---
The universe fears me. This is a fact that I can't deny. Even though I've tried hard to show people that I'm an okay guy. I just keep...losing my temper. I'm getting a better grip on it, I've been working as hard as I can to understand and control my powers. Sometimes it's not even my instincts that make me lash out. I'm just so frustrated and lashing out is EASY. I don't have to take sass from people, I don't have to smile and bear with it when someone is rude to me. I can MAKE them shut up. I wouldn't have to do this if they weren't rude to me first though. Why are there so many assholes in the universe?
There was one guy I met who straight out SPIT IN MY FACE when I asked he needed help moving the many boxes he was carrying. I've scanned his mind, it's not like spitting at me was his species's way of saying hello or anything. It was a rude gesture in his culture and he did it to me simply because he didn't like the fact that I offered to help. Not even a culture issue with accepting assistance, he just felt angry that I thought he couldn't carry the boxes himself. It was for the sake of his PRIDE. I tore his leg off and demanded an apology. After sufficient groveling I even reattached his leg properly. See? I'm nice.
Despite that, I've been in a great mood recently. Time Baby hasn't called me up for a government sanctioned assassination job for a couple thousand years now and it has been WONDERFUL.
Despite their fear, there are some who actively seek me out. Criminals who desire my power. I've been giving out the instructions to summon me for many millennia now, along with the fact that I was capable of granting knowledge and semi-wishes, for a price. I've made many Deals here and there. Some of them were incredibly stupid or destructive and I simply refused to do them. They didn't offer me anything good enough to warrant my help.
I was thrilled when my bowtie buzzed. Social interaction! I tap my bowtie and teleport away.
Flashy entrances are fun to do. The sky darkens and I appear in a flash of fire. It is entirely unnecessary to do so but it makes people jump and my twisted half enjoys that small bit of Fear. It's better to feed that part of myself with small things then let it starve until I snap.
I look at my summoner. With but a glance I know his name, history and the fact that he is not someone I will like. Regardless I paste a happy look on my 'face' and greet him.
"Oh hello there! What does the Baron of Jakiel's want with ME of all cosmic entities?"
The large creature before me looked like the unholy child of a sliding ladder and an armadillo. With hair. It was disgusting.
"Bill Cipher. I heard that you can grant nearly anything for a price."
"I make Deals Little Sami. You'd better have something nice to offer me in exchange for that information you want on the secret to your brother's business success."
"How did you know-"
"Oh I know LOTS of things. LOTS OF THINGS." I couldn't resist. It's such a cool line.
Sami Jakiel shudders a little before steeling himself and offering me what his species probably considers a charming smile. I resist the urge to gag. How do their mouths extend THAT far?
"Well no sense discussing business on an empty stomach. Come, let us talk over a hearty meal."
I knew he was just trying to butter me up but who am I to refuse food? Just 'cause I don't NEED to eat doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. I am quite upset that I'll be forced to eat while in my Triangle form and won't be able to properly taste anything. Eh, I'll just teleport the food back to my house in the Nightmare Realm for later consumption. It's not like they'll notice.
The Baron's house was quite grand and decorated heavily in a way that upset my frugal nature. Such a waste of money spent on things that don't serve any practical purpose, nor were they pretty enough to warrant the money spent on them. There's decoration for aesthetic purposes and then there's having 5 endangered Twinga heads mounted above the doorway. They weren't even spaced apart evenly and it was driving my OCD NUTS.
I flicked my fingers and moved them just to make myself feel better.
The dining room was just as opulent but the seats were soft. I sat down and even politely took my hat off. A servant/slave was there with a pretty pillow to put my hat on. I thanked her, earning a flash of confusion from the young girl. She's never been shown gratitude.
My annoyance at the Baron only grew.
He was seated across from me at the head of the table. I stretched my size a little larger so I could better see over the table. Inwardly I wince at how wide my bottom side got. I was taking up 3 chairs of space.
More slaves were coming in with plates piled high with all sorts of food. The Cantonese part of myself was salivating at the thought of trying them all. Meat~
"Since you are already aware of my desire. The question remains, what would you want in return?"
"Oh I want lots of things." I say absently, not even paying him any attention as I stared at all the different dishes. Oh! There's roasted Quizard! And is that mashed Jelly-Potato? Oh my god there's Nebula cake! With....14 layers! I was distantly aware that my eye was turning into a drooling maw with every other blink.
"...So you are a fan of culinary delights?" Sami asks. I caught his thought of bribing me with more delicious food in order to barter down the price of this Deal.
