Chapter 279: C279 Friend Like Me
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"Did you read my mind and copy the Genie from Aladdin?" Peter asked as he caught a glimpse of a smirk on the Genie's lips.
Though it disappeared a moment later.
As the Ancient One said, Genies have the ability to read their masters mind and although Peter's mental protections are perfect, it seems like it's still not strong enough for an entity like this.
"Peter? Hello, Peter. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Pete?" Genie uses his name without being told, solidifying Peter's assumption even further.
"No." Peter refused to be called Pete.
"Do you smoke?" Genie asks as the mic turned into a cigar, which he stuck in his mouth. "Mind if I do?"
"Sure, go ahead." He shrugged.
At the very least, the Genie was amusing and he sounded just like Robin Williams, which was a plus in his book.
(A/N: Rest In Peace Robin Williams❤️)
"You're a lot smaller than my last master." Genie took a moment to size Peter up. "Either that or I'm getting bigger. Check me out from the side. Do I look fat to you?"
Genie turned and stuck his stomach out before sucking it back in and flexing like a musclebound bodybuilder.
"Nope, looking good." Peter decided to just play along.
"Thanks, kid. So, what would you wish of me? The ever-impressive, the long-contained, often imitated but never duplicated. Genie of the Lamp!" With every word, Genie acted out different scenarios and characters. "Right here direct from the lamp. All for your wish fulfillment."
"Wish fulfillment, huh?" Peter smirked.
"Three wishes to be exact. And no wishing for more wishes or other thought-up loopholes. That's it. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds." Genie explained theatrically.
"Sounds almost too good to be true..." Peter continued to play along while wondering if he would actually start singing like the Genie in Aladdin. 'Aladdin is my favorite Disney movie...'
The Genie seemed to hear Peter's thoughts as that smirk returned once again.
"Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate whilst I illuminate the possibilities." Genie said as familiar music started to fill the surrounding area.
(🎶Aladdin - Friend Like Me🎶)
(A/N: I heavily recommend listening to the song while reading, though if you don't like this kind of stuff, then just skip the song portion. Ps- make sure it's the original with Robin Williams.)
When Ali Baba had them 40 thieves, Scheherezad-ie had a thousand tales.
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves, you got a brand of magic never fails.
You got some power in your corner now, some heavy ammunition in your camp, you got some punch, pizzaz, yahoo and how, see all you gotta do is rub that lamp, and I'll say.
Mister Peter, sir! what will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it down, you ain't never had a friend like me. Hahaha!
Life is your restaurant, and I'm your Maitre d'! Come on, whisper what it is you want, you ain't never had a friend like me.
Yes, sir, we pride ourselves on service, you're the boss, the king, the shah.
Say what you wish, it's yours! True dish, how about a little more baklava?
Have some of column A, try all of column B.
I'm in the mood to help you dude, you ain't never had a friend like me.
Wah ha ha, Oh, my.
Wah ha ha, No, no.
Wah ha ha, My my my.
Can your friends do this?
Do your friends do that?
Can your friends pull this... out their little hat?
Can your friends go, poof?
Well, looky here, haha, can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip!
And then make the sucker disappear?
So doncha sit there slack, jawed, buggy-eyed.
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers, you got me bona fide, certified, you got a genie for your chare d'affaires.
I got a powerful urge to help you out, so what you wish? I really wanna know.
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt, well, all you gotta do is rub like so, and oh.
Mister Peter, sir! Have a wish or two or three.
I'm on the job, you big nabob.
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend. You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend. You ain't never... had a... FRIEND LIKE ME! Ah ha ha! Wah ha ha! You ain't never had a friend like me.
-song end-
As the song came to an end and Peter emerged from the whole crazy magical experience, which could almost rival the time his consciousness was thrown across the many dimensions, Genie sat there in front of him with a smirk on his face and a floating neon sign that read 'Applause'.
Peter couldn't help it and started clapping.
After all, he just had the chance to live out a childhood dream, so the least he could do is show some appreciation for the Genie's effort.
"That was great." Peter says wholeheartedly. "Though you can go back to normal now. You made your point."
"I don't think I will." Genie said as a huge mirror appeared in front of him. "I quite like this Genie, so I think I'll keep the image."
"Uh... Okay?" Peter nodded dumbly.
"So, what'll it be, Master?" Genie asked expectantly as the mirror disappeared.
He seemed to be keeping with the Aladdin Genie persona, which Peter didn't mind.
