice a small detail
She was blushing while staring at me
As much as i didn't like her i wasn't going to lead on someone i had NO INTEREST IN
So i run off again making sure i loose her
Once done i realize that the feeling in my stomach was reduced
I don't understand why though?
____
Cut to Mabel and Grenda watching from the bushes as Candy and Dipper enter Mummy Town U.S.A.
Mabel "Oh! I can't believe this is happening. A real date! I wonder what they'll name the baby."
Grenda "If I had a baby, I would name it Grenda 2: The Sequel!"
Mabel "You would make such a good mother."
Cut to inside Mummy Town U.S.A. Dipper and Candy are sitting on a bench. A banner above them reads "NEW MUMMIES DAILY".
I teleport above them invisible to see how it's going with them
Candy "This place is so enchanting."
Dipper "Sort of confused by the phrase "New Mummies Daily," though. I mean, how does that even work?"
Candy "This mountain is full of mysteries. Like, why is my head falling on your shoulder? Beeyooop."
(giggles as she places her head on Dipper's shoulder)
I feel the bubbly lava come back
Dipper "Uh, yep! This is what I want! This is all part of the plan and stuff."
I feel it get stronger
Corn Maze Girl 'Oh, Dipper! Hey!"
Dipper(gasps) "Corn Maze Girl!"
Corn Maze Girl(sits on bench) "I was wondering when you'd call."
Candy "Dipper, who is this?DipperNobody! I mean, uh, somebody, but--"
Emma Sue "Dipper! (walks up) I didn't recognize you right-side up. You'll never guess where my mom gave birth. Hey, who are these girls?"
Log Land Girl "Dipper? (appears from behind the corner) Why haven't you called? Did our romantic log ride mean nothing to you?"
Candy "I can't believe it. You agreed to go on a date with me and you were seeing all these other girls?"
'this is the boy i have a crush on?'
[Yup!]
'oh hush Liam!'
Corn Maze Girl "Well, answer us. Which one of us do you like?"
Dipper "I... (begins to sweat) I like all of you! I mean, I don't like any of you! I mean-- (pulls hat over face) I was trying to learn how to talk to girls!"
(laughs awkwardly)
Emma Sue, Log Land Girl, and Corn Maze Girl walk away in disgust.
Log Land Girl "Unbelievable."
Emma Sue "So gross."
Corn Maze Girl "What a jerk."
Candy "Dipper Pines. (takes off glasses and rubs eyes) I thought you were a nice guy. But I guess you only care about yourself." (Puts on glasses and walks away)
Dipper "Uh, Candy, wait! Ugh, I messed everything up. I gotta find Stan! He'll know what to do!" (runs away)
I sigh at this and follow him floating but now visable
Stan and Darlene move to sit at a bench near the Giant Spider Forest.
Darlene "Oh, are you sure you wanna go this deep into the forest? It's so scaaary."
Stan "Heh, don't worry, toots. (puts arm around Darlene) That spider people stuff is just an urban legend. I can't believe people fall for it."
Darlene "You're so brave."
Stan "What can I say? I'm a real catch."
Darlene "Yes. (blinks as her eyes turn black and her voice distorts) The catch of the day."
The view pans up as Darlene changes in size, stopping on a giant statue of a spider.
"StanUh, I think your contacts fell out--" (screams)
Cut back to the Mystery Mountain entrance. Dipper runs to the information stand.
Dipper(panting) " Uh, have you seen an old guy around here? Uh, big ears, orange nose, a real know-it-all?"
Mystery Mountain Worker(points to a Fire Retardant Raccoon animatronic)
Fire Retardant Raccoon "Ah, ah, ah! Flame Retardant Raccoon says: don't hug forest fires."
Dipper "Ughhh. (walks to entrance) Stan, where are you? I need your advice!"
"By the way?, Did you see everything?"he asks
I look at him while walking backwards
"I did pretty Jerky not Gonna lie.."i say with a straight face
" Awww man"he says
(hears static from the walkie-talkie and takes it out)
" Grunkle Stan?!"
Stan(from walkie-talkie:) "Heeey, buddy boy. So remember how we were talking about my technique? Well, sometimes it leads to unexpected consequences."
Dipper "Yeah, you can say that again. Where are you?"
Stan "The good news is, I've solved the mystery of where Oregon's mummies come from. The bad news is..."
(Cuts to Stan in a cave, trapped in spider silk and hanging from the ceiling right-side up. He has the walkie-talkie lodged in-between his shoulder and his head.)