"It's an indulgence." I try to sound casual as I dab the saliva around my bricks with a napkin. Gosh, how embarrassing.
"Well don't let me keep you from the food. Dig in." He smiles with a feeling of victory for succeeding at putting me in a good mood.
I toss food into my mouth, teleporting it to float in stasis back in the Nightmare Realm. I can feel the fear roll off the slaves whenever my hand grabs a little close to where they were standing. Sami Jakiel just watches with smug amusement.
"So, what are the exact terms of your deal?" I dab around my eye after I've grabbed at least a little of everything on the table.
"I want to have my brother's knowledge in my own hands. He only inherited a small quarter of our family's fortune when our parents died and yet he's still making more then I am. That disgusting half-breed doesn't deserve that money." The Baron thumps his clawed fists on the table.
I observe him coldly. A racist bigot. Jealous of his brother's fortune. I know already the secret to his brother's success. Henri Jakiel has been making deals with the local mob boss. He provides them immunity from the law in his lands and in exchange the mafia puts pressure on his business partners to close a favorable deal with him.
Neither of them are good people. It was almost too easy to twist the terms of the Deal into something more vicious. I resist the dark thought. No, bad Bill. The whole point is to try and show that I can be perfectly reasonable with granting people their desires.
Even if it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
"Oh that's easy~ but what are you gonna give me in return?" I lean back in my chair(s) and wait to hear his offers. Chances are they're gonna be worthless things.
"Why rush? There's still desert if you're feeling peckish." He waves his hand and a servant leaves the room with a resigned look.
"Hm..." I shove the entire nebula cake into my eye. "Yeah, I can use a bit of a treat."
"Then let us adjourn to the courtyard. The view is pleasant and the day is fine." He walks with a sickening clacking sound as his spine extends and retracts. I'm glad I haven't actually eaten anything. I might not be able to vomit but I sure as hell can feel like it. I shrink back to my default size and float after him. Grabbing my hat on the way out.
Patience is key Bill. Just hold it in a bit longer.
I will admit his courtyard is nice. The hedges are trimmed, there is a sweet scent of flowers and the view of the city below is breathtaking.
I hear chains rattling and see the slaves dragging a struggling beast into view. They jabbed it with electro-spears and it thrashed before falling limp. I recognized it. Large purple body shaped like a bread loaf. Xanthar!
He's not making any vocalizations, no mouth, face or head to do so. But I can feel his thoughts, nothing quite in words but more a sense of emotions. 'Fear' 'Pain' 'Dreadful anticipation'
"Ah. Found this fine specimen at an auction. It has a unique quality about it that I'm sure you would enjoy." The Baron sounds so proud I had to fight down the urge to incinerate him.
Some other slaves come out carrying a huge cleaver and I watch in horror at they begin, for lack of a better word, cutting another slice of bread from Xanthar's front. The chains rattle as he twists and even though no sound comes from him I hear clearly in my head 'PAIN!' 'AGONY!' and I scream "Stop!" Before I realize it.
Sami is looking at me in shock. Shit, quick, make up an excuse. For guys like this, if I let on how distressed I really am about it, he would use that to his advantage. Guys like this saw sympathy as something to exploit. I will not let myself be exploited.
"I don't need such a big piece. Need to watch my figure you know." I say dismissively as I rub my bricks. Sami lets out a snort of amusement, his mind going back to the entire table full of food I devoured. "Yes. Your figure."
The small bit of Xanthar's flesh is brought to me and I toss it into my eye as well. I felt uncomfortable. Not because I was eating another sentient creature, I'm fine with killing things for food. But Xanthar's still ALIVE and that's something that doesn't sit right with me.
My dad and his friends used to eat live shrimp. They'd sit there with a bucket of shrimp still jumping and just twist their heads off. They peel off the shells and dip the still twitching creature in sauce and eat them raw.
Dad offered me some but I refused. I'm fine with raw food. I'm fine with freshly killed food. But something about eating a creature while it was still alive just rubbed me the wrong way.
Regardless I had an act to keep up. I made a show of moaning at the taste of Xanthar's meat and Sami smiled so smugly. "I had a feeling you would enjoy it. It's quite the delicacy. This species normally bleed out within minutes but this one in particular doesn't die no matter how many pieces you cut it into. Careful preparation can make it last for YEARS."
"Must have cost a lot." I make a show of appraising Xanthar's trembling form. I can feel Sami stare at me in anticipation.
"So, about the payment for the deal..."
"I want HIM!" I say excitedly as I point at Xanthar. The Baron's grin stretched wider with another clack sound.