Although he found it a bit weird, Genies were already a complicated race to become with, and it's very likely that they've become a bit insane due to the many millennia spent trapped in containers.
It's possible that this Genie found Peter's idea of a perfect Genie and latched onto it somehow.
'Or he's just evil and wants to put on a good front.' Peter thought as the Genie turned away, pretending not to listen to his master's innermost thoughts.
"Any more restrictions that I should know about?" Peter asks.
"Well, there are a few limitations, a couple of quid pro quos." Genie says.
"Like?"
"Rule number one! I can't kill anybody. So don't ask. Rule number two! I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else. Rule number three! I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture and I don't like doing it. Other than that, you got it." Genie explains in his usual exaggerated self. "There are a few other unsaid additions, but you'll find them If you're greedy enough."
"You're an all-powerful genie and you can't even bring people back from the dead?" Peter asked, though he didn't plan on doing so in the first place.
"Excuse me? Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? These are my rules. Take 'em or leave 'em." Genie says in annoyance.
"Alright, here." Peter shrugs as he hands over his first and most powerful contract.
"Let's see here..." Genie mutters as he takes the contract and morphs into a lawyer's appearance with a pair of big square glasses. "Hmm... Details of the exchange... Addenda... Confidentiality Clause... Termination clause... Consequences of Breach of the agreement... and finally the date and signatures. Wow."
"I like to be thorough." Peter nods.
"Yeah, well, not going to happen." Genie shook his head as he ripped the contract into confetti and tossed it at Peter.
"Why?" Peter asked as he swatted the paper away.
"First, I'm not some godlike being. I can't just snap my fingers and make you into a god." Genie waves his hands around. "I mean, really? Omnipotence and Omniscience? How can I possibly give you something that I can't obtain myself? Come on, Kid. I'm a Genie, not a miracle worker."
With Omniscience Peter would know everything. Quite literally.
What could be, has been, and will be, Peter would know it all.
As for Omnipotence, he would have unlimited power with the ability to do anything that he could imagine.
He would be an all-powerful god.
"Eh, I thought that might happen." Peter shrugs uncaringly as he pulls out his second contract.
"Another one?" Genie reached out and grabbed the papers. "Hmm... What the hell is a system? Status, shop, inventory, missions, sign-in, gacha. What's a gacha?"
"It's like gambling for losers." Peter explains briefly.
"I see, and your second wish is... Gamers Body." Genie mutters in boredom as he holds the contract up and snaps his fingers, lighting it ablaze and turning it into ash. "Not happening."
"Why?" Peter actually cared a bit this time around. "I'm not asking for anything godly."
"Just the system alone is like 6 different wishes, and that's not counting every time you would use the shop." Genie explains with a wave of his hand. "Get real, Pete."
With the system, Peter would be able to live his life as if it were a game and increase his power with ease.
And the Gamers Body would assist in making him into a real game character, unlocking his potential into infinity.
Of course, it came with a few extra perks, like receiving no physical damage from attacks. Only pain for a few seconds and a loss of HP.
And after sleeping in a bed, it restores HP, MP, and cures all status effects.
He would have truly lived as a game character.
"Please don't call me that." Peter sighs as he begrudgingly takes out his last contract.
He couldn't help but hope it would work as he handed it over to the Genie.
After all, it's his last one.
"Let's see here..." Genie pushed up his glasses and began to read for a third time. "Hmm... Infinite potential and perfect evolution? These might just work..."
Infinite potential is as simple as it sounds. Peter's body, mind, and soul would have unending infinite potential to grow.
Perfect Evolution is just as simple as well. Peter would be adaptable to everything, developing into the strongest being that he could be.
And with his infinite potential, there would be no limit to how far he could evolve.
With these powers together, Peter could simply inject himself with the Celestial DNA that he recently took possession of and evolve, integrating the pros of the Celestial race into himself while shooing off the cons.
His path to godhood would be much slower, but still possible.
If Peter could use his third wish, he would ask for Instant Mastery or something like that, which would hasten his rise to power by a lot.
After all, he would still have to train his evolutionary powers just like any other person.
Even Quill, who is a Celestial, has lived his entire life as a normal human.
Power doesn't just build up on its own. It needs to be practiced diligently over time.
"Really?" Peter asked hopefully.
"Yeah, but remember when I said there'd be some unsaid additions to the restrictions?" Genie said hesitantly.
"Yeah, why?" Peter raised a brow in question.
"Well..."
A/N: 1860 words :) Did you like the musical addition? I doubt it'll ever happen again in this story, but I thought it was fun.
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