Stan "...I'm about to become one. Turns out Darlene is one of those spider people. But beyond that, the date's been okay."
(Cut back to the Mystery Mountain entrance.)
Dipper "Wait, wait, wait. Darlene's a spider person?! How is that possible?"
Stan(in cave:) "I don't know. One minute we're having the perfect date, and the next minute she's growing extra legs and encasing me in webbing. Women, right?"
Dipper(at entrance:) "You couldn't tell she was a spider?!"
Stan(in cave:) "I was blinded by flattery! Also, this acid she spit in my face. I'm up the mountain at Widow's Peak."
Dipper(at entrance:) "Alright, I'm gonna find you. Stay put!"
Stan(in cave:) " ...You got it."
Darlene shoots a string of webbing at Stan's walkie-talkie, bringing it to her. She walks toward Stan, half-spider in appearance
Darlene "Ah, aaaah! Trying to escape?" (throws walkie-talkie, breaking it)
Stan "You tricked me! I'm 80% certain you don't really love me at all!"
Darlene "Hah! Men will fall for anything. (sing-song) You so funny, great story, I love a man with shoulder hair!"
Stan "You--you didn't mean it about my shoulder hair?!"
Darlene(moves right next to Stan) "Tell me, Stan. Before I transformed, who'd you think was in charge? You, with your cheesy lines and "fake confidence?" (walks away) I'm the master pickup artist here. Sorry, toots! This time, you're getting used for your body! Which, to my weird species, is food. Allow me to slip into something more horrifying."
Darlene uses her legs to pull her mouth open and over the rest of her skin, folding up her human appearance and revealing the true spider underneath.
Stan(screams)
Darlene "I wonder what beverage pairs well with a vintage 70-something year old man? (walks away into the cave) Be right baaaack!"(laughs evilly)
Stan(frantically) "Come on, Dipper, where are you?"
Cut to Mabel, Candy, and Grenda sitting at the Stump Bench.
Candy "I feel like such a fool. I should have known to guard my heart in a cage of ice."
Grenda "There, there! Let my calming voice soothe you!"
Candy "It is helping."
Candy "do you think Lui knows how much of a jerk Dipper is?" She says
The rest stay quiet for a few seconds but Mabel nods right after
"Why does she still like him then?"Candy says
"I-"Mabel starts
Dipper (runs over, panting) "Girls! There you are."
I fly right after him with my wings out
Mabel "Betrayer!"
Candy "Oh, you. What do you want?"
Dipper "I need your help."
Candy "With what, some sick jealousy trap?" (high-fives Mabel)
Mabel "Yeah, sing it, Candy!"
Grenda "Testify!"
"Told you they would still be mad at you"
Dipper "Look, I'm so sorry about everything. But Stan's in trouble! You can totally kill me later, but right now he needs us. I'll explain on the way." (runs off, with the girls following him)
(The kids walk up the trail, with Old Reliable going off in the background. They go past the Trambience as well.
Cut to back in the cave.)
Darlene(off-screen:) "Doo, do-doo, doo..."
Stan(praying) "Please. I don't know if you're really up there or not, but if you are, please save me, Paul Bunyan!"
Grenda(outside the cave:) "Mr. Pines!"
Stan "Whoa, did that really work?" (turns to see the kids running into the cave)
Grenda(yells as she tears up the silk holding Stan in place, making him fall to the ground)
Stan "Quick! Before the rest of the venom sets in!"
The kids tear the webbing off of Stan. They all run out of the cave, with Darlene at the entrance.
Darlene 'No! Where are you? "
(runs after Stan)
Candy "The sky tram! Everybody on! I have a plan!"
The gang hops onto one of the trams on the Trambience.
Mabel "Haha, yes!"
Grenda "Perfect!"
Stan "Ride like the wind, sky tram!"
The tram is moving very slowly. A voice plays inside the tram.
Recording "Welcome to Trambience, the world's slowest treetop tram ride. Enjoy the sights at 0.1 miles per hour."
I pull out my Lazer Gun
Grenda(groans) "Move, move, move!" (begins stomping the floor with her feet)
Dipper "Ugh, can't this thing go any faster?"
Recording "No it can't. This is Trambience."
Darlene climbs up a pole holding the trams and looks for Stan's tram. She jumps down on several trams as she searches for it.
Recording "Enjoying the view? (a loud bang is heard on top of the tram) Take a picture!"
Darlene's head appears in the window, causing everyone to panic. She begins coating the tram in webbing.