"Done!" He says delightedly.
I reach out my hand already covered in flames, not even looking at the Baron. "So its a Deal. Your brother's knowledge in your hands in exchange for this guy."
"Deal!" The Baron says as he greedily shakes my hand.
I pull away and float to collect my prize. Behind me I hear Sami's disgusted shout as a slimy piece of meat drops into his hands.
"W-what is THIS?!"
"Your dear brother's brain of course. All his knowledge right there in your hands. As were the terms of our agreement, your exact words." I don't turn to look at him. If I do I might not be able to stop myself from killing HIM too.
I grab onto Xanthar and teleport away. The Baron's enraged scream made me smile.
---
I blink into a temple with Xanthar. There is immediate screaming around me as the temple maidens run from the sudden appearance of the bleeding hulk of Xanthar's body.
"Jheselbraum! Jessie!" I cried loudly as I spit out the piece of Xanthar from earlier and put it back carefully on his body. Another flick of my fingers has the wound healing as if it was never torn up to begin with.
I feel Xanthar's confusion as his pain was eased away by a soothing heat. I pet him gently. "It's okay now. You're safe. I won't let them hurt you anymore."
I hear the sounds of gemstones clinking softly against each other and see a tall woman with many eyes gliding towards me. "Why are you here Cipher?" She says, not quite hostile but certainly unhappy.
"Sorry Jessie. I had to get somewhere safe so I could heal this guy." I scratched his side lightly and felt him lean his bulk on my fingers, 'wonder' 'content' and a faint hope at the non-painful touch. The first he's felt in a long time.
"And you HAD to choose my temple." Jheselbraum deadpanned as she rubbed her face in annoyance.
"It's a compliment. Means your place is safe."
"Not safe enough if you're here." She muttered.
Jessie and I have a complicated relationship. I've watched her for a long time, ever since she was first chosen to be the AXOLOTL's high priestess. We officially met a few years back. She's one of the few creatures in the universe who knows how important my existence really is. She knows I'm the great AXOLOTL'S counterpart. A being on the same level as Time Baby. The rest of the universe only believes me to be a powerful demon-god of Chaos. They don't realize that the god part of my title was actually God. It was better this way. I didn't want to deal with more responsibility. I carefully hid just how powerful I really was. They're scared enough as is.
Jheselbraum doesn't like me. But she understands that I don't have much of a choice. I NEED to cause chaos. It's like fuel for keeping me alive, not that I can really die but whatever. The universe needs me alive. I am one of the three pillars of creation. So she tolerates me.
Me on the other hand, I keep trying to get 'ol Jessie to loosen up and stop being such a stick in the primordial ooze. I can't really dislike her for trying so hard to be a good high priestess for Ax. She really does worship him deeply and wants only to please him. Like a girl with a crush trying to get Senpai to notice her. It's adorable.
Sadly she found my comparison to be blasphemous.
The point of the matter is that her temple is a 'safe' place for me to bring Xanthar until I can find somewhere for him to be. I refuse to bring anyone into the Nightmare Realm. It's much too dangerous. The instability is kept in check only by my own concentration. I won't risk letting people live there full time.
Maybe I should see about getting a house in a nice dimension somewhere.
I pet Xanthar and feel a sense of fondness at the way he nuzzles into my hand. So cute.
"How long are you staying here? You are frightening my shrine maidens."
"Just for a while. I need to find someplace safe for this widdle guy." I coo at Xanthar and feel his thoughts flow into a content calmness. Jheselbraum rolls her many eyes before gliding away. "Just don't let your new...Pet...make a mess."
"Yeah, yeah whatever."
I'm already flashing through images quickly making and discarding different ideas on what to do. I look over at Xanthar who has fallen asleep under my gentle touch. I think I have an idea.
---
"I'm here to cash in one of my Favors."
Time Baby frowns. "SO BE IT CIPHER."
---
"Ta dah! Here's your new home little buddy!"
Xanthar ambles around nudging the floors and walls. Through a long series of discussions that are too boring to think about, I've gotten Xanthar registered as my first official 'Friend'. And by registered I mean I've got paperwork detailing how he belongs to me and no one was allowed to touch him, hurt him or take him from me.
I then built a huge Base for him to live in. The inner dimensions of the building shifting to create more rooms as I think of them. I made a lovely garden area for him along with a kitchen and pantry I can fill with food. He can live here now. Safe and far from anyone who would hurt him.
I know I'm getting attached rather quickly but I can't help it. The poor thing was so scared and abused for so long. The strong feeling of 'Loneliness' that oozed from his form. But he's mine now. I lay on his back as he happily romps around the garden. His thoughts a mix of joy and curiosity.
This was nice.
And I got a friend now. Just like Ax said. I wonder if the rest of Bill's friends are out there somewhere. I admit I haven't been looking. I can let things happen as they do. If I meet them, I meet them. I don't know if I should actively search. There's so much I'm unsure about.
But this here. Right now. This is fine.
I lay down on Xanthar and simply bask in the happy feelings. My body may crave negative emotions, but my soul needs the positive ones.
It made me feel better once the realization hit that I'd just murdered a man today. Ripped his brain right from his skull. Left his drooling body slumped over his desk. It was quick, instant, with barely a thought I'd taken his life. It was EASY. I didn't cry this time but I laid on Xanthar and just listened to his happiness as I tried to tell myself that it was for a good cause.
---
I asked Xanthar for his name and apparently he had only been referred to as 'food' or 'beast' so I named him Xanthar. He liked his new name. I found that his feelings were easily hurt when I took him with me during a summoning and my summoner called him a 'beast'. The wave of sadness coming off him nearly overwhelmed me and my summoner was atomized before I even realized I had done so.
I didn't bring Xanthar to any other summonings.
It still caused issues when Xanthar and I went out together though. People would tell me to leave my 'pet' outside. They would complain of the 'creature' taking up so much space. My new found mama bear side went on a fucking rampage. To the point that Jessie actually summoned me to let me know I had to calm the FUCK down.
So I placed a Curse upon his name. Anyone who speaks badly of him, who insults him or calls him anything that upsets him will have their lips sealed shut until I felt they'd been sufficiently punished. If they can't say anything nice they shouldn't speak at all.
Sadly, even though I started the curse as a way to try and teach the universe to stop calling him mean things that hurt his feelings, the universe instead started calling him the Being Whose Name Must Not Be Said. They completely missed the point. He HAS a name. It's Xanthar. If they just called him by his ACTUAL name instead of rude terms there would be no trouble.
I can't fucking deal with idiots. I seriously can't. It's why I got fired from one of my jobs back when I was human. I was literally fired for sassing the customers. I mean, I understand that the 'customer is always right' but that is not true. And I just...couldn't smile and bare it. It's just gotten worse since now I had NO reason to grin and bare it.
I wasn't going to take shit from anyone.
And I wouldn't let my sweet darling little Xanthar get hurt. Never again.
I was just so happy. He was MINE. All mine. I clung to him constantly. I would have given him anything he ever wanted. I would have done everything in my power to keep him happy. But Xanthar just wanted a garden to run in. A warm place to sleep. To know that it won't hurt when he moves. I feel I might have gotten too over protective of him in those first few months. Eventually, the AXOLOTL himself told me to calm the FUCK down. My over-protective rampages were starting to be too much for even HIM to ignore.
"B-but he's my friend. My first friend. What if something happens and he gets hurt when I'm not looking? What if someone tries to take a bite out of him?!"
-....this was not what I was expecting when I asked you to get a friend...-
Ax sighed and told me that I shouldn't worry so much. Well sorry if I've still got my god damn trauma about my only OTHER friend in this life, who I ended up EATING in a fit of sleep deprived insanity! The memory got dug up and it was still painful despite how long its been. One of the downsides to having perfect memory recall.
I clung to Xanthar's side and cried for a long time. I was so happy and yet so stressed out. I didn't want to lose him. My friend. My dear friend. I know that he was really more like a pet (as much as I hated that word being used in association with him) but I didn't care. I was just so lonely. And I killed a man for him. Two actually. I guess I haven't really gotten over that yet.
I think even Xanthar was starting to realize my clinginess wasn't healthy. He may not be able to form thoughts in proper words but he understood things a lot more than I expected. One day he simply nudged me off him and shook his 'head'.
"W-what? What's wrong Xanthar?"
'Sadness' 'understanding' 'patience' 'worry'
He nudged me with one large toe. It was a gentle touch.
'Peace'
I blinked away some forming tears. "...I...you're right...I'm sorry..."
It took a bit before I could relax enough to let Xanthar go out and about without me. I was always worried someone would kidnap him. Take him from me. But he was a lot stronger than I thought. He easily smashed some poachers who hadn't gotten the memo that 'no one touches Bill Cipher's pet'.
To try and ease my fears he trained a lot, running and pulling heavy things. He wanted to be strong enough to protect himself so that I wouldn't have to worry about him. So that I wouldn't be so unhappy.
I think I loved him even more for it.
---