I shoot purple lazers at her but i can't see her with the webbing covering the windows so i have to focus on the noise
I make my fox ears come out while making my wings and tail disappear
Stan "We're doomed!"
Dipper "We're all gonna die!"
Candy(begins reading pamphlet) "Listen carefully! This sky tram has an emergency drop switch. Below us is Oregon's largest Paul Bunyan statue! And Old Reliable goes off in 5... "
(looks at watch) "4..." (grabs emergency drop switch)
Dipper "Candy, wait! Don't pull that lever!" (Candy keeps counting down)
Stan "Kid, are you crazy?!"
Candy "Now!" (pulls switch)
The tram is disconnected from the rail, sending it and Darlene down to the ground. An Old Reliable goes off, pushing the tram into the air. It bounces and rolls across Mystery Mountain, barreling through the ticket booth below the Paul Bunyan statue. Darlene is severed from the webbing and lies beneath the statue as its foot crashes down on her. She struggles to break free.
Darlene "My only weakness! A giant boot! A giant newspaper or a giant cup would've also been pretty bad."
The door to the tram is pushed open. The gang stumbles out.
Recording "Thank you for riding Trambience sky tram! Tell your friends it was a boring, boring ride."
Stan(to Candy:) "Kid, that was ingenious! How'd you know that would work?"
Candy "Useless travel pamphlets."
Darlene(weak) "Staaaannnyyy... (she pulls her human head back on) I'm sorry. I dunno what came over me. You'll let me out, right?"
Stan "What?! After all that? Seriously, do I look like an amnesiac?"
Darlene(laughs) "You're so funny. Have you ever considered becoming a comedian?"
Stan "You know, I actually have. Comedy is too subtle these days. My style involves more over-sized props. (walks to Darlene) Here, let me get you out from there--"
The kids pull Stan away from Darlene as she turns back into a spider and reaches out to bite him.
Stan "Oh, yeah. Right."
"You were being a dumb ass"
Darlene "You win this round, Stan! But mark my words, as long as there's men like you out there, with their dumb one-liners and pickup moves, I'll never run out of prey!" (spits acid at Stan's feet)
Stan "Aah! Get the car, get the car!"
The gang runs into the RV and drives away from Mystery Mountain. They get ready to go back to the Mystery Shack.
Dipper(sighs and wipes the girls' numbers off of his arm)
Stan(sighs) "Alright, kid. I gotta admit something. I'm no expert on women. Truth is, I've been divorced once, and slapped more times than I can remember. Confidence can buy you a lot, but at the end of the day, pickup artists tend to get our heads bitten off. When it comes to women, I'm a failure."
Dipper "Hey." (points to arm) "We're both failures. You know, even if your dating tips were bad, I actually haven't thought about Wendy all day. Plus, you did teach me to be more confident. I guess I just need to learn to use that power for good."
(walks over to Candy, who is staring out the window) "Hey. I found a pamphlet I don't think you've read yet."
(hands Candy "A Loser's Attempt At An Apology")
Candy(Reads the pamphlet and smiles) " It's okay, Dipper. The open road makes people do crazy things. Plus, after seeing you flee that spider like a baby, I kind of lost interest."
Dipper "Yep! Yep. I deserve that."
The RV enters Gravity Falls. The kids cheer.
Dipper "I still feel a little bad about wrecking those tourist traps."
Stan "Ah, come on. Everyone loves my pranks! And the best part is, I never have to face any consequen--SWEET LORD!"
Stan stops the RV and gets out to see the owners of the tourist traps he pranked ruining the Mystery Shack.
Stan "Aw, come on!"
A Corn Maze worker runs up and smashes one of the RV's headlights with a baseball bat.
Corn Maze Worker "That's what you get! That's what you get!"
(runs away with the other tourist trap owners)
Stan "I don't understand. I completely don't deserve this."
Dipper "Oh, man. Are we gonna have to help clean this up?"
Mabel "Nah, I'm sure Soos will take care of it. Where is Soos, anyway?"
I chuckle and make a spell putting the shack and the RV back to how it used to be
Stan sighs in relief
Soos is still in the Corn Maze.
Soos "Okay, Soos. Remember what your grandma taught you. When you get lost, stay exactly where you are, and don't move. (pause) Don't...move...! (pause) You know, I would make a really good scarecrow."
Then he gets teleported to the front of his house
He pulls a note off his face
"Sorry for leaving you
So there is pizza on the counter as a apology
-Lui "
